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Youth group rules.

Nov 5th by Jon
#651.

“What am I supposed to do, swivel?”

An exasperated friend asked me that recently. He was telling me about a rule he had received as a Christian youth camp counselor. In the contract for the camp, he had been told, “You can only side hug the campers. No front hugs.”

And that’s an OK rule. That makes sense, I get that. It’s designed to protect both the campers and the counselors. But my friend had a problem. Occasionally a camper would break down in tears, say something like, “My uncle just died and it is killing me” and then throw their arms out for a front hug.

Which is when my friend proclaimed, “What am I supposed to do swivel? In that moment, as they lean in for a hug, should I just turn, lightning fast and offer them a side hug? ‘Go ahead, let it out fella, go ahead and cry on my hip.’”

The weird thing is my youth group basically had the opposite rule. At the end of each time we hung out, we couldn’t leave the room until we had all hugged the mandatory number of necks. The youth minister would say, “5 mandatory hugs tonight” and then the most awkward 7th grade hugs would commence. (They weren’t awkward for me, I was rocking MC Hammer type pants and a vanilla ice stripe in my eyebrow, my hugs were dope. Yo.)

But hearing his story about the forced side hug made me realize something: there are no internationally agreed upon rules for the governance of youth groups.

So today, I thought I would set out to right that wrong. To create a list of rules for all youth groups based on the ideas we’ve all discussed in the last 18 months. I give you …

The Stuff Christians Like Youth Group Rules …

Singles of the world unite! Or at the bare minimum come see me speak about how to have a wicked awesome dating life on Wednesday, November 11 at North Point Community Church outside of Atlanta, Georgia.

The event is free. I will probably try to pop n’ lock at least once. I will be handing out booty, God, booty buttons like they were sweet satirical candies. And you’ll get to meet my wife, who is the smarter of the two Acuffs. Space is limited, so make sure you sign up if you want to come hang out.

Register right here.

So a few weeks ago I decided to give the biggest banner away free to a charity of your choice. The response was overwhelming and I was not prepared for the number of charities that were nominated. So I’ve expanded the idea to include 2 instead of 1.

Click here to vote on a charity

Here is the charities we’re voting on with links to their sites so you can check them out before you vote:

amanikids.org

ggcckenya.com

xxxchurch.org

stophungernow.org

tradeasone.com

love146.org

twloha.org

nothingbutnets.net

compassion.com

worldvision.org

charitywater.org

The big banner for the month of November is going to go to another charity I’ve decided to partner with on something that is crazy. More on that Monday.

Click here to vote until the end of Sunday, November 8.

Thanks for helping us doing something bigger than us on Stuff Christians Like.

Jon

#650.

A few weeks ago, I bumped into a problem that’s plagued me for years, if not decades.

Was it deodorant related? No, but thank you for asking. I am well aware of that issue. I’m Old Spice Red Zone all the way but fear I might have beaten it. Is that possible? Is it possible that my body has bested that deodorant and I need to move on to something else? I can’t wear Axe body spray in large part due to the countless semi-clothed ladies who uncontrollably throw themselves at you the minute you drench your skin in something named “Swagger.” I’m running out of deodorant options, and I’m not kidding. I was probably one of the only people who packed deodorant in the backpack they wore around the Catalyst Conference. Bible? Sure everybody had that. Notebook? Without a doubt. Deodorant? I had it. But that wasn’t the issue that came up …

#649.

Unless you live outside of the United States, never follow college football or currently attend Florida State, you are required by Christian law to root for University of Florida quarterback, Tim Tebow.

I’m sorry if you disagree with me. I don’t write the laws. I just distribute them when they are dropped off on my doorstep by a pure white dove named Cornelius who works for the Southern Baptist Convention. The stories I could tell about the adventures me and that bird have found ourselves in. Wow! Another day, another day.

If you’ve never heard of him, Tim Tebow is the quarterback for the highly ranked Florida Gators and more importantly, a huge fan of God. His willingness to spread the name of Christ through the vehicle of football is honestly really cool and I am not just saying that because he could crush me like a grape while I flailed my tender writer hands around like a helicopter in self defense.

I dig Tim Tebow.

In fact I dig him so much that I am going to offer him a few words of wisdom for free. I know, I know, I’m a giver.

Here’s some advice for any famous Christian athlete:

David Crowder Winners.

Nov 3rd by Jon

A couple of weeks ago I asked everyone what they would like to ask David Crowder. He agreed to answer some questions from Stuff Christians Like. Ya’ll asked some great questions. Here are the six I am sending to his people. If your question is on here email me with your mailing address and “Crowder” in the subject line and I’ll make sure you get a copy of the band’s new CD, “Church Music.” David will pick three of the questions to answer and then I’ll post his response. Thanks for making the conversation so fun.

Gina Ballerina

How do you deal with it when you don’t feel particularly close to God, or even are mad at Him, and you have to play a concert?

@brodave872

What is the strangest place you’ve found inspiration for song or creative idea? Your mashed potatoes? Pocket lint that resembles the face of Jesus? An exceptionally good burrito?

Mary

I would ask how high he scored on the “How Metrosexual Are You Because You’re A Worship Pastor” quiz.

James

Do you ever get tired of leading worship and want to be led? And where or what do you to get that refreshment? I wonder this about our worship leader since it seems that he is always leading at our church and the Sundays that he isn’t there its because he is leading someplace else. I would imagine it would be even more difficult for you.

Thad

If you could make an album without regard to commercial/CCM/fanbase expectation, what would it sound like? In other words, you could indulge every personal creative motif at your disposal.

@justinwithafro

You’re in a metal cage death match with you, Mac Powell, Chris Tomlin, Soul Glow Activator, Matt Redman, Matt Thiessen and Reese Rooper. Who comes out alive?

John Scheepers

As a “Christian celebrity” (I know that title stinks but there is some truth in it), whose first devotion is to Christ and not your own press, how do you maintain your integriy, humility and godliness and keep the focus on Christ, in the face of the hype from Christian media and fans?

#648.

A few weeks ago I went to a worship event. Midway through, one of the speakers got up and told the crowd to get on their feet. The crowd obliged and for a few minutes the speaker talked while we all stood listening.

Unfortunately, he forgot to release us from our foot bondage.

The “go ahead and sit down” never came. We waited patiently and it just didn’t happen. Have you ever experienced that? If not, I want you to be prepared. I want you to be ready. So let’s break down what goes through your head when you find yourself marooned on your feet in the middle of church …

This is how you properly dress as a Metrosexual Worship Leader

This is how you rock it as a Metrosexual Worship Leader.

Last night, Becky rocked the Metrosexual Worship Leader look using pointers from this post. I think that is hilarious, especially the addition of the French Press. For more about what she did, click here.

Are you doing anything for Halloween?

Are you going trick or treating?

Will you go to a church alternative event like trunk or treat or a fall festival?

Or are you shot blocking this “holiday” all together?

(I’m dressing up as a GI Joe character at the request of some neighborhood youths and taking two princesses around in the hopes of filling bags with candy that isn’t those disgusting Mary Jane things.)

What are you doing for Halloween?

#647.

(I’ve been thinking for a while now about how to write a post about when we claim not to have some general spiritual gifts. I know there have been times in my own life where friends have said things like this to me, “I just can’t get into the Bible, I don’t think reading it is one of my spiritual gifts.” That seems a little silly to me, but I couldn’t figure out a good way to write about that topic. Until I received an unexpected guest post from a guy named Christopher Madin. He didn’t mean to send me a guest post, he just emailed me a funny story. But as soon as I read it I knew it needed to be shared on Stuff Christians Like. Without further ado, I give you brand new guest post…)

Not having the spiritual “gift of helps”

A couple years ago I got in a heated argument with a fairly well-known Christian author when he was guest speaking in our Sunday school class. He was talking about how we each have spiritual gifts, which is totally valid, but by way of example he happened to mention that you would never find him sweeping up the church because he didn’t have the “Gift of Helps.”

I have to admit that I kind of went after him on this in a way that, looking back, bordered on inappropriate. I pointed out that I didn’t see “helps” mentioned as a spiritual gift in any Bible I’ve read. I told him that it doesn’t take any particular spiritual gift to clean up or help out around the church – unlike prophesying or healing the sick, anyone can swing a broom.

I suggested that the idea of a gift of “Helps” was invented by people who were too lazy to pitch in and help out around the church. I asked him if he was seriously suggesting that he couldn’t put a chair away because he didn’t have that spiritual gift. “I see that those chairs need to be put away, and I’m just standing here. I wish I could help, I really do. If only God had blessed me with the Gift of Helps!”

That’s about when our college ministry pastor got up and closed things out for the day. I was such a jerk, I know, but what a load of nonsense.

Has that ever happened to you? Have you ever claimed not to have the spiritual gift of helps so that you could get out of doing something you didn’t want to do?

(For more great stuff from Chris Madin, check out his blog.)

#133.

(It finally happened. I wrote a post last year in which I bemoaned the fact that no one would paint a mural of the scene in the Bible where Elisha orders bears to kill a bunch of teenagers. Well, a really talented comic book artist, named Wes Moelbash, actually illustrated it. (The link to his site is now updated and correct, please go show Wes some love.) The post is below and the illustration is after the jump. Check it out.)

Refusing to paint my mural.

I think Bible story murals might be slowly dying. As much as we love them, I am starting to see them at less and less churches. The days of having Noah’s Ark painted on the walls of your area for kids is slowly giving way to more contemporary creative visual interpretations of the Bible. And I’m fine with that as long as someone will finally paint my idea for a mural. I am of course talking about the scene in 2 Kings when the prophet Elisha orders some bears to attack teenagers who called him bald.

Go ahead and reread that last sentence, it’s a weird one. But here’s what it says in 2 Kings 2:23-24:

From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. “Go on up, you baldhead!” they said. “Go on up, you baldhead!” He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.

That story is insane and here’s how I envision the mural. Elisha is standing in the middle of all these angry, bald hating teenagers. He looks really enraged and the caption out of his mouth says, “Do you know where you are? You’re in the jungle baby! You’re gonna die!” And then in the corner of the mural are two huge bears with hockey sticks. I’m not sure why they have hockey sticks but it seems a little tougher to me.

That’s my idea, but so far churches are refusing to take me up on it.

Until today that is …

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