SCL

Sounds look good accountability to me!
My hubby and I do not share as we have such different emails coming in and well over 100 each every day or two. It would be too much for us each to wade through each other’s.
I always wanted to wear matching shirts though and he won’t do it…lol

So is it bad if the shirts are not exactly alike, but go together? Is that crossing the boundaries or be considered cute or whatever you want to call it? Cause I think that definitely happens on Easter.

It didn’t even occur to me that your email address was shared. I thought that was what you called yourself, or people referred to you as. Maybe now, you should request people simply refer to you as ‘the Acuffs.’

And, as bad as a shared email address is, at least you don’t share a myspace or facebook profile.

We have an email address together, but each of us has maybe 5 other email addresses. For junk mail, and Christmas present ideas and purchases, etc.

that post was mother-stinking hilarious…

thank you for a great morning laugh!

I am in awe of your coupleness/sharing……

I would slowly be driven crazy by “read by my husband but not deleted by him” emails….as he would be mine….

Guess our mansion will be smaller, sigh.

wv: lesse

“Just because we don’t share an email address doesn’t mean we’re lesse in love…..”

Wow, I’m impressed. It was hard enough for me to change my email to incorporate my new last name. I guess we just don’t have that kind of solidarity.

Very sweet post….but I bet it would have been loads more sarcastic if you weren’t “one of them.”

(Maybe that’s a post idea: being harder on other’s choices than we are our own….just thinking….)

My husband shared an e-mail address with his first wife. It had their first initials in it, and mine happens to be the same initial as hers, so he still has that same e-mail account. It’s how he knew he could marry me…”Look! I won’t even have to change my e-mail address!” (Ha!)

(I still kept my own address for most of my stuff, though.)

I don’t think it’s a sign of maturity or marital awesomeness on my part by any means. (Hopefully this post does not read that way) I mean yeah, the ping pong table thing is probably true, but I have a separate gmail address and a work address but the only one I really check is theacuffs.

WV: milkin
What I say next when I talk to pour a bowl of the best cereal in the world, Life.

wow my last comment had typos in it, nice

funny post, jon. my wife and i don’t share an e-address, although we have shared pants and a shirt before as kissing cousins at a hoe-down dress-up party.

seriously though, i also appreciate your humility. it comes through in the simple blog format and your transparency.

maybe that will get you an even bigger house.

I still think it is creepy. OK not really. I had my email address before I ever met my wife (who I will be married to for 10 years this summer). It is so old that I was able to register only 3 letters without it having been taken. This means I have one of the easiest email addresses ever. I’ve also tried to be very careful about using it when I sign-up for stuff online so I don’t get too much spam. Sure I get about 20-40 messages a day but considering the account is like 16 years old and a large number of the messages appear to be random letter combinations that isn’t bad at all. My wife, on the other hand, has sed her email address to sign up for all kinds of stuff online. Good for her but I don’t want a million messages every day driving me to get a new email address.

BTW, my solution for signing up for stuff online is that I use another address I’ve had for nearly as long just to sign-up for stuff. It gets over a thousand junk mail messages every day. If I’m going to sign up for something new I’ll go and erase the thousands of messages by just deleting everything without reading it. Nobody that I want to hear from has that email address. Then I enter it into the whatever I’m signing up for get the activation link and then ignore the account for another month or so.

As for dressing alike, we’ve gone on a few couple retreats where they give you matching shirts to wear. We occasionally end p wearing those shirts, but usually for work days. It’s cool man. We don’t have a problem here just keep moving on.

Word Verification: glettion

I glerneds my glettion; don’th ebpher anthwer the qwusthion, “Doeth thith make me look fat?” with a “yesh!”

(the above is written in a broken jaw dialect)

Loved your post. My husband and I share an email also. I never really thought about the accountability piece before.

We share one too. The reason that we share is because my husband always forgets to tell me about things and we have discovered we have less miscommunication and thus less marital discord if we both can see the evites, directions and family news.

But we both also have work addresses, and slough addresses (which is what we call the ones we submit to companies etc)

We also have clung to our home phone line. Maybe that makes us really weird. I have a cell, but my husband doesn’t even want one. And yes, we are young. We have talked about both just getting cell phones but I can’t even imagine the missed information and miscommunication that would bring into our family…

But, even though we both got way cool triathlon jackets from the first tri we did- we wear them much less then we want to because we refuse to wear them on the same days to the same places. Does that help?

Hmm, well my parents technically share an email address. But my mom is so computer illiterate that one of us has to do everything for her except type the message, so it’s pretty necessary. Matching shirts- we have a family picture from way back where all 6 of us are wearing matching outfits that my dad brought back from the Ivory Coast. It was pretty epic. But other than that they thankfully keep it to a minimum.

As far as spousal amalgamation goes, though, I think this takes the cake: My dad grew up Hutterite, and their custom is to not give their child a middle name. When they get married, their spouse’s name becomes their middle name. My Uncle John used to sign all of his legal documents John A. Entz, until the lawyer found out the A stood for Anna.

wv: litel

The litel boy wus onely jusst lerning how too spel.

I have some friends from church that just got a computer and the internet at their house and immediately set up a ‘combined’ e-mail address.

I get confused.

In the subject line should I write “For Dave” or “For Carol”?

When I see them should I say “Did y’all get my e-mail?”

If an e-mail landed in MY inbox that said “for Shelli” I don’t know that I could forward it to her without reading.

Marital Bliss = shared checking accounts and separate e-mail accounts.

Yeah, I always wondered about that…
DH and I don’t share an email address, but mostly because he doesn’t want to see a bunch of emails with subject lines like “so and so has left a comment on The Prayer of the ADD Afflicted” or any number of comment updates from SCL. He knows all my passwords in case he needs to use my computer for whatever reason. I have his written down somewhere, but he’s an engineer – his emails consist of subject lines like “TIH w/2-7/8″ tbg”. And even though I know what that means because I was “in the bizness” for a long time, it’s not anything I’m interested in reading unless I’m having a hard time getting to sleep.

“theacuffsaresoinlove” or “truelovewaitsandcelebrateswhenjonandjennyfellinlove” or “Jennyssnugglepandaisjon.” – (snort!)

WV: astro – futuristic cartoon dog or member of Kathy’s favorite baseball team, some years referred to as the “Lastros”.

My wife and I have a Shared Email account. But I also have two others for work and school that I rarely ever need to check our joint account. But the few personal emails that I get I check there and my wife doesn’t read them. She does tell me that I have mail she wants me to read so she can ask me about it though.

wv: glycabl
I use glycabl tablets to deal with the stress of sharing an email account.

Whenever my wife and I get matching shirts from conferences or such, I magically lose mine so we can’t accidentally wear them on the same day.
And I know a couple who used all their initials in their shared e-mail…because dwvldvskm@yahoo.com is really nice and easy for all their friends to remember.

this post and matt’s comment reminded me of the time i actually created a myspace account for me AND my wife… mind you we both had our own accounts already but i guess my mind was clouded by the “she’ll think this is cute and love me for it” reasoning. needless to say using it lasted for about 3 hours. when i told her about said account all i got was a blank stare and a “why do you think we need another myspace?”
my “she’ll think its cute” cloud burst and i swear i saw a raindrop fall in the thomas kinkade picture behind us…
i still get emails about friend requests from that account and i would love to accept them but i have razed the password from my memory…

This was a brilliant post, especially the comment about leaving and cleaving…

You should put it in the book, perhaps together with the “GodisGoodandBeautiful777″ post.

Okay, now this is funny: Me and my wife just got an email account together. But, we kept our other email addresses too. I think I have 3 individual account and she’s got 2 by herself, plus we’ve both got a facebook, and now we have a together email! My wife says that one’s for bills and stuff, but I think we’ve lost our minds! Ha!

“We leaved and cleaved our separate email addresses and lit a unity candle on yahoo that burns brightly throughout the virtual landscape.”–I love it!

The hubs and I don’t share email either. Because I’m the president of my sorority’s alumnae chapter, I get a lot of emails from other women and he has no interest in trying to wade through those. Plus, we had separate accounts when we got together so it’s just easier. My pastor and his wife have a shared account and usually when I email “them” I’m sending the message to his wife.

However, I do know the password to hubby’s account and he gets me to check it for him periodically when he’s not able to access it. He said he has no secrets and I don’t ever go in there just to snoop.

We do not share an e-mail address, but my wife and I decided to wear matching shirts one time ever. Unfortunately, it was when I proposed to her, and their are pictures to commemorate the moment.

Jon,

When I first saw your email address, I read it as:

Thea cuffs @yahoo.com.

I thought “thea” was some reference to God…since theo means God in Latin or something. I had no idea what “cuffs” meant and thought maybe you were just into God wearing cufflinks…

And then one day I was just like…oooOOOOooooh.
The Acuffs. Der.

The shared email thing I can sorta understand, but I never understood the shared Facebook/Myspace thing. “BobAlice Smith.” Say what?

I have to wonder how many of these couples mask deep-seated trust issues with the “We are so in love we share everything” excuse. Certainly not the case in every instance, but probably more common than anyone would care to admit.

Not only do my wife and I have separate emails, we have separate computers (although we do share a home office). However, we each have access to each other’s computers and emails, so there’s still plenty of transparency and accountability.

“I mean sure, I’ll probably have a slightly bigger house than you in heaven with a slightly easier to fold up ping pong table but I’ll invite you over sometimes to use it.”

Of course you will have slightly bigger stuff. That makes perfect sense. I can’t wait to check it out.

I think the e-mail address thing is fine, but I’m confused by the shared Facebook thing. Myspace might be ok, but “Jon-Jane Smith” on FB is weird. Then you have to tag both people in photos, you have to say “y’all” when posting on their wall, and all that other mess. Maybe I’ll feel different when I get married, but I have like 400 friends of my own… I don’t want to merge that with my future husband! Plus– if you DO share an e-mail, all the notifications go to that address anyway.

Although I certainly know plenty of “we are so creepy we can’t do anything as individuals” couples, I think I do understand some of the serious reasons why some couples do it. I’ve occasionally been glad to have the built-in transparency when I have to email a married man about something and don’t have a business address for him. But, generally, it strikes me as another artifact of the “don’t you know that really people only come in pairs?” side of our culture.

And yes, agreed, joint Facebook is disorienting. Nothing like having a photo of a guy tagged “ChrisandDebbie Jones.”

Hey I want to go on a retreat where they give you matching shirts. Would make being married just so much cooler!!!
We dont have a shared email address as he is just so untidy even with emails. I have folders for all mine but he just keeps them all just lying around. He’s like that round the house but we dont have seperate houses though!

My husband and I have never shared an email address, mostly for the reasons listed: Neither wants to wade thru the other’s msgs.

I know a few couples with shared email, and it always confuses me. Do I write “for barbara” in the subject line? Do I say “dear Bob and Barbara”? Write in plural?

Now that I think about it, that’s not much different than when my 89yo father-in-law calls us and gets the answering machine (with MY voice on the greeting). He ALWAYS starts his message with “Hi Steph!” and sometimes asks “me” (the machine) to relay a message to Charlie.

Does this mean I’m stuck in my ways like him?

Oh, and I’m totally curious: ARE you? (Jenny’s Snuggle Panda)

Jenny’s Snuggle Panda??? WOW! A little more insight into your marriage than I needed.

If we don’t share the same address but read eachothers because we have the same password and mine is always up on the family PC…will we have a bigger mansion, the same size or just a better ping pong table that flips over to an air hockey table?

Fun posts and something some of our friends have recently discussed – thanks!

Like Steph, I don’ know that I could handle searching through the inbox for my two emails hidden in the 100 emails my wife gets from family and friends. For accountability…I will just stick with standing on the left side of my wife so that her “I am with stupid” shirt points at the correct person.

you’re funny and my word verification seems like a bad word.

Wow…my and my husband must not have a very good marriage because, not onl;y do we have separate email accounts….we have separate checking accounts! *gasp*

worse. my parents share a cell phone. cute, eh? until my dad takes it with him to work and my mom is on her way to Bible study. “hey mom, can you pick up some more tortillas on the way home?” oh, nope. because you’ve reached dad once again.

wv – backozo

what al gore will call it when we’ve reached the end of our ozone layer.

omg you mentioned ping pong. in heaven. do you know how long i’ve been waiting for you to mention ping pong in heaven? because i personally think that ping pong is God’s favorite sport. or else a very close second to frisbee.

My wife and I might as well share… I get about 50 emails a day and she gets about 5 a week.

Shared facebooks: This is confusing around birthday time, because Facebook only lists one birthday. Happy birthday johnjill Maxim, whoever’s birthday it really is! And how do they decide whose birthday to list? Could create some marital tension… =)

There’s a middle aged couple at my church whom I really admire. They are a wonderful example of what marriage should be – and they don’t share anything. Since I am not good at sharing (maybe I should go back to preschool) I felt hugely relieved when I learned I don’t need to share everything with my husband.

When we order books for small groups or sunday school at my church, it has become a running joke about which couples can share a book and which ones can’t. My husband and I definitely can’t!

In my not particularly humble opinion, sharing in email address is a crime second only to sharing underwear…. and should be spoken of about as often you would mention that you and your spouse share underwear.

Of course, I’m probably just old fashioned and behind the times but that’s just little old me!

WV: Sonfi – Latin for ‘Faith comes from healing’ (Son meaning sound, fi being translated fidelity or faith)

My husband and I share an account and it works well for us. He has a separate work account and is on the computer a lot at work, so by the time he gets home he doesn’t even want to look at one. I pretty much screen everything and let him know if there’s anything important or specifically for him. I also have a google account for our blog and for signing up for anything online. Oh, and we do wear matching shirts everyday, too–is that weird?
jk

My husband and I have an email account together that we created before our wedding so our guests could RSVP to it or ask us questions. Now we rarely use it except for when I’ve entered it for our online bill pay. As far as dressing alike, we tend to do this far too often without meaning to!

the friends of mine that share annoy the crap outta me. Email addresses are free! And not that we write stuff that can not been seen by both husband and wife but at times the husband will add his .02 or just respond and we think it is not our girl friend but we are not sure. It does not help that my husband will write my friends and pretend to be me and say how great my husband is. Anyway, I like this topic and I always wondered how your wife knew I was writing you and not her, not that I do not want to talk to her. In fact, I would love to hear from her sometimes. That would be way cool!!

We have separate accounts but have access to each others email. No keep the spouse out passwords here. That being said, my hubby has been know to use a private account to throw me a surprise party and to connect with some of my out of town friends to get them here without me knowing. Yeah, he’s that great!

Ha! This was hilarious. Seriously.

I never went there with the joint email… but I entered my marriage unsaved and full of secrets so the thought would NEVER have crossed my mind.

Now, we are both so ‘established’ in our current email addresses, why share?

I’ll be back. For so laughs so be sure to be funny.

Kidding.

God bless-
Amanda

Oh, wow, we could never do this. We are both so anal about how we keep our inboxes organized. Oh, definitely not. We would be in double-secret counseling.

wv. lizedize. (LIH-zeh-dyes)

What happens to your church when Liz the “Director of Nurture” is put in charge of razzle dazzle in the sanctuary.

“Wow, the altar is totally lizedized this morning.”

I am 18 years old and someday I want to get married. (Later)

Is it bad that I thought sharing an e-mail with my future hudsband is romantic and I kind of excited about it?

!

My husband and I each have our own computers and e-mail addresses. We sit back to back while computing.We even forward jokes to each other.