Always sitting in the same seat at church

My dad started a Southern Baptist Church in New England. And according to bylaw 67.8.B of the Southern Baptist Convention, “a pastor and his punk kids have to sit in the same seats every Sunday, preferably stage right, first row if at all feasible given the architecture of the church in question.” It’s weird that the convention made a point of saying “punk kids” in the official bylaw, but trust me, it was a phrase well deserved.

But even though I’m longer under the watchful eye of my folks, I find myself sitting in the same section at church every week. I go to a massive church so it’s not that I only have a few spots to sit in. I have literally thousands of seats to choose from. But I sit within the same three rows, week after week, month after month. Why do I do that?

I have a few theories.

1. The Santa Claus Theory
Kids at Christmas sometimes get afraid that Santa Claus won’t be able to find them if they go out of town for the holidays. Like maybe Santa doesn’t know where Aunt Maude’s house is and will show up where Timmy is 364 days a year and finding him not home will head back to the North Pole without delivering his presents. Maybe we think the same thing will happen with God. We’ve connected with Him before in seat 4 in the front middle row and if we move to the balcony one Sunday we’re afraid God will show up to our old seat and say, “Whoa, you’re not Mark. My bad. Where is Mark? This is his seat. Weird. I guess he doesn’t want this blessing. Adios.”

2. The Scoot Theory
One of my top five days ever was spent riding scooters around on Martha’s Vineyard with my friends. The scooters were called “Cobras” so we rode with our helmets and our little “meep meep” horns waving to Harley riders all day. We pretended we were the Cobra Kai from the Karate Kid move and yelled things like “there is no pain in this dojo!” But despite how much I loved that day, I realize we looked like complete dorks. It’s nearly impossible to look cool on a cheap scooter. And it’s not random coincidence that the thing somebody that comes late to church asks you to do so they can take your seat is to “scoot.” Scooting over is the worst. You’ve got all your stuff out – bible, notebook, coffee cup, laminated numbers that indicate which kids belong to you in Sunday school, etc. You’re not in a seat. You’re in a dorm room. And then here comes “I completely forgot that for the last 7 years church has started at the exact same time” dude and he wants you to scoot. So you have to either find a section to sit where late people can’t get to you, like the front row. Or form a death grip on your seat and just shake your head “no” when someone asks you to move. Or you could just scoot over and love your neighbor by being gracious. I guess that would work too.

3. The Visitor Identification Theory

At small churches, maybe people sit in the same seat so that it’s easy to identify the visitors and show them some love. For instance, if you know that the first row, third seat down is affectionately known as the “Larry Shaw” because Mr. Larry Shaw has sat there for fourteen years straight, when a fresh faced young man sits there one Sunday, you’ll know he is a visitor.

4. The Clear Line of Sight Theory
I don’t know what happened, but last Sunday my wife and I found ourselves in a forest of giants at church. We must have missed our normal section by a row or two because there were about a dozen sermon blockers forming a wall on every side. During worship, I couldn’t really see the stage or the video screens that well and thought I would be forced to watch a reflection of Andy Stanley off the forehead of the sweaty scalped man in front of me. Maybe that happens to other people too. You realize where in the sanctuary you can see well, factoring in things like angle to worship, visibility of pastor, visual access to the baptismal, possible cameraman obstacles etc. And then, on a piece of graph paper or perhaps an engineering program like AutoCAD, plot out your best possible seat. Then you sit there for the next 30 years.

I know that being anal about where you sit at church isn’t the greatest way to welcome visitors, but as I confessed, my wife and I hang out in the same area every Sunday at church. It’s not because of any of the theories above. We figured out the perfect spot for seeing the stage and making a lightning fast exit to get our kids after it’s all over. The avalanche of parents trying not to be the “guy that was last to pick up his kid” is 2 fast and 2 furious. (You’ve just witnessed my last reference to that art film, which seems as good a place as any to end a post.)

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Comments

  1. Oslerfamily says

    God speaks Spanish, yes, yes, of course he does. Hey I thought you were taking Sundays off. You are so much like me. Sunday night means Sunday is over,so you can post as Sunday night- which is really almost Monday and that way you don’t miss the next day, right?
    Adios

  2. Joanna says

    For me, its that i’m consistently running late and its usually the same ones that are still free each week.

  3. JennyM says

    I like to sit close enough to be noticed by the cool kids and far enough back to nod off without Old Man in the Pulpit noticing. Actually, we usually sit close to the front so I can scoot up to the choir when needed. And my husband has a bad case of “needtositclosefornoreason”.
    We have a section for parents who like to not put their kids in the nursery. Which is totally fine, since my youngest had really bad pre-mee lungs and literally ended up the the hospital if some other kid in the nursery had a little cough. But there are some people who insist on sitting there and tsk-ing and eye rolling at these young parents who have fussy kids. EVERYONE knows it’s the chatty section and darn it, bring some crayons or go sit with the other people who pay for their pew space.

    I love it when we have visitors who clearly have no idea who has raised their ancient family flag and marked their territory!!!
    “I claim this pew for my Queen and all of England!!! Oh, and my wife Velma who won’t sit near Lurleen McGinchy”.
    Then the looks on the faces of the kids when dad tells them to scoot down!! HA!

    We once visited Marin County and an old lady MADE my brother and I sit on either side of her and snuggle in all nice and close, because she was cold. I thought my mother was going to BURST she was so amused.

  4. vanilla says

    No. Because my loving wife believes that the anointing drops geometrically in direct proportion to the distance from the platform.
    Also she wants the preacher to be able to eyeball me lest I fall asleep and embarrass her.

  5. Hannah says

    I can’t believe you are such a heathen that you rush out of service to pick up your children instead of enjoying sweet fellowship with your brethren in Christ. And don’t you know that God doesn’t want you to be focusing on those video screens during worship anyway? You should be looking straight into your precious Lord’s face. The glory is not to go to the band, Jon; it’s all for Him. I’ll bet you hate the homeless, too. Why don’t you put in your earbuds and listen to some of that thug music by Young Jeezy while you’re at it, you irreverant person, you?

  6. Meggers says

    I remember always caring about sitting in the “cool section”…kinda like the whole “cool van” idea in youth group. Same thing here. You don’t want to get stuck with a bunch of 13 year old boys whispering about how awesome they are at Rock Band, or that really awkward college guy who ALWAYS wears shorts and knee high socks….it’s all about location.

  7. Paul says

    Jon, your very first post after writing this “But for the most part, I’m not going to post new stuff on Sundays anymore. I’m going to try to rest and not be worried about what I might miss but instead be happy about what I already have” came on Sunday.

  8. sara says

    Growing up, the youth group of our church took the back row or two as their own. We’d sit in the back or – more often than not – start to get up and roam around. The high school boys were particularly bad about goofing around and being a general distraction. This all went on until one day the pastor said, “Enough!” and laid down an ultimatum that the youth would now be sitting in the front row where he could keep an eye on them…a ruling that became a tradition until now, 12 years or so later, that’s still where the youth sit, even though everyone originally affected by it has moved on, gotten married, and are bringing their their own children to church now.

  9. Anonymous says

    I think we sit in the same place so all the other people who sit in the same place (and the pastor) will see us in the same place and know we aren’t church-skipping heathen.

    Aside from that, being so far above such antics, I sit wherever the usher seats our family because we’re late.

    The scooting is called Tetris … Christians are notoriously bad at filling worship holes on Sunday mornings.

    michelle

  10. Hucklebuck says

    Here in the South, it’s pronounced “scootch”. Used in a sentence: “Scootch over before you tump over our canoe.” Just a little lagniappe for your Monday morning.

    Side drops and leg hugs,
    Huck

  11. €urtis Honeycutt says

    True story: this weekend our church opened up a spankin’ new auditorium. I arrived later than usual and the only seats left were in the side sections. Whenever our pastor walked to the side of the stage, the camera shot on the video screen had me sitting there in the background. It was SO distracting! Next time I’m bringing a poster board that says “John 3:16″. Or just get there on time. It was really distracting.

    I like sitting on the second row, because I get easily distracted. Oh look, a bird

    just wallpaper

  12. K Storm says

    “During worship, I couldn’t really see the stage or the video screens that well and thought I would be forced to watch a reflection of Andy Stanley off the forehead of the sweaty scalped man in front of me”

    This had me rolling!!

    I will never forget many years ago visiting a church and sitting in someone’s seat…then having to hear her complain to someone behind us that her seat was taken. I had no idea there were assigned seats.

  13. Paul Wilkinson says

    Christian comedian Chonda Pierce enshrined this concept with her first album, “Second Row, Piano Side” which was probably her best and is sadly now out of print.

  14. Mike and Rachel says

    When you go to a large church and sit in the same area you start to grow in community with the people you have to greet. It cuts down on too many germs from unknown hands, you can check out people’s singing voice to make sure they all sound good (or are at least drowned out by the speakers, and the escape path of course. Great post, like always!

  15. The Amiable Atheist says

    I went to a small Baptist church and one Sunday my mom decided she wanted to mix it up a bit and sit somewhere else. But then two little old ladies came up to us looking confused and said, “That’s where we sit.” They made us move.

    So it wasn’t only habit for some people. Apparently sitting somewhere else was just out of the question for them.

  16. tarajackson says

    I have to admit something.

    I usually sit in the first chair of the second row on the right side of our church. Yesterday, a man put his Bible on MY chair laying claim to the ENTIRE row for his huge family. Well, God forgive me, but I moved his Bible one row back while he wasn’t looking.

    Does that make me a bad Christian? Is the Worship Eagle going to come after me next Sunday?

    :)

  17. Angie says

    I sit in the front row so I can see and hear everything. I hate trying to peek through heads. Plus, the farther back I am, the harder it is to pay attention.

    In reference to an earlier post, my church just announced some changes in the kids ministry. This included new names. Now the high school ministry has a boys only night called ‘Manfest’ and a girls only night called….

    wait for it…

    ‘That Time of the Week’! LOL

  18. Leanne says

    My husband and I only get to be in the adult service about twice a year, but on those Sundays we like to sit in people’s regular spots (it’s sad when even the children’s pastor who never SEES the adult service knows which spots are people’s “regular” spots!) on purpose, and then be amused by the panicked looks on their faces.

    I can almost read their thoughts (with apologies to all the great stream of consciousness writers!): “Oh, no – where are we going to sit today. I could ask them to move – no, wait, they’re the children’s pastors – that would be rude. So now what? Could I…do I dare to…no, that’s impossible…but if I want to attend church today, I guess I don’t have a choice…I hear the band playing…the Tomlin-curious worship leader is stepping up to the platform…I really want to be sitting down before Brother Smith comes up and gives me a sidehug…oh, what the heck? I’m taking the plunge…I’m going to…sit ONE ROW BEHIND MY USUAL SPOT!”

    Yes, I’m easily amused. I need to get out more!

  19. becki says

    This bleeds over to the church bus. When we were raising funds for a new bus, we had a “buy a seat” fundraiser. It backfired. A senior citizen, who has gone on to glory, bless her pea-pickin’ heart, would get on the bus to go to Ridgecrest with the Senior Adults and yell at anyone sitting in “HER SEAT” loudly exclaiming “I BOUGHT THAT SEAT, IT’S MINE, NOW MOVE”… bless her heart…

  20. Nick the Geek says

    It is my mission in life to mess up everyone’s seating. It started on accident when I was first asked to preach at this church. I made the mistake of sitting in the pastor’s wife’s spot. It is the sanctioned place to sit before you preach so I got to church early to pray and then sat in the place of anointing like a batter on deck. I was hoping the worship team would get some nice singles to get the bases loaded so I could knock one out of the park. Wow that sounded terribly conceited. That’s what happens when you start with the baseball analogies though.

    I might post about some of the other things that I have done with seating on my blog sometime. It would take up way too much room on your blog.

  21. Katie says

    We usually sit in the same section so that all of our other single friends can find us after the lights are out. No one likes sitting by themselves. :-)

  22. Ben says

    where to sit…

    as a single guy I loved sitting on the front row of my church, for the simple fact that I love all those people singing into the back of my head… it gives me free reigh to sing as loud as I want without feeling like “that guy.”

    The first day my wife (then fiance) and I visited a church, I marched down front, and sat. She was mortified. She felt people’s eyes in the back of her head. Their singing voices only made it worse.

    Needless to say, we had found a compromise, of sorts. But then we had a kid 3 months ago. Totally changes things. Now she needs to be able to make it all the way out of the sanctuary before little guy gets to full blast. So our new spot is on an aisle, near the back. And I am now officially “that guy” who sings really loud in the back.

  23. Stacy from Louisville says

    TaraJackson,
    That was my husband’s Bible you moved. At first we were confused because we couldn’t find other seats. But eventually we found a nice comfy spot…at the Mormon church down the street.

  24. LeLe says

    This post is so timely because a visiting family was sitting in my family’s usual spot yesterday. So, we went up to the balcony. My sister-in-law and I decided that it would be rude to tell them they were in “our” spot. Haha. Oh, and I hate the “sermon blockers”. I’m 5’3″ and inevitably, someone who is 6’5″ will sit in front of me.

  25. Beth says

    In the church I grew up in, my parents had “laid claim” to a particular pew in our very large sanctuary. It was on the left most section of pews (looking towards the front) about halfway up, on the outside of the pew. I don’t remember the original reasons they sat there, but there were some very specific reasons they stayed. First, I need to explain that this church is a big old historic brownstone building with a round sanctuary with a huge domed ceiling – drafty in winter and not air conditioned. So, they stayed in their chosen pew because:

    1. It was right next to the radiator, thus warm in winter.

    2. It was in the path of one of the four giant fans, thus cooler in summer.

    3. My dad was an usher for many years, and it allowed him to slip in and out of his seat as needed without disturbing anyone else.

    4. Fewer people sat on that side, and since no one in our family is tall, we could all see better.

    5. My dad was very shy and he liked to sit near people he knew so he didn’t have to do the awkward “small talk” thing with strangers.

    6. Because of the wacky way the sound system was set up, you could hear better there than the middle seats down front.

    7. As my dad’s health began failing, he was exposed to fewer people, and thus germs to get sick from by sitting farther away from the crowd.

    It could be argued that some of these reasons are not necessarily very Christian, but as this church went through some unfortunate changes in its ministries, my folks took comfort in this small piece of normality every Sunday.

    Also, I think that human beings in general tend to be creatures of habit. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this as long as we can be gracious to those around us and willing to be flexible to accommodate the newcomers and visitors.

    It is very funny how possessive and territorial we can get about such a little thing, though.

  26. gillietice says

    I think I sit in the same seat for the same reason I always use the same bathroom stall in a public bathroom, park in the same spot outside the grocery store, take the same route to work, put all my stuff in the same shelf in the refrigerator at the office, hang my clothes in color order (ROY G BIV), and have to clean off my desk every time I finish one thing and get ready to move on to the next. I think they call it “obsessive compulsive.” Or just afraid of change.

  27. Nick the Geek says

    @jennym,

    all 4 of my kids were premeeies. My son was the earliest at 30 weeks. He was never hospitalized but we had him on the nebulizer constantly for the first couple of years. Both of my daughters had to spend time in the hospital because people like to drop their sick kid off in the nursery despite the signs asking you to keep your kids if they have a runny nose, cough, fever … I know how it feels to get “the look” when your baby cries because the preacher shouted.

  28. bridget says

    I feel the need to say–I went to a new church this weekend and saw the table and barstool combo for the very first time. I was shocked at the stealth of the stagehands who brought it out–it wasn’t even during prayer, and I still was completely awestruck when I looked down from the sermon-series-introducing video on the jumbotron to see a pastor perched on a tall chair. I might have gasped, and the friend I had gone to church with gave me a funny look as if to say, “what? Your pastor doesn’t have a coffee table? Ottoman? Park bench? Nothing??”

  29. Ranee says

    Dear Jon,

    Do you dread reading letters? Or does the spelling of your name offer you some relief?

    Anyway, I have given you an award on my blog. I’ve been enjoying your humor, and wanted to spread the laughs.

  30. Jason says

    The last church I was at in VA assigned the usher/greeters to a certain section in the auditorium (2200 seats) each week and always the same section. The thought was that they would get to know the people that sit there and would note when someone new was there. They would be intentional about making sure the new people got a friendly hello and help with any questions. It was amazingly successful. People are creatures of habit.

  31. dean says

    i always thought this was a senior citizen issue, until my first sunday as youth minister at one particular church. about 5 minutes after i sat down in what i thought was a pretty nondescript pew, a COLLEGE GIRL walked up to me and told me to get out of her seat. i did that day, but i sat in it every sunday after that.

  32. bub says

    OUR seats are located in the very back, two to the right off the middle aisle. Unbelievably, the same 9 or 10 people sit back there every week, with maybe a couple of interlopers thrown in for good measure. It’s like having your own little “back o’ the church” gang. At first, it was cuz I was scared to sit any closer to someone talking about Jesus than I had to. Now I’d probably move up to the front but I’d miss the gang. Oh, I also work saturday overnight and sometimes am on the verge of serious nodding during the service. Sitting in the back I can stretch out and not feel so bad if I accidentally nod off for a sec.

  33. Paul Wilkinson says

    Stacy from Louisville,

    I have some Mormon friends in Louisville who couldn’t worship on Sunday because their church was full so they went to the mandir.

  34. Lark says

    What about migratory patterns?

    I used to sit on the left side of the church with the college students, then I moved forward on the same side once I got married. But then I had to go all the way to the front row/right side when my husband was hired on the staff. Now that he’s also in charge of college ministry I wonder if we’ll get to move back to the college side?

    If you have more than 4 kids you get your own row. Now there’s something to strive for!

  35. Stacy from Louisville says

    Paul,
    They probably went to the Hindu temple because my husband and I took their seats. But rest assured. If they get displaced from the Hindu temple (which is practically in my back yard) there’s a Jehova’s Witness meeting hall a few miles away. See? Hope springs eternal.

  36. stan says

    I was always the one who came in late, but I had my own “secret” seat in the back, on the rarely-used stairs leading up to the balcony. Nobody knew I was there, and I had a perfect angle to see the pastor, provided he didn’t walk too far to the left or right.

  37. drew says

    Wait, so you want a CLEAR line of sight from you to the preacher? I usually want it to be as obstructed as possible. If I fall asleep or make jokes about him during the sermon I don’t want to get caught.

    But seriously, people need to chill out about the whole reserved seating thing. I don’t care if you’ve sat there every Sunday for 20 years, it’s still open to all, and if someone does sit in “your” seat, just take it as a sign that you should either sit next to them and meat them, or move to another row and meat people there.

  38. drew says

    OOps…typo in that prior comment, that should be meet, not meat….though people handing out meat in church might not necessarily be a bad thing.

  39. Beth says

    This very subject came up yesterday at church when I was chatting with some first timers. They sat down in the row directly behind me (my usual seat, 3rd row first seat) and started chatting with each other. They were trying to decide whether or not to stay because they’re typically 3rd rowers and had to sit in the fourth row. Made me chuckle! I turned around, introduced myself, and told them that they shouldn’t even think about ever taking my third row spot! It’s mine. I’ve broken in the chair cushions just so, and the box of tissues is always on the floor right in front of me. Just kidding, I actually offered my seats to them and then we struck up a great and funny conversation about how we’re such creatures of habit. They were really nice people and if they come again next week I’m going to make sure to sit in row two so that they can have row three. It’ll be tough, but I think I’ll make it through!!

  40. Kat says

    dude, ever since my church GOT a balcony, (we have a 150 year old church that needed expansion) my spot has been the first row, first seat to the right of the aisle…..and then my friends and I have a backup if its taken, the left side of the aisle…

    I mean, when we were teenagers, we always took the back of the back of the (old) balcony, but that was soon taken over when we moved away to college….

  41. Avian says

    Hilarious you should post this today, when a couple sat where my hubby and I usually sit. In the front row, right in front of the Pastor. Then, he proceeded to rub her shoulders the entire time, with her giving instructions on where to rub next coming at the most inopportune times during the sermon. *Sigh* I should know better than to be a little late and miss such coveted seats.

  42. L.C.T. says

    Yup yup. I and my students (I’m a student worker) usually occupy the same chunk of church each week. When they’re back home in holidays that section is a tad on the empty side…!

  43. momonthejourney says

    Just this week a group sat in our regular row at church, but it was okay because as a choir member I was required to sit in a back section that day. So we stole someone else’s seats.

    Next week we might sit on a WHOLE NOTHER SIDE, since our kids’ area has moved. Negotiations between the three couples in our little gang have already begun. Pray for “unity of spirit.” After this post, I realize that a lot is riding on this.

  44. MeganB says

    Hey I visited North Point this weekend! I am from Ohio, but we had a leadership retreat :)

    I actually commented that everyone seemed SO tall. I’m glad you noticed too!

  45. Chelsea says

    I do the opposite of #4. Our worship pastor distracts me, so I always plant myself behind the tallest person I can find. That way I can truly worship (but also see the lyrics on the screen).

  46. Kim Ballor says

    I sit in pew 5 each week because it is the only place that the phone programming, mail sorting, coloring book coloring Mother with the daughter who sits on her boyfriend’s lap has not followed me.

  47. le cas de la valise says

    amazing.

    i love this stuff…

    the longer you go without a book deal, the longer a major injustice is being commited.

  48. Mary says

    Love this! We hang out in the same area just because…. well I don’t really know. So all our friends can find us? How’s that for a spiritual answer? I will say this I don’t leave a cushion in the pew (which I assume is to deter the random visitor from sitting there). I think it would be fun to move all the little homemade personal this-is-my-seat-so-don’t-sit-here cushions up about five rows and just sit back and watch the show. Of course, I may get run out of church for even considering that…. ::grin::

  49. Linda says

    Alrighty–MY family is SO cool that we actually HAVE our pew in our home now. That’s right! The big ‘ol wooden one we sat in all growing up now is officially ours. When the church purchased new seating, everyone was given the opportunity to “buy” their family pew. What a legacy we’ve got now Memories of getting the stink eye from my mom, flicked by my brother, gum stuck under the pew for next week…just kidding!
    GREAT POST!!!

  50. Seda says

    I once attended a small Christian Science church in South Dakota. We all felt so lucky to have a professional opera singer in the congregation! Her voice was beautiful, and it carried all the hymns – covered up any mistake you might make, and just made them wonderful.

    One day a couple of kids maybe ten years old sat in front of her. When she started to sing … they looked over their shoulders at her and covered their ears!

  51. Gina Marie says

    So true. There is a little old American veteran who attends our church here in Singapore, and he sits in the front row on the left, just off the middle aisle. He usually comes shuffling in a few minutes late, always wearing the same white suit, and people know enough not to sit in his seat.

    If there is someone silly enough to do so, he has no qualms about waving them over with a look that says, “If I were not pushing 100 years old, I would take you down for this infraction.” I’ve seen people innocently sit there without knowing him, and think to myself, “I hope you aren’t too attached.”

  52. Ed says

    As I read this I thought of several reason not to sit in the same seat at church.

    1. It keeps people guessing (including the pastor). When someone says “Hey, didn’t see you in church on Sunday, you missed a wonderful sermon” You can say, “I was there and I’m surprised you remember the sermon, you must hear really well with your eyes closed”

    2. You get to make new friends. Did you know there’s a whole group of people in the balcony that some people don’t even know come to our church.

    3. The choir gets a change of scenary. How would you like to sit up there and see the same sour faces in the same seats week after week after week.

    4. If you sit in someone else’s seat, that means they get to take part in 1 thru 3 above.

    Laughing is a Joyful Noise,

    Ed

  53. Shane Vander Hart says

    Hilarious post. We’ve tried to shake things up and sit on the other side. Our church is large enough that people on the other side think you are a visitor. It’s pretty funny.

  54. JennN says

    Great Post! My husband is the drummer in our Praise Team, so we sit in the second pew behind “the band” (smaller church, no “stage” — we just removed the first four pews to make room for the musicians). We have four kids, all of us love to sing loudly so this spot is great since the music is louder there and help block out our family noise — though I do kind of feel like a band groupie! lol

  55. Anonymous says

    My parents have sat in the same seats since time began. Because our sanctuary doubles as a gymnasium during the week, the floor has basketball court lines on it. There are two lines that intersect right at the end of one of the rows, about 4 rows from the front. My dad has discovered that if they sit at the end of that row, they have a perfect view of the pulpit right between the seats in front of them. They show up at church 10-15 minutes early just to sit there. Woe to anyone who dares invade. I haven’t lived at home for over 6 years now, but when I go home on vacation, I always know where to find them on Sunday morning!

  56. Michael says

    I learned in high school that if you sit in the same seat for all of the normal class days (classwork, studying, reading from the book, etc.) but then end up in a different seat on test day, it could greatly affect your performance on the test. You don’t want to sneak into church one day late and end up in the back row when you’re normally in the front and see the pastor handing out test papers about the different worship songs and scripture verses covered in the last month of church.

  57. Lauren says

    Grr..Michael took mine. That’s okay. I will say that I always like to sit in the same seat so there is less of a chance that I won’t have anywhere to sit. Because I really hate standing there for 15 minutes looking for a spot. It’s sad.

  58. Travis and Michelle says

    Discovered your blog and have been working my way through the old posts. Hilarious stuff, Christians sure are a funny lot, myself included.

    My wife and I pulled a fast one at the church she had attended since childhood. After getting married we decided that we would sit in a different pew every Sunday. We methodically worked our way through a good portion of the sanctuary before moving away. We definitely got a few funny looks, but no requests to ‘Scootch’. Great way to get to know everybody. We got a lot of ‘are you new here’?

    -Travis

  59. Anonymous says

    Sermon Blockers (aka tall and big-haired people) tend to move their heads a LOT. So you position yourself to see through that tiny, narrow window, only to have them move keep changing positions, forcing YOU to have to change positions, wow that is frustrating! (This happens at places other than church)

    When I was a teenager, the youth at our church sat in the smack-dab front of our church, the 2nd, 3rd, and sometimes 4th pews in the middle directly in front of the pulpit. We'd pack in and just fill 'em up. It was great because we were involved and paying attention (for the most part). Now that church has hardly any youth attending, the few who do sit in the BACK row of the BALCONY and pass notes, while most of the front is empty. That makes me sad.

  60. Aaron says

    I know this is an old post but…

    There's a man who has gone to my parents church for as long as the building has been standing..his name is Larry Shaw. He sits in the same seat every Sunday morning.

    I almost freaked out a little when I read that.

  61. Cate says

    I used to ALWAYS sit in the 2nd row on the left side right next to the center isle-ALWAYS. People knew NOT to sit in my seat…and even left it open when I was in Ecuador on a mission trip! One time while talking to my pastor(who's like a father to me, more than my own) I told him how I came across a "You know you're Southern Baptist when.." list and that one of them said "you know you're southern baptist when you have a little old lady beating you with her came because you're in her seat" and my friend that saw it told me as soon as she read it that it reminded her of me and could see me becoming that in the future(I'm 18) my pastors response? "uhm..that already is you!!" haha Well then I decided to do something crazy and made my new years resolution, which the entire church found out about cause they all somehow find out everything that goes on in my life, but it was that I would sit in a different seat EVERY sunday for the year 2010..its April and I can say I haven't died from "Seat Seperation" LOVEEE this site btw…seriously AMAZING!

  62. thoughtriver says

    guilty. i have my seat, behind the pillar, in the direct path of an air-conditioning vent, left side. in the winter, i plan to change things up. i don't want that heat blowing on me.

  63. Nathan says

    Is it sad that I’m more impressed that you know what CAD is than by anything else in this post? (Note: I’m not insulting the post, it was quite funny, I’ve even been fussed at when visiting a church and “sitting in so-and-so’s seat.” This was more to the fact that I am actually a huge nerd.)

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