#437. Living better or new?
Nov 12th by JonI keep failing. I’m trying to do better. I’m trying to improve the way I think and be less selfish but it’s not working. I was reminded of this last Saturday at a charity organization near our house.
A group in our town runs a small store to raise money and provide household items to the community. My wife and I thought it would be a good idea to buy a bunch of children’s books at the store that we could then donate to the church where my daughter attends preschool. So the whole family loaded up and spent about 30 minutes inside what is essentially a thrift store.
While we were sorting through books, two random high school students that were volunteering came over and began restocking the shelves. In my head, I instantly started to think, “Oh no, they’re going to think I’m poor because I shop here. I won’t look cool in front of them. I’m ashamed.”
Pause.
“No wait, maybe I’m ashamed because I’m not poor and I’m shopping here and they think I shouldn’t be. They don’t know we’re donating the books to a church and will think we’re ripping off this store. We can afford Amazon.com, shouldn’t we be shopping there and not at some thrift store? And, if we were really a good Christian family, led by a good father, we should be here volunteering on a Saturday, not shopping.”
Round and round I went in my head until I finally landed on the thought that I was the most selfish, self-absorbed person on the planet. Who cares what two complete strangers think? How arrogant of me to think they were analyzing why I was there? Why am I still like this?
I’ve tried to get better. I promise I have. My bookshelf is littered with self help books about focus and attitude and purpose and drive. I think a lot about changing my thoughts and trying to fix the way I look at the world and how I can improve myself. But it’s not working. And I don’t think it ever will, because God is a God of new, not better.
I want him to slightly improve me or enhance my existing life and He keeps saying no.
He keeps showing me that I’ve been misreading 2 Corinthians 5:17. I read it as, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is an improved creation; the old has gone, the better has come.” But that’s not what it says, matter of fact, that’s not what it shouts. What it really reads is:
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”
But I forget that. Sometimes I act like the Bible is a self help book. I treat it like a self help book for a better marriage, a better attitude at work and an easier life. That’s not what it is though. It’s the word of God, and His word is riddled with the idea of “new.”
The great thing is that new isn’t my job. I’m not in charge of renewing my mind. I can’t fix me with me and God knows it. When David prays in Psalm, 51: “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” He’s not asking God to give him the tools to renew his own heart, he’s making a request to the only person that can create something new. In Psalm 103, we’re called to praise the Lord “who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.” I’m not in charge of building a ladder out of the pit or renewing my own youth. (Big fan of the eagle reference by the way.)
But sometimes new takes longer than we expect. When the process of new appears to slow, we get tempted to help God out. To add our bit of “better” to what He’s doing and we end up in a thrift store with a mind wracked with shame trying to remember some pearls of self help wisdom. The cool thing is that God’s ability to perform the miraculous is not limited to our ability to see it. We don’t have to understand His process of “new” for it to become true in our lives.
In Isaiah 43: 18-19 it says:
“See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.”
I love that. It feels like God is saying. “You should see this new thing I’m doing. You are going to love it! What’s that, you can’t? Doesn’t matter, I’m still going to make a way in the desert. Just because you can’t perceive it doesn’t mean I’m going to stop making streams in the desert.”
That’s more Bible verses than I’ve ever put in a post, but I’m really tired of trying to live an improved life. It’s exhausting. I’m done with better. I want what God wants. I want new.
Death to better, long live new.
Comments
I need this, I need this, I need this. Thanks Jon for a much-needed wake up call
God bless
Thanks Jon, great words, love it. So true. Mind if I steal it for a message to my youth some time?
I also love the fact that I am not alone in needing to have heard this. God is still working on/in/thru each of us.
Jon,
I can relate to this post so much. I, too, keep trying to improve myself (I’m a bit if a self-help book junkie too) instead of trusting God to make me new. I also struggle with analyzing situations and fearing what others may be thinking about me–and I’ve recently realized how much this fear holds me back, yet it’s so difficult to change. But that’s just it: it’s too difficult for me to change. I can’t do it. But God can.
Thank you for this post, I enjoy reading your take on things. I find that your posts constantly challenge me and point me to God, while often making me laugh too.
I hope these comments give you some sort of indication of the desert paths being forged. God baffles me, and I judge His work based on my blackened perception of it. Then comes my resentment.
I know you probably read this twenty times a day, but God spoke to me through you, and your humility. Thanks for letting God use you. This is so much more than just entertainment, I hope you know that.
This was one of my favorite posts ever. I need to memorize that verse in Isaiah.
Stacy, I too have been feeling jealous of others recently, so it’s definitely not only you. I just stumbled across Proverbs 23:17-18 which talks about that. I need to look up to God more, instead of looking around at the world.
My counselor said people would spend so much time worrying about what others think of them, if they knew just how rarely others think of them. Most of us are only thinking about ourselves. A lot.
Well said.
David -
Thank you for this:
“I hope these comments give you some sort of indication of the desert paths being forged.”
As I write the book version of the site and hear the shouts of doubt inside, feedback like yours is really encouraging.
Jon
I just discovered your blog and, as an evangelical minister’s kid, it has basically validated my formative years.
If you haven’t already ( I am still working through the plethora of brilliant posts at my disposal), I wondered if you would touch on Christian fiction: the SERIES with the BAD name syndrome.
All SERIES, ALL HISTORICAL, All “Wings of Grace” or “Fountains of Hope” or “River Creek Daughters”
you know it… it is standing right there in front of you as you enter your Christian bookstore. Soft, pastel colouring; a woman in a wistful pose in the forefront of the cover whilst a shadow of a man looks on in the background; font out of the “how to” calligraphy book….
I love it!
( not to mention the Notes from the author in lieu of synopses on the back. i.e., “Dear Reader,………….. Love, Candi!”
I’m printing this out so I can share it and study it more. Thanks!
Thanks, Jon.
This spoke to me. I was grinning at your thrift store antics because it sounded so familiar.
I’m linking to this post on my blog.
Just really excellent Word!
Jon – I came over to your blog to get a laugh… and what do I find instead? JOY! Thanks for being real… you are being real aren’t you? This really did happen, didn’t it?
Has anyone told you that you could write a book about this stuff?
That was a wonderful message. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. Whenever I hear someone say “I just need to do better” or think that myself, I can remember that it’s not up to me. God wants to make us new. Thanks!
I love this quote
The cool thing is that God’s ability to perform the miraculous is not limited to our ability to see it.
I’m gonna have to remember that.
God’s been showing me the same thing. Thanks letting him work through you and reminding me yet again.
Thanks, Jon. Chalk up another neon sign to what God is telling me tonight of His beautiful, un-earned grace.
Jon, I really appreciated this post. In fact I printed it out with all the comments. I am scheduled to preach the first Sunday in Jan. and I was thinking of focusing on Ephesians 4:17-32. If you don’t mind may I quote you? I will use it in a positive light of course.
Of your 18 gazillion posts, this is my absolute favorite.
Good job.
So cool! God is awesome! Great reminder!
Wow. This was huge for me to read. It’s just what I’m facing lately.
So, thank you.
I’ll be featuring your blog (again) in mine; specifically this post.
Remember in the movie “The Passion” when Christ is stumbling with the heavy cross and his mother Mary is looking on and crying and he says “behold I make all things new”…wow…of all the things he COULD have said at that moment…YES!! He makes all things new! Hallelujah! btw, Great post Jon.
Hey Jon.
I wish I knew that a while back. It wasn’t until last month that I discovered a book “Tired of trying to measure up” (awesome book!) that taught me in more detail of which you have summed up.
I still struggle with self condemning thoughts and shame, but I can feel and see God working in my life!
God Bless!