SCL

Seriously d00d,

I think I’m going to use some of these to intro a series on Christianity vs. Christian w/ this video:

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=d1345dd8fe4e481144d8

my kids are going to be BEGGIN for this site =)

ohhhh teh funs we shall have!

We liked to call it “how far is too far?”

this blog is so hilarious.

Is this the tanner I know? The one from Atlanta?
Jon

The best way I ever heard it put was on xxxchurch and I believe Craig Gross said: “If it gets up, You get up”. Now he’s not a youth pastor but I think it’s pretty solid advice.

This may be a pharisee statement but i did not kiss my wife unless the preacher said that i could. i think our relationship is better for it. there will be plenty of times to get your grove on after you are married. i was 26 when i got married. so 26 years without it and, God willing, 50 years with it. I’m good.

Emphasizing virginity is one of my biggest complaints with how youth groups approach sexual purity.

It makes it seem like one lapse in judgment voids your purity and Grace/forgiveness becomes like a footnote.

Yeah, this can be tough.
I was a youth sponsor/praise team leader for a youth group in a small town in Missouri when this topic came up.
A junior high girl who was visiting for the first time randomly (and loud enough for little old ladies down the hall to hear) asked this question: “Is sucking on a dudes **** bad?”
The youth pastor’s face went five shades of white! I think he ended up pulling the “we’ll talk later” card.

ChrisfromNH,
Okay that is good advice but what about the times it goes up randomly? Get up anyway?

I told the girls I spent time with, “Whatever you can do and still glorify God, then go for it. And if you can figure out a way to go all the way, then please let me know.” They fully understood the implications of that statement – however, their straight-laced Sunday school teachers did not. Hmmm, didn’t go over too good.

This is how I see it:
As long as both people keep all the romance no lower than the neck things should be alright. 2nd base is danger zone and well . . . I guess that’s all I’m willing to say.

If you can do it and glorify God at the same time…then by all means. I couldn't tell you how many times I kept things "above the neck" and still popped boners and had lustful thoughts.
I truly think that men and women are waiting too long to seek a marriage partner and then dating for too long without getting married. bBy the time I got married (26) I could've humped a tree. should've gotten married around 22.

funny!!
I am 26 now and thinking I ought to get married to the dude I am dating…
"before I hump I tree" will be a great, convincing argument for it. LOL

thanks!

I think this post deserves a remix. This topic can be one of the more entertaining pieces of christian awkwardness.

I'm really surprised that I didn't comment on this when I read through before. Anyways, I really think this needs a remix, possibly for a serious post. I think there is a lot of funny to be had here but I know that I've researched this and can't find much written on it from the Christian circles. Too many things that people are afraid to address. I wrote on it for my blog a while back. Also, some of the problems are "don't have sex till you are married" means "get married so you can have sex." to many people who really love God. We need more clear teaching.

Remix! Remix! I agree with Silas that emphasizing virginity over the other kinds of goodness and purity kind of misses the point, and minimizes all the OTHER sins being committed.

Remix! Definitely needs to be talked about.

[...] 4. All youth group ministers should expect at least one kid to ask for a precise definition of “what it means to be a virgin.” [...]

My youth leader answered it this way: "Everyone is someone's future spouse. Don't do anything with someone that you wouldn't want someone doing with your future spouse. And don't do anything you'd be ashamed to admit to your future spouse."

I think that's a really great way to deal with it!

Rule of thumb I decided upon while in high school and pass on to kids I lead small groups for: "If you don't have one, don't touch it." It tends to make kids laugh, but I think it gets to the point concisely and covers a lot of ground…but agreed, the "future spouse" explanation is a good one. Yeah, I think emphasizing "staying a virgin" can confuse kids with all the gray area it allows, so more thorough explanations are generally needed, especially in terms of how spiritually and mentally damaging pre-marital sexual activities (not just intercourse) can be.

I've known several couples who have a waited to get married to kiss, and some of them don't recommend it for reasons I won't take up time/space going into. I know others who waited until they got engaged and said that worked pretty well for them. And I know a ton of other couples who kiss while dating, but honestly I think this is a topic that Christians not only avoid talking to teens about, but avoid talking to each other about…my (non-married/dating) friends aren't very into discussing it, anyway. It definitely needs to be more openly discussed, but in safe environments (i.e. maybe in same-gender circles).

A late entry, but here are my kid's youth pastor's definition of 'safe dating'
1) Stay in group settings -no getting off 'alone'
2) Don't lay down – thing happen when you lay down that don't when you are upright.
3) Don't touch any body part that is (or should be) covered with underwear.
His wife would also get together with the girls once a year and totally gross them out with the thought that you are not only having sex with that person, you are having sex with everyone they have also. Germs!!