SCL

Happens a lot of Sunday mornings in church, too, specifically as “praying at non-believers.”

Bad bad bad.

When I first got the internet in high school I’d go to the Christian chat rooms on AOL, and people would type prayers like that into the chat!!! Wow!!

It makes me crazy when the guy praying at church does his own sermon recap during the prayer. . .

I haven’t noticed this as much as I’ve noticed another phenomenon: giving God information. It’s a popular way of making sure someone’s prayed for without having to take the time to inform the group beforehand about the request. Why go through it all twice when you can save time by just shoving it all into the prayer? “Lord, we pray for So-and-So, because, Lord, she has a biopsy coming up because there’s something suspicious on that X-Ray and the doctor said he needs to get a better look and you know, Lord, they already have a lot of unpaid medical bills, and it turns out, Lord, that she might be losing her job because the company’s merging with a bigger one, as they just reported on the news tonight, and . . .”

We’re an efficient bunch, we Christians.

Gina

How about when someone uses prayer to break unpleasant news to the congregation? “Please be with our sister Betty-Lou who was in a terrible accident and is now fighting for her life on a ventilator.”

Or, better yet, for ‘holy’ gossip… er, concern, “Please be with Sue and John who separated this week.”

There’s a ton of weird stuff Christians do when they pray. I knew a guy in Ireland that only prayed in the King James Language. Weird. I have a younger friend (he’s about 20) who’s in seminary right now and he always seems to be trying to impress people with his prayers. His tone changes, he breaks out words like propitiation, he gets VERY passionate and starts preaching at God. Weird.

I agree wholeheartedly. I hear this often from me and from others, when we pray so that other people hear us, something Jesus expressly warned us not to do.

This is true whether we want to uplift each other, challenge each other, or convict each other. If these things need to happen (as they often do), they’re worth doing face to face.

so….this is wrong why??? j/k. hilarious.

Glad I found this blog.

My dad is so guilty of this. When we were younger we used to fight in the car and before we pulled off my dad would pray “Lord help us with our attitudes, and help the girls to realize its not worth fighting.” He had a good reason, but he was still totally talking to us.

Awesome post

Do this all the time. It’s never worked yet. You’d think I’d learn by now.:)

my seven year old son does this at supper to his 5 year old sister…or worse yet, back to his mom…”God, help mom to not yell at me”

Then there’s big trouble, before you know it the whole family is praying at each other in raised voices.

Help us Prodigal Jon!

I’ve gotten this one so many times from my mom over the years. Usually when I’ve been a jerk and I already know it and I’m on the verge of apologizing. But then being prayed at makes me angry again and I keep being a jerk.

The moral of the story is that praying at people backfires.

I’ve gotten this one so many times from my mom over the years. Usually when I’ve been a jerk and I already know it and I’m on the verge of apologizing. But then being prayed at makes me angry again and I keep being a jerk.

The moral of the story is that praying at people backfires.

I have to stifle a laugh when the pious pray-er accidentally switches pronouns in mid-prayer and starts speaking right *to* us *about* us!

And yeah…the gossip under the guise of prayer thing…bad bad bad, as bernard says.

It always drives me crazy when people use “father God” as prayer filler words. You know, like we say “and uh” or “Ya know” in between every word of a conversation? Well a lot of Christians say “father God” like every other word while they are praying bit it sounds like they are saying it in place of dead air, not really telling God that He is their father.

I know, it’s bad that I notice that. Now my daughter notices it since I mentioned it to her and she really hates that I brought that to her attention.

Now you have to do one on praying in King James english. I was visiting a church this morning that uses the NIV, but when the deacon led the offertory prayer, he prayed in KJ. Took me back to my childhood….

bearcatprof

Okay, but I have to say one of the things that my mother taught me as a soon to be wife (several years ago) was that sometimes when we’re turning things over to God, it MIGHT be helpful to say it out loud so that the person (translation: your husband) knows exactly what he’s done. lol! I say this with my sincerest sarcasm!

LOL. My favorite part about this post is that you used the word “just” in your prayer. Christians like the word “just.” “Father God we just wanna lift up Ruth Johnson. She just needs your healing. Lord just be there with her.” JUST!

BTW, this blog is so funny. I found it yesterday. I’ve been reading Stuff White People Like for a couple months now and I always have to laugh, yet cringe and say “ugh we are so LAME!” and this site makes me do that too. Good work!

This is my #1 pet peeve, especially in services, but it happens all the time. A close #2 is the “say Hi to the person next to you.” I will never like that. It is SO fake, and there’s no way it helps visitors to feel comfortable. (I wonder why we do it at North Point?)

hahaha, mom used to do this all the time when we were kids. It was easier than stopping the prayer, scolding us, and then continue praying.

Bulls-eye.

Drives me nuts when it happens. Hate it even more when I’m the guilty party.

What’s really hilarious is how instead of dropping this obnoxious habit, I just get more and more subtle at it. When you step back and think about it; that the God you’re praying to is completely aware of the situation you’re praying about, as well as your true intentions – it’s ridiculously funny.

Great post-great blog.

Prodigal Jon,
I don’t know if you’ve ever read a book called 7 Confessions of a Pastor (not sure that it’s 7, but it seemed right), one of his confessions is not liking corporate prayer and he talks about a lot of the “stuff” you have on this blog as reasons why. The part of the book I read has the same spirit as this website.

Yep, I’m going to have to agree with a lot of people on this one, too. I have had a lot of people pray at me. I do not appreciate it. It’s like the chicken way of calling someone out–but then doing it in front of everyone else! So rude! If you’ve got a problem with me, tell me to my face not the whole world.

I once knew a guy who pray with you in the sunday school hall, wore air-walks, and listened to the Beatles. I know, weird.

My parents did this to us during dinner prayers: "Dear God, thank for this food we are about to eat, may you bless it to our bodies, and help Adam [my brother]with his bad attitude and help him not to steal things from his mom's wallet blah blah blah". My brother would often leave in a huff after that prayer and skip dinner. I would have done the same.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one banning Family Guy!

How about when we are praying to God and rebuke satan in the middle of the prayer?

When I was in youth group, I invited a friend along who was very openly anti-christianity (she might've only come to prove her veiws right). Needless to say, she was making challenging comments to me all night (which is fair enough I suppose, she was just being up front).
The next week two of my youthgroup leaders made a rather big deal about making 'not acting ashamed of the lord' a prayer point- and looking at me as they said it. I had no idea that I had acted that way at all, considering I'd spent the rest of the afternoon talking to her about the bible and trying to answer her questions. I felt really paranoid and wanted to know what it was I had done to make them think that. Most of all though I was upset that they hadn't just come and talk to me about it and had made me feel ashamed of myself for something I didn't know I'd done in front of everyone.
I know that they had good intentions though and that rebuking me to me might have been very difficult.

Seven years old. Saved two dimes for an after-choir sody pop from the ancient machine in the church basement. Parental OK of sody purchase received prior to said purchase. Purchase witnessed by adult male church attendee. Prayed at for squandering good money instead of putting it in the Sunday School collection basket. Terrified spindly little girl loomed over by angry grown person with face in her face offers Angry Praying At Me Man some sody pop. Angry Praying At Me Man huffs off in disgust. Informed parents, who smothered smiles and assured little sody girl of no future ambushes. A good-hearted person with a lovely, warm wife and nice kids. Just had a "duh" moment and misdirected some fervor, and was always perfectly sane thereafter to sody girl. Makes me giggle in hindsight, but it was scary and I thought I'd get smacked or something!

Totally guilty of doing this with my husband