#528. Calling someone "anointed."
Apr 23rd by JonEvery year, during the NBA draft, the commentators from ESPN come up with new ways to measure the potential value of professional basketball prospects. One year it was “wingspan,” the distance measured from one outstretched hand to the other. You couldn’t watch draft coverage without hearing an announcer say, “He’s only 6’9″, but he has a 7-foot wingspan and plays a lot longer than he looks. Tremendous wingspan.” The next year, they talked about a player’s “ceiling,” or the peak performance that player could be expected to reach. “The ceiling on this kid is unbelievable.”
Each season, the way they describe players changes, but not so with the church. We have one word, one central label that we like to give a person. And that word has not changed for millennia. I am of course talking about calling someone “anointed.”
This is perhaps the highest compliment you can pay someone in the world of Christianity. It’s the polar opposite of saying, “God bless her,” which is just a nice way to cover your tracks after you’ve verbally annihilated someone behind their back. The word anointed is designed to indicate that the oil of God, the “major mojo,” if you’ll allow me to get theological with you for a minute, has been poured all over someone. They are blessed. They are getting the pure, unadulterated God fire hose.
Unfortunately, although we can all agree on what it generally means, there’s no chart or checklist that allows us to reach consensus on whether a person is actually worthy of the label “anointed.” I’m sure different denominations approach it in different ways and that we could squabble for centuries about an official process to figure out who is anointed.
Or we could use the Stuff Christians Like Anointed Algorithm.
It’s pretty simple, really. Here it is:
“A person’s potential to be considered ‘anointed’ is directly related to your desire to dislike them and your inability to fulfill that desire.”
Let me explain. I went to a conference once. One of the speakers was this young, wildly successful, up-and-coming minister. I confess I was trying my hardest to dislike him. Please read that sentence again, I was trying to dislike him. I brought judgment (that hair is frosted) and jealousy (why isn’t my ministry growing like that) and doubt (no one that young can be that good) and cynicism (this is just another flash in the pan young preacher) and criticism (I hate how the crowd is cheering like they’re at a concert every time his name is mentioned) to the table.
I was actively engaged in not liking him. I did everything I could, in some really inappropriate ways, to steel myself against liking him. And then I heard him speak.
I couldn’t deny it. There was something about this kid that didn’t make sense. Something illogical and beautiful and honest and true that cut through all of my preconceptions. Yeah, he had a hip haircut and cool minister clothes on. Yeah, he seemed confident in a way I wasn’t used to seeing on stage, but it didn’t matter. None of it mattered because even in the midst of the massive dislike I was trying to muster, I couldn’t get away from the fact that this guy was speaking God’s truth.
He was anointed.
For the first time ever, I used that phrase. It felt so Christianese coming out of my mouth, but I can’t help it. That pastor was anointed.
I wanted to dislike him, but I couldn’t. That’s what the algorithm is all about. The sum of your expectations held up against the sum of your experiences. Will it work for every situation?
Maybe not, in part because you’re probably nicer than me and don’t dislike people you know very little about, but at the bare minimum, it will force you to be honest about what you’re bringing to the table when it comes to other Christians. The doubt and judgments and jealousy. And being honest with all that junk might be even more important than labeling someone “anointed.”
Although I’d secretly, just once, like to hear someone describe their church to me and say, “Love the music, great kid’s department and you should see the wingspan on this pastor. He’s like some sort of prehistoric bird. Just tremendous wingspan.”
Comments
lovely honest post Jon, thank you x.
What about a Pastor’s Draft, complete with some sort of Pastor’s Combine where all the hottest recruits gather together for some sort of pastoral workout, etc.? Can you imagine the commentary?
“Listen, I think this guy has a really high ceiling. He was averaging 4.5 points of Calvinism a sermon against some really tough congregations, not to mention some of the TREMENDOUS dunks he put down in the baptismal font. There have been questions about his lacquered, nearly impenetrable dome of hair, but I still look for him to be taken high in the draft, perhaps as a platoon youth pastor before getting some serious minutes over the summer…”
Interesting, I think anointing is not completely understood. A lot of people think it is strictly a spiritual thing and there are even some that think it is more a matter of an adrenaline rush.
I can tell you that there have been times I’ve felt sick, very sick, but when it was time to stand up and preach instead of running to puke halfway through I felt great, perfectly healthy, but then immediately after the sickness was back. I’ve seen God do this time and time again for my pastor as well. He suffers from terrible migraines but when he is anointed you can see the pain lift.
Anyways, insert funny comment here.
dude, jon, great until the last sentence. prehistoric bird? what? no-like a worship eagle!
wv: reosest-what you do after the Sabbath. reosest the rest you had to see if it was a good sabbath.
I miss this blog so much…I’ve been away for the last month, and am in internets and SLC withdrawal. It was so good to come back for a giggle. So glad you’re still here…please be here when I come back!
I saw that kid too. I had never heard of him before so unfortunately I didn’t really have an opportunity to pre-judge him. But yeah.
That message of his pretty much melted my face.
peace|dewde
Reminds me of the bits in the New Testament in which the Gentile and Jewish believers are having a rough time accepting each other (”those Gentiles aren’t even circumcised!”), but the apostles point out that all of them have nevertheless been anointed by the same Spirit.
They sincerely wanted to think the worst about each other, but they couldn’t deny that each were anointed (in this case, in a spiritually literal way).
You know, that Jon Acuff is pretty anointed, God bless him.
Okay, who are you talking about? Inquiring minds want to know…
Feel free to email me. (You know, in your spare time.)
I’m so guilty of this. Mostly because I want to be all non-conformist. So when everyone else is going all ape, er, stuff over someone, I try to find a chink in their armor. Why do I do this?
I agree – sometimes it’s easy to see someone or something and know God has annointed it. What bothers me about “annointing” though is when people proclaim themselves to be annointed, or say something along the lines of “I feel God’s annointing of my words today…”. They usually say that before asking you to give them money.
However, one of the best uses of the word comes from Steve Martin:
Oh pointy bird, oh pointy, pointy,
Annoint my head, annointy-nointy.
Post – Hilarious.
“the jake said…
You know, that Jon Acuff is pretty anointed, God bless him.” – Hilarious.
Being a woman, I’m totally used to the “wanting to hate her but can’t help loving her” thang that women do. I see a totally gorgeous, absolutely together woman, and I WANT to hate every perfect hair on her head. And sometimes, she makes it easy to go right ahead and do that. But sometimes, she ends up being a breath of fresh air, with a pure heart and absolutely no ego, and I’m baffled. Deflated. What do I do with all the hate? (I can usually turn on CNN and find a perfect outlet for it, but I digress).
wv #1 (which I mistyped): snocrop–an over-65 scrapbook group
wv#2 (how did I get so blessed?): ichamol– That young pastor thinks he’s so perfect, but look– ichamole on his face!”
Hehe… I love the way you described the anointing as “God’s pure unadulterated fire hose”.
In my church, we call the anointing the “showerhead”.
Just found your blog…love it!
jazztheologian.com
M. Roehrich -
You jest about a pastor’s draft, but the funny thing is that here in the ELCA, new pastors are selected and sent out to different areas of the country in a manner that is eerily like a draft. A bunch of bishops get together, look at all of the paperwork of the new crop of pastors, and decide who they bring back to their synods.
We’ve always wondered what sorts of trades get proposed during this meeting…
w.v.: sorit
“sorit” – a college girl who changed her mind abruptly about joining a sorority
A pastor at my church, Sam Roberts, has ridiculous wingspan. And long fingers.
I’ve found finger length to be a terrific way classify speakers. (You should check out the digits on that Perry Noble.)
You know, I think annointed has actually been the sportscaster’s word a few times too. As in: Lebron is annointed as Jordan’s heir.
I have a problem with calling someone anointed. I’m sure plenty of Christian movers and shakers have been called “anointed” at one point or another, and they may have been very successful in their ministry…but I doubt anyone would consider them all “anointed.” Is Jerry Falwell anointed? Rob Bell? Billy Graham? Shane Claiborne? I don’t know, it seems like the label of “anointed” is just that-a label.
I figured out who he was speaking of…I was there to. I’d never heard of him, but it was amazing and God was lifted up. I think this site is pretty anointed.
Oh, in college we were the “Anointed class” (every class had a name the senior class at the time voted on). We thought we were pretty special. Just as long as we weren’t the “God bless them” class
I enjoyed this.
And I agree with Pam D. Women prejudge at least as much as men do.
I also understand where you’re coming from, Ann at 8:57. I think a label like that, applied with too broad of a brush, can be dangerous. Or at least lose its meaning.
But I love Jon’s algorithm. It seems to be an in-the-moment realization, based on the person’s current actions. To decide that someone (at least someone currently living) is anointed for all time, foreverandeveramen, might be a problem.
Great post.
And I think a friend of mine and I saw that same pastor speak at a conference last year (I’m just guessing). I say this because although I was very much looking forward to hear the guy speak live, my friend had never heard anything about him before, and expressed to me how he had very similar thoughts to yours. The frosty hair bothered him. The way he dressed annoyed him. The way he carried himself irritated him. He wanted to leave so he wouldn’t have to hear him, but he couldn’t. And when my friend did hear him speak, all those thoughts vanished. This kid truly was (and is), as you say, anointed. How can we say that? Aside from your algorithm, I think sometimes… you just know.
Keep up the good work.
I too am a “pk”. So, as a kid we were constantly going to hear preachers. Following one of the services of a pretty famous preacher, a woman came up and touched his arm. I heard him say to her, “Don’t touch me, I’m anointed!” Even as a child this sounded a bit over the top. This has been a catch phrase in our family ever since.
Thank you for your postings!
Ok… so what’s the big secret? WHO was the pastor? Several other comments “I saw that same pastor…” but no names??
Is this a secret anointed-pastor-hearing club that the rest of us are not invited to join?
…I’m usually one to think that every Christian, if they know it or not, is anointed by GOD…the question is, are they using that anointing in love?
…I say that because, in my experience at a former church, the congregants used the “I’m anointed by GOD!” routine as a way to bully others around, myself being both the recipient and dispenser of that way of thinking (being young and stupid back then, you know)…
“Being anointed with several herbs and spices”, I used to (and still) say, tongue in cheek…
Hmmmm … to be fair, if you’re going to call it an algorithm I think you should be using the word ‘proportional’ instead of ‘related’.
Otherwise, great post!
I find my actively trying to dislike people who don’t deserve that kind of dislike as well. Sad, eh? That we can let our own stuff get in the way of seeing the beauty and blessings of another person?
This was a great post.
I am embarrassed to say that I have this experience with almost every famous preacher I ever see.
Except for the ones where I manage to keep my dislike intact.
Thanks for helping me laugh and challenging my sin all at the same time.
wv – prommoni
The cost of a limo, corsage, tux rental and dinner and two tickets to the dance can add up to a lot of prommoni.
The proof is in the pudding, True annointing carries over from a mans words to his life and the fruit that comes thru him. The fact that a majority of people flock to hear a man or join his mega church is definitly not a sure sign of annointing. There is more pseudo annointing out there today than true annointing. Anyway we are not the final or even a good judge of true annointing. Time will separate the true from the false. Beware folks there are a lot of charlatins out there wanting your money, and your adoration.
I’d like to hear this guy too, what’s his name? If he’s anointed I actually may _need_ to hear him. I never know who God will speak to me through each day.
Hmmm…maybe one way people are anointed is when they are channels of God’s word to another person, even if it’s only a one time thing…..
Hmmm. Maybe best for others to identify. Last week I was told by someone they were speaking “by the unction of the Holy Spirit” to justify the outrageous statements they were making. There were absolutely no fruit of the HS anywhere in the conversation. Didn’t sound much like him to me.
Katdish, I also “want to be all non-conformist”. I read/listen to lots of Christian stuff just to disprove how life-changing/paradigm-altering/whatever it is. I have sometimes been surprised. Often, I am not.
Additionally, I once knew a pastor with an incredible wingspan. When he raised his hands during worship, which he did often, you’d better not be too close!
If I were to try to discribe annointing, I would say, when you see them serve, preach, teach and etc., you respond by saying, “There is absolutely no way they could do that on their own. That has to be Jesus!” Or at least, I think that’s what’s in mind when reading Acts 4:13.
Jealousy. That is all it is–pure jealousy. We don’t like someone who is well-regarded because deep down inside we wish it was US who was well-regarded.
But I don’t think seeing them as worthy of that regard in spite of our jealousy constitutes a definition of anointed.
Can someone post a list of references to “anointing” that doesn’t refer to Kings or Messiahs? I want to study to see how the Bible uses that term.
2 Corinthians 1:21-22
21And it is God who establishes us with you in Christ, and(A) has anointed us, 22and who has also(B) put his seal on us and(C) given us his Spirit in our hearts as a guarantee.
annointing means”a divine enablement to accomplish a divine task;a supernatural empowering to accomplish supernatural goals
to my understanding–we are ALL annointed -as believers- when we were sealed by the Holy Spirit at our new birth
without it our efforts are–just that–our efforts
(who says Beth Moore studies aren’t deep?–learned that just last week!!)
Yes, laprez, you are right. Thank you for that reference!
Our common usage of the term means, “Swank spiritual stud.”
We are all anointed.
But only *some* of us are truly annoying.
I’m anointed with 10W30 every time I change my oil.
Heya Jon!
Too. Funny
.
) to people who’s ministry is house church. No big sermons or worship song services?…
My take on this is that labeling someone as anointed might be easier for church-going people. How do you think we should “measure” ?anoint-ment (is there such a word?
Pastor Steve, huh? I feel it…