The crock pot, a love letter.

Dear Crock Pot-

Is there anything your circle of goodness can’t deliver?

Any bounty of deliciousness you are incapable of providing?

Any warm embrace of bubbly food delightfulness you are unwilling to share?

I say no. And it is for that reason I write today. You see dear Crock Pot, I don’t find you much anymore. We’re all trying to live a little healthier, eat less dishes that look like macaroni, cheese and beef got into a street fight. So now when I go to potlucks I can’t find you among the sea of vegetable plates and organically grown sea grass burgers. I look, oh, I promise you I look, but you are nowhere to be found. No minature hot dogs swimming in mysterious red sauce, no unidentifiable stew that is the crayon color of Burnt Sienna. Somewhere you sit in a cabinet, instead of your rightful place of honor.

I keep getting emails from people that say I should write about potluck dinners. And maybe I will some day, but that feels like writing about the stadium Michael Jordan played in, instead of you, the Michael Jordan of kitchenware. The potluck dinner is just a stage, the star of the show is the Crock Pot. The spotlight was designed for you my rotund friend.

You’re so forgiving too. We can just throw something in you and completely forget about cooking for hours. Even if that meal spent an hour too long in your hot belly, it’s OK. You won’t burn it. You won’t hurt it. Your love is tender.

If there were a dish hall of fame I would nominate you. If there were an NCAA type tournament, I would pick you to win my bracket. If I ever get a book printed I might hug you tightly in my headshot for the back cover.

Forever yours,

Jon
p.s. I’m leaving for New York today so if you see a mildly sarcastic person posting silly things about us Christians whilst in an Internet Cafe near Times Square, that’s me.
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Comments

  1. Brenda says

    oh Jon, after the heavy seriousness of the post on porn, this was just the laughter stew I needed. It is so funny and so true that I think I shall print it and tape it in my cookbook.
    In the crockpot section.
    Where all the best recipes are.

    Thank you for sharing your words, my stranger/friend.

  2. Autumn says

    Right on with the “Burnt Sienna” mention! I can remember many a Sunday potluck that featured crock pot favorites.

    My suggestion is that you do a post on “Creative Actions with Praise Songs.” We all remember the youth group days where you wave your hands in the air for “Na, Na, Na na na na na,” or as in 7|22 last night, making an “O” with your arms for “OH Happy Day!” Yes, choreography to worship songs has to be listed somewhere :o)

  3. Jason Ibrahim says

    If I can continue the “Burnt Sienna” line of conversation…it also happens to be the official color of Alf’s fur, according to the Genuine Article himself.

    Do Christians like him? I dunno, but I thought I would be remiss if I didn’t mention it.

  4. Heidi W says

    I’d forgotten how much I love my crock pot. Sniff, sniff… thanks for reminding me about what is really important in life!

  5. Sara says

    As I sit here, giving my baby daughter a bottle an answering the endless questions of my toddler, our dinner is cooking away in the crock-pot. It took me about 10 minutes this morning before the kids got up to fix it. God bless the crock-pot.

    And for the record, all you potluckers and fellow lovers of crock-pot cooking, there are plenty of healthy yet tasty crock-pot recipes out there. Check out “Fix-it and Forget It Lightly,” and help Jon see his beloved crock-pot at the church dinner once again!

  6. princessofsomething says

    I LOVE my crockpot. It is my Amazing Tool of Dinner Yumminess. Without it my family would eat nothing but grilled cheese every day.

  7. Anonymous says

    I LOVE my crock pot. In fact, we usually have one crock pot meal a week.
    Children have the funniest mispronunciations. My son once asked me, “What did you say you have in your crack pot?”
    That’s been our family joke ever since!

    Love your blog!

  8. LunarWorld says

    OK, this one opens the door to the nomenclature of the potluck.

    Does anyone else know someone who is so into “not speaking evil” that they call it a potblessing? I wish I was kidding.

    Not to mention angeled eggs (God forbid we eat a deviled food).

  9. teamstrand says

    You need to visit North Dakota. We’ll have a great potluck to welcome you. The tables are covered with crockpots.

  10. Anonymous says

    Ode to Crock Pots
    by Beef Tips and the Veggies

    Take me to that place Crock!
    To that tasty place Crock!
    Where I can be with you,
    and you can make me good food.
    Wrap me in your arms!!!
    Wrap me in your arms!!!
    Wrap me in your arms!!!

  11. emilymomto3boys says

    so so true. Since when is the crockpot only good for that glorious cheese dip at football parties??

  12. Joe says

    Dearest Crock Pot,

    God sent you to provide me nourishment. Essentially, God uses you to provide me my “daily bread”.

    When the lid fell off and broke during moving, I shed a tear.

    I will forever treasure you.

    BFF, Joe

  13. Scott says

    Seriously, was there a better cooking invention of the 70′s? I think not. Esp not one still going today. I love my crockpot and I’m proud to say I learned to rely on it from my mother, clearly showing I was brought up right. ;-)

  14. LindaSueBuhl says

    Snarky comments about crock pots huh?! try this on for size dedicated crock Life is good with crockpottering. Or being a crock -this blog is renewing my faith – Christians CAN laugh.

  15. Stacey says

    You crack me! I’m not sure what potlucks you’ve been going to but mine still have crock pots! Come join us soon and enjoy the yummy goodness :o)

  16. Sandy says

    I hope no one thought this post was sarcastic, because it is all true, my friend. Long Live The Crock Pot. All hail to it’s yummy goodness.

  17. Rachel says

    Joe, I know your pain. I just broke out crock pot lid last week. Now it is being used to hold pop tarts and tea bags.

  18. dawn says

    I couldn’t have said it all better myself….I love and treasure my crock pots…actually, I own three, each with their perfect niche in my kitchen. I could not survive without them and all of my guests and kids would be sadly bereft without their bounty!

    What is that mysterious red sauce with the teenie weenies in it, anyway??

  19. BigRedHead says

    we wouldn’t survive a winter w/o the trusty crockpot, but have to say that she has been banned to the house with all our freakishly healthy friends. oh well…there’s always next winter.

  20. Dollymama says

    You must just live in the wrong part of the country. Crock Pots are loud and proud here in central KY. Come on down!

    Also, adding to the pot luck=stuff Christians like, I personally got a kick out of the churches I have known of and attended that did not want to call it a pot LUCK because, you know, luck is not Christian. They called it a Carry-In dinner. Fellowship Meal worked well for one Baptist church I used to go to as well.

    Also, I second the person who mentioned “angel eggs.” My own mother in law calls ‘em that. What a hoot. Can’t have anything devilish at the Carry In dinner, or supper, or whatever. I don’t know what these people do about Devil’s Food Cake, since Angel Food Cake is already taken….. Such a conundrum!

  21. Anonymous says

    My church broke our Daniel Fast with a pot luck full of crock pots. The best part was the announcement that said, “No pot, no luck!” Because you know folks would have come to eat without bringing anything!

  22. Valerie says

    YOU need to be the one to bring back the Crock Pot. YOU need to be the one to usher in this change, to bring pot-social-luck-blessing-fests back to their original glory. You can do it. I believe in you.

  23. Anonymous says

    “You’re so forgiving too. We can just throw something in you and completely forget about cooking for hours. Even if that meal spent an hour too long in your hot belly, it’s OK. You won’t burn it. You won’t hurt it. Your love is tender.”

    Quite possibly one of the most eloquently worded paragraphs in the history of American Literature; rivaling the Preamble, the Gettysburg Address, and the open theme to Star-Trek.

    -John Hall
    Fresno, CA

  24. Shannon says

    Amen brother! I love me my crock pot. There is nothing like coming home from work to the amazing aroma of something that took you only 5 minutes to throw together and you didn't even have to be there while it cooked.
    Too bad our Church seems to have banned potlucks. I cannot remember the last time we had an honest to goodness potluck, but I do remember that it was my first encounter with the yumminess that is split pea soup…made in a crock pot I might add.

  25. says

    I can't cook but now I'm tempted to go out and buy a crock pot just to see what my mind can come up with. "No minature hot dogs swimming in mysterious red sauce, no unidentifiable stew that is the crayon color of Burnt Sienna." I'm so hungry!!

  26. April says

    I love my crock pot! especially in the long winters up here in VT.

    as for healthy pot lucks…my theory has always been that i can eat healty at home. that's why, when i cook for a group, you get real butter, full fat everything, real sugar! real food just tastes so much better. that being said, one of my family's favorite crock pot dishes is queso dip: ground beef, RoTel tomatoes, salsa, refried beans and Velveeta. soooo not good for you, but tasty! :D

  27. Molly says

    Well. You have a book now and the crockpot is NOT on the cover. Looks like your crockpot love has faded :(

  28. Rebecca says

    Can’t cook healthy, delicious food in a Crock Pot? You just don’t know how to treat her.

    Try the “Year of Slow Cooking” blog for ideas.

  29. Nellwyn says

    I read this today for the first time. And I picked up my copy of your book and looked at the back cover. And was mildly saddened to not see a picture of you holding the crockpot. ::sigh::

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