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#506. Asking God if He wants you to go on an adventure.

Mar 11th by Jon

If you’re at all like me, even just a smidge, then right now you’re thinking, “Is this what I’m supposed to be doing with my life? Am I supposed to be doing something big and crazy for God right now?” If that thought isn’t on any level coursing through your head right now then congratulations, you’re not like me and probably have two well defined eyebrows and don’t have a wife that is forever confined to flat shoes so that she doesn’t tower over you.

But if you do have that thought, that “let’s go on a wild adventure with God” thought, then you and I are going to need an RV. I don’t know why. There’s not a single mention of an RV in the Old Testament, but for some reason, there’s always a motor home involved in my God daydreams.

A few weeks ago, a guy named Andrew Morgan came over to our house for dinner with his wife and one year old and confirmed that thought for me. Andrew is a filmmaker and last summer he got in an RV with another family and drove around the country filming stories about people living their lives in outrageous ways for God. His mission is to “awaken young adults to who God created them to be” and the documentary he and his partner Matt produced, “Anthem,” is really good.

But a few days after that night with the Morgans, I caught myself praying that same old prayer I keep throwing up to God. Once again I asked Him, “Do you want me and my wife to go on a crazy adventure?” (I actually say “Jenny” instead of “my wife” when I pray since she and God are on a first name basis but you might not know her name, so there you go.)

This is something I pray fairly regularly but this particular day I felt like if I was quiet enough, if I stopped trying to force God to answer the question the way I wanted Him to answer it, He might instead say:

“Do I want you to go on an adventure? Yes! Today! This very Wednesday. Live your life as if you’re already on a crazy adventure. I’m the God of the universe. You’re interacting with the creator of space and time, why do you think you need an RV to have a crazy adventure? Complete and utter trust in me lies in the moments you have. Not the moments you may have in the future. Adventure lies in the now. This day, not some day.

How small your imagination is if you can’t see that telling a coworker about me, about the son of mine that died on a cross for them is an adventure. It is! It is! Be the adventure today.

Stop asking me if I want you to go on an adventure. That’s the wrong question. The right question is “Do I want you to be the adventure? Do I want to have me in you, pouring out the greatest adventure that ever lived to everyone you come in contact with whether that’s in your cubicle or on a cross country RV trip?”

The answer is Yes! Be the adventure.

I don’t know if my ministry or your ministry will ever involve an RV. Maybe my cubicle at work is my mission field and the adventure I keep dreaming about going on started a long time ago. But if I do ever find myself in an RV for God, please know that I’m going to get one of those fill in the blank state maps on the back to show where I’ve been, I will eat beef jerky and diet Mountain Dew for three meals a day and will probably drag a small car behind my RV with a sign on it that says “I’m pushing as hard as I can.” That joke never gets old. Never.

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Comments

JulieMom Mar 11, 2009

Great point!! I agree…living life for God on any level (home or foreign missions, etc.) is an adventure!!

And one more thing…if you’re going to use the word “partner” in relation to a man with another man, and the relationship is PURELY platonic or business, smack a BUSINESS in front of the “partner”.

It will make me twitch less.

Lea Mar 11, 2009

Thanks. Very much. I needed this. I often feel like what I do is so insignificant, but I need to keep in mind that it’s an adventure! Great post…

Michael Mar 11, 2009

I just noticed your Blogspot URL has one too many F’s in it. Funny! You could write an entire post about that: how Christians who don’t agree with the blogger’s or preacher’s message criticize the misspellings and poor grammar. Ha, ha. Not that I’m doing that to you. Noooo…

Saskia Mar 11, 2009

I’ve never understood why people feel life can’t be an adventure if they “just” go to work and “just” raise a family. I hope God does call you one day to do a RV-cross-country trip, simply because you’d have so much fun, but I’m glad you’ve discovered the adventure of living every day with God.

And not that it has anything to do with this post, but I’m going to say it anyway (but I’m not going to preface it in Christian love!) perhaps people would twitch less if they respected other people’s choices more.

Andrew Morgan Mar 11, 2009

Great post Jon – I could not agree with you more. We actually just posted something that very much goes with this. http://www.brokenvoices.wordpress.com

Loved hanging with you and Jenny let’s do it again soon. Keep up the great writing – and living your life with open hands and a heart that is ready to follow His lead.

Emily Jacobs Mar 11, 2009

Thank you for a convicting (but always hilarious!) post. Lately I’ve been feeling dissatisfied and irritated with my BORING life, particularly job, and I think this was just what God wanted me to hear. Thanks for that!

Emma S Mar 11, 2009

I like this! Thank you :)
Its so true. I know myself for a long time I kept telling God that He needed to tell me where to go to big him up. I was expecting maybe Africa, India, if I’m lucky maybe the Bahamas or somewhere. So all the time i would be praying ‘God, please show me your will for me! Show me where you want me to go to spread Your Word!’
Well one night, after I prayed, it suddenly hit me. Maybe God doesn’t want me to go anywhere. Maybe I don’t have to hop on a flight to some far away country. Maybe where God wants me to go is RIGHT HERE.
A lot of Christians, myself included, seem to think that to be a ‘good’ Christian we have to go off to somewhere else in the world. But if we all did that, there’d be no Christians left right where we are. Maybe one day I will go to some far off country for God. Maybe I won’t. But right now, I’m right here, and better still, so is God.

Nick the Geek Mar 11, 2009

All I know is that when I imagine you in an RV the movie RV plays out in my head with you in Robin Williams role. I’m just saying.

BTW I think that the idea that our lives should be the adventure we are called to is spot on. That is why I’m always setting traps and sneaking around. OK not really but it does make a lot of sense. If we aren’t faithful to the adventure we are living then how can we expect God to trust us with other kinds of adventures?

Anyways, to quote Robin Williams from another movie, Hook, “To live, to live is the greatest adventure of all.” Well for us there might be bigger adventures but for now that is enough.

Word Verification: tilav
Because of the pirate and Disney ties they tried incorporating several Peter Pan and Hook quotes in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. One failed line has Captain Jack saying, “tilav is the … oh look sea turtles.”

travelin' joe Mar 11, 2009

Yeah… I DISAGREE.

(sorry for the YELLING… i just wanted attention for this dialouge).
i think i might be the odd one out here, pending how you mean adventure… Something big and fun and and popular exciting that you can brag to yoru friends … “Remember that time”??? I don’t think thats what god is calling very many people to.

I dont see anywhere in scripture where it says about plans. There is that passage about behold the plans i have for you.. but there is nothing about excitement. can you imagine that one prophet who spent years naked… or on his side. way fun huh??

Don’t hear me as being too critical, or holier than thou or anything because i too relate very very much, jon (except that i involve one of those flying cars.. not an RV… unless its like the one from spaceballs)… In fact, i commend and encourage the wanting to take steps of faith.

The point that i’m trying to make is 4 fold…
1) If knowing god is what is truely satisfying, then the biggest adventure is getting to know him
2) I think god is far more concerned with the little things… almost everyone who’s ever done “big” things (that i respected) didn’t realize how big those things were until they had arrived.. very few people that i know of set out for them.
3) Why is Big Better??? i really struggle with this because i want big… (but thats largely ego talking i think). rather i think we aught to shoot for quality.

4) and finally.. if you want to know WHAT GOD WANTS from you: “He has shown you, oh man, what is good and what he requires of you: to do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with your god.” these are both the smallest and biggest things. THOUGHTS?

Paul Mar 11, 2009

It took me many years to figure out that “where do you want me to go?” is the wrong question. The right question is “where are you?” Find where God is working around you and move towards Him.

JennyM Mar 11, 2009

Jon, whoos, I just typed “Jin”. You’re not on LOST are you?

Anyway. This post sent chills up the old spine.
EXTREMLY timely man, chillingly so.

Jaycee Mar 11, 2009

Wow! This post totally blew me away! So much that I referred to in on my blog today! http://marriedwithoutchildren-jaycee.blogspot.com/2009/03/stuff-christians-like.html

Brian Wilson Mar 11, 2009

Well, it’s too bad you don’t love Jesus enough to just go out there and launch an adventure in faith, but I’ll be praying for you all the same.

In all seriousness, I think many of us (especially the guys, who have seen wayyyy too many action movies) have this drive to do the “big things” for God. Problem is, we have to ask ourselves *why* we want to do that. We of course want to be used by God in a great way, but we usually insert our definition of “great” into that concept, then wonder why God isn’t using us in the way we want or expect.

You’re already being used in a great way, you know that. At least, I hope you do. And you’re right, it’s so important to ask and then listen, rather than try to put words in God’s mouth. All we can do is offer ourselves wholeheartedly then do what we believe ourselves to be called to do.

And while I’m at it, it’s important not to judge the apparent calling of others… I had two people I know recently volunteer for the youth ministry at my church. I didn’t think they were “ready”, honestly, but God’s already showing me what He can do with these vessels made of clay.

(Lookit how Christian I sound! :D )

IHG,
~Brian

wv: benivera: the name of some new drug that improves circulation or reduces muscle pain or maybe just gives your fingernails that lusterous shine that lasts all day

Prodigal Jon Mar 11, 2009

Travelin Joe -
Good points, although I think you and I are more on the same page than actually coming at this from different angles. In point 1 you said:
1) If knowing god is what is truely satisfying, then the biggest adventure is getting to know him.

I completely agree and was trying to say that when I wrote:

“I’m the God of the universe. You’re interacting with the creator of space and time, why do you think you need an RV to have a crazy adventure?” “And I want to have me in you, pouring out the greatest adventure that ever lived”

The point I was trying to make there, and might not have been clear on, is that the very nature of a relationship with God is an adventure. So I completely agree with your idea.

I do disagree with your thought: “I dont see anywhere in scripture where it says about plans.” I think in general the statement “I don’t see anywhere in scripture where it says …” is a tricky one because scripture is so rich and so deep that it’s hard to use sweeping words like “anywhere.”

Proverbs 12:5 for instance says:
The plans of the righteous are just, but the advice of the wicked is deceitful.

I agree with your idea that we are not promised excitement or adventure, but as far as the idea of plans being addressed in the Bible I personally was surprised how often we see that concept.

Thanks for the pushback Joe. I really appreciate you taking the time to put your thoughts into the idea I was trying to share.

Jon

Mo Mar 11, 2009

I often tell people, if your Christian life is not an adventure, then you are doing somethng wrong.

Jon, I see you are living an adventure, turning a blog into a book? How cool is that?

You see people like to tell us what our adventure is. I was told I should go & be a missionary to India. My answer was isn't there enuf lost people in my community that I should leave them & go way over there?

Agree with Traveling Joe's quote,
"I dont see anywhere in scripture where it says about plans. There is that passage about behold the plans i have for you.. "

Jon you are on a great adventure!

WV: Caticend
A lot more hateful than condescending.

PS Jon get the RV for you & your family. Make your family a mission field.

Larry Mar 11, 2009

You know what? Continue dreaming big for the Lord. I really believe Father loves it when we dream big for Him.

William Wilberforce believed that he could make a difference with slavery. Nobody agreed with him. Yet, he changed England forever.

A whole bunch of Moravians believed they could evangelize the lost on slaveships. Nations are still reaping the benefits of their endeavors today.

Praying John Hyde believed he could make a difference in India. He spent seven years on his knees, had one one convert, but the nation is still being changed by this man’s efforts.

Too often, we settle for doing less for the Lord because a whole bunch of wet blankets smother our fires.

So, dream big.

tmamone Mar 11, 2009

Wow, that’s great! Thanks for sharing that.

Jane D Mar 11, 2009

I was told recently that while I am asking the question to God – ‘Is this where you want me?’ then I am probably doing okay and having the adventure that God has planned for me – if I am not asking that question then I am probably leaving God out of stuff.

UptownHippie Mar 11, 2009

Perhaps the answer is that life is all about little adventures. A four-year-old and a pot of finger paint is an adventure… decorating Christmas cookies is an adventure… finding a puppy by the side of the road, coaxing him into your car, and finding his owner is an adventure… at least these are some adventures I’ve had lately. Maybe instead of looking for BIG, FRONT-PAGE adventures, we need to turn our focus on the little blessings we experience every day.

Stacy from Louisville Mar 11, 2009

Before I had kids I was a sex ed teacher with a platform of abstinence until marriage. That was an amazing job, a BIG adventure like what you’re talking about. On the flip side I’ve been a stay at home mom for nearly 8 years. Often I look back at my prekids life and think “if only”… When that happens God is quick to whisper, “So raising kids is nothing?” It is a discipline to remember that no matter what I do God sets opportunity for adventure before me all the time. The thing that makes all the difference: training my mind to see Him everywhere. So maybe 8 years ago I had an adventure, and today I have a marthon. The point is, no matter what, finishing strong. Maybe adventure means I’m not completely focused on what He has for the here and now.

nursesandyny Mar 11, 2009

I have a friend who is volunteering at a secular youth site. She’s got these kids talking about all kinds of deep emotional things they are dealing with. They are confessing things she is often overwhelmed in, such as they think they are gay, or that they have been suicidal. She says “What else can I do? I feel like I should be doing more!” I say, “Are you kidding? What could be more?” We do forget that God put us where we are. Look around you, what needs to get done here and now. If God wants you in Africa, he will send the travel brochure. You will not miss the trip. But I think sometimes we are so caught up in the “where can I go for God, how can I suffer for God” that we miss the very mission he has us on.
Just so you know… I’m guilty too! This was my recent revelation!

Katie Mar 11, 2009

I think this ties in nicely with your post not too long ago (but I can’t find it so if you have the link handy…) about just getting closer to God being “enough.”

I have to tell you, I have not stopped contemplating that. I just started seminary this year, and I’ve been on the “Ok God, what am I doing here? Where am I going to end up a year from now? What classes should I be taking to prepare for that? HELLO??? ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME???” Crazy Train ever since. And lately, every time I get that way, your “it’s enough” post just keeps coming back to my mind. And so anyway, this post reminds me of that one, and this is a terribly long comment that really only needed about 7 words.

redane: when “daning” it the first time didn’t work, so you have to redane it

Phil Hoover, Chicago Mar 11, 2009

Jon,

My 47 years of living (and Friday will be my 47th birthday) has been nothing but an adventure…I’m not sure I can handle anything more “adventurous” than what I am already experiencing.

Loving your blog. I’ve even shared it with my friend Chris Fabry at Moody Broadcasting. He may call you. Be ready for a radio interview.

Jen Mar 11, 2009

Perfect timing for this post. Thank you. :-)

WV: “Just when I think I go tyoust to the adventure, he throws another one my way.”

Beth Mar 11, 2009

Ahhh…the RV. I’m gonna do that someday…but not until my three kids are out of diapers. That would be a long and stinky ride.

SHERRI Mar 11, 2009

AN ADVENTURE IN AN RV WOULD BE GOOD, BUT ONE ON A HARLEY WOULD BE EVEN BETTER!

COME CHECK IT OUT!

WV: SPOOKIE

ADVENTURES WITH GOD AREN’T SPOOKIE; THEY’RE FASCINATING!

travelin' joe Mar 11, 2009

:) thanks for the discussion jon. now reading, my tone might have been a bit rough, but i didn’t mean it that way… just hard to not get lost in the stream… and the wee hours of the morning on little sleep.

fb Mar 11, 2009

I think we all yearn for a big adventure. Just sitting here thinking about talking to my granddaughter about God last night. She is so interested in all things of God right now. Talk about an adventure – so exciting to see her 5 year old eyes light up when she gets an answer she can understand. The adventure is all around me.

Gabrielle Eden Mar 11, 2009

No, no it’s not! Living with your aged parents, day in and day out, who live life by the clock, taking care of your disabled father, and working boring job Monday through Friday – that is not going to produce adventure like the adventure I went on four years ago that ended three years ago.

I drove all over the country in a car with two cats. I had the time of my life. And I had to struggle against just what you’re talking about. Does God want me to do this? Is this God’s will? Is it the right thing to do or just a crazy desire?

And then I learned that when you love God and are filled with His spirit, your desires are always going to be God-inspired and you don’t have to be afraid of them.

I tore out of my town, and passionately covered many miles, camping out in Montana for two glorious summer months like a gypsy. I met people everywhere, and had those wonderful divine appointments that let me know that God was with me.

God led me places when I was in a tight spot, so I had divine provision of a place to stay, when I got stuck in places without a hotel – like once in Colorado.

It was truly an adventure – a God adventure. Oh yes – I highly recommend adventure, when the need for adventure starts stirring in your bones. Don’t suppress it. It’s the things we don’t do that we regret most, right?

I’ll never regret the time I spent traveling the country!!!!! even though I have no money now.

Jacqui Mar 11, 2009

Jon, I appreciate your authenticity in your writing. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and heart. God has amazing things in store for you!

Anonymous Mar 11, 2009

Living for God in a world that hates Him is more than an adventure.

I love serious Wednesdays!

Marla Taviano Mar 11, 2009

I like this post.

Nathan Colgate Mar 11, 2009

That last paragraph is beautiful. Thanks.

Kerrie Mar 11, 2009

Thank You. I ask myself that all the time and I always feel unsatisfied with the answer. The people in my office need Our Savior just as much as the next person anyways. Besides riding in an RV probably gets just as redundant as working in an office. Same problem, different scenery.

What's there to know? Mar 11, 2009

Jon, I think you’ll NEED an RV for your book tour. Just sayin’.

wv: dacki- Dacki (the key) to a good adventure is taking the road less traveled. in an RV.

Matt Deuel Mar 11, 2009

Jon,

I’m Andrew Morgan’s, “business” (hope that helps twitchers) partner in the whole Broken Voices venture. Man, thank you so much for your post and pointing to Anthem.

I am so moved by what you wrote and I don’t think you could have nailed it any more. YOU ARE IN AN ADVENTURE! As a believer, you have Christ in you – creator, savior, redeemer IN YOU…wanting to do incredible things with your life every single day.

Here’s the crazy thing about us. Whenever we run into people they often say, “Oh man when did you get back?” or “How’s life on the road?” or “When are you leaving again?” It may have something to do with people not liking us being around…who knows…but what hit me the other day was that a lot of people have the perception we must always be on the road and living out of the RV…which somehow makes us cool…ultra faithful…and inspiring on another level…whatever…

Reality is, we were in the RV for 25 days last year. For the most part, Andrew and I have been in an office and/or meetings for the other 340 days. I personally spent 2 months just sifting through all of our footage from the road. There’s nothing more monotonous than popping in tape after tape and watching hours and hours of interviews for 50+ days.

We were so blessed and are so grateful to have had the RV experience. It really was amazing and life changing…but, in the RV or not the BIG CRAZY ADVENTURE is an every day thing. When you trust Jesus to do something in and through you and you choose to take action on the ideas and moments that you feel the Spirit’s prompting, you will see and experience things you never thought possible. When you are trusting Jesus to be your provider and you wake up trusting him for “today’s” provision life gets bigger and scarier and more exciting. When you give Jesus all of your relationships and ask him to move them to deeper and more significant places he will consistently blow up your world.

To me it’s just not an issue of “does God want to use me?” or “does he have a big plan for my life?” It’s coming down to the question of how far am I willing to follow him? And what we are finding is the more we are following the more exciting it’s becoming – even the mundane days at the office are becoming special as we are seeing God work through really simple every day moments and conversations. And we still have bad, boring, blah kind of days but usually those days boil down to days I’m being selfish or have lost focus on the bigger picture and story that is going on around me. Sorry for the long comment…you just got me pumped up. If more people live fully alive everyday where they are at, we’ll see incredible things…and then maybe we can save up to take a big RV trip together to celebrate about how we saw God work!

Cliff Mar 12, 2009

Are you reading through My Utmost For His Highest?

Saddle up your horses…

Me and My Dog Cody Mar 12, 2009

It’s hard not to think about Christian children in Africa starving to death when anyone starts a discussion about God’s plan.

How would it be out of God’s plan for all of us to save their lives with every resource we have?

My main point is I agree completely, but I think too many people think God’s plan has to do with jobs and getting married. But God gave us a lot of choice about how to get involved with Him. If it’s with an RV, great. If it’s affecting your area, great. If it’s going off to Africa, great. God will be in each of those places, asking you to fulfill what I believe is his plan: love God and love your neighbor. Are you doing that wherever you are?

Then you’re living God’s plan.

Gina Marie Mar 12, 2009

I agree that the person in the office cubicle needs Jesus as much as someone on the other side of the world, but I have to point out the fact that there is still a terrible imbalance in missions – most of the missionaries in the world are in the most reached places. Maybe God wants you to stay right where you, but have you ever asked Him?

The great thing about this post is that you asked. Yes, knowing God is a great adventure, but so is seeing Him use you in the lives of people who literally have never heard the name Jesus. I know, I’ve been there. And in the midst of it, you get to see Jesus in a whole new way yourself.

It’s not for everyone, but maybe it is for you. Have you ever asked?

Alicia Mar 12, 2009

Yea! I know the panic that sets in when I am confronted with that very question. Is my faith strong enough? Did I forget to listen when God pointed me to Macedonia during my quiet time? Is my lack of adventure a reflection of hidden disobedience that God is super-ticked at but I have no awareness of?

It is a testimony to God’s sovereignty that our lives can be an adventure simply by living them. This summer I got a glimpse of just how excited God is to know, love, grow, and be with His creation. My deep satisfaction in Him quenches my thirst for adventure … and then, if He so chooses, other more obvious adventures begin.

This was really encouraging – very relevant to my transitional “I’m in college what do I do next” stage of life. Thanks :)

Shannon Christman Mar 12, 2009

My “Adventure with God” fantasy also involves an RV, but it’s one for the future — I’ve read about an organization of retirees who go around the country, doing special projects for churches and parachurch organizations. That seems like a great adventure to me! For now, though, it’s the adventure of raising kids to which I am called.

Matt @ The Church of No People Mar 12, 2009

Great post, Jon. I think the temptation is to ignore the calling God has given us in exchange for the calling we think we want. We want something big, flashy, grand. But God calls most of us to be ordinary people with families and jobs and neighbors.

WV: nestive: when you decorate your home for a party like a bird’s home, it’s ‘nestive’

Cell'o'ist Mar 12, 2009

I’ve actually been asking similar questions lately and we’ve had our worship pastor change again. But upon asking these questions, I was asked to help with children’s ministry and also felt the push from God to step away from playing my cello for a while.

Cindy Mar 13, 2009

yeah, that whole “partner” thing is hilarious to me and I thought “PARTNER?!! What is THAT word doing in THIS blog?!” Good call, JulieMom

Becca Mar 16, 2009

Andrew and Matt are great friends of mine and what they are doing is amazing. I think the best part is that they are sharing so many stories of ordinary people who are living adventures of their own – some big, some small but all an important part of God’s story here. Anyways, great post – I think anytime we are willing to surrender our own plans in favor of God’s, that’s an adventure! :-)

rick Apr 14, 2009

WELL I AM HERE LIKE THE REST OF YOU.AND I HAVE QUESTIONS.LATELY I HAVE BEEN FEELING OTHERS SORROW AND PAIN,I CANNOT HELP BUT TO CRY FOR THEM AND I DON’T KNOW WHY I FEEL LIKE THIS.I TRY NOT TO FEEL THERE EMOTIONS,BUT I DO ANYWAY,I CAN’T CONTROL IT.I WONDER WHAT I AM SUPPOSE TO FOR GOD.I HAD DREAM OF A GREAT FIRE THAT WAS LIKE A WAVE AND LIGHTING,IT BURNED EVERYTHING WHERE I LIVE.WHAT DOES THIS MEAN.I AM A TERRIBLE CHRISTIAN AND DON’T KNOW IF I HAVE DONE GODS WORK AT ALL,HAVE I PLANTED ENOUGH SEEDS,DO I STAND A CHANCE OF THE KINGDOM OF GOD.I DON’T FEEL WORTHY OF GODS BLESSING AND HATE TO ASK ANYTHING OF HIM.HAS MY ADVENTURE BEEN PLEASING TO GOD.WHY DO I FEEL THIS WAY.SO MANY QUESTION AM I ALONE.

Jess May 29, 2009

As much as I see your point,

I still want pirates and car-chases and exotic locales and lions and tigers and bears and a bible that won’t burn (I was told on the train that the real word of God doesn’t burn and then a man offered his lighter to demonstrate on my Bible), and I want to see 5000+ fed from a happy meal and I want to see God’s people unite and storm the gates of Hell, and I want to go back to India to crush the false gods and see Africa healed and a ginormous revival across post-Christian Europe and I want to narrowly escape death by spiders-as-big-as-my-backpack + naughty-mean snakes and I want to slug a bad guy who deserves it really really hard and I want to lead daring rescues and I want to be part of all-or-nothing-faith-to-move-mountains-if-you-build-it-they-will-come kind of awesomeness that defies all logic and probability.

a broken compass Dec 31, 2009

Hello. I love your post. You seem to have a lot of faith and wisdom. I have never been on this site before, and I found it by accident. I am looking for an answer to a few things.

I have never been good at verbalizing my thoughts. I can understand how I feel or what I'm thinking, but I just can't spit it out for others to understand as well.
I am an absorber. I like to take in what's around me and become a part of it by understanding it.

I think so much that sometimes I'm scared that I can't establish my own thoughts and wants from God's.