#524. Photocopying whatever that successful church is doing.
Apr 17th by Jon(When I asked Nick the Geek to write another guest post he emailed me back and said that it was going to make fun of me a little. I said, “awesome.” I don’t know if that’s really what I said but I say that word a lot so chances are I said it then too. Nick the Geek is a kind, talented, honest church employee and as such he can write about topics like this one much, much better than me. I’ve never worked at a church but if I did, I’d probably follow Nick’s advice.)
Photocopying whatever that successfull church is doing.
Here at Stuff Christians Like Jon Acuff has proven that we love a lot of silly things, over 500 things to date which is pretty awesome. Of all the things we like I think trying to replicate someone else’s working formula ranks in the top 10. Point in case, this very blog takes advantage of the well known Stuff White People Like blog. Of course it is not limited here. Pastors and lay ministers all across this nation buy books, go to special conferences, and visit other working programs to try and make them work for them.
Of course, this approach often fails and so I would love to give you some tips on making someone else’s idea work for you.
What’s in a name?
When planning “your” new program take time to think about how you will borrow the name from your “inspiration.” If the idea comes from a secular source, such as Stuff White People Like then it is easy, you just Christianize the title. Change “White People” to “Christians” and bam, instant successful blog title. 90% of your work is done.
Now if you are jacking another ministry you can’t be so obvious. Sure every church wants to just take the name “Willow Creek” and watch their attendance grow past capacity. Of course this is just too obvious. You can’t really change just one word either. “Willow Stream” doesn’t have the same impact now does it? You have to fit it to your location. Is there a nice river or creek nearby? There’s your name. If that doesn’t work try mixing up other names from growing ministries.
- Willow Valley
- North Creek
- Saddle Point
With any luck you will get double the growth.
Finally, remember all the popular churches are getting away from denomination names and adopting “community church” so you should too.
“Adapt” the look
Hey you got the name sorted out now you need to look successful. They say you got to dress for success and so does your church. If you are building try and get the same architect as a modern and growing church. Sure we all want the Crystal Cathedral look, but that is much too old to get a relevant boost. Relevance is the key to everything we steal. Don’t waste your time stealing the architecture of Notre Dame, half the people reading the blog think I’m talking about the team Rudy played for instead of a premier example of a European Cathedral. People want cool and trendy so plan on updating your look often.
If you aren’t building then go visit the church and try matching the color scheme. Also feel free to use the logo look and feel. Change it up just a little and you are golden. Designers love to see their hard work on a unique logo and brand identity used everywhere.
The finishing touches
With the name and look in place you are 99% there. This last part is easiest. Try your best to copy exactly what works for other people. Sure you might be reaching to different people and you are completely different, but if it isn’t broke don’t try and fix it.
I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “don’t reinvent the wheel.” This applies to adopting other programs. Read the books, watch the videos, go to the conferences and then make it work exactly like what you have seen. If things aren’t working then you must have missed something. Go back and review your materials to make sure that you have it exactly right but don’t ever think that you should adapt to your own situation.
If after visiting your material again and again you still aren’t growing, then check the look and name. Remember that is 99% so you could have messed up there.
In closing
Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for stealing these ideas. It isn’t the same as stealing real property so that “Thou Shall Not Steal” thing totally doesn’t apply. All Christians love this and we all do it so just run with it because numbers really matter to God more than methods.
So what do you think? Any ministries or non-ministry programs you want to utilize? Have you been able to replicate working models in your church? Are you a part of a growing ministry you would like to see everyone in the country use? Did I miss anything?
Most importantly, how should we rank this on a point system (my research indicates that points add 40% to the humor quotient on this blog)? I was thinking a good start would be:
- Used the exact name -1
- Christianized a secular name +2
- Modified a Christian ministry name +1
- Combined multiple Christian ministry names +1 per name
- Made detailed drawings of the building for your architect +1
- Hired the same architect +5
- Hired the same designer to get a logo and brand with a similar feel +2• Got one of the teens to get the logo off a website image and blow it up for a giant banner +10 (because nothing looks better than a stolen low res logo blown up 100xs)
- Adapted the ministry for your talents and the people in your community -10
- Copied the target better than Xerox +5
- Got a high score on this and still experienced growth +One million points
How did you score?
(For more from Nick the Geek, check out his blog.)
Comments
Thanks, Nick! Maybe you should start a new blog:
Christianity White People Like
Nice work Nick. We need to have more faith in our local talent.
here’s another one
-favourite Bible verse is Ecclesiasties 1:9 ‘there is nothing new under the sun’
A measure of character is allowing others to tease or critique us. Nice work Nick and Jon.
Thanks Nick.
This is how I feel about VBS curriculums.
I miss the old days where the volunteer just kind of determined the needs of her group, and worked that around juice and cookies.
Wow, all that stuff sounds like a lot of work.
How about just become a satellite campus for a mega church?
Get instant success and cut your work load in half. That should be like 1,000,000,000 points, right?
@Helen. Good one. Has…
“Sending your kids to the same VBS program 3 weeks in a row at 3 different churches”
already been done as Stuff Christians Like?
Lindia- nice biblical reference.
Helen- you are so right.
Nick- Way to lay it down! I’m so proud of you!
I realy like what you wrote here.
That’s totally true – you forgot to add that TONS of churches are paying TONS of money to these power churches to buy their ideas.
I think it’s funny because our church has one of those names.
We have a prominent landscape name (Foothills), followed by Community Church.
And it’s grown from 50 people to over 2,000 in less than 10 years!
This is the 3rd time I’m posting this comment. Hopefully it will go through this time!
NtG-
You forgot:
Naming a ministry BOB +100
Otherwise, very thorough, biblically based and culturally relevant. Win-win-win.
Paul Steinbruek is starting to think along the right lines…
What we really need to do to ensure success in our locations is to purchase the FRANCHISING RIGHTS of the Megachurch we admire…
We sign a contract, send 30% of our offerings to the mother church, use their logo, download their systems and templates via their website with a special password they issue us upon receipt of the first check, recieve advertising and special promotional materials, get outlines of what to preach each Sunday as well as liscenced CDs of approved worship music in the franchise.
“Willow Creek at Amarillo Church”
“Saddleback in Boston”
“Southeast in Portland.”
Instant brand recognition.
Instant customer confidence.
Instant connection to the megachurch’s commercials.
Instant clientel.
Soon they will announce an IPO.
Just be careful to read the fine print for the primping guidelines for the metrosexual worship leader.
Paul Steinbruek is starting to think along the right lines…
What we really need to do to ensure success in our locations is to purchase the FRANCHISING RIGHTS of the Megachurch we admire…
We sign a contract, send 30% of our offerings to the mother church, use their logo, download their systems and templates via their website with a special password they issue us upon receipt of the first check, recieve advertising and special promotional materials, get outlines of what to preach each Sunday as well as liscenced CDs of approved worship music in the franchise.
“Willow Creek at Amarillo Church”
“Saddleback in Boston”
“Southeast in Portland.”
Instant brand recognition.
Instant customer confidence.
Instant connection to the megachurch’s commercials.
Instant clientel.
Soon they will announce an IPO.
Just be careful to read the fine print for the primping guidelines for the metrosexual worship leader.
OK, so if you don’t remember my last guest blog and don’t visit my blog you may not know that I respond to every comment. I don’t do it to drive up the comments but because I want to thank you for whatever you have said. Over on my blog today I have a more serious take on this same topic.
@Koffijah,
Thank you. I might have to go with that name since it does combine some highly successful names.
Lindia,
Thanks, I will say though, that while there may be nothing new under the Sun so the speak, God does create a brand new day every day for all eternity. He is very creative like that.
joel,
I really do need to give Jon a special thinks for letting me guest blog for him and also teasing him just a little. He really has no idea how easy he got off.
Helen,
You can still do that, but you forgot glitter. Every VBS needs glitter.
Paul Steinbrueck,
If you can pull that off you get instant fame and glory, but you also have no way of pretending that you didn’t know you were totally stealing another idea when you are at the top. Still you do get a billion points because the points don’t matter.
sherri,
aww, thanks, now I feel bad about those short jokes. Well not really but I would if I were the kind of person to feel bad about something like that.
Alyosha Kolody,
Thanks.
Allison,
You are right that it is kind of sad that these churches are paying so much money to the other churches to replicate their programs. Some of the churches charge little more than the materials, which is awesome, but some make serious money off of selling their programs and that isn’t cool at all. If I went there this would have turned into a rant instead of a satire. See, I told you that if you go with the right name you will be a success. I’m sure it had little to do with hard work from the pastor and those 50 ppl.
katdish,
If you can name your ministry “BOB” you get instant +100hockokagibilllion points. I think that is a 1 with infinite zeros behind it but I might be wrong. The reason you get so many points is because my wife won’t let me name anything “bob.”
koffijah,
exactly, cut out the work and of and open a chain of McChurches. I’m 87.6% certain that is what Jesus originally said in the great commission. Then the Apostles got all excited about the growth and doing new things so they thought each location needed to see the gospel in a way that was real and relevant to them instead of planting the francised McChurchbackpoint of the hills Community Church. That way when you are traveling you can always know what the church will be like. Awesome, which I say was to often according to my wife so now I say frigintastic.
Love this post. Thanks, Nick. Because we all know how easy it is to start a church
Also, how many points do you get if you ARE the mega church everyone’s copying? I just think they should get some points…
This reminds me of the old days when we would put our faces on the photocopier… the results are about the same as photocopying a church.
Thanks for the blog post. Gave me a great laugh.
*this blog entry=funny
*my old pastor that had a doctorate in theology (that the congregation paid for) using online sermons and then lying about it when confronted=not funny
Abbey G,
With the new McChurch franchise it will be that much easier. In fact it will be so easy churches will have to start turning into for profit organizations because we’ll be rolling in it. Frigintastic.
The mega churches actually start losing the points. The points may not matter but they have to come from somewhere. This offers incentive to the mega church so they are always cutting edge giving everyone more things to copy.
Irmgarde,
Hmmm, in the old days I didn’t copy my face …. butt yeah I think you get the point pretty well. (is that a typo or not?)
Jen,
your comment=nice and insightful. If a pastor doesn’t have time then online sources are great but not having time because the church can’t pay enough so he has to work 3 jobs and not enough time because he is too busy doing what he wants are two different things. When you lie about things I’m guessing the latter.
Nick!! Check you out. Don’t forget the little people who encourage your snarkiness on a daily basis now that you’ve been gobsmacked with internet stardom…
If, after visiting your material again and again, you still aren’t growing and you checked the look and name, remember that it’s 99% sure your congregation simply doesn’t get it. They’re just spiritually immature. So sad. Pray for them.
Hi! I’m new here–introduced by someone who pointed me to the “Naked” post
.
I remember how shocked I was years ago, after our ministry had paid a graphics designer hundreds of dollars to come up with a logo/tshirt design for our student conference. Several months later I was at a staff conference for a large Christian organization, and was appalled to see a staff member walking around with a ripped-off version of our shirts (one letter was changed). I was too surprised to do anything, but now wish I’d gone up to him and asked his ministry to reimburse us.
Marni,
I would never forget the little people. Sherri is wonderful.
Paul,
Yes I forgot that we should blame the congregation for failing. It certainly had nothing to do with the planning committee. Good catch. I tend to forget that step.
OrlandoPat,
What they changed a letter, that is like practically a whole new thing. Of course he should have combined two totally different things into one super frigintastic thing, but you can’t fault someone for taking it in baby steps. Seriously though. I am appreciating more and more the work that goes into these things and think that people should have some consideration for others.
Great post, Nick. I gotta get to work photocopying!
wv:enerat -from Pied Piper industries, a device you affix to your bumper to lead all the rats away from your locale to another one.
If a church steals a logo from a chicken restaurant…and their name is “loosely based” off of another church…purely hypothetical of course…how many points would that be?
t’s Ktdsh’s flt.
Nick, a couple of people have emailed me to tell me that my name was being used in vain here….
How could you?
In some circles I’m considered rather tall…church nursery, VBS,daycares, so I’m letting your snarky remarks roll of my back…it won’t take long.
Can you feel the stink eye?
I received a disturbing call from my darling duaghter that some “kids” at the SCL playground were picking on her- teasing her about her GOD-GIVEN short stature.
Is this true? On a Christian based blog site? Is bullying allowed on this playground?
Nick, you owe dear Sherri an apology.
And I want this behavior to stop. Right now. Or you’re going in the naughty chair.
I’m sure Sherri will forgive you as she is a very loving child with a heart of gold, but she can only take so much.
*I hope she wasn’t exaggerating your offense. Sometimes she gets a bit defensive and may blow up a comment or two regarding her size, which by the way, is still a couple of inches taller than I am.
Can we just all play nice here?
This site continually makes me laugh OUT LOUD. Speaking as a past church worker, you hit the nail on the proverbial head OVER AND OVER.
Im obsessed!
@ Mrs. Sherri and Sherri’s mom. He called Sherri wonderful. Nick never called me, or any of the other commenters at FOTTSP wonderful before. And I am even littler. Though not quite people…..
jasonS,
Thanks, now if someone could build a big enough xerox machine copy an entire church at once.
Beth,
It depends on the chicken restaurant. If it is KFC then zero points, but if you totally (hypothetically) stole the Chick-fil-a logo then you get 20 bonus points because it is a Christian owned company and is closed on Sundays so they can promote you when they are closed and you can promote them for when you are closed. Double your bonus points if you arrange to have them provide food for your visitors.
helen,
t’s lwys ktdsh’s flt.
Mrs. Sherri,
I think you are wonderful and I’m sure all the munchkins look up to you.
Sherri’s Mom,
I totally apologized in an earlier comment. I will say that you spelling appears to be much better than your daughter’s. You should talk to her about using Firefox which has a built in spell check.
number17cherrytreelane,
Laugh out loud is one step closer to my current goal in life. My goal is to make someone snort coffee out of their nose.
BunBun,
You tell ‘em. You rock that little cotton tail.
Pbl Pcss ws nvr trly pprctd ntl h ws lng gn. Bgnnng t ndrstnd hs pn.
ktdsh,
f y r n hrry t b pprctd snr w cn hlp.
I can get there on my own thankyouverymuch! Just have my t-shirt cannon ready to be fired directly at Mike Rowe.
What Helen said.
I apologize for all my fellow smarty-pantsers and their inconsiderate hijacking of this blog.
I would never be so shameless.
Katdish, speaking of Mike Rowe, have you ever noticed how much his Dirty Jobs gigs revolve around poo? Weird.
It’s amazing how appreciative the readers are when Nick says exactly what that hateful seminary student pointed out a few months ago. Ahhh…I guess ‘photocopying’ is just a nicer way of saying ‘aping’.
Nick said nothing about Jon being a nice guy!
When’s Jon going to comment anyway?
katdish,
now that will be a dirty job. I think that came up last time but it is still appropriate.
Steph,
Yeah, no shameless self promoting for you, you are way above that.
Nathaniel(Papa),
Sometimes hateful people are right. The worst part is, if they weren’t so hateful they might be part of the solution. Of course I’m trying to be funny, trying being the operative word, while addressing a very serious issue. I actually think Jon did a great job adapting this site into something very different from “What White People Like.” Sure they both have a satirical commentary into a specific culture for comedic effect, but Jon also provides some amazing inspirational insight even in many of the funny posts.
Anon @1:18 am,
Sorry, I thought I worked that into the first comment, but apparently I forgot because of … well probably my brain racing ahead of my fingers and my attention disappearing too quickly. Terrible of my but true. Jon is pretty awesome even if he didn’t comment.
Nick,
I agree that Jon’s heartfelt disclosure of personal experiences, triumphs, and failures are some of the best writing on this blog. However, the framework which these gems are set in is still photocopied. Must Christians always be trendstalkers as opposed trendsetters? At any rate, while I’ve been a critic of this blog at a concept level I have grown to appreciate Jon…at least as a person.
Nathaniel,
You asked, “Must Christians always be trendstalkers as opposed trendsetters?”
I think that is a good question. It is an honest question and a worthy question, too. It would be good to get lots of discussion going in answering this question.
I think we’re missing something big if we’re worried about setting or copying trends. I think we should stop worrying about our image. That is what it is, afterall–we’re worried what the world thinks about us. That is true if we use whatever cute mechanisms (copying and Christianizing fads) in order to attempt to impress the world with how “cool” we are, or if we are embarrassed by how we think the world looks at us because were not as creative, cool or “sexy” as they are.
Jesus already told us the world would hate us because of him. We shouldn’t try to make them hate us–to be sure–but we shouldn’t be worried about impressing them, either. Instead, we should just worry about seeking Jesus with all of our hearts, minds, soul and strength. If we are only what God wants us to be, that is enough–it doesn’t matter if others love us or laugh at us.
@Koffijah ~~ you said, “I think we should stop worrying about our image. That is what it is, afterall–we’re worried what the world thinks about us.”While I understand the sentiment behind your comment, and totally get that Jesus said that people would hate us, isn’t it also our Grand Commission to get the news of Jesus out to the people of the world? And if they see us in a certain way, or have certain negative stereotypes about us, then why would they want to join us?
I think it’s important to realize that the world has changed in really basic and significant ways and that newer generations of people see us as increasingly “unChristian.” If you haven’t already, you should definitely read the book by the same name, written by David Kinnaman (Barna Group) and Gabe Lyons (Fermi Project/Catalyst). It will open your eyes to some disturbing and surprising trends of how we as Christians are viewed by the younger generation.
Nathaniel,
I think it would do some good to read what I posted on my blog to coincide with this post.
Koffi,
I don’t know that I could add more to what you are saying.
Angela,
I don’t expressly disagree with you, but I do believe that some of the negative thoughts about the church in our modern culture is because of the fact that church is trying to be something it is not. The more time the church spends doing other things, the more the world finds the church irrelevant. For whatever reason a great big part of the church became part of the “moral majority” and that really offended a lot of people. There are many churches experiencing great growth through marketing, but much of that growth is from other churches. The world sees lots of money being spent because the church is always looking for more money.
I’m not saying good marketing is bad. I’m not saying we can’t be smart. I am saying that we need to figure out what the church is suppose to be and excel at that before we worry about the rest.