SCL

What about that exasperating parent of one of the youth that comes along for trips?

What about the kid who "you know" struggles with homosexuality and he/she doesn't yet; or maybe he/she knows there is something different about themselves and is TERRIFIED to name it OR is "out" and does not care who knows it. When we are loved and encouraged in our relationship with Jesus we grow to see life differently. Kids helping kids to become Holy, Whole and Healthy. Just say'n…

The group of no less than three (3)girls who want to be the best singers in the group, and want you to say so. They're marked by the finger plugging their right ear and multiple lilts of voice in the word "Jesu-u-us" and extra "Mmm-mm-mm"s.

We always had a kid who wanted to pretend to be a drug dealer, and talked like he was tough. Sometimes, he would smoke a cigarette in the parking lot but never inhaled.

I distinctly remember the gigglers. Normally a group of 2 to 3 girls who are very pretty (but unlike Kim, they know they are pretty and work hard at it) and spend much of their time huddled together whispering, pointing at the acoustic guy, and giggling. They are also the go to group when you want someone to suggest a car wash as a fundraiser.

How about this the college student who would make an awesome youth leader and all the kids look up to him and will do whatever he says?
Or the parens every youth group needs – the ones who are so afraid their kids will question something they have said that they become chaperones so they can tell the kids things like, "Good Christians don't date or celebrate Halloween."

What about the mother hen? The girl who may or may not be olderthan her peers, but somehow is always taking care of everyone else? She is there with a plate of freshly-baked cookies, always has a listening ear, sets up and takes down for every event, but rarely participates because she is too busy in the prayer room or waiting to help someone out? At weddings, she is the girl helping the bride pee by holding the train of the gown.

She can usually be found hanging with the adult leaders or the youth pastor. This is your go-to girl, spiritual cheerleader of sorts. This is the girl you ask to pray for you and dump on, but refuse to acknowledge outside of yg sponsored events.

The kid who starts the holding-hands-while-swaying-our-arms-in-the-air during worship at camp.

These are so funny and true!

Haha, right on.

I may have a skewed view because I grew up on a tiny, isolated island with one youth group, so if you were going to a youth group, you went to this one, but I remember the following people. Some of these are more discussion-style archetypes, which may be a different post.

The kid with religious views that were markedly different from the rest of the group – maybe they're Catholic, or much more traditional than the rest of the group, or just had a different upbringing, but there were always a million little ways in which their convictions didn't line up with the majority. A lot of times they were an asset, since they occasionally rivaled the Junior Pastor for scriptural knowledge and provided a different perspective, but were also frequently paranoid (sometimes rightly) that their views weren't accepted by the rest of the group.

Ramblin' Man – This could theoretically be a girl, I guess, but in my group it was me, and I'm a dude. This isn't someone who necessarily is normally talkative, but in discussion times has an enormously difficult time being succinct, apparently lacking the ability to detect the point at which other people have got the point. Elaborate, expand, build up an analogy, develop side points, weave back around. This isn't someone who's a great speaker or who has tons of wisdom on any particular topic, just someone who can go on and on and on about a minor point. (This is still part of my personality, and I think it probably shows even here.)

Miss/Mister Misreader – This guy/girl is trying, but during discussion time invariably manages to interpret the passage in a way that's pretty transparently not what's intended, and everybody knows it when it happens. It's then up to the rest of the group to be as gentle as possible.

Prayer Bomber – This is the kid whose life is genuinely way harder than anybody else's, and has the courage to bring up some of the issues at prayer request time. It's obviously not their fault, but they make the average teen's prayer concerns look kind of petty. You don't want to be sitting to the immediate right of them during prayer request time.

Bubble Boy/Girl – By accident or design, this kid has managed to make it to their teens without being exposed to… well, anything, really. This may look like simply missing every pop culture reference ever, or manifest as general naivete about people that are different.

The kid who has apparently never met a non-believer – Sure, they've heard that there are people out there that aren't Christians, but they've never actually encountered one, persay. Usually this manifests as a series of really strange beliefs about what non-believers are like. Sometimes this includes the belief that any given nonbeliever is very likely to have a strong predilection towards loose living or that unbelievers can't possibly have any real moral sense. Additionally, they have extraordinarily bizarre mindsets that, in addition to predisposing them towards evil, also make them susceptible to witnessing techniques that otherwise would seem pretty shaky, like the bait-and-switch.
("Believing that non-believers have totally alien mindsets, motivations and ways of thinking" could probably be its own post.)

Kristen – growing up in the UK we had the same kind of worship leader types, but they usually affected an American accent. Bizarre.

Also there's the girl with the neverending emotional issue(s), if you're wondering who's crying at youth service/camp/mission, it's her.

And the serial-re-dedicator. Expect to see this guy up at the front after every single altar-call.

I haven't read all of the comments, so forgive me if this has already been said. But you can't leave out the kid with the horrendous body oder. The one who showers once every couple weeks and thinks he doesn't need deodorant even though we all know he really does.

this post is hysterical. I'm only 19 so my youth group memories are still nice and fresh, and you nailed it. I think the only entity missing is the youth praise team. they're cool, they're musical, but they don't know what to do when confronted with the term "syncopation" and they're pretty sure that practice is optional. Oh, and they never think to bring extra guitar strings to missions trips abroad. oops! all sarcasm aside, I loved my youth praise team. Even when I had to yell at them.

I always liked the AXE Body Spray Kid- He never smelled bad, if you don't think that AXE body spray smells bad.

The College Bound Kid- This is the kid (usually a girl) that would not stop talking about what schools she was applying for, what schools her older siblings went to, what schools we should all pray that she would get into, etc. She also talked about the sorority that she would join, wear the Kappa Kappa Gamma shirts to youth night, and practice sorority life on the weekends, usually in the woods, around a camp fire, with "Sweet Home Alabama" as the soundtrack and Miller High Life as the beverage of choice.

The "Give God the Glory" Athlete- This is the kid that has fallen madly in love with himself. He gets praise from every one he runs into because he is such a good athlete. He is always telling people what his fastest time is, or the number of touchdowns he scored last Friday night. Whenever someone starts talking about how God gives us our talents, he takes a stab at humility saying something about God giving him strength or speed, but it comes off as just another way to talk about how awesome he thinks he is.

The Flake- This was me. I was about as shallow as a Texas creek in mid-July. This guy does anything he can to be viewed as the model for coolness. In my case, I went to the tanning bed, got highlights(!), bought $85 packpacks from the outdoorsman shop each year, and dated the Prom Queen. Given this level of awesomeness, you can imagine I was a powerhouse Christian as well. I judged everyone by my standard of holiness and cleaned house at youth gatherings, weeding out the people that I thought were hypocrites. This made me even cooler looking. My wife said to me yesterday, "I don't know how I ended up marrying you. When I first met you, you were such a D bag."

I personally would like to speak up for all the other girls who hate that pretty girl guy magnet. And she doesn't know she's pretty? Yeah, right. She's the same girl who knows the perfect time to produce tears during a mission trip or camp devos so the guys can comfort her. In the Christian world the guy who comforts the pretty crying girl is just rounding first base.

Of course there's always the guy who can be counted on to publically confess his lust for girls in the group. Every youth group has one of these guys. When I was in high school there was a guy in the group who made it known he could never be accused of lust because he always imagined he was married to the girl before…well, you know.

So much Homeschool love! *laughs*

I defiantly second the "super competitive chunky kid" and "the kid who would eat whatever" entries.

I'll add the "overly spiritually at camp than totally heathen back home" kid.
They seem so genuine when we're all singing Chris Tomlin…

Great post.
Defiantly made me miss my days in Youth. For about 3 seconds. ^_^

great stuff jon! i've been working with youths for many years, so it hits home. haha.

there's also always a clown in the group who is funny and is willing to do the stupid things to make people laugh.

there's also the ridiculously beautiful girl that DOES know it and knows all the guys are after her.

Oh, I forgot to talk about me. I was the kid that knew what legalistic hang ups my leaders had and then constantly threw it in their faces that I didn't agree and was violating their holy preferences. I was such a little dill weed.

The alter call kids that like to extend youth group for another hour or so. Meanwhile the rest of us sitting in the chairs still try to figure out when is an appropriate time for the Spirit to stop moving and leave quietly.

Don't forget the youth group princess, who always gets her way and has the lead in every skit or song and gets to lead worship for real church services when she's 14 just because her dad is the youth pastor. There's not any lingering resentment there…

What about the youth group intern that flirts with the girls all summer and gets college credit for it?

Then the day after his internship ends…, well….I think I kissed one of these once upon a time….

What about the youth group intern that flirts with the girls all summer and gets college credit for it?

Then the day after his internship ends…, well….I think I kissed one of these once upon a time….

>The super athletic kid who imposed his will in any and every sport.

>The kid who thinks he is funny but actually isn't. No one's brave enough to tell him that he's not funny, so he keeps trying.

The kid that answers rhetorical questions out loud.

Nothing like some reflective questions that the kid takes as an opportunity to answer out loud in the middle of your message.

when i was in youth group, there was always "the girl that wished she was in the praise band". by that i mean she would sing louder than the band…without a microphone…just to prove she should be up there.

The movie buff – the kid who spends every single van/bus trip quoting every line from every movie ever made. This kid may or may not also be the song buff.

Song buff – much like the movie buff, he/she apparently knows every worship song, every TV show theme song, every Disney song, and pretty much every song ever written, and insists on singing every one of them on every single trip.

The square peg in a round hole – the kid who, for whatever reason, never quite fit in.

The daredevil – will eat, smell, touch, or do anything and everything that will make him or her the center of attention. May also be the mascot.

Me: I was a combination of #6 and the square peg (there's probably a correlation there)

Ha, that's brilliant, but I also loved checking out the guy with a guitar post, which I hadn't seen before. THANK YOU for speaking for many, many of us. Obviously I'm not a guy … but I am a pianist and I have a good ear for tuning – which makes most of those people detestable to me!

The stealth – the kid no who ever thought would/could do anything crazy or daring, until that one time…(this kid also makes the perfect prankster, since no one will ever suspect it). Yeah, that was also me

Regular Joes: I was related to the "athletic brothers". No they weren't twin. Yes, that did split them up.

Nic: I'm still laughing over the "project kid" one. It's so true, it's ridiculous.

Jon: Your "Jeep/Shorts/Guitar Guy" story basically made my day.

How about the "Shoulder Massage Kid"?

Did I just hang out in a weird youth group, or did everyone else have that one guy that liked to give all the girls a shoulder massage/ back rub?

You have to throw in the youth-group-couple-that-breaks-up-and-gets-back-together-several-times.

What about the group of middle school girls who were in love with (and could feel the Holy Spirit calling them to marry…) the high school boys? I wasted many a bulletin writing "Mrs. Megan [insert Boy-of-the-Week's last name here]"…

In response to number 4, my pastor's daughter once introduced me to her friend at camp once by saying, "This is Kristin. She's not a PK…But she's still cool."

The Jesus freak, aka the dude that will probably scream Jesus at a concert. you know the type.

The obnoxious kid who didn't want to be there but had to be there because his/her mum was a youth group leader.

And I'll put in a second vote for the gigglers. Snowberrylife's description gave me an instant flashback.

Aw man, these comments were so great. I can see a little bit of myself in some of these descriptions.

When I was in youth group, I was the girl who desprately wanted to be apart of the "cool kids" group, but I wasn't (My youth group was divided into two factions: the cool kids, and everyone else). I had a lot of emotional issues due to my parents divorce and problems at home, but I put on a good face most of the time. I was a faithful member of the worship team (bonus: I can actually sing! And play a little piano) I went on every trip/retreat/camp, and usually ended up bawling my eyes out at the altar at least once during these events (like I said, I had a lot of emotional issues). Since I wasn't in the cool kids group, I developed a close relationship with my youth pastor and his wife (they really stepped in and supported me when my parents split). I was well liked by everyone in the group, even the cool kids who didn't seem to want to associate with me very much.

Yeah, I think I was the sweet girl who everyone liked. And who could sing, and had a crush on one the guys on the worship team, lol.

Controversial kid – has slightly different views than everyone else and perpetually attempts to insert/assert these views at inopportune times. Challenges pastor's statements in a vague kind of way. Loves politics. Usually nasally-voiced, gangly.

And the Drama-Queen? Her stories are just truthy enough to obligate everyone to taker her seriously, but so full of crazy drama that you aren't sure is she's just trying to make you cry.

Jon…
Hilarious man. As a youth pastor I can definitely say you nailed it. I think #12 would be "The B.O. kid that is always giving everybody hugs."

There's one more… s/he's almost like the ordained one. But… they are also the hippy. They're the ones that wear the strange clothes, ask if the paper's recycled and is often vegetarian. They say things like 'hip'. You swing between love this cool cat and hating him for making you feel like a worldly consumer.

we had a guy who insisted on bringing cans of smelly sardines on every.single.trip and would fill the church van with their noxious smell. *hoarf*

Florida here-apparently more than just you got the email about needing a thriving youth group here because as the mother of 2 teens I am here to tell you theres slim pickins in youth groups here. Oh yeah-there ARE youth groups, just not any that seem to REALLY want to minister to kids. Oh it is sad-breaks my heart sometimes. But your descriptions are right on!

The youth group I went to in middle school only had two categories–

The beautiful, popular girls and the handsome, popular guys who all flirted with/dated each other, and

Me, the geeky kid everyone ignored, except for the youth leaders, who occasionally referred to me as the Silent One.

Yes, I'm still bitter.

The youth group I went to in high school was a bit more dynamic. There was:

The kid with all the piercings, who lived in his parent's garage.

The giggly middle school girls, who wore designer clothes and perfectly applied makeup.

The lovesick high school freshman girls, who wore hand-me-downs and weren't allowed to wear makeup yet.

The Comedian Brothers, the older of which dated all the girls.

The ADD brothers.

The cheerleader who only had time to come once a month due to all the extracurricular activities she was involved in, but when she did come she always brought 15,000 friends.

The group of kids who all had the same first name and would round up every single kid at school who had that particular first name and bring them all to youth group with them (they still make me laugh).

The Drummers.

The kid who got on everyone's nerves, and sang that song nonstop on road trips.

His friend who came with him who he claimed was his girlfriend, but who always claimed otherwise when he wasn't listening.

The Homeschool family who always wore matching, home-sewn clothes.

The kids who looked about five years younger than they actually were and everyone always wondered what they were doing at youth group.

And of course, the group of boys who could be counted on to find the dangerous/sharp/long/hard objects and chase each other around with them.

All of them were absolute sweethearts. ) I love that group.

You forgot those two 12 year old girls who don't stop giggling for the entire 24 hour lock-in, though no one ever finds out why they're laughing.

Jeep guy's friend or "buddy" in this case. He rides in the jeep, often hangs off the back, yells things like "Rock ON!" or "In yer FACE!" and definitely owns a water balloon launcher. Without, him, Jeep guy would have no one to "high-five" after inserting "That's what she said…" into whatever the youth pastor is saying.
i.e.:
Pastor- "This is my body…"
Jeep Guy-"That's what she said." Buddy-"Rock ON!" (slap!)

I knew a #3 *sigh* Natalie never did pay much attention me…

You forgot the Leader Kid. The one that takes charge of every situation, he hasn't been appointed the leader by anyone but himself. He can either do a good job at leading or be a pushy, bossy sod who likes to argue.

The fat kid that finds an excuse to get out of anything that involves running/ exercising / standing for too long.

The Sympathizer. The person that treats anyone with any kind of injury like a two year old with a boo boo.

The kid that feeds off the Sympathiser

The homeschoolers who won't engage in the heathen activities of dancing or singing anything but Hymns. My version wore shorty shorts, a shirt handed down 3 siblings, no shoes whenever possible and one of those hats with the flap on the bag to shade you neck. He was a good bloke though.

i knew no one with a jeep at church, but everything else was dead-on. and yes, let us not forget the five siblings who were homeschooled.

oh, and the girl who complains and cries too much about life. sure, you feel pity, and offer to pray for her….but after the 60th time, you realize she's probably just dramatic and/or wanting attention.

The kid with the endless supply of prayer requests. Always has an aunt, sister, neighbor, cousin, friend, in the hospital, dying, out-of-work, pregnant, going on a mission trip… Enjoys playing "My Prayer Request is Much More Serious & Urgent Than Yours." You can tell he's running out of requests and feeling desperate when he offers up people from the local and national news as prayer requests. "I really think we need to pray for Matsuzaka. He just got taken out of the lineup and they think there might be something wrong with him physically and well, I don't think he's a Christian, so…."

If this kid is in your small group prayer time after large group, pick a comfortable chair. You'll be there for awhile.

I agree with Stacy from Louisville (go Cardinals!) that the pretty girl KNOWS she's pretty. Oh, yeah.

I was the crying girl. Lexapro has made a world of difference.

A lot of comments on the guys who date all the girls…what about the girls who date all the guys, interpret "date" how you will…?

In our youth group in central Texas, there was also the "spit their chewing tobacco surreptitiously in a cup and then spill the cup all over the church bus" crowd. Just a little regional flair.

What about the unkempt fat kid who has an asthma problem, and laughs uncontrollably at every joke.

One kid would crack a joke starting the laughing, that would bring on an attack…oh yeah, did I mention,he was the farting kid too! He'd be turning red, gasping for air then he'd fart! Of course, you can see the snowball rolling.

The kids called our kid, "Wonder Boy"!

The kid who dates everyone possible in the group