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#532. Arguing about why bad things happen to good people.

Apr 29th by Jon

Despite my best efforts, the people at the Testamints corporation are refusing to sponsor me. I’ve tried several times on this site to subtly drop them hints like tiny pieces of delicious candy, “Hey, you should sponsor this site. We’ll do a campaign called ‘Send bad breath to hell.’ I’ll be able to write more. You’ll get great exposure. Readers will get free mints and more Stuff Christians Like. We’ll eliminate halitosis. It’s win-win-win-win. That’s quadtastic!”

So far though, no luck. But if they ever do sponsor me, the first thing I am going to tell them we should do is put the answer to the question, “Why do bad things happen to good people” on a mint. That way, when people ask you that, which they always do, you can say, “I’m glad you asked that. I have the answer right here and you kind of smell like pickles. So let’s take care of both those situations with a handful of mints. Enjoy.”

Doesn’t that sound a lot easier than going around and around in circles arguing about why bad things happen to good people? The challenge though is what do you write on the mint? There are a million possible answers to that question with a thousand different Bible verses you could pull from. How do you find a perfect, succinct, spearmint-sized explanation to this age old debate?

I don’t know, but recently I felt like God dropped a question into my lap or rather my red moleskine notebook, when I was wrestling with this issue. (I got red instead of black for the period I was writing my book because it felt like the bat phone from the old Batman show. I am not cool.)

Here is the question I felt like God asked me:

“Do I have the right to crack the vessel if breaking it is the fastest way to share with the world what I have poured into it?”

The truth is, I don’t have a fancy, easy answer to the question “Why do bad things happen to good people?” All I have is my own question:

Does God have the right to crack the vessel if breaking it is the fastest way to share what He poured into us?

The question is not “Does He love us?” My life circumstances do not determine that. He is love. Regardless of what happens to me in this life, that is who He is and who He will always be.

The question is not “Do we have to fake smile through pain?” I don’t think so. I’ve had friends that have buried their children and seen moms fall to cancer 5 weeks after being diagnosed. There are many, many things in this world that suck and will continue to do so. I would never tell friends who experienced tragedies to turn a frown upside down or whitewash the year my whole life fell apart with instant rainbows and fluffy clouds.

The question is not “If God is supposed to work all things out for the good, why is this situation so painful?” It’s His definition of good, not mine, that I must live with. Thankfully, mercifully, beautifully, He doesn’t promise to work things out according to my understanding of “good.” His good will always exceed mine because He can define “good” across the solar system and I can only define it with what I see with my own eyes.

The question is not, “Can I trust a God that allows bad things to happen to good people?” Although that’s tempting to get stuck on. Sometimes when we say, “How can I serve a God that would allow bad things to happen,” we miss what we might be really saying. I think what we mean is, “I could only serve a God that is good or loving according to my own personal definition of what those words mean.” But that’s kind of terrifying to me. I don’t want to worship a God who’s power is limited to my ability to understand it or who’s goodness is limited to my ability to define it. I get “good” and “bad” wrong all the time.

I thought starting my own church advertising agency was a good thing. Instead I lost $4,000 and had to apologize to the church my grandma attended for 30 years when my business partner took the money. (Turns out he’s a broken human like me, but I got nothing but love for him now.)

I thought getting rejected from the University of North Carolina was a bad thing. Instead I met my hott with two t’s wife at Samford University and started a writing career I’ve loved.

I am not equipped to tell God how He should be or understand if something He’s doing is good or bad. And the biggest truth, the one that’s easiest to miss, is that in any given situation, God is working out of love. He’s ridiculous that way. On the surface it might feel like the worst pain we’ve ever known, the darkest skies that could ever cover our tiny planet, but all the while, God is calling us, urging us, drawing us to His love. It makes no sense, but it’s true and you see it when you read things like the cocaine testimony.

The reality is, the debate about why bad things happen to good people will probably rage on for the rest of time and that’s OK. Granted, Testamints could end it today, but again, they’re not picking up on my hints.

But wrestling with the question above has helped me reframe some things in my own life and it’s what I’ll leave you with today:

Does God have the right to crack the vessel if breaking it is the fastest way to share what He poured into us?

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Comments

Vijay Kumar Feb 19, 2010

Bad things happen in life as the whole cosmic system is governed by inscrutable laws of Karma… as we sow so shall we reap… nothing less or more! If they were only happiness in life… all would become monotonous… meaningless! Only when we suffer… we understood true value of happiness… never otherwise!

Bill May 18, 2010

John, it's not Wednesday. Don't you know that you can't do things like this to us. There is a liturgy to be followed on this site!

Keep on, keepin' on.

bluedaffodil May 18, 2010

This might be my favorite (serious) post of all the ones you've written.

Charles Stafford May 18, 2010

Ignoring the whole post except for the beginning about Testamints: I always thought scriptural fortune cookies would be a good idea. Who wouldn't want to crack open a delicious fortune cookie and receive something they can apply in daily life?

Think about it. Might be a good way to get your $4000 dollars back. Or lose $4000 more. :)

Michael Reaves May 18, 2010

As a pastor, I struggle with this issue. Certainly, God can do whatever God wants to do. But I don't think the question Jon raises is helpful to the hurting in many situations. Perhaps the best advice I ever received was when I was a chaplain intern at a hospital. One of the chaplains told us, "Don't try to defend God. God doesn't need you to defend him and the person hurting will not hear you. Listen to their pain and be present." It makes me uneasy and at times even angry when someone tries to comfort a grieving parent who has lost a young child to illness or some other tragic circumstance by saying, "It was part of God's plan" or "God must have needed him (or her) in heaven." Oh, really?! If Christians believe we are unable to understand God's ways completely, then why do we say such hurtful things to people when all they really need is someone to listen to them and be by their side. We don't know why these things happen. While I won't deny God's right to crack a vessel if breaking it is the fastest way to share what He poured into us, I believe that God is there to help us pick up those broken pieces. I do not want to believe that God would take a child or cause a tragedy just to prove a point. I may very well be wrong since I cannot begin to understand God's ways completely but that's how I approach my ministry with the many cracked vessels I encounter every week.

Kena May 18, 2010

Your not alone. I got rejected from UNC last month.

Thanks for the ‘encouragemint’ and insight.

[...] One of those themes is the age-old question of why God allows “bad” things to happen to “good” people. I got to thinking about it after I read a post over at Stuff Christians Like this morning, a post about why “bad” things happen to “good” people. [...]

jennifer May 19, 2010

Well said, I couldn't agree more. And not that I'm always happy about why God allows what He allows sometimes, but like you said, I am always reminded that God is love and that He does in fact work all things together for our good. Thanks for this reminder.