SCL

Excellent.

I was just thinking I needed to slow down on the comments bcs SURELY I was getting annoying with all of them when out of the blue you had to write about divorce…a big big big epidemic that is hurting the body of Christ in a big big big way. I’m glad you pointed the flashlight on it for a moment.

There is, in fact, such a thing as bear spray. Its basically just a giant canister of pepper spray. Check it out, and believe:

http://www.rei.com/product/623173

Some of us are in fact aware of the threat, Jon, and we’re doing something about it. Spread the word: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/a506fde1d3

P.S. Don’t look at anything else on Funny or Die. It’s likely that your accountability software will flag you.

Whereas I agree wholeheartedly with the sentiments of this post, statistics indicate that divorce rates are so high because of “repeat offenders.” If marriage A ends and marriage B lasts, but then the person in marriage A fails at marriage C, and marriage D lasts, the A-C person inflates the statistics. The divorce rate is actually closer to 25%, which is still way too high. My pastor once made a long list of rules for relationships, and one of them for marriages was “don’t stop dating.” Good rule.

Hark -
Please feel free to keep throwing comments my way. Really appreciate you sharpening the posts. The divorce stat I was using was actually for first time weddings and did not factor in second time weddings which have like a 70% divorce rate. But if I’m wrong I would love to know where you got your info so I could fix this post. That would be huge. I don’t want an error in my research

Bear spray is totally real…in Montana and Wyoming: Raid Alaska

I was looking at a study sometime last year that broke down divorce by faith affiliation. Evangelical Christians were by far the most likely of any group in the States to get divorced. I wonder if it’s a result of all these books about not dating. How do you never stop dating if you never started?

We spend so much time angsting about whether we’re sinning and so little time wondering if we’re being selfless and loving. You don’t need to pray to God each time you have sex, you need to talk to your wife.

Amen. I think I’ll use that illustration when promoting our next marriage retreat or Bible study on marriage. That’s a great contrast.

“I hate divorce,” says the LORD God of Israel, “and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,” says the LORD Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.” Malachi 2:16

I second God’s opinion on divorce. I hate it with everything in me. It ruins men, women, and children. It is an epidemic that is destroying the fabric of our society. All I have ever witnessed from people who have been divorced is drama, drama, and more drama.

I am probably not qualified to speak on this so someone can slap me back if needed. I am married and have never been divorced. Marriage is hard but overall is wonderful. There are situations that are exceptions but for the most part i think divorce is just basically out of selfishness.

We are all the same. We all have our weaknesses. i think in a bad marriage people just focus on the others faults and in a good marriage they focus on their strengths. Of course we help each other improve but we see the gift of each other. My philosophy on relationships is in this blog post.

“For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.”
James 2:10

I think this verse puts us all on level ground so we cant say we are better than our spouses.

“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.”
Proverbs 18:22

i hope i continue to get caught off guard by divorce, not out of ignorance, but because marriage is so precious.

For help with family issues check out Focus on the Family.

I think our generation (secular, at least) is stopping divorce – by simply not getting married or marrying very very late.

I want to strengthen my marriage, but, you know, I”M BUSY! Do they make a marriage spray?

I’m totally stealing your bear analogy next time I have a discussion about divorce.

“I wonder if it’s a result of all those books about not dating. How do you never stop dating if you never started?” Genius, Brenna. Pure genius.

I am new to this site and I am progressively reading thru your blogs, but there are some radio and tv commercials being aired by the Catholic Churh that promote doing something for your marriage. They ads supposedly ask random people on teh street if they are married and if so what have they done for their marriage. Juse something cool to mention.

After all these months, this is still my favorite post. Looked it up again to forward to some coworkers. Helped a best friend move into her new home this weekend after her husband left her and ended their 17 year marriage.

Actually, I think I might try bear spray on him come to think of it.

Being a victim of divorce (yep, he divorced me and there’s nothing you can do about it in these days of “no fault divorces) and being married to another divorcee, I can tell you that much much worse than “getting caught off guard by divorce” is “Divorce is the unpardonable sin.”

Until you’ve been divorced and understand how folks like Ethan treat you in church (all the things you can’t do in church now because God doesn’t forgive divorce), none of this particular post is funny.

I HATE divorce myself, but unfortunately, I am now twice divorced myself…and it SUCKS.

My first marriage of almost 12 years was an issue of us not having that spiritual thing right, even though we were both believers. I found the hard way that if that part isn’t right, nothing else will be, either.

The second was an issue of abuse and anger/bitterness continuing to spew all over me. We were married just over 4 years but the marriage was over LONG before.

Before my wife and I got married, our counselor started off very blunt and told me, “Charlie, if you guys get a divorce, it’s your fault.” I didn’t know whether to be offended or what. But I’m agreeing with it more and more each day. It’s something I keep in the back of my head. Not in a fearful way, but something I take very serious.

My church has marriage counseling, but I get irked when more pulpit time is given to gay marriage than divorce. Which is more destructive to heterosexual marriage, gay marriage or divorce? Thanks for bringing up this HUGE topic. As we grow more aware of divorce, we'll find more effective ways to avoid it and it will become less of a problem in the church.

There is a such thing as bear spray. Woops

While it's definitely a serious issue, I think there are worse things that can happen in someone's life (spiritually or otherwise) than getting a divorce. Living trapped in an verbally or physically abusive relationship is one of them (based on observation).

Also, there is a stigma associated with admitting to having problems and to getting help for them – especially in a "Christian" environment. It's worse if the couple having troubles is a church leader. Even if we are all fallible, some aren't forgiven their errors or weaknesses on a practical level.

Some churches require pre-marital counseling prior to the wedding, but I'm not really sure how helpful this is if the couple doesn't know who they are as individuals first. For me, I waited until I was a little older to get married, and I already knew myself pretty well, so it was easier to know that I would be a good match with my husband – both because we were in love and we had compatibilities in our life goals and philosophies. We didn't need a pastor or a counselor to tell us that.

I could go on, but this is just supposed to be a comment…

I’m married and if you are too then statistically speaking, one of us is going to get a divorce.

You can relax. It's me.