#549. The Essential Cast of a Great Mission Trip
May 29th by Jon
(If you saw the iBible video recently, then you know Tyler Stanton. He helped write it and was in it. If you’ve attended North Point Community Church at any point in the last 5 years you know Tyler. He’s been in a million funny videos for them. If you went to the West Coast Catalyst you know Tyler. He and Tripp Crosby co-hosted it with Jud Wilhite. To put it mildly, he’s hilarious. As evidenced by this photo of rubber outfits Tripp and Tyler wore at West Coast Catalyst for a skit. When I asked Tyler where they got them he said, “Ebay. We got them a year ago from someone in China for a skit in which we pretend that they make us invisible.” Love it.
I’m a big fan of Tyler. This summer, Tripp, Tyler and I are going to goad each other into doing stand up comedy at some open mic night. Until then, here’s some witty insights from an Atlanta legend.)
The Essential Cast of a Great Mission Trip
It’s mission trip season again, and although there are a million resources that tell you what to bring (passport, fanny pack, hand sanitizer, etc.), no one has really documented the people that are essential to every trip. So as you review the sign-up sheet, make sure the following people are on there. The trip would be incomplete without them.
The Self-Appointed Crew Chief
This guy isn’t the official leader of the trip, but deep down he knows he is the most qualified. He sniffs around, waiting to pounce on any hint of indecision by the trip leader, and make it known that he is really the one in charge.
The Culture Expert
This guy takes advantage of every opportunity to show off the 8 Spanish words he knows. He also thrives on letting you know all the different things you’re doing right this second that are offensive to this culture.
The Mime
There’s always one in the group. This guy brought three extra bags full of costumes, face paint, and Rich Mullins tapes to make sure the mime drama comes to fruition. He spends the vast majority of his time trying to convince the rest of the (oh so hesitant) group that this is a valid and relevant avenue for furthering the Kingdom.
The Hyper-Witnesser
This guy can (and will) manipulate any conversation into a presentation of The Four Spiritual Laws. Don’t you just love Burger King? I used to love wearing those crowns. They were so much more comfortable than…say…a crown of thorns. Hey, speaking of crowns of thorns…
The Drama Queen
This girl somehow manages to suffer from diarrhea, heat exhaustion, and a badly sprained ankle before even getting off the bus. The only time she stops complaining about not being able to bring her hair dryer is when she is complaining about how gross the food is. When a friend confides in her about the deep impact this trip is having on him, she rolls her eyes and responds with “you don’t even know” and one-ups his experience with one of her own.
The Construction Guru
This guy scoffs at your childish attempts to hammer a nail. His favorite way to start a sentence is with “You know if you…” (as in “You know if you hold the nail at a 45 degree angle you won’t continue to embarrass yourself”).
The Photographer
This person holds a deep conviction that capturing action shots of her group is more important than helping provide shelter for Ecuadorian orphans. She manages to go the entire week without picking up a single tool or getting her hands dirty (except for that one time she dropped her lens on the dirt mound).
The Driver
No one has ever been more patronized than this guy. Once people find out his name is Leonard, they obnoxiously refer to him as Leo and slap him on the back every time they exit. He’s not even necessarily part of the group. He just drops everyone off at the appropriate destination and spends the rest of the day at Applebee’s. This poor sap has no idea The Hyper-Witnesser has targeted him as his special project for the week.
The Team Mom
You can spot her giving out band-aids and juice boxes at any given moment. Most of her time on the trip, though, will be eaten up by The Drama Queen, either taping up her ankle or helping her process this new depth of emotion (selflessness) that she’s never before felt.
The Neckers
Their parents made them come on the trip. They only agreed because they were excited about a new place to make out. The rest of The Cast is happy they came for a number of reasons. The Mime thinks this guy would be a great satan in his drama. The Hyper-Witnesser hasn’t been gaining much ground with Leo and sees them as a new target. The Culture Expert likes to let everyone know that’s how they do things in France. And The Photographer knows they’re about to make her Facebook page a lot more popular.
Who did I leave out?
Who else is essential to a mission trip?
And fess up, which one are you?
(For more Tyler, check out http://www.tylerstanton.com/)
Comments
I’m the Upset Stomach. I avoid dairy and meat products the whole trip as much as I can, I take a prophylactic Pepto pill before every meal, I drink tons of water and no soda, but it doesn’t matter – everything I eat gives me gas or… um, let’s say “gas-plus.” I spend half the trip in the bathroom and the other half of the trip trying to hide how much time I’ve spent in the bathroom and/or trying to cover up the smell.
THE BLISTER — you know, the one who shows up when the work is done.
uhoh…..I am now frantically trying to recall if I have ever gone on a trip with you and also figuring out what description I would fall under. a little self conscience?
I do totally agree with these descriptions….but I really would rather not be the person who helped you figure any of these out!
Thanks for keeping the Gaskills in VA laughing!
i love these! Can’t forget about:
The “Aren’t they ADORABLE?!” person- As soon as you walk into the orphanage to check out the work you’ll be doing in the back, she squeals and runs to the nearest child, picking them up, twirling them around and saying “aren’t they ADORABLE?!” or maybe you’re supposed to be building a house for a family and you realize she’s disappeared. only to find her 3 hours later playing soccer with every local child in the street.
give her 5 minutes and she can and will find a child to hang out with.
confession: this is usually me…..
This is great! but what about the crier.. the one who cries not stop over every little thing? Or the home sicker who becomes best friends with the crier because they are sharing the one box of tissue!
Oh and the flirt who’s “mission” is to become the girl or guy at base everyone wants but can’t have.
My all time favorite kid thou is the one who doesn’t know the trip is over when you get back home and still thinks we should all be getting together for lunch the first day back
Wait! You forgot the Designated Worship Leader(DWL). This person is called upon in just about every situation to lead the group in a song or two to prepare the team for the day ahead, regroup after lunch, lift up team morale, provide the missions trip version of “whistle while you work” and don’t forget the 45 minute worship service around the camp fire that half the team doesn’t want to participate in, but the leadership says is absolutely necissary. Yes, the DWL becomes a sort of walking juke box to which team members approach with noncommittal phrases like “Hey, do you remember that song that goes like…” (Which of course the DWL knows, not on purpose though, they just happen to have a knack for melodies and remembering lyrics)and then WHAM “Could you sing it for us? I miss my ipod/radio/cd player/tv so much I can’t live without hearing that song, would you mind?” It’s a shame DWL’s don’t have coin slots because they would make some serious cha-ching in situations like this.
And lets not fail to consider the sad sad day when the guy who plays three guitar chords is also the DWL. Yikes..
oh man. the last mission trip i was on, there was a girl who managed to be the drama queen, the photographer, the self-appointed crew chief, and the culture expert, all in one.
one month with her in a country where i was informed three times a day how she was down to one meal a day because of being vegetarian, that a bee had stung her and swollen up to the size of a grapefruit (it was about the size of a dime, thank you, i have pictures), that her entire family was romanian and she spoke it fluently (i only ever heard her actually speak about 3 sentences in romanian), how tired she was, how she was running out of room on her cf card and needed to borrow mine, etc, etc.
apparently i’m as transparent as glass, as i was reminded by the trip leader that murder was still a sin.
also, tyler, you and tripp were my favorite parts of catalyst west coast. i also think i might have been the only one in my seating area who knew that you were singing No Day But Today from RENT.
I’m late weighing in, but I need to add The Accidental Translator.
This is the person who inadvertently mentions that they’ve taken more than one semester of the local language. Suddenly, for every interaction, they’re positioned between the team leader and the local leader, trying to interpret on the fly with vocabulary that was never covered in Spanish class.
Don’t have wirecutters? That’s okay; send the Translator to ask for a pair. She can handle it. After all, she knows how to ask where the library is.
I was the Accidental Translator on my first 2wk mission trip. After taking 5 years of Spanish, I knew more of the language than anyone else in the group, including a couple of the long-term workers. I was FLOUNDERING, but everyone thought I was an expert.
Two in-church testimonies, three door-to-door witnessing appointments, and one entire sermon translation later, I was more fluent than I EVER would have gotten in class.
To this day, I have no idea what I said to those people. I hope at least some of it made sense.
Certified drama queen. Feels good to say it. Funny how everyone seems to be the mom or the photographer
The harmonizer- this person had an OK voice the first time you heard the song and it was a touching moment during devotion but throughout the trip it becomes more and more a more dramatic and you never want to hear Awesome God again. (this person has the amazing ability to find an inappropriate moment and seize the day to bring unity with a song)
Howdy! My name is Anne-Geri’ Fann and a friend forwarded me this post. I laughed so hard I nearly blew my bottled water across my brand new monitor. I would LOVE to link this post to my website: http://www.getreadyformissions.com if you don’t mind! It’s fantastic and “MUY” appropriate!!! Thanks for seeing the big picture and posting it in an excellent, humourous way!
@Anne – post away… I’d be honored.
Can a parenthetical statement be as long as the two paragraphs?
What about Eternally Thankful Guy?
"Oh sure, Jeremy lost his ring finger the first time he used the table saw but lets just be thankful a) he didn't lose his hand and b)it brought us closer together as a group as we gathered in prayer while watching him almost bleed out…which he didn't b/c THANKS BE TO GOD, he answers prayer."
well im a little late on this post but i thought id offer my experiences:
The "That" Guy – when something goes wrong it's always "that" guy. he's the one that trys to pull pranks but doesnt end up doing it. he's the one that didnt shower the whole trip, the one that forgot his underwear and the youth leader had to run out and buy some at the closest Walmart, he's the guy that's there "for the ladies"
he's not really useful when trying to get something done, but he keeps everyone happy
So true! I'm a little late commenting here, but… I would add The Snob- the girl who would never speak to you in "real life" but suddenly becomes your BFF on the trip.
I was the necker/photographer, and as someone else said, the crier!
I was always what someone named the Disaster. I was never upset, and never let it get to me, but well, here is an example from my last 48 hours in Peru (this was June 30-July 1). In that time I experienced:
- A holiday in the rainforest that shutdown everything that is worth seeing.
- A surprise in which my flight back from Iquitos was moved to 3 hours earlier.
- The worst strike Lima has had yet. It included rocks through taxi windows, bombs in downtown, and no functioning bus services, leaving me stranded in the Poorest area of the city (1 hour from the airport) 6 hours before my international flight.
- A cancelled flight to the US.
Anyway, an important person that I was surprised to find wasn't in any of comments was The Kid Who is Way Too Young to be Allowed out of the Country Without Genuine Parental Supervision. There is always one. And the most interesting part of this character is that they comprise about six of the worst combinations of the other characters, but each is some new, annoyingly unique combination. A few of the essential characteristics though, is the incessant ability to talk more than anyone thought possible, and the gift of lacking any hint of common sense. They always make the trip interesting and amaze the locals (who always explain that they didn't know it was possible to talk so much while breathing so little).
Oh, I'm the photographer all the way.
Of course I actually do work and don't mind dirt, but I take a million pictures.