#106. The side hug.
Apr 2nd by JonThis is satire. This is not related to that rap video. As one hate mail pointed out, I am “gangsta as a pocket watch” and as such do not currently possess the flow to create a rap video. Here’s the post I wrote about side hugs in April 2008.
Yes, God wants us to be compassionate and kind and tender with each other. Not only that, but he wants us to love our enemies and serve our neighbors. As long as there is no body on body action. I’m talking of course about a “full frontal hug,” one of those sinful abominations where you just wrap your arms around a friend and embrace them. That’s why Christians the world over have pioneered the “side hug.” In the side hug there’s no risk of two crotches touching. Instead of face to face, you go side to side, putting your arm around the person and your hip against their’s. Still having a hard time mastering it? Pretend you’re taking a photo and you’re both looking at the camera together. The side hug, or A frame as it is also called, is safe for the whole family, friendly and above all holy. I don’t know the exact scripture reference but try the book of Psalms.
Comments
Dear John, My friend and I enjoy reading this post and the comments following shortly thereafter. The full frontal hug, when done properly, I believe is quite alright. Even though we do practice the "side hug" often. A hug is a friendly gesture that can be used and abused by many who seek out harmful desires. In conclusion, do not judge your fellow Christ follows by their choice of Hug.
From the words of a wise man
"Side hugs don't make babies"
When I first read this I thought it was a joke! I'm a guy who LOVES "frontal" hugs. The fact that there is chest on chest contact isn't even an issue! I don't know who made that up. It's nothing sexual either, it's not about that at all, it's a good non sexual way to show affection.
Growing up it's never been weird to hug my mom or sisters, why should it be different for hugging girls that are friends?
All I see here is a bunch of people worried about what someone will think if they see their chests touch.
If you don't feel comfortable with that sort of contact fine. But it's important when you set yourself a moral standard, that it's based on your relationship with god and not based on what the world will see.
I had NEVER experienced the side hug until 2 years ago. I've always gone to church and been in a christian-like group for about a year, beofore that, and only got the sidehug until I saw someone I knew at a gathering. It was shocking. I was astonished. I mused about it when I got back home and started wondering where that amazing thing came from. I'd never heard of side hugs. I'd never thought about using side hugs. I think they're great though.
I'm 17 BTW.
Alright. I have this frustration with side hugs that irritates me to no end.
As a guy, I do not get many hugs, and I do not have any sexual motive for the rare hugs I get. Some people refuse to hug me, simply because they have a FEAR of hugging me, even though it relieves my stress greatly even if its only for a second. I refuse to call these people friends.
Why, you ask? Because if someone refuses to give you a full-on hug,they either:
a) do not trust you
b) are uncomfortable around you
c) do not know you well enough.
Maybe there are exceptions, but I've found that if someone can walk up and give me a hug anytime (guy or girl) they're a friend for life! If they can't or don't…I have a low expectation for the life expectancy of the friendship!
In my life since i was little i have gone thorught alot of abuse and it stoped me from loving anyone even my friends then this past summer i went to camp Norland and made some really greatfriends and they dont do a side hug they just give a big bear hug and they are christians like me and we have never heard of that type of hug even if thats how we hug when were a group but pebbles and candy always justgave bear hugs and showed all their love and cared about us sooo much and i will always remenbre them for all they have tought me… You can still love you just have to be carefull of who you love because it can turn really bad really fast… I should know
So I relatively recently found this site — a couple months ago tops. And I've been that lurker who just reads many of the posts and gets a good laugh. After reading this post, Jon, I laughed at it, but couldn't remember a time when I had been on either side of the side-hug — giving or receiving. Fast forward (or rewind, depending on where you think we are in time) to last week, I go back to the city where I went to college for one of my best friends wedding and a bunch of us are carpooling to a concert and thus meeting in a parking lot. I get out of the car and see a couple people I haven't seen in a few years. 1st person I run into, we do the full frontal hug. Bam, done, not a problem in the world, it's like nothing's changed. I then run into the next person, standing right next to the person I had just given a full frontal hug to, and I slowly approach with the most important question — are we hugging? So I start to go in for the hug, but what happens?? My right arm slowly goes around her back, with her left hand behind my mine, and before I knew it, we were there: the fully embraced side-hug. Inside, I couldn't have laughed harder at the recognition that at that present moment, I was half of a side hug.
This just makes me think of "the man hug" our youth group guys came up with! They do a really quick frontal hug where they just lean into each other (barely touching) and slap eachother's backs. It cracks me up every time they do it. It only lasts for about a second but it's pretty creative I must say. Sure beats the side hug hehe.
full frontal hugs!!!!!!!! i love them and i wont side hug because its not loveing or caring, its…..polite
My father is a minister, I grew up in church, yada, yada… I'm quite familiar with the side hug. However, as a 30 year old professional, the 'ole side hug reached an all new level today. I had a meeting with a pastor and his wife who are friends with my father, as well as clients of mine. When it came time to leave, I gave the pastor's wife a fragile, yet full-frontal hug, then leaned toward the pastor in hte "proper" side hug position only to be awkwardly intercepted by a handshake! Ah, a handshake!!! Not even a side hug! Wow.
Omgoodness the side hugs!!! Theyre soo awkward! I hate when people give me side hugs at church and our faces bang into each others.
Another awkward one is when I extend my arms to give a full-frontal hug, and then I see their hand extended to give me a handshake…then I put my hand out to shake theirs and then they try to give me a hug..that is the weirdest thing ever!!
And this next one normally only happens if you have mothers(older women) in the church:
They give you a side hug and put their cheek out for you to kiss it, but you end up putting your cheek so they kiss it and so you guys just end up bumping cheeks..
on the subject of side hugs, well i don't see the point of hugs at all but a side hug is preferable to squishing my breasts up into Aunt Mildred's.
just sayin'
[...] a bunch of happy Christian rappers, acting all street, freestyling the merits of the non-sexual Christian Side Hug. What could be construed for a Saturday Night Live sketch is done here…….WITHOUT IRONY! [...]
It looks like there was a ping-back in an earlier comment referencing these…um…rappers, but you have to see this to believe it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_Oj0-splZw
Just remember Christians, when doing a Christian Side Hug don't let those hands drop too low. Waists are connected to hips which lead right to butt cheeks.
[...] November 20, 2009 by misplacedboy #106. The side hug. [...]
I'm christian, I have been going to Church for 20 years, because I wanted to, not because my parents went, in fact they don't even go. I have read and understood the teachings of God and follow the Bible as best as I can. But to all you 'Side Huggers' out there let me just let you in on a little secret, not everything in the bible is ment to be taken literally… The time period in which the bible was written comes from a time long passed. These rules where written so women (who were considered possessions at the time) wouldn't touch other men. The Bible also says in Deuteronomy 22:5; The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God. (King James Bible) And last time I checked lady's wore pants!
[...] the newest trend in policing typical adolescent behaviors in the name of God. It’s called the The Christian Side-Hug, and it’s here to help the devout avoid the temptation of full frontal hugging. Don’t [...]
[...] amazing video, about the “Christian Side Hug” is an amazing example of what happens when abstinence-only proponents begin to create their own [...]
[...] I also love how these fucking clowns think that rapping about side hugs instantly makes them the cool thing to do. I swear, sometimes I think they all secretly want their religions to fail. I don’t want to live in a world where people can’t hug face to face and give each other “blessing pats”. [...]
What verse in the bible is there saying you can't hug face to face?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_Oj0-splZw
hahahahaha
Gimmie that Christian side hug! That Christian side hug!
[...] that this was perhaps another member of Cross Point church, Pete turned, gave the woman a warm side hug and said, “Hey, what’s going [...]
If you want to hug something, go find yourself a dog or something… Hell, I don't even want to shake your hand and share your germs that way… Just stay out of my space… BTW, my space reaches out about as far as my *fist* will reach… Don't invade it and we'll both be the better for it…
Back when I was an evangelical Christian youth, we just hugged the old fashioned way. We did it all the time. These people have really gone too far now.
Wonder if they realize these youth conferences are used by kids as a chance to get away from their parents for a weekend so they can make out with their youth group friends or people they meet at the conference?
"I don't know the exact scripture reference" basically sums up the whole of modern mullah-evangelical Christianity.
Hi, where are the lyrics posted to this song? They should be posted somewhere!
[...] Just in case you’re stupid enough to think this video is serious – “Christian Side Hugs” are one of the most popular topics put forward on the Stuff Christians Like blog… [...]
I think this is really silly, I'm sorry. Why does mainline Christianity have to sexualize absolutely every form of human contact???
This is just one of many reasons I get embarrassed about Christianity, and I'm a Christian (though I'm not protestant, I am working towards converting to Orthodox Christianity).
And btw, my church does have a holy kiss
No, i don't think most people find frontal hugs a sinful abomination, although on some occasions maybe a little awkward. Its just a bit of exaggeration for comedic effect
You wouldn't become a Christian due to a satirical blog post about some of the funny but more comfortable ways people find to hug? Really?
What's with all the hating on side hugs and sometimes Christians in many of the recent comments? Can't people understand some exaggeration and humour when they see it? Aren't they feeling the side hug love?
this is just dumb…. hug people the way they want to be hugged, and only in appropriate situations. If your heart is pure in its intent on the hug, and you clearly communicate that, it doesn't matter your you freakin hug. Sheesh… so many uptight people here…
Chill out a bit. This post is meant to be light hearted fun and humor, not laying down the rules for anybody.
[...] Men det är vad soim ligger bakom den här fantastiska varianten på en kram: The Christian Side Hug. Det är som roliga Stuff Christians Like skriver: [...]
i am worried, if i do a full frontal hug will i goto hell? pls!!
When speaking about side hugs, I was always told to even leave six inches between us for the Holy Spirit….
Oh, sweetie, I think you missed the point. We're kind of making fun of the crazy things we do, too.
I ONLY side hug! Let me tell you why.
First off, I'm a young Christian male. One evening I went out to a friends house to meet with other young people and talk about faith issues. There were mostly other guys there and a couple of girls. We were all having a good conversation, and everyone was feeling pretty comfortable with each other. It was so great that we all kind of lost track of time. I realized that I should probably get going. Everyone stood up and started front hugging each other good-bye, even the girls. Then I front hugged this guy that I had been talking to most of the evening. It was a pretty straight forward front hug, except I noticed that he was, how do I put this, aroused "down below." It kind of brushed against my hip. I didn't really react, and it all happened so quickly. Later when I got home, I thought how odd it was that he was stimulated in that way but didn't give it too much thought. Well, next week I was over at another friend's house party, and I see the same guy out. We talked, and I casually mentioned that I had noticed his down below and made a joke about how he should keep it to himself. He laughed, and then put his hand on my arm. The next thing I knew we were making out in the bathroom. I mean, I'm not gay, and this kind of thing hasn't happened before, but that front hug really caught me off guard. From now on, I'm only side hugging.
Dear former_front_hugger,
I think you might need to take a moment and evaluate your life and your sexual orientation. If you are scared that a front hug might lead to you participating in homosexual acts, you might have to evaluate why it was that you participated in those acts. You cannot blame a frontal hug for your actions. Could it be that you are perhaps gay? I think that may be the case and I would advise you to surround yourself with people who love and support you, not matter what. Good luck to you.
Otherwise, the side hug is the most amazingly ridiculous thing I have ever heard of. I am a Christian myself and am embarrassed at what others promote and defend in the name of Christianity. The world needs to embrace God as pure love, regardless of age, sex, sexual orientation, race, or even religion. God is love!
I'm assuming that former_front_hugger was employing satire. Trying to point out the ridiculous of frontal hugging girls.
However, I prefer the side hug myself. Yes, it causes lustful problems with me. And yes, that is my fault. But, it is the truth.
This is ridiculous! If when hugging you are concerned about what body parts touch, you should not be hugging at all. If you think that way, you may want to slide your hand across the buttocks or grab a breast with that wrap around. What will be next? Everyone walk around with their eyes closed so we don't get tempted to look at each others clothed body parts?
"This is a joke right?"
Yes, it is.
As a former front hugger, I would like to add that side hugs are definitely not a joke. I repeat: not a joke.
Homophobic discussion……If perversion is the intent of 1 of the huggers, he/she shall be punished in due course. It doesn't mean he takes you with him/her. Your intent will save you. It's all about intent. Love your neighbor whether or not he/she loves themselves. Act as you feel, not as others would judge to be the way you should act.
I'm so glad this post finally has a disclaimer. It is sad that there is so many people who seem to both hate Christians and lack a sense of humour
[...] Yes, God wants us to be compassionate and kind and tender with each other. Not only that, but he wants us to love our enemies and serve our neighbors. As long as there is no body on body action. I’m talking of course about a “full frontal hug,” one of those sinful abominations where you just wrap your arms around a friend and embrace them. That’s why Christians the world over have pioneered the “side hug.” In the side hug there’s no risk of two crotches touching. Instead of face to face, you go side to side, putting your arm around the person and your hip against their’s. Still having a hard time mastering it? Pretend you’re taking a photo and you’re both looking at the camera together. The side hug, or A frame as it is also called, is safe for the whole family, friendly and above all holy. I don’t know the exact scripture reference but try the book of Psalms. (from SCL (Stuff Christians Like)) [...]
[...] the newest trend in policing typical adolescent behaviors in the name of God. It’s called the The Christian Side-Hug, and it’s here to help the devout avoid the temptation of full frontal hugging. Don’t [...]
[...] like the “Christian Side Hug,” an idea that is either a sick satire or a seriously misguided attempt at discouraging lust. In either case, the concept has [...]
this just in, one journalist has a clue…
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/chi-talk-chris...
Hahaha!!!! I love the side hug! I'm in Campus Crusade for Christ here at college, and the "side-hug" is the default hug for people who you're not sure about. "Ohh… You're not in my Bible study… You're not in my small group…I don't know you very well…I want to hug you to show the love of the body of Christ though…ohh…uh….SIDE HUG!!!" It's a great solution. Especially for those "awkward opposite-sex friendships" we all cultivate! LOVE IT!
I mean… if you're giving this side hug to someone thinking you're preventing your mind to go to those places you all consider to be that sinful (I don't see why so serious about that) than you're already thinking about sex. what's the point then? will I give someone a side hug and then be thinking "oh, this person didn't want to think about doing me while hugging me, how thoughtful". super weird people you all.