Creating the holiest church logo possible. A how to guide.

Everyone knows that if you have the letter “t” in your church name/logo, it better be spelled out in the shape of a cross. I know through Christ we are free from the law, but the “t law” is still in effect. If you refuse to adhere to that, a team of Christian graphic designers come to your church and confiscate your copy of Photoshop and Illustrator and take all your fonts except for Comic Sans.

But what about the other symbols of faith? If you wanted to create the ultimate, super holiest Church logo, what would it include? And how would you judge it? If only there were a …

Stuff Christians Like Church Logo Holiness Guide:

1. You have a sun rising over a horizon, possibly spreading light through the “O” in the name of your church = + 3 points

2. A dove is flying gracefully through your logo = +1 point

3. A dove is flying gracefully through your logo with an olive branch in its mouth = +2 points

4. A dove is flying gracefully through your logo with an olive branch in its mouth and a “Jesus loves you” tattoo on one of its wings = +3 points

5. A swirl of flame is erupting somewhere on your logo = +1 point

6. There is an open Bible in your logo = +1 point

7. There is an open Bible in your logo and in tiny print you can actually see the words to John 3:16 on the page. = +2 points

8. A lion and a lamb are hanging out together on your logo = +1 point

9. A lion and a lamb are playing Frisbee golf together on your logo = +2 points

10. Crown of thorns = +2 points

11. Bedazzled crown befitting the King of Kings = +2 points

12. A worship eagle is high fiving a dove mid air = +5 points

13. There is a cluster of grapes or collection of wheat = +3 points

14. There is a chalice on the logo = +1 point

15. The chalice is encrusted with bling better suited to lil Jon, not Sweet Baby Jesus = – 3 points.

16. A big blue globe is floating somewhere in the background = +1 point

17. The scene were Elisha calls the bears down on some teenagers is somehow worked into your logo = +10 points

18. Ichthus or Jesus Fish is present = + 2 points for each

19. Instead of the letter A, you used an Icthus that kind of looks like it is walking on its tail in your church name = +3 points

The church I attend got a 0 which clearly concerns me. I think God said, “where at least two Christian symbols are gathered in a logo, there also will I be.” That’s not an exact translation but I’m pretty sure that’s in the Bible. I’ll have to counterbalance their low scoring logo by making the Stuff Christians Like logo jam packed with Christian goodness. Both “t’s” will be crosses. The “f’s” will actually be shepherd crooks. And the C will be the open mouth of a bear from the Elisha story. It’s all coming together, it’s all coming together now.

How did your church score?

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Comments

  1. Kris says

    I guess my church got a ‘0’. The title of the church itself is just…letters. No extras. There’ a box next to it though, with a path leading to a cross. That has to count for something…

  2. Jason says

    Logos are important. It’s in the bible.

    In the beginning was the Logos, and the Logos was with God and the Logos was God.

  3. Jo Fick says

    Our church scored a zero as well. Which is why I was forced to go the tattoo route, and now have a scripture quote on my right foot, the proverbial dove with an olive branch (in color!) on my right shoulder, and a small cross on the inside of my right wrist. Next up will be a tattoo of an anchor above my left ankle. But! You should see our stage setup! Flowing curtains, multi colored backlights, misty smoke. Our prop area takes up the basement of an enormous building.

  4. says

    We scored a 0 according to this rating but scored a 99 on “stuff worldly people like.” Any points if the website…dies daily? Thought I’d ask.

  5. Jennifer says

    Mine scored a 0 as well, but it’s written in Papyrus font, so I think we should get an honorary 1 score… 😉

  6. Lara says

    The worship eagle high-fiving the dove mid air should be worth at least as much as Elisha calling down bears!!
    And my church scored 0.

  7. Tiffany says

    Yep that’s a big fat “0” for us too. We have a circle with an arrow point up to heaven. But just the triangular part. We do have our own font though. Does that count for something?

  8. Maddy says

    My church got – 3. I’ll talk to someone about getting the bling better suited to lil Jon, not Sweet Baby Jesus removed.

  9. Layne says

    That’s really offensive. The proper term is “disc golf.” Frisbee golf is a pejorative term used by ignorant racists.