#197. Super spiritual Christmas cards or letters.
May 2nd by JonTo the people that received our family Christmas card in 2005, please let me apologize. I shouldn’t have used that verse from the book of Joel in the card. It was depressing. It was sad. I think it was about locusts. I couldn’t help myself though. I saw that card as a platform to tell you all about my faith and what God was doing. So I wrote a really long, really intimate letter about the book of Joel. Again, my bad.
We do this sometimes, don’t we? We take something light and frivilous and put a serious layer of God sauce on it. It’s kind of like that guy we all know that really answers the question, “Hey, how are you?” when you ask him. Have you met this guy? He seems to be in the elevator a lot, at least that’s where I find him. And when you say to him, “How’s your day going?” he really answers. “My day has been good. God’s really working on my arrogance in my own marriage which has been difficult. I mean my wife and I just aren’t experiencing the type of intimacy I think we want. And my boss is starting to really push on me hard but I think she is just projecting because her mom recently had surgery on her hammer toe. Have you ever had hammer toe? It’s an interesting medical condition that seems to strike older people sometimes. I love cats although to tell you the truth, Sir MittenPaws has been acting up lately. I think he and Patricia Pussycat had a fight over the water bowl or something. I’m a Christian. Have I ever told you my favorite verse from Hezekiah?” At this point in the conversation I am using one of my keys to undo the screws on the escape door in the roof of the elevator.
Jesus didn’t share this way. He was so casual and so contextually perfect with the way he shared faith. I would have been “faithing” people with my hands left and right, like that time Oprah gave out all those cars. “You’re getting faith and you’re getting faith and you’re getting faith!” But not him. When the crowd wants to stone the woman caught in adultery he draws in the dirt casually. When he meets the woman at the well he doesn’t say, “Would you like to be covered in the power of God?” He asks her for a drink. When he met the disciples he didn’t say, “Let’s go save the world, can I get an amen?” He says, “I’ll make you fishers of men.” I love it.
That’s what I am aiming for. To witness that way and keep Christmas cards light and airy. Last year’s was a top ten list and unlike that Joel year no one said to me, “I cried when I read your Christmas card” which I think is a good thing.
Comments
For those of you who have never had “God Sauce” here’s the recipe:
1/2 c. generic ketchup
1/4 c. Country Time lemonade mix (leftover from VBS)
2 ozs. sunless tanner
just a sprinkle of baptisimal water
1 shredded bulletin insert from the pulpit committee
Vigiroulsy mix all ingredients while reciting the church by-laws. When mixture is frothy, present it to the elders to annoint with oil. Deliver to local nursing home and serve warm while singing Christmas carols.
(It’s a bit tart. Like me when I was in Bible College.)
Stacy
oh man….you have some friends of ours pegged. We dread getting their Christmas letters-one year it was “The 12 Famines of Christmas”. No lie.
loved the bathroom one too!
We had a Joel year and a few friends commented that it really helped them, to see what God was doing in some one’s life so far from there own. But I do agree there are times to just simply love and they will see Him.
i, for one, am dying to know what is so riveting about joel… please expound.
“We’re gonna save the world; can I get an amen!” Haha! It is interesting to note where Jesus uses wisdom instead of youth group type passion. I wonder if that will rub off on us eventually…
My Christmas card a couple of years ago was a photo of Mary Cheney (the VP’s daughter) and her partner, as they had just announced they were pregnant, accompanied by the verse from Luke, “How shall this be, as I have never been with a man?”
It was irreverent and my parents were horrified, but there are people who two years later still have it up on their refrigerators.
Shannon – the Mary Cheney Christmas card story cracked me up!
And I keep laughing every time I think of it.
Lets market holiday cards with odd choices of scripture, Christians (and Jews) could send Songs of Solomon Valentine’s Day cards. And Revelations . . . cards for some occasions.
The elevator story bothers me for the OPPOSITE reason that you mentioned. Perhaps you could add #198, “Pretending to care about people we really don’t care about.”
Why do we ask people how they’re doing if we don’t care for the answer? If it’s just a greeting, why don’t you just say, “Hi”?
I only bring this up because I act like you, too. I get irritated when people want to tell me their life story. But then I stop and think, “Why does this bother me so much? What am I doing that is so important that I can’t stop for a minute and love this person by listening to their story about their cats?”
GREAT blog btw. Keep up the good work!
I agree with Peapod 4. Shannon’s Chirstmas card will bless my whole day.
Then there are the super braggy Christmas letters. A person I know kept getting Christmas letters from a close family memeber going on and on about vacations, achievements, purchases, social engagements, etc. in great detail. He responded by sending this one year… (Names have been changed to protect the guilty)
Holiday Greetings!
It’s been another year. We would like to update everyone on what is new with the Smith family.
Our kids had quite a year. Lauren, our oldest daughter and our son Mark both go to school at 8:30 AM and stay until 3:30 P.M. During the middle of the day they have lunch. Betsy goes to kindergarten some days, and stays at home on other days. Billy stays home for the most part but goes to preschool some days. After school, they play or read books until dinner. Then they eat dinner, do homework and go to bed.
All of them had birthdays this year. We have a tradition where we buy them presents and have a cake and ice cream.
Kristen has been very active. Kristen wakes up in the morning and does things all day long. On different days, and different times of the year, she does different things. This keeps her busy.
Brad has kept busy this year also. He goes to work. His job starts after breakfast and lasts until just before dinner. He usually works Monday through Friday.
The summer was extremely eventful. The sun came up towards the East, shone all day, then went down towards the West. Some days it rained.
This year we had a vacation. We decided to take a trip. The whole family went out of town. We stayed at a motel and visited places that we had never seen before. Later we came home.
On Thanksgiving our family got together. We cooked a turkey, and had other things like potatoes, gravy, stuffing, and pumpkin pie.
We look forward to Christmas. This tradition is very similar to birthdays except we have a tree instead of cake and ice cream.
Best wishes for your family in the next year. We will keep you updated on all the important and exciting things that our family does during 2004. Hope to hear about all of your exciting events as well!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Love,
Kristen, Brad, Lauren, Mark, Betsy, Billy, & Ike the dog
Hmmm, sounds like I may have sent you a card or two over the years. I don’t live in the US though.
That brings me to another topic, which I will refrain from sharing. Since you don’t want to hear about it.
I prefer Lamentations to Joel, though. Maybe this year you can have a top ten laments list on your card.
I do find your blog informative. A bit Wikapedia-esh. Not that wikapedia isn’t accurate (rolls eyes), I’m really not sure why the schools in the UK won’t allow it as a source for research papers…
Well, thank you for sharing a really long story of why you don’t want to know what is going on in my life. Perhaps I actually shouldn’t have posted this… or just said ‘hi’.
Hi
Lucy
hilarious! PJ, I think you would do very well on the Twitter
Get the Depends. I’m gonna wet myself over the Christmas letter.
I usually put God Sauce on whatever I’m sending, but always wonder if it’s too much. Is “May God bless you on your birthday!” too much? Does it depend on who you’re talking to?
I want the people I’m sending cards to who I know don’t know God to know that I believe in Him and I want them to and I want Him to bless them in spite of their disbelief. I hope “Have a blessed birthday” isn’t too much, but I feel like I got to throw some of that sauce on ‘em when I can, because I fear they won’t get any anywhere else. You feel me?
Hey! I named my blog for that passage in Joel 2! Lay off!
Seriously, though…I’ve got to take some exception with your wanting everything to be “light and airy.” Jesus’ leaving glory to come here and become flesh–which for Him was a little like as if we were to condescend to becoming a cockroach–and then the bloody, humiliating death He submitted Himself to…that is heavy stuff. It’s a matter of life and death kind of stuff.
Grafted-
Thanks for the feedback. And good deal on naming your blog after Joel. It’s a good book. I said I would “keep Christmas cards light and airy.” You said I was suggesting that we keep “everything light and airy.” There’s a huge difference between “Christmas Cards” and “Everything.” My cocaine testimony post was hardly light and airy.
Jon
I once got a Christmas card that said on the front, “He was born to die.”
I’m not disputing the theology of that statement, but my husband and I had a laugh over the juxtaposition of the uber-serious card with a fun family Christmas letter on the inside (on letterhead bordered with candy canes, snowmen, and gingerbread men).
Oh, wait – I guess Frosty was born to die, too…maybe it fits after all…
Haha. Hezekiah.
I can’t believe I’m the only one who’s commented or caught that! I feel like I should get a medal or a trophy. Not.
Christianna
Christianna -
Well played, well played indeed. You do deserve a medal.
Jon
Mmmmmmm… God sauce. /drool/
Mmmmm… God sauce. /drool/
this reminds me of an emergent church book i read, where the guy was trying to encourage ppl to strip their vocabularies of Christianeese. that is certainly helpful, but it would be terrible if we lose the divine viewpoint on our lives, and i think that if we stop talking about the Lord’s viewpoint we’re more likely to stop thinking about it, too. i see your point, but i think we have to be careful. ok enough seriousness, ‘traveling mercies’? psalty? tankinis? not accepting compliments? breaking up after retreats/Bible school? i can relate to so much here…
I’m with Matt on this one. If you don’t want to know how I am, don’t ask me!
I pass people at work all day, every day, and the “norm” is to say “What’s up” or “Hi! How are you?”, but no one ever slows down when they ask that question. They just keep walking.