#535. Communion Tray Etiquette.
May 4th by JonIf you’d never been to church before and someone handed you a plate of wafers and a spaceship-designed, traveling presentation tray full of juice cups during the middle of service, would that be weird? Would proclaiming that we’re about to eat the body of Christ clear things up? Probably not. You’d be puzzled, maybe even a little sweaty, until someone leaned over and handed you a copy of this book. And then everything would be alright because you’d know the five easy rules of Communion Tray Etiquette:
Rule 1: Always be prepared.
The second you realize you’re about to share communion, start scouting out which direction it’s coming from. Watch the back-and-forth, every-other-aisle jump the ushers are doing to determine if it will be passed from your left or your right. Assess the possible handoff skills of the person next to you. Do they appear cagey? Nervous? Old? Remember, they’ll be passing the tray to you with only one hand since their other hand will be holding the cup or the wafer. If you have even an inkling that your pew neighbor won’t execute a perfect handoff, prepare a two-hand reception. Not alligator-style like in God’s favorite sport, Frisbee, but with both hands out gently, as if you’re saying, “Hey fella, that’s OK, you can hand me that tray. It’s in good hands. You’ve done a great job. I’ll take it from here.”
Rule 2: Move it along.
The biggest communion tray foul you can commit is to hold the tray too long. You’re essentially causing a pew traffic jam or “PTJ.” While you sit there and tediously make up your mind, you’re signaling to everyone else sitting next to you, “Don’t mind me, I’m just preventing you from partaking in the most tender sacrament of faith. I’m blocking you from the body of Christ.” Aim to receive the tray, make your selection, and pass it to your neighbor in under two seconds. Sound impossible? It’s not if you follow rules three and four…
Rule 3: Practice quick cup selection.
I don’t know what kind of tray your church uses for communion, but growing up we used silver dishes with elevated, circular rows of cups. Kind of like the hats that Devo wore in the “Whip It” video. As you look down on all these options, you’re going to be tempted to analyze which one “looks best.” “Which is the fullest? Which one looks like it might spill? If I take a certain cup, can I empty a row like some sort of reverse game of Connect Four? Shoot, someone already took the center cup. That’s my favorite cup! That’s the King cup.” Ignore these thoughts. They’re only going to slow you down and make it look like you’re still deciding how you feel about this whole “Jesus thing.” Grab the first cup you make eye contact with and pass.
Rule 4: Break bread, not your concentration.
Chances are the bread or wafer will not be uniform in size. You might be looking at a plate full of wafers broken up into a variety of shapes and girths, or an actual loaf of bread will land in your lap. Do you put the tray down so you can use both bare hands on the loaf? Do you keep the tray in one hand and try to form some kind of eagle claw that can rip a chunk of bread out even though you’re not stabilizing the loaf? How much bread is too much bread? How big a wafer should you choose? Deep breaths, deep breaths. We’re going to get through this together.First and foremost, regardless of what’s on the tray, don’t root around. You’re not digging for buried treasure. As far as bread goes, I’m a fan of using both hands. Place the tray quickly on your lap, use your left hand to gently touch the back of the loaf and then pull a gumball-sized piece of bread off the front of the loaf with your right hand. (If you can fit both butter and jam on the piece of bread you’ve selected, you’ve gone too big and should be ashamed of yourself for hogging Jesus.) Then move on. No regrets about your piece. You got a great piece. It’s a fine piece. Let it go.
Rule 5: Pace yourself with consumption.
It’s hard to know when to eat your bread and drink your wine because different churches do communion different ways. So watch the crowd and the minister. Wait until you see a majority of people partaking. And be prepared to pretend you were just scratching your cheek if you go to put the bread in your mouth and realize right before it touches your lips that you were too early.
Ultimately, you might mess up all five of these steps. You might drop the tray on the floor and cause a huge commotion and have everyone stare at you. But I think if you did, God would say the same thing we say at our house when somebody spills: “No big deal.” Because it’s not about the cup or the wafer or the cold the person next to you is inevitably going to give you. It’s about Christ and He tends to live outside of etiquette.
Comments
Being Catholic, I receive from the Chalice, rather than getting a tray passed to me. I learned something, though. I would be as lost at your Communion Services as you would be at Mass.
Communion at the church I attend is a very important part of the worship of my Lord and Savior – one which I take very seriously.
This is my first time reading your blog and now I’m positively hooked… lol! This post is too funny. Even the comments are entertaining.
I try to scope out the cup I want as the person next to me is selecting theirs. This way I can get the cup I want with the desired fullness and not “block anyone from the body of Christ”.
That was seriously one of the funniest things I’ve read in a long time. At least since the last post I’ve read here. The I need to pray and confess but have to keep my eye on how close the usher is to my row. Check. The shaky handed neighbor passing the now shaky tray of little cups. Check. The choosing of the matzoh-not too big, but not too small. Check. The moving of the tongue to get the piece of matzoh out of the back of your molars afterwards. Check. But you forgot Post-First-Sunday-of-the-month. (After all, don’t real Christians only have communion on the first Sunday of the month?) It’s the running from pew row to row stacking all the communion cups in leaning towers, helping mom(aptly named a Deacon’s Helper, not Deaconess because no good Baptist church has anyone named Deaconess among their ranks) after the service in the church kitchen pouring the little cups of juice back in the plastic jug of grape juice, and taking all of the little cups home to put on individual prongs in the dishwasher to wash for next month’s communion. Good times.
“I’m just so glad my church doesn’t do transubstation. To potentially spill wine is bad enough, but to actually spill the blood of Christ?”
Saskia is hilarious. I just pictured elders looking at the poor Savior on a Sunday morning and saying, “Sorry Jesus, you can’t come into our elements here. We just remember you in our church.”
I don’t pretend to know whether it is or not, but if trans-substantiation is real, I don’t think we can decide whether we’ll “do” it or not. Same is true if it’s false. I think it’s just a reality regardless of what we believe about it.
I hope that is received in the spirit with which it is given: honesty and humor.
When I was little, our juice cup trays were extremely heavy. I think they were made out of real silver or something. My mom taught me to grab hold, turn, pass to next person and while in both of our hands, grab my cup. I still do this even though I’m grown and the trays are much lighter.
Our cups were also made of glass back in the 80s and 90s. Now they’re cheapo plastic. Doesn’t Jesus deserve fine china?
And did any other church allow new believers to keep their first “Lord’s Supper” (as we Baptists call it) cup? I still have mine and it looks like a wee shot glass.
OK need to make another comment.
We use Hawaiian bread in our church. You know that sweet soft white stuff. Goes great with Welch’s. BTW how many non-Methodist’s know that Welch’s Grape Juice was developed by a Methodist for non wine churches?
All of our services do intiction except for the traditional service. At a previous church we had to quit doing intiction as the janitor didn’t like shampooing the stains out of the carpet.
Don’t ask me how this happened unless God is trying to tell me something but this is the honest truth. I got a new refrigerator about a month ago. When cleaning off the top of the old one I found a communion wafer. You know the ones like you get at Catholic churches or are used for the sick. No idea where it came from.
Our daughter worked at a Catholic mission and when we would visit and go to chapel would pass on communion. After becoming more familiar with it all we did take communion. I asked the nun in charge once if the priest knew we weren’t Catholic. Her response was I don’t give a BLEEP! She’s a cool lady, she also delivered 2 of our grandkids.
All of this discussion is too funny.
What’s really important is being well-versed in all methods of communion. This is especially true if you happen to be a church-hopper, because you will inevitably do communion differently at every single church you visit. Is this week’s church a go-forward-to-recieve-the-elements church? A go-forward-and-kneel-to-recieve-the-elements church? A pass-the-elements-from-behind church? A recieve-the-elements-pew-by-pew-from-the-ushers church? An everyone-drinks-from-the-same-cup church? An individual-cup church? It’s very important to figure this all out early on so as to avoid looking like a church newbie.
My biggest communion concern when going to a new church is:
1. “partake now, put your empty cup back in the tray and pass” OR
2.”take the emblems, pass, and partake after you’ve prayed about it” OR
3.”take the emblems, pass, partake when the preacher/elder says so”
While I’ve tried really hard in these situations to observe what others are doing and follow suit, this is difficult to do when sitting in the front row. I take issue with option #1, because it seems awfully germy. Of course, I always wonder why there isn’t some universal code when it comes to communion. These thoughts inevitably become my focus, rather than the “Thank You Jesus, for dying for my sins” thing.
I’ve taken to calling the “chiclet” like communion bread “Jes-Its”.
I was laughing so hard at the communion traffic jam! I do that all the time try to pick the biggest (Little) grape juice cup. Our trays are exactly like you are describing. We got a new pastor and he switched up the comm. procedure and I ate my Jehuda Cracker way too early!
One Christmas Eve, our church was especially crowded for the communion service. On this occasion, the pastor stands at the front and serves the bread chiclets and the tiny grape juice cups which are prepared before the service and stacked at the front on the altar. When about half of the huge line had been served, the pastor ran out of juice. I was at the front, and entertained myself by noticing all the expressions and actions of those who were not offered the juice and the pastor who was trying to tell them nonverbally that there wasn’t any left. Some acted as if they couldn’t leave until they had the juice. The word had not been passed down the line, so for half the time, each person who approached waited, then looked around, and then reacted. it shoudl have been on “Candid Camera.” I also wondered if the “communion committee” could not have judged the size of the crowd earlier and brought reinforcements, or later, and rushed in extra trays to pass at the back where the line was being directed back toward their seats. Apparently, there was no more juice to be added.
Heh! Funny stuff. I’m a pastor and in our church for several years there was an older lady who wanted to bake the communion bread as an act of service and worship. That’s great! Problem was that there was wide inconsistency on the quality, chewiness, etc. Especially when she decided she wanted to bake the break in huge batches and freeze the extra, so we’d have fresh communion bread one week, and then the next three times we’d have progressively chewy-er and more frost-bitten Jesus Bread.
I ended up having to give her this test. If I – as the officiant – can’t chew and swallow a small piece in under 5 seconds and then fully wash it away with my shot of grape juice, then something’s wrong with the recipe. We’re a hold-the-elements-pray-together-then-take-together church, and it’s a bit awkward for everyone to be waiting on the officiant while they chew away, trying to clear their mouth for the next part of the service.
As a minister, I have got to add my own hilarious story. In the UMC we are known for coming forward for communion, usually kneeling at the altar, but sometimes just coming forward in a “holy” line. Everyone hates those little wafers the size of chicklets but no one particularly likes dipping in the common cup, either. So, many of our churches have adopted the pita-bread-and shot-glass communion service. One of the funniest communion services was when the senior pastor (who is color blind) was preparing the bread and the choir director and I noticed that the pita bread had mold on it! Lots of noticable green stuff! I remember he (the choir director) looked at me, and I looked at him while the senior pastor began to serve all of us “professionals” and communion servers. We both ate it anyway (its just penicillin, right?). But I knew that it couldn’t go further. I had to quietly go up to the altar where the senior pastor was wrapping the bread to hand to those who would be serving and quietly stop him and whisper that the bread was moldy. However, I forgot that he was wearing a wireless mike at the time and I think most of the congregation heard me! Anyway, I found enough pita bread to use (the senior pastor could see no difference between the good and bad bread!). The bread, by the way, had been bought that day and the communion preparers were so embarrassed….I don’t remember much about the rest of the service except I was pretty much trying hard not to laugh. So, if they serve pita bread, you may want to check for mold!
On Easter weekend I participated in three communion services in three different churches in three days. Talk about being confused.
1 used juice, 1 wine, and 1 boiled wine to get rid of the alcohol (it tasted awful, even the lady who boiled it made a face).
When to drink/eat? In the one church (its a fairly young church), two leaders were standing at the front. As the one leader took his bread and promptly popped it into his mouth, the pastor said, “as it says in the scriptures, lets all wait to eat together”. The look on the guy who ate his bread was great. I could see the thoughts running through his head – Do I just eat it? Do I take it out of my mouth to eat with the rest?
I tried the watch what everyone else was doing trick, but in the one church I was outside with my daughter when they passed the bread around . . . I peaked through the window and finally figured out they had eaten already and that it was safe to do so as well.
I love it! So true. I have had so many times when I’ve swung my hand backwards, unaware that the person behind me was about to hand me the wine tray. SLAP! and splash all over the floor, and all the kids start with the suppressed giggling.
For both March and April, I some how managed to pick that communion cup that was super glued in the tray. Both times the cup cracked and sprayed juice all over the deacon who was handing me the tray… it also happened to be the same deacon each time. Now he comments about my super human strength! Thank goodness there was no such scene yesterday during communion!
As a Catholic, I don’t get this post at all. If you don’t believe in transubstantiation, why are you calling the wafers the Body of Christ?
Actually, since we drink from a chalice that is not passed down the aisle, and the extraordinary ministers of communion are generally pretty careful, spills of the Precious Blood are very uncommon, but they do have a special sink in the back to wash off your clothes in case you do spill it on them.
I hadn’t thought about this for awhile but in the church I grew up in we took communion the way you described. I loved the sound of everyone clinking their glass cups into the little holes in the pews when it was over. Now I’m sure they don’t use glass cups anymore!
) Thanks for the smile!
I go to a Methodist church now and I have to admit – I was a little grossed out at tearing off a chunk of delicious homemade bread and then HAVING TO DUNK IT IN GRAPE JUICE????
One of my most embarrassing church moments involved the little plastic cups filled with grape juice. I was in the front row, awaiting going on stage for a song I was singing immediately after. I was nervous, and thinking about the song. I had the plastic cup in my hand, and absentmidedly began sipping at it. My friend next to me looked at me aghast and said, “did you mean to sip the blood of Christ?” She was kind of kidding, but it was really embarrassing.
we have some different issues with the communion at my church in maine. everyone lines up in the aisles and heads toward the front where the “communion stewards” are holding a plate with half a loaf of bread, and a goblet of grape juice. you proceed to grab a chunk of the bread, then dip it into the goblet and eat it. quite interesting – never seen it done this way anywhere else. so you actually have at least the 2 people holding the elements watching you very closely – it can be intimidating when you’re having trouble grabbing a piece of bread, or if you drop your bread in the goblet, and have to try and fish it out. then you have to endure the stares of all those after you in line, knowing your fingers have swam around in the same holy juice that will soon be in their bodies.
haha, just finished reading all the other comments. glad to know we’re not the only rip-n-dip church out there. still think it’s very odd.
thanks jon for putting a smile on my face every day
Another tip:
If you have recently had your jaw broken and its not wired shut, but you have very thick rubber bands that allow you to open your mouth just wide enough to slip the cracker in…it is in fact NOT a good plan to let the cracker get just soggy enough that you think you can swallow it without chewing (cause you can’t actually chew solid food with a broken jaw)…you still might choke. And the blood, I mean juice, usually doesn’t follow fast enough for you to use it to help wash down the cracker; leaving you to eventually have to cough up the cracker.
Of course, you can’t open your mouth up wide enough to spit it back out, so you have you get your suction bulb (very similar to the ones used to suck out baby boogers) and suck the Jesus back out of your mouth before the paramedics are called.
Not that it ever happened to me, I just wanted to warn everyone…
Intinction is one of my favorite words. I’m just thrilled to see it in the comments.
Jon- What about a post about all the great vocab words Christians get to use like intinction, transubstantiation, pneumatology, hermeneutics, hypostatic union…
We have Communion yesterday. As awful as it was, I kept thinking about the germy hands of those that had the tray before me… I really didn’t want to get swine flu from communion…
I took it though, even though the germ-a-phobe in me was screaming! Is it wrong to being your own communion from home in case of a pandemic?
I’ve laughed at so many of these comments. But Trish, you win. That story is absolutely hilarious. I think you deserve a free book from Jon. Good stuff! (Jon- I also think you need to do a “best of comments” post again.)
Oh, and as far as best quality communion bread goes King Hawaiian Sweet Bread is the best! We have crackers at our church, but whenever we go on a mission trip, we take King’s Hawaiian with us for communion.
Plus it’s very soft, so it’s easy to tear a piece off without throwing the whole loaf to the ground!
Is it bad to want seconds? Sometimes the homemade bread is appetizing and I try to find the left-overs after communion is over. Does that make me a horrible person?
Jeff,
I say why not. And if anyone gave you any trouble for it, you could pull the Christian guilt card. Something like “I just really love being close to Jesus” or something….
Does anyone else go to a church where they use the plastic disposable cups and then people leave them in the little cup holders in the pews? And then after the service, the COMPETITION IS ON among the kids to collect as many little cups as they can. If you get the grab-and-stack technique down you can not only resemble Pac-Man, but also fabricate a communion-cup lightsaber and do battle with your friends in the foyer! It’s OK, we’re developing our gifts of service, cleaning up the church!
wv: beadyses–VBS craft where you fashion Bible characters out of pony beads and put them on a keychain. “My Beadyses be chillin with Beadyaron and Beadiriam in the desert!”
@Emily.
“Jes-Its” made me laugh out loud. Although I am feeling a little guilty b/c now all I can think about is those stupid “Cheeze-Its” commercials that ask how do they get so much cheese into one little cracker.
How do they get so much Jesus into one little cracker.
I’m not saying it’s right to think it but it makes me chuckle.
I have experienced many different churches in communion. Mostly, I have done the pass-in-the-pew-grape-juice-and-styrofoam-hole-punch-wafer-wait-and-we-all-take-it-together version.
One time, I was in a church in Deep Ellum in Dallas. (I don’t think the worship team wore shoes, and I think there may have been real modern-day hippies there.) They passed around a tortilla and GRAPES!! You tear off a piece of the tortilla and then you pull a grape of the bunch handed to you. It was really different, but it was still the same. There was still a reverence about it.
One of the comments asked why we (protestants) didn’t believe in transubstantion. My understanding of this, because I was not raised Catholic, is that we believe the wine and bread to be a representation of the blood and body of Christ and not that it supernaturally becomes the body of Christ as is believed with transubstantiation. By doing communion we are remembering and acknowledging the sacrifice He made for us, just like you are. We consider what the elements represent as much more important than the elements themselves (forgive my ignorance, that statement was not intended to be offensive). We don’t consider the elements themselves to be holy at all, but the act of communion is more about taking a moment to acknowledge and remember the holiness of what Jesus did. Ours does not cleanse our sin, but reminds us of our salvation. Kind of like celebrating an anniversary. We aren’t retaking the vows, but acknowledging the importance of when we did and why. In our services, we could use cola and a skittle if that’s all we had. So it’s different, but it’s still a reverent act of worship for us.
What about Communion Juice Whiplash? Why do people insist on holding their head all the way back to drain the .75 oz of juice when they can just tip the cup? And when the entire church drinks at the same time notice how all the heads jerk back at the same time.
My minister’s daughter (10 or 11 years old) drove with me to take my sister to O’Hare one sunny afternoon. We lived down state and she was good company on the drive back. We were looking around the airport gift shop when she wanted to show me the perfect gift for her father–his own Cubs communion cup. How do you explain to a tee-totalling Baptist minister’s daughter what a shot glass is?
My friend became a Christian in college. His first Protestant communion was with a “loaf” (or whaterver the right word is) of unleavened bread. He broke off half of the bread and sat there chomping on it. I was laughing so hard I almost fell out of my chair! Not missing a beat after the service he said, “I’m too full to eat anything at the potluck!”
I am laughing!! This is the first post I have read of yours and I am HOOKED! Your humor is just what a weary mom needs to keep going through the day. I will be back daily!!
Boy, this sure makes me feel nostalgic for Episcopal Communion, where one learns to sip carefully and someone handily wipes the edge of the chalice after each communicant. Don’t even get to crumbs….
As to transubstantiation and various beliefs, I’m glad people mention it, as it led me to find an interesting piece here http://preview.tinyurl.com/dld6wa about the whole thing. (The last paragraph in the section brings it all together.)
JMack: I came here for the Tobias reference. I leave satisfied.
Best communion story I’ve heard was about a minister who ran out of grape juice when she was preparing the communion trays. Rummaging in the church kitchen cupboard, she found a box of grape-flavoured drink crystals and mixed up a batch of that instead. She poured the “juice” into the tiny glasses, and then set the trays of glasses aside until they were needed during service. Which was just long enough for the jello to set, because that’s what the powder actually was.
I think I read this story in the church magazine, so it must be true, right?
Thankfully us Catholic Christians never saw the need for a tray. Or grape juice. Neither did your great great grandparents. grapejuice was developed in 1869.
This is hilarious and so true! My biggest communion fear is dropping the juice tray. I feel like I have a mini panic attack every time I receive the tray. Thanks for sharing. I may be posting this on my blog as well (to your credit of course:))
Really, Frisbee?
Hilarious
My parents’ church does the Communion Parade, but in an attempt to avoid mass confusion, they post an animated map on the screen with colored arrows indicating the correct flow of traffic to the numerous Holiness Stations spread across the front of the sanctuary. And yet, there’s still the family that insists on walking across the front of the sanctuary (perhaps in an attempt to get to Jesus first and win the Holiness Prize for the day?) thereby creating a traffic jam and ensuing confusion to rival that found in the parking lot* when the service is over. It also places the rest of us law-abiding citizens in the uncomfortable position of trying to remain holy while inwardly cursing them for not following the animated, color-coded map that has been so graciously provided (and thus creating a vicious confess-your-sins-before-you-take-communion circle.)
* This is actually worse than the events in the parking lot because at least out there, you’re in the privacy of your car and only your family knows that you’re raining down fire and brimstone behind that smile and nod.
WV: Hypolorp: A chronic underperformance of the lorp. (See: LORP)
Ah, memories. The church I grew up in did the communion tray pass-around routine as described and I had a lot of similar thoughts. At my church now communion is available for self-serve at the front every Sunday with a monthly corporate communion with loaves of bread. We walk down front to get the sacraments which opens up a whole other set of concerns (such as tripping, holding up the line, the worship team staring at you, wondering if you sat in gum and the whole church is laughing at you, etc).
I always wondered, how do pastors always chew and swallow the bread so fast? It appears they do three chews and then move on to praying for the cup. Meanwhile, I’m still chewing and picking my teeth with my tongue. I wonder if its a trick they learn in seminary. Three chews and swallow… or maybe three chews and then stuff the wad of bread up in your gums. There’s probably even a catchy name for this technique.
At my church, we've got more pews than people. This leave major gaps in the middle of many pews. I tend to sit in the middle of a pew (coming alone, being early, prepping for communion, and not sitting in an assigned seat). I don't know if anyone else at my church has done it, but I have become "The Arm" during the pass-the-plate time. I'll scoot to the edge of my pew bench as the tray is coming across the pew in front of me & pass it from one side of the pew to the other. I'm just saving people from getting up to walk to trays over, or doing the wicked awkward butt-scoot to get close enough to pass to the complete other side of the pew. This takes planning & observation. You can't still be sitting on the edge of your pew bench when the tray is actually in your own row or you'll end up breaking the Communion Tray Etiquette rules…
When my daughter was 4, we switched from a Methodist church to a Lutheran one. Now, Methodists give everyone communion. Lutherans don't-you have to have been confirmed to take communion. So my poor little preschooler got in line with everyone else, went up, and had the tray yanked away from her-because in that church, kids are blessed by the officiant, not given the actual communion. Even a year later, I don't think she quite gets why she gets to have "Jesus Bread" when she's at grandma's church, but not at her church.
And I have to say that I'm just as glad she didn't get the cup, because not only is it wine, it's NOT watered in the slighest-and I'd hate to have had my child spit the blood of Christ across the sanctuary because she expected grape juice.
Ok, so why are people wondering how to take communion, you shouldn’t be taking it unless you have been baptized anyway, there for you would have been to church to see this done…
Just wondering, Is this a Catholic blog or protestant/bible believing?