#591. The things your kid brings home from Sunday School.
Jul 30th by JonA few weeks ago my five year old was given a loud New Year’s Eve party type plastic horn during Sunday School. I think the horn had something to do with the celebration the prodigal son was thrown when he returned home but I’m not 100% positive because it was hard to hear her explanation over the loud horn blowing she was doing in the church hallway. And then in the parking lot. And then in the car. And then in our kitchen. Needless to say, when she took a nap, I Houdini’d that horn out of our house never to be seen again.
But it got me thinking, what other Sunday School items send instant dread into me? The horn is a starter, but what other things should never, ever be given to kids in Sunday School? If only there was a comprehensive, yet short, list, perhaps called:
Things we should never give kids in Sunday School:
1. Marshmallows
I feel like we already voted on this, goldfish crackers are the official snack of Sunday School, but occasionally my five year old will emerge from class with a Dixie cup full of marshmallows. She tends to pack for the road, and never eats the snack in the class but instead enjoys eating it in the car while sitting next to her three year old sister who happens to not have a lap full of delightful marshmallows. This is torture. This needs to stop. I can only negotiate so many more marshmallow exchange programs in the backseat. Let’s stick with goldfish please, the marshmallow is too delicious and volatile of a snack for a Sunday morning.
2. Wet paint
I don’t know that a Sunday School project is ever really dry. You could probably leave it in the desert, under the relentless glare of the yellow sun for a year and when you returned and picked up the Noah’s Ark painting, some paint would get on your hands. And your shirt and your back seat and your couch at home and eventually your fridge. Granted, most kids are surrealists when it comes to painting and act like they’re making topographical maps they layer on the paint so thick, but let’s lean into crayons hard instead of globs of paint. And not Prang, those things are horrible. Real, honest to goodness crayons. Death to paint. Long live Crayola, even though that “sharpener” thing on the back of the box is useless.
3. Cool things that only one class gets
If the five year old class gets a lamb puppet with a horn nose and the three year old class gets a piece of paper that says, “Jesus Loves You” you might as well send them home with a UFC fighting octagon as well because it’s “go time” at the Acuff house. I don’t want to say that we’re raising little communists, but equality makes the world go round when it comes to kids. Please don’t do some amazing handout or toy or gift for one class and then just give the other kids hugs as the take home.
4. Glitter of any sort
I will write about the horrors of glitter until the die I day, which is also how long the glitter from a Sunday School or Vacation Bible School project will remain in your home. You can’t clean up glitter. It laughs at vacuums, giggles at wet paper towels and somehow multiples like a craft bunny. “Oh, cute, they used blue and pink glitter to design this fish during a story about God creating the world” you’ll think the first time your kid comes home glittered. Think again, because years later when you grab your keys to take your now college aged kid to Freshman orientation your hand will emerge with glitter on it from the junk draw where you keep the keys. Glitter never dies. You’re only hope is to never bring it home, but do you really want to be that guy who throws his kid’s Sunday School project away in a trash can in the hall at church? No you don’t.
That’s my list of things we shouldn’t send home. But what do we want kids to get in Sunday School? Well, I’ve only volunteered twice in our church’s Sunday School classes but do you know what I sent those kids home with? Exhaustion.
I ran them like they were on some sort of toddler P90X program. We played chase and tag and cars and princesses until they could barely move. That’s what we should give kids in Sunday School, reasons to have long Sunday afternoon naps. Until the rest of the world subscribes to that theory though, please just promise me no more marshmallows.
Comments
Nana2four, I may have just peed my pants a little.
Children's and Youth Ministry… the glitter… the sand art, including foot sandcastings… the pipe-cleaner sculptures…the gallons and gallons of tempera paint… the water balloon fights (one of which coincided with the Mothers In Israel High Tea, and ended badly)…the make-your-own tie-dye shirts…the six-foot-tall papier-mache VBS volcano…the custodian taking Many Names In Vain…
LOVE the memories. Highly DOUBT I'd do it again. But I find, as my kids get older, I don't mind the undying glitter quite so much. It's a childhood artifact, and those artifacts get more valuable with time.
wv: nosicroc: a 'gator who can't mind his own business.
when i was a small child in the mid-1980s, i remember making homemade playdough in sunday school. can't remember what the lesson was.
unless, of course, it was "don't eat playdough"
but it was made with koolaid and smelled fantastic, of course i would put it in my mouth.
Sweet Fancy Crocodile Dundee! The kids just got out their stuff from VBS last night and they made BOOMERANGS. Send help.
At my previous church the nursery worker insisted on giving the kids in the nursery (yes, I said nursery) doughnut holes. And when parents told him not to, he said he couldn't resist and was going to anyway.
Now we are part of a house church (not in any way related to the doughnuts, I promise!), and the biggest problem is the kiddos eating too much bread from the Lord's Supper before we have lunch.
This list is awesome!
Now I have special craft ideas for my 1st and 2nd graders whose parents constantly forget to pick them up from Sunday school.
A replica of the Tower of Babel made entirely of marshmallows, a glitterful map of the stars to illustrate Abraham's descendants, or maybe a mural of the nativity scene…finger painted.
Thanks!
^Response to 2nd comment above/SCL Suggestion^
Now THERE'S an idea for another SCL post: "Being tempted to pillage communion foodstuffs." Because seriously, nearly every Sunday, by the time I get out of the building my parents and I are starving. The real oddity of it is that sunday lunchtime doesnt mess with the normal eating schedule, yet we still end up this way.
Perhaps communion should still be a FULL MEAL (church members, be ready to up your tithe to cover this) so that everyone doesn't go home hungry (and irritated).
I spend a lot of time, energy and sometimes money planning lessons, crafts, and snacks that teach kids like yours biblical lessons in a safe, fun environment.
I usually avoid glitter but sometimes the right craft is a little messy. If you think it's annoying to scrub glue and glitter off of your kids, think about the mess left in the classroom that they teacher cleans up.
It's often a thankless job and it doesn't help when a parent shows up to pick up their child complaining about the messy craft I spent a ridiculous amount of time planning or the cupcakes you baked because it's another child's birthday.
Sometimes people treat Sunday School as if it's a childcare center. But I still remember my preschool Sunday School teacher. And all of the ones after her. They invested a lot of time and energy in me and I grew up knowing that when I went to church, I was not only going to learn a Bible story, I was going to a place where I felt safe and loved. I knew that my teachers cared about me. They lived out their faith by investing in me, and their influence continues in my life.
So when I am faced with the choice between fun and parent-pleasing/mess-free crafts, I choose the fun ones because my teachers did. And I still remember them.
Hahahahahaha……I teach the high schoolers and they still love goldfish. As a matter of fact, when stressed I enjoy a handful of goldfish. Why? Because its the end all of childhood snacks!! When the world around us crumble and everything changes, all we have is Jesus and goldfish. Why mess with this age old security blanket?
Wait–Song of Solomon in Sunday school class, Stacy?
Heheheh. Good one!
I like glitter. However, since our "Sunday school" classes are in the school building, yep, kids taught there during the week, I am responsible for leaving the floor, desks, tables, etc in the pristine condition I wish they were in when I arrived. That said, no glitter…
One week at our church the kids came out of their classes with long, pointy objects. I can't remember if they were swords or fishing rods. But ohmygoodness! What are they going to teach the next week….how Jesus cured all the blind children.
I teach kids church every three months and this past week I gave them bubbles.
Thank you Michaels arts and crafts for your dollar days.
for a while our youth rooms were giving the kids huge pixie sticks (pure sugar)…not the small ones but the huge ones 18'' long ones! I saw some not too pleased parents. why not just line them up, play drinking games and have them do shots of expresso before they go home?!! that ended pretty quick…
Oh, glitter. The meanest practical joke I ever heard of was a friend of mine that dumped glitter in a guy's underwear and sock drawer. Seriously, don't get on her bad side. She has no mercy!
Made my husband read this as I was reading it whilst we were watching something and well, could NOT suppress my laughter!
ha ha ha
I think the worst thing we ever got sent home with us is plants. You know, the little seed that you sprouted in a styrofoam cup to learn about growing in God's word or something equally applicable. Plants however are problems. Either you take them home, they die, and crying, name calling and finger pointing ensue. OR (and this is really the worse option) it's such a hearty and robust plant (read 'weed') that it lives and you HAVE to plant it outside and the Morning Glory (the only thing that grows fast enough won't die) grows all over the place taking over your entire yard and costing you hours and hours of time and effort to erradicate.
Please, no plants… or animals (yes, baby chicks, but that's another story)
FROGS. This wasn't technically a Sunday School take-home, it was VBS… and it wasn't really a take-home, we had to go buy two frogs and keep them for the last day of VBS, when they were entered into a frog race of some sort. I'm not sure what the biblical angle was, but there were plenty of churchy jokes about the plague of frogs. And then when it was all over, we had two frogs. To keep.
I also share the aversion to glitter. Between my 2 girls, I've had glitter on my face for about 10 years now. People must think I'm some kind of club kid.
Wonder if your church does the same SS curriculum as mine b/c my child brought home the same type of annoying party noisemaker a few weeks back. I didn't cry when her baby sister broke it later that day….
As a former toddler SS teacher, let me just tell you that I hear you and feel your pain. I banned all sticky snacks and projects requiring paint and/or white liquid glue (which also never dries. Ever.)And my kids still loved and adored me.
At least that's what their parents told me…
So this wasn't really a "stuff we like" post, but a "stuff we like to hate" post, right?
WV: pingesse- the sound of macaroni against the car windows as your dear child flicks them off withhis fingernail
I vote for the worldwide end of glitter. May it be banned from hallways, church classrooms, drawers, and small hands for all eternity.
When we picked up our 8 year old from church last month he presented us with a baggie filled with water. And a goldfish. Which we had to take with us on our errands and to dinner before we got home.
Then, instead of my Nazarene nap, I went to Target to spend $20 on a tank and filter and bubbler and food.
"Bubbles" is now housed in a place of honor in our living room and the 8 year old wants to take him on vacation with us.
I never did find out what the lesson was that week…
I have my own stash of glitter in various grade of corseness and twenty eight different colors. My kids aren't allowed to touch it, because I want to play with it, I buy them their own. Maybe I never grew up, Oh look shiny…….
Good laugh for us as veteran (25 year plus) Sunday school teachers. The thing that needs to be on your list (sorry, I didn't read all 75 comments, maybe it is there)is a styrofoam cup with dirt and bean seeds with 1" of growth, so the child will NOT want to let it be thrown away. It MUST sit on your windowsill and be watered for the next month.
Oh, and don't forget, it must be watered just before it goes into your car so you will get a nice little mudstain on the carpet of the minivan. (Styrofoam cups need to have drainage holes for optimal growth.)
Thought someone would have mentioned Froot Loop necklaces, with a dangling pendant (not edible) of Jesus or the memory verse. These have been a favorite of our children's ministry. Keeps that sugar high going and going all the way home…
a seed planted in a little pot covered with indistinguishable stamps (wet paint!). Half the soil will be spilled in the car on the way home. Next, the joy of trying to remember to water the seed, which I will do randomly. My young children will become distressed at the sight of the dying plant, and we will resuscitate the plant a number of times before a weekend away finally does the plant in and the children are heartbroken and I am wracked with guilt. I killed a CHURCH plant!
the environmental issues from kids bringing crap home from sunday school always gets me…
As a Sunday school teacher, I have enjoyed reading everyone's comments, and I promise to avoid marshmallows and even goldfish crackers, due to having students with multiple food allergies. I vow never to send home a living thing, be it fish, frog, or plant, and so far I have never sent home anything wet, be it glue or paint (we even let the "air dry clay" oil lamps sit an extra week in the classroom to make sure they were cured). I'm not ordering the curriculum take-home papers this year because I believe neither the children nor their grown-ups read them, but I do have crafts and this year's bunch of kids LOVE to color. Even my soon-to-be kindergartner adored the picture he colored of the feeding of the 5000 and said, "I'm going to put this up in my room!" and by golly he did.
I agree we have a responsibility to make the lessons meaningful, economical, and environmentally sound. Like Jon, I agree that letting them just run till they drop can be a valuable learning tool, so they can see why the disciples needed a little rest after Jesus sent them out by twos, for instance, but letting them have *fun* is also an important matter.
Do we want people to think that Jesus was a killjoy? Does God never smile? Does the Spirit lurk around sullenly, keeping an eye out for a Christian who might be enjoying him or herself? Hinder them not!
There's room in children's ministry for everyone who thinks they could do a better job of it. That might be your calling.
I agree 100% with Leanne's post above: Leanne said…
"As a wise children's ministry mentor told me, "If kids learn nothing in their early childhood classes other than church is a place that they want to be each week, then you have done your job."
I say BRING ON THE GLITTER!!! The more, the better!!! No, it never goes away, but I doubt people who visit a church and see some glitter in a dark corner somewhere are thinking, "Yuck – glitter!" Guaranteed, they're thinking, "This church cares about their kids." This is a good thing. "
(Besides, how can you do a picture depicting the Transfiguration and NOT use glitter?)
Hilarious! On Sunday, I am teaching a bunch of 5-year-olds about Gideon's battle with the Midianites… and I considered buying a bunch of party horns to help illustrate, all the while fighting a lurking doubt in the back of my mind. You have tipped the scales in favor of NOT committing such a foolish act(especially since one of those 5-year-olds– my son– will be coming home with me!). Thanks!
This is too funny. Seriously.
Love glitter, wet paint, wet glue and trying to avoid getting it all over us and the car!
We have a class that has an outer space theme to teach the book of Acts…the kids love it. But the other day I was singing in choir and saw some 3rd graders with antenae in the congregation…guess the aliens landed in that class!
Just over a year ago, I found myself asking the same question. Smoking was making me feel awful and draining quite a bit of money from my pockets.
I've been a Sunday School teacher for a very long time. I work hard to make it a happy place where children have opportunities to encounter God in a relevant way. Sometimes that means making a little mess. It often means hours of preparation and tidying up for a teacher before and after the event.
I hope that parents understand that it's not just about what your children bring home. It is about the attitude you bring with you, a thank you or a word of encouragement goes a long way. If you object to 'messy' crafts or sugary snacks – why not offer to organise snacks for the teacher or provide some suitable craft materials. Just don't complain – do something about it. Be a Timothy – encourage one another.
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