#332. That dude with the guitar at camp.
Jul 7th by Jon
Put it down dude. Seriously, you know who you are. I went to camp with you. I went on a lot of church retreats with you. And some how, you even ended up living on the same floor as me freshman year of college.
I get it, you own an acoustic guitar. You put stickers of bands I have never heard on the outside of your guitar case. You have an interesting guitar strap. You are moody and introspective and somehow when you combine that guitar with the three songs you know and a campfire, every girl on the planet wants to sit near you. Are you kidding me?
Back when I was in high school you knew the simple chords to Poison’s song, “Every rose has it’s thorn,” and Bon Jovi’s “Bed of Roses.” But I have to believe the newer version of you has updated the material. What are you singing now, Coldplay’s “Yellow” or maybe Dashboard Confessional’s “Screaming Infidelities?” Maybe you are doing something by the Jonas Brothers now or Maroon 5? What, you’re actually singing U2’s song, “One?” You are killing me.
I know what you are doing. You have brilliantly found a way to carry around the thing you are best at. (And I use the word “best” loosely.) I am very jealous. What if painting was the thing I was best at? Would it be OK if I just started carrying around a canvas and an easel and then when girls said, “Do you know how to paint?” I could casually reply, “Oh, this thing? I guess I forgot I had it with me.” Or maybe I was really good at pottery and could carry around a kiln and a wheel like in the movie Ghost. Because that’s what you do. You pretend that you just happened to have the guitar with you. Like the whole thing was just accidental. I know it’s not though. I know.
Your instrument isn’t even in tune but that doesn’t matter does it dude with the guitar? Because it’s more about the image, not the music. And what really gets me is that you’re going to play a song at youth Sunday this year and people are going to tell you that you should be a worship leader. Hearing that is going to make you start wearing product in your hair and rocking a white belt and when I walk to class at college you’ll be sitting on the steps of our dorm with a girl that is way too pretty to talk to me singing, “How great is our God.” And when she asks you, “Where did you learn to play like that?” You’ll respond by saying, “I just listen to my heart.” You are my archenemy dude with the guitar at camp.
I am going to steal your guitar and replace it with those big hand bells and the white gloves that handbellers (or is it just ‘bellers’) wear. Let’s see how easy it is to get girls to go on dates to Outback Steakhouse when all you have to play is a gigantic bell.
Comments
I'm a dude that plays guitar, except it has the oposite effect, seeing I play in dropped tunigs all the time. hmmm. And I hate playing acoustic guitar in the open, it makes me feel awkward and trying hard to impress, which I hate the feeling of.
I really hate this guy too, spesh when he only plays the same song. I was at a split night once (guys go one place, girls go another), and there was a guitar out, and I swear four guys all had a turn at the guitar playing THE EXACT SAME SONG INTRO, OVER AND OVER. I mean, come on, it wasn't even that great a song as well.
hilerious man, my boyfriend was one of these guys but could actually play so that's not quite this guy…But I see this type at every Christian festival. Why do us girls fall for them constantly?
There is of course one guy that Guitar Dude can't compete with … and that is Djembe Guy… fear me Guitar Dude … I own you …
I was that guy.
I was humbled when I met my wife, and when I told her I played guitar, she said, "all guys play the guitar." Pretty funny.
baha~ thats so funny! i totally saw that guy at camp! the girls always crowded him, so i never got a good seat *cough* :}
This is my first time to read your blog! So so so good! I'm glad I started my morning with this.
There were a few guys like this on EVERY youth group trip ever. It seemed that our worship pastor required one or three of the guys to bring their guitars so they could "lead worship". Leading worship was fine…but it was at the campfire at night, playing those worship songs in a closer setting, that the girls came to flock. I was one of those girls for one summer. Then I just sang because I loved to. The guitar dudes will never leave.
Guitar Guy is lucky – he's perceived as sensitive and caring and hott. Guitar Girl is not so lucky – everybody just assumes that she's probably a lesbian.
I would know.
In addition to all aforementioned appearances, Guitar Dude assumes that beautiful sunsets at the beachfront park will be made all that much more perfect by adding his perfect soundtrack (often teaming up w/ Djembe Dude, and Digs Her Own Vocals Girl). He assumes you feel the same, and will sing loud enough to drown out any thought you might have to the contrary…
I think half the people at my youth group fit this description. x]
that is quite hilarious
… but get over it and learn some guitar 
I have some friends like that- one of them is now in a semi popular atlanta area band. I remember one weekend, a bunch of folks were at his house, and he as usual decided to make it known that he needed some air and went to the font porch to begin playing his boring guitar crap so girls would come sit and swoon. and he did. and they did. and then, my friend josh, who's not one of those guys at all, decided he'd set up an experiment. he got out his banjo, on which he proceeded to pump out incredible music like nobodies business. and just as we suspected, the girl herd came our way. we knew they would. and so as soon as they did, josh just put the banjo up and we went back inside. and they were left wondering what to do… well until "i'll sing as my guitar gently weeps" man started playing and singing again (because he stopped playing earlier when the girls left his side). What a jerk. we referred to him as "the trail of tears".
Great post, I enjoyed reliving that story in my mind.
Hey, that's not fair. I'm most definitely that dude with the guitar, but I only abuse it when I'm feeling weak. You don't know the joy it is to be able to stop engaging socially, stop listening to what people are saying, while simultaneously stealing the spotlight and making many be impressed by you.
I've found that on road trips, the ukulele is much smaller and more convenient for playing while in the car, although fingerstyle ukulele arrangements can be tricky to figure out.
One of my favorite "crossover" experiences as the dude with the guitar was late at night at my secular college dorm. There were 10-15 students sitting around in a lounge, and I led them in the closest thing I've ever experienced to a secular worship session. I would play nice little intros to the songs, say the first line before we started, and we all would sing out at the top of our longs the lyrics to John Mayer, Blink 182, and Beatles songs. Oh the street cred that won me.
But I am careful. I know somewhere in that crowd, there were some guys only half-singing along. They knew my tricks, they didn't think it was fair. They were watching, waiting for their chance to actually engage in meaningful conversation with their peers again. So as I smiled and crooned at them, I carefully decided that that probably would be my last song.
HAHAHA! This is the greatest article I've read in quite some time. I go to Oral Roberts University, and it seems that guys here prey on this concept more than anywhere else.
They'll sit under the wings of the girl's dorms and "serenade" the women on Saturday mornings. I've often contemplated stashing water balloons by my window and hitting them as soon as they start. I once even saw a guy walking and singing on the main walkway from the parking lot to the dorms. I shook my head and wondered if he was actually planning on getting a girl that way.
I love this article!
Oh, being the "girl with the guitar" and only bringing it to camp when I am expecting to be playing for worship… I have no ulterior motives of having the girls all fall for me. (I'm sure everyone is thankful for that.) Strangely, at my camp none of the girls ever go goo-goo for the guys with the guitar… wait, except for the 5th and 6th graders. My brother was the counselor with the guitar this year and it was the first time he had any girls crushing on his… too bad they were eight years younger then him.
Now, as a guitar player and songwriter myself, I think I have the vaccine against those 3 songs guys that only look holy. Yet, give me a genuinely talented musician who really loves God, then it's typically an instant friendship. At least we have something to talk about, whether it's about orchestra arrangements or the philosophy behind songwriting or about Switchfoot or the Beatles… I'm all music.
very, very funny stuff
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