#563. Keeping at least one non believer friend around strictly for witnessing purposes.
Jun 18th by JonThat is horrible! I can’t even believe I wrote that. But I did and I did because it’s true. The last thing you want is to find yourself walking out of an amazing sermon about witnessing without someone to go witness to. Sure, you can always find strangers on the street or at the coffee shop, but that’s hard. That’s Ph.D. level witnessing right there. You can’t jump to the big leagues right away. You need to work your way up to approaching people at the mall with the life changing message of Jesus.
So keep a ringer in your circle of friends. At least one guy that isn’t a Christian but is willing to let you practice witnessing on him. Run your message by him. Work through the salvation story bit by bit until you’ve got it down pat. By practicing with him, you’re exposing him to the gospel message 20 or 30 times. And by being honest about your intent, “I really want to share the love of Christ with other people, can I please tell you about it first?” you avoid that awkward “salvation segue” we often do.
You know the one where we keep steering people back to Jesus regardless of what the conversation we’re having is actually about. “You think the LA Dodgers have a shot at chasing the pennant this year because of the new batting firepower they acquired from the Yankees? It’s funny you say that, because that reminds me, Jesus died for you and wants to cover you with the blood of forgiveness.”
Let’s stop doing that. Not stop witnessing, clearly that’s not what I’m saying. But sometimes when sharing the gospel isn’t about sharing the insane love we’ve been given from Christ with someone else that we love it looks like while the people we’re witnessing to are talking, we’re internally thinking, “Waiting, waiting, waiting, come on, just pause long enough for me to yell ‘Jesus!’ One deep breath, that’s all I’m asking for, you take one long inhale and I am going to gospel you like you’ve never been gospelled before. Waiting, waiting, waiting.”
I’m not sure Jesus was like that. He didn’t seem to do things that way in the Bible. When a woman touched him while he was walking through a crowd in Luke 8 and He felt the power go out of Him, He didn’t say, “Sweet, I healed that lady and didn’t even have to make eye contact with her. That might be the world’s fastest healing. I should just run through the crowd and high five heal everyone like an NBA player coming through the tunnel of fans at a game.”
He stopped. Even as He was on his way to heal someone’s dying daughter. He stopped and made time for the person that needed him. He didn’t do drive by witnessing. And neither should we, which is why it’s always good to keep at least one non believer around to practice on.
p.s. I don’t have all the answers, especially when it comes to a topic as hotly debated as witnessing and this will hopefully be one of those posts where the comments challenge/shape/grow what I think about the topic. So what does witnessing look like to you? What does sharing the gospel look like to you?
Comments
It's tough when you work in the church to make real friends that are not christians. I have often found it necessary to get my christian friends re-saved in order to practice efficiently. Example. "You were HOW old when you got saved??? Do you really think at that young an age you are capable of making such a radical decision? Let me tell you about a Jewish carpenter I know.."
To find the right balance, I think you have to look at the phrase Jesus used in his instruction, where the phrase "witness" comes from. He said "you shall BE my witnesses", not 'do my witnessing'. What's a witness? Someone who watches, sees, experiences. Gotta start there. Second, they are sometimes called on to share what they saw. So the focus is on experiencing Jesus first-hand, then secondly when called for talking about your personal experience (not some canned lines or tract – ugh). Non-Christians, does the idea of a friend telling you about their personal faith experience seem offensive or intolerant? I love to hear others of different religions talk of their faith, and learn of their worldview, even if they never ask about mine.
A second thought for our non-Christian friends: a religion worth following is one you are 100% convinced of. And if your Christian friend is 100% convinced there is an afterlife and only one way to get the good afterlife, even if you think he's misguided doesn't it show love rather than arrogance that he'd want to discuss it with you? That's what makes the idea of "tolerance" so troublesome to the Christian: it is a core belief that there is only one answer (Jesus was quoted as teaching that). (I personally hate the concept of tolerance, as it suggests begrudging acceptance, versus open-armed love- ie I tolerate my flu shot each autumn.) so a gentle correction to anon 9:15; Jesus didn't teach tolerance, but you are correct that he taught compassion and always love for everyone (regardless of beliefs!).
Just wanted to comment after reading some of the posts about the need to overtly witness with words.(eg anon@11.01). Many people here have argued the case both ways ("with words" or "by lifestyle") so I'm not going to do that. But I can't help feeling that how we ourselves came to follow Jesus will influence how we witness to others and I want to give a quick bit of testimony.
I became a Christian 7 years ago at the age of 37. I was a hardened cynic about Christianity and although I believed in God, it was in a very distant way. Then, my husband's lapsed faith got fired up and he started going to church. At first I ridiculed him horribly although secretly I was impressed by the change that had come over him and I wished I could believe that strongly myself. That felt impossible though – I saw it as brainwashing that he'd received as a child. Anyway, his quiet determination to follow his belief and the way he responded so calmly when I verbally attacked him witnessed to me enormously and I began to search and seek. I puzzled over how he could believe certain things and he would just say "have a read of one of the gospels – you'll see there that's what Jesus said". I started reading Matthew and was convicted. After some time, my eyes were opened to my cynicism/superiority and I felt really bad about it and the walls I put up with people. I ended up praying to God that He would change me and my cycnicism (no conventional "sinner's prayer"!). I didn't expect anything to happen but immediately He gave me a gift of faith. Suddenly I believed. I am a psychologist and I can't explain that! ANyway, later there was plenty of time to get to grips with Christian doctrine and to understand it all more fully. The key part of my conversion was the challenge and offence of seeing my husband live his life in a new way and that he did not overtly try to get me to believe anything. He left it to the Holy Spirit and me.
So now I am uncomfortable with aggressive witnessing. I have many non-Christian friends and the main thing for me is that they know about my faith and they can be quietly challenged by what that means for our friendship and for them.
I have been reading a book titled "Irresistible Evangelism" and it focuses on developing a relationship with people and not looking at them as a "project." People hate that! And it talks about figuring out where people are spiritually to determine how to approach someone. Like on a golf course, you use different clubs depending upon where the golf ball lies. Same with people, we need to use different "clubs" depending upon where people are in relation to God.
Hi Matt! Totally agree with the label thing. When I know someone's name, I don't refer to them by what they are or aren't. That would be like me saying, "hey, here's Anna, my brown haired, hispanic, non-christian friend." That would be ridiculous not to mention offensive. However, when referring to a non-descript group, I do use the term "non-christian". I feel like it's less harsh than the word heathens
Plus, I don't think half the population knows what the word heathens means 
Carrie,
I though 'heathen' meant; 'ruggedly handsome and intelligent guy who's also very modest'
Have I been wrong all these years!?
Oh, and tell your non-blonde, non-black, non-Christian friend, whatever her name isn't, that she should wear a name badge.
JESUS SAVED
Who is this catholic/christian "jesus"?
http://asimpleandspirituallife.blogspot.com/2008/07/who-is-this-christian-jesus-truth-is.html
That post was spot-on. And then I read the comments, and yikes. Sometimes the whole Christian Culture is ugh, ugh, ugh.
What makes it interesting to me is that since moving to the West Coast, I have found more "non-believers" (hate that term, too) who are friendlier, more caring, more involved in their community, care more for the environment, engage their brains, lend a hand, give to the poor, blah blah blah, than many of the "believers" I've known most my life. Have they said the Magic Prayer? Ha.
I have no answers. Only questions. Like this one.
God didn't come up with the "Romans Road." Man did. Hypothetically speaking, what if someone would have chosen Matthew 25:31-46 instead as the Secret Code To Get Into Heaven? The one that would be printed in all the tracts? Then who would be the sheep and who would be the goats and who would REALLY need to be "witnessed" to?
"Pure And Undefiled Religion"
"Pure religion and undefiled before G-D The Father is this, to visit the fatherless (those children who know not The Only True G-D, Father(Creator) of ALL) and widows(those who have not "experienced The Messiah and The Power{Our Father} that raised Him from among the dead") in their affliction and to keep oneself uncontaminated by the world……." (James 1:27)
Simply, all other religion is impure and defiled…….
And notice that "pure and undefiled" religion is "oneself(individual)", a Brother or Sister doing The Will of Our Father, led of The Holy, Set Apart, Spirit…….
Pagan "religion" is corporate…….
And "Brothers and Sisters" is not "religion", for what are Brothers and Sisters if not Family? Would not The Family of The Only True G-D, Father(Creator) of ALL, "The Body of The Messiah", be much closer than a natural, fleshly family?
What is declared to be "religion" today is truly the devil's playground…….
Simply, Faith will not create a system of religion…….
Hope is there would be those who take heed unto The Call of The Only True G-D to "Come Out of her, MY people"!
For they will "Come Out" of this wicked world(babylon) and it's systems of religion, into "the glorious Liberty of The Children of The Only True G-D".
They will no longer be of those who are destroying the earth(land, air, water, vegetation, creatures)" and perverting that which is Spirit(Light, Truth, Life, Love, Peace, Hope, Faith, Mercy, Grace, Miracles, etc.).
Peace, in spite of the dis-ease(religion) that is of this world and it's systems of religion, for "the WHOLE(not just a portion) world is under the control of the evil one" (1John5:19) indeed and Truth…….
Truth is never ending…….
thedestructionoftheearth.wordpress.com
???!
As one of the few atheists in a Christian town, it is not unusual for me to be approached or called with a "There's something I want to tell you" from one of my friends. It seems very much like they have something they need to get out of their systems. It's kind of cute.
I grew up knowing the Lord but got mixed up with drugs & alcohol when I was 17…I am now 26…..it truly made me someone I didn't like. I people-pleased and got myself into an overworking, over"friending" mess…..I found God in the midst of all this in a relationship with a non-believer. I ended the relationship and since all my friends are interrelated I am in a bit of a mess….most of them are non-believers. I want to pursue my faith but in doing so others are taking it as I've judged them and they're not used to the "non-partier beth"….the real "friendly-but-shy&caring" beth has come back into the picture and she is LOSTTTTT and trying to pray for God to show her the way!
Confused in Taxasschusetts,
-Me