#623. Believing in the magical power of the :)
Sep 22nd by adminIf I had to guess, the inventor of the semi-colon is pretty angry right now. I don’t know who he or she is, I mean I suppose I could look it up on the Internets, but that feels way too close to me googling something grammar related and I swore in the seventh grade that would never happen. (I know, that was before the Internet even existed, but I was always a pretty intuitive lad. I had a gut feeling it was coming, you know?)
And do you know why the inventor of the semi-colon is so bothered right now, why he’s jealous of the inventor of the colon, why he’s somewhere getting drunk with the lady who invented the ampersand and bemoaning his fortunes?
The smiley face emoticon.
Even though I predicted the Internet a decade before it blew up, even I didn’t see that thing coming. When you combine a colon, not a semi but just a regular colon, with a parenthesis, wild things happen. Magically a smile pops up. Look at it, 
, it’s so powerful and tiny.
Big deal, right? There are a million emoticons, we even made a list of Christian emoticons. We all use them in some way. The chat system they put on our computers at work inexplicably has both a sheep and a soccer ball icon you can automatically insert in your corporate chat sessions should you find yourself in need of a “sheep soccer” reference. Who cares about the smiley face? It’s useless. Or is it? I’ve started to notice something lately, whenever someone tells me something difficult or borderline mean, they punctuate their thought with a smiley face.
That small smiley face absolves you of anything hateful or mean or gossipy in the email or text message or tweet you’ve just written. It’s the ultimate Christian get out of jail free card.
I dare say it’s the digital version of “bless her heart.”
We’ve covered that majestic phrase a million times on this site already (it’s what you say when you want to slam someone but not look like you’re in fact slamming someone). But lately I’ve really seen the making a strong showing.
Just the other day a pastor busted on me on Twitter and then threw out a smiley face at the end of his tweet. For the first part of the message I thought, “Ahh, that stinks, that dude doesn’t like me. I hate to read negative stuff about me. Why do I care so much about this stuff? I wish I wasn’t so insecure. Maybe this guy is right, maybe I am horrible.” And I started to get blue, but then I saw the smile at the end of his tweet. “Ohh wait, wait, wait. There’s a little smile at the end of the tweet. Phew, for a second I thought this guy didn’t like me, but those kidney punches at the beginning of his tweet were just to soften me up so that I could receive this hidden hug at the end.”
It’s uncanny really, and I fear the smile face is going to eventually replace my favorite “pretend I didn’t just say that” phrase. I’m of course talking about “I was only joking!”
That used to be my go to phrase to drop when I wanted to pretend what I really thought wasn’t what I really thought. I’d say something hurtful or maybe even confess something honest about what was going on in my own life and then I’d say, “Ahh just kidding. I was only joking.” I used to hide behind sarcasm like it was a quilt lovingly made during the moments before church starts.
The whole phrase worked pretty well until I saw this in Proverbs 26: 18-19:
“Like a madman shooting firebrands or deadly arrows is a man who deceives his neighbor and says, ‘I was only joking!’”
Oh snap! The phrase “I was only joking” is in the Bible? Are you sure? The real Bible, not just the Message. I mean the message says a lot of things, that’s a Bible sure, but are you telling me, that the NIV puts the phrase “I was only joking” on blast?
I am, that’s what it says. And I don’t want to shoot deadly arrows. I don’t want to deceive my neighbor. I don’t want to be a madman. And I don’t want you be one either.
Let’s retire the . Let’s put it in the same place we put our Ace of Bass CDs. (I agree, those were crazy, heady times, I loved “All that she wants is another baby” just as much as you, but we made the right decision. We did.) Let’s retire the digital “bless her heart.”
Let’s retire the : + ) = we can say whatever we want. Let’s give the inventor of the semi colon a reason to smile again. All he has right now is that stupid wink emoticon 
thing. Let’s knock down the colon guy a few notches. We can do this. I know we can.
I saw the sign.
(I couldn’t help it. I tried to avoid a second ace of bass reference but I just couldn’t do it. I’ll be a better blogger next year. Promise.)
Has anyone ever smiley emoticoned you?
Comments
I enjoyed the blog. Funny stuff. However, I think the bigger problem is that Twitter lacks real relationships. If you don't actually know the person, you really can't know the intent. It could have just been honest nudging for fun, with no ill will. Or not.
I do follow you on Twitter and saw the comment you were speaking about. Honestly I really didn't see how it was anything other than a joke. You're a cool dude but I think you may have overreacted here.
;> Thought this the openly cuttingly sarcastic winkie/smiley? It's not fluffy in anyway.
I would desperately love to say I don't use smilies. However, I use
a lot. It's the I'm-poking-my-tongue-out-because-I-am-cheeky-in-the-way-a-grandmother-would-love smiley. It's sort of the 
but less twee. I hate the 
. If people know I'm down they'll write 'Keep smiling 
' as if they thought I needed reminding of what a smile looked like. 'Keep smiling- you know, that expression where the corners of your lips go up'. It's just so saccharine.
Jon,
Every morning when I read SCL, I love it and have only happy thoughts. But not today- I feel negative and I don’t like it one bit. While your point is well taken and your writing is in fact, dang funny (i.e. Ace of Base reference)- in some parts the post reads like a well-planned, return kidney punch to my hubby who hurt your feelings on Twitter. You “blessed his heart” while telling us it was a lousy thing to do. Was that what you intended?
Jacinta is kidding, right? Don't even know anymore!
Smiley face
), I love you. Smiley face;o), I need you. (to the tune of Donna Fargo's Funny Face) 
D and you 
p and so many others.
And you
Snap! I often type mean things then add a smiley. I come for a giggle and leave repenting. And it is not even Wednesday. : )
Jacinta -
Good question. With tens of thousands of pastors on twitter and close to 7,000 friends and without knowing you or your husband it's hard for me to say whether your husband made the comment I was referring to or not.
Regardless of that though, my intention was certainly not to call your husband out on his comment. That's why I kept it really general and didn't do any of the following things:
1. Name the person
2. Repeat the comment
3. Say the date of when the comment was made
4. Say where the person was from
One of the ways I've messed up on this site is by sometimes poking individuals instead of issues. For instance I wrote a post about a Christian celebrity that had allegedly abandoned some of his kids. That was a really unnecessary, hurtful thing for me to do. If I wanted to speak to the issue of father abandonment I didn't need to mention his name or attack him. I could have talked about the issue instead of the individual. And then in another post I quoted someone's whole comment about me that was negative. I didn't need to do that and after apologizing for being passive aggressive to the person in question, we were cool.
In this case, I wanted to talk about the issue of using smiley emoticons which I experienced. So, I did that by saying a "pastor on twitter." I really felt like that was such a broad statement that the chances of someone tracking that person down were 0. So I felt like I had removed the individual and could talk about the issue.
Regardless of whether that was your husband or not, my intent wasn't to call any one out.
But thanks for the comment. I'm going to get this wrong and need folks that will challenge me on stuff. I appreciate your willingness to do that.
Jon
Jon,
Thanks for your reply- I was wrong to assume.
See you tomorrow on SCL.
It's Ace of Base, you idiot. ;O)
I use emoticons only because it's SO easy for digital messages, conversations, etc. to be misunderstood by the recipient. Tone is SO important. Plus, digital smileys are cute
Doesn't it just make you smile?
katdish cracks me up….no pun intended
"I saw the sign" LOL
) — much better, right?
You are a funny guy.
I just have to say that I think I'm different and better because I throw an "o" in it to get a
I actually have a profile up on a not-to-be-named website and under "What else should we know about you?" I wrote, "I overuse the smiley face
" I can't help it. I want everyone to know how happy I am. I use it allllllllll the time!!!
gotta love the Ace of Base reference. Thanks Jon
And yes, I did look up Proverbs 26: 18-19, just to be sure you were not throwing the "I was only joking" bit right back at us. And you are right, it does say "I was only joking".
Love the post
: ) you! : )
I've said this before on SCL, but there needs to be a sarcastic font.
I think of the
after a harsh comment more as a way to say something in tough love, or "Christian love", which is another phrase we've mentioned a thousand times on this site.
The Internet would drastically change if we followed a rule that goes like this: If I wouldn't say it to a person's face, I don't type it.
Oh and Diggs, how are you doing, man?
In my opinion, as a computer geek since the day I discovered computers and as an Agnostic who spent 20 of the 27 years of his life as a Christian around Christians being very aware of the nuances of integrating faith in daily life (what this site is derived from), I'd say you may have irrational fear ,or even disgust, with an emoticon figuratively representing a smile because you have been lied to straight faced frequently enough to cause you to fabricate a story about the dudes who 'created' elements of the English sentence structure (;, :, ), &). I can totally understand how you might feel such a way. To this day my mother smiles at me after I say things like "Mom, at this point in my life I do not believe Christian ideology. If I were to die right here, right now, according to Christian doctrine I would not be saved.". She smiles at me because, in her level of faith, her son going to Hell is not something she would choose (of course) yet it is something the denial of logic required by her level of faith won't dare question (She chooses to accept an ideology where my going to Hell is a very real reality for her. Since she loves me so much I can totally accept whatever response she uses to drop the subject of my damnation; as no one should be forced to confront issues like that head on in an intellectually honest manner – her faith is rock solid strong although, and overcomes rationality in literally a split second). So every different response she gives me is different, made up on the spot, and ultimately comes down to how she interprets the doctrine she follows. It's the nicest way she knows to verbally affirm her faith. Coincidentally the implication of my eternal damnation, as far as her affirmation of what she believes, is "an elephant in the room" and probably will be that way for the rest of mine and her relationship. I don't think she could ever bring herself to give me a straight forward honest response of "Based on my understanding of my beliefs you do not meet the requirements my God has placed on salvation. If you died right now, based on your beliefs as you describe them, I believe my God would send you to Hell." She should never have to say such a thing with conviction – it's just TOO (irrationally) disturbing.
Anyway, I'll add to your work of fiction with an alternate theory of how the creators of the colon, semi-colon, etc. would act based on my experience using emoticons as purely expressive emphasis of emotion though text:
The inventor of the colon (smiley face emoticon) is fine, and truely happy to some extent, but the reasons for the happiness are not understood at the level of the wink guy. The inventor of the semi-colon (the wink emoticon) is even more happy in that he not only smiles to express true happiness, but he understands to a greater degree why he's happy. Hence the wink, or "I am happy AND understand why", "I get it", "I can relate with you".
The fake faces humans put on when dealing with aspects of their own reality are, I'd say, easily misused more often by Christians (or any adherent to a faith based group) because they can't debate the logic with the 'source' they use to reason their belief. To ask God WHY that logic FEELS so illogical would be skepticism.
That sucks that a fear of falling out of a diety's graces due to an inkling of skepticism exists so strongly in most believer's psyche that it causes repeated, straight faced, telling you that you suck while smiling about it. …Enough you seem to have aggression at the very site of the smiley face emoticon as an expression of happiness because you have come to 'know' that
is a sign of deceit and manipulation.
Maybe you should be more concerned with why you hold a negative opinion of happy faces. It's ass-backwards concerning logic.
What about this emoticon?
What emotions does the 'big happy grin' emoticon illicit if you were to come across it in online conversation? (honestly I want to know)
I view
as "I'm so happy I had to make a distinct emoticon just to express that 'next level' of happiness". If I had to guess your opinion I would say it probably is not anywhere close to the same meaning. Probably like 'car salesman grade' manipulation and deceit eh?
I think it's great you can recognize all these things that Christians like, but almost sad that you don't seem to recognize how damaging these behaviors are. A lot of them are focused on how Christians use the spiritual aspect of their faith to irrationally (but righteously) justify real world decisions (i.e. creating a delusion in order to explain reality). It's as if you don't like these things that Christians like to do. It also seems like a lot of responses coming from Christians are disapproving of these things as well.
I used to be able to have a mindset where I could be aware enough of these things to be disturbed, yet accept them as part of my reality as a Christian somehow. I would end up laughing at myself and fellow believers while turning a blind eye to the core cause of our irrational fears. At the time I would have much rather gone another day without the fear of Hell I brought upon myself by 'questioning my beliefs' Unfortunately I didn't have the balls to question others in their obviously damaging behavior. I guess I just reasoned that these behaviors were a necessary evil that came along with faith. I can't remember my reasoning exactly but I think it's because I avoided reasoning altogether in my faith. I was of the opinion that if reason was possible to explain the supernatural then faith would be impossible. Textbook definition of faith. scary it worked out in such a way to let me enable more and more damaging behavior at the expense of saving my own ass by avoiding skepticism.
Matt Gross,
You're a thinker. It's lovely, but perhaps you're overthinking? More than just the smiley face? Perhaps?
So, I am curious, did you end up questioning things? Really? Did you hit twenty and slowly transition out of a life of faith or did you decide we're all a bunch of feckless fools and just shut it out?
That sounds like I'm attacking you but I truly don't mean to. I truly mean to find out what the heck happened, because your words break my heart.
Alex Green:
You too are a thinker. I painted a random scenario with a conflicting opinion about colons and semi-colons which requires overthinking. I made it up. In all honesty I don't have love or hate towards symbols.
To answer your question "did you end up questioning things? Really? Did you hit twenty and slowly transition out of a life of faith or did you decide we're all a bunch of feckless fools and just shut it out?"
I had begun questioning around the age of 10. I could not make sense of it then and put in on the back burner until I decid went to my family, then when I couldn't get answers I went to my pastor at the time who is still my parents pastor and an awesome individual. I started talking to other Christian figureheads in my community and then branched out to other figureheads in the Jewish Mormon faith. Eventually I got the nerve to reach outside Christianity and was lucky enough to speak with an Islamic leader in my community. Even Athiests, who until that point in my life didn't feel would contribute to my spiritual seeking, but all of them helped me in some form or another.
ed to really start searching, this happened around the age of 20. I
You're a thinker. It's lovely, but perhaps you're overthinking? More than just the smiley face? Perhaps?
So, I am curious, did you end up questioning things? Really? Did you hit twenty and slowly transition out of a life of faith or did you decide we're all a bunch of feckless fools and just shut it out? when you say
I don't know exactly who you are referring to when you say "we're all a bunch of feckless fools" but I know that sort of language is dangerous because it implies segregation; us vs. them.
If anything I've learned to love people in all faiths and non-faiths. The people closest to me all consider themsleves Christians; I was raised around them. I love them regardless of what they believe and I love you to! I'm glad you voiced your opinion. Like I said before, you too are a thinker.
I did not take your words as a personal attack at all. I know you didn't mean it to be. I've frustrated plenty of people to the point they lose control and lash out so I'm kind of used to it. I hope the resentment you felt towards my words fades quickly. Thank you for communicating your thoughts. That is all I look for in dialogues – honesty. If you would seriously like to hear my story I have it on the web and would be happy to share it with you. Shoot me an email to matt@mpgserve.com.
^_^
What about the smiley made with an equal sign. Is that like a big smile? Personally it is my least favorite of all smileys
- Based on "Tunnel" by Third Day -
(Inspired by This Post)
Well, I won't pretend that your writing don't suck
And I can't begin to criticize you enough
And I won't deny your phrases get stuck
Like a giant rock in the back of my throat *cough*
Just remember there's a smiley
To show I don't mean it, yeah
CHORUS:
There's a smiley at the end of this comment
There's a smiley at the end of this comment, for you, for you
And there's a smiley at the end of this comment
Smiling bright at the end of this comment, for you, for you
So keep reading on
You got your blog that's really popular
But you ought to know pride comes before a fall
Then you would be a more godly blogger
Well we all know you just write blog-awful
Just remember there's a smiley
To show I don't mean it, yeah
CHORUS
Etc.
Worse than (or at least similar to)the smiley emoticon is the phrase, "In Him". I am a professor and my students constantly do things like this:
Dear Professor,
I am leaving early for break and won't be in your class. I was hoping I could turn my paper in when I get back.
In Him,
Student
Somehow, by signing with Christian love and belief, that makes excuses more acceptable. Usually, these students break out the ichthus-icon. Nice.
Oh great, now you tell me. I JUST rebought "the bridge" at a yard sale not three weeks ago and now you're telling me I have to reitre it AGIAN? Thats 2.99$ I'll never get back.
V.W. 'Tormato' – type of produce developed to withstand extreme weather conditions.
I am a geek and I must respond!
I tend to do Asian style emoticons half the time >.<
and good ol' winks more often than smiles (if you can believe that).
You see, the more sarcastic and facetious one is, the more often one must punctuate with wink emoticons.
takes the edge off what you just said just as much as giving a little laugh, as if to say, "it's all good!"
So let's keep the smiles but learn to use them alongside more caring words.
\n/ >.< \n/
– I apologise if the above emote has yen symbols instead of slashes, as my browser is set to read Japanese characters (JIS_shift). So I'm not sure if it affects other people or not. –
^^ ^.~ ^L^ ^_^ >.< o.O
XD :'(
nn(O.o)nn
I am a fan of the emoticons, but mostly b/c I am a regular user and abuser of sarcasm. I have been misunderstood many times in the twitter world — and have also misinterpreted what others reply to others — unless there's a smiley or such that says, "I don't really mean this."
But I do agree that those who use sarcasm (no doubt, the more choleric of us in the crowd) should perhaps — and I know this is rad-i-cal: THINK before typing. I know! Maybe I'll write that on a posty-note and STITCH IT TO MY NOSE!!!
Oh, dear. Caps and everything.
(insert that glorious red devil emoticon — a personal favorite)
I think you're crazy funny and I could use several doses of that right now.
Thank you for your ministry here. I have been out of sorts for about 10 days and haven't read SCL. To come back and realize funny still happens is a relief. God bless you and your family!
I use the winking smiley all the time. Come on. Be nice to the winking smiley. Probably I use it because I don't have to press the "shift" button for it; also, I really like semi-colons. (Did you see what I just did there?
However, I really like this post. I think the smiley is ever-so-much-more-efficient visual which means, "The thoughts and ideas expressed in the thing I just said are provided for entertainment and are not necessarily the thoughts and ideas of Jennw2ns or her affiliates." Which isn't really true, most of the time. But wouldn't it be great if Universal and Colombia just put
at the beginning of their movies, instead of that whole long sentence?
I showed my mom my little spoof of Third Day's song and she thought I should just clarify that I didn't really mean what I wrote in the song about your writing – I love your blog and read it whenever I need a laugh. So yeah, I just posted the song because I thought it might entertain some people.
Haha, I just automatically put a smiley at the end of that last sentence and then had to delete it! Gah, this post has made me all self-smiley-conscious
.
Ace of Bass??? Ace of Base (;
Ace of Bass sounds like a fishing guru (:
(yes, I like to reverse my smileys in an attempt to be slightly different)
wv: saright – shortened text version of "it's all right" that will eventually become part of our spoken language. for example: LOL saright you spelled it Ace of Bass instead of Ace of Base, they weren't good enough to be that memorable anyway. Oh, and this MUST be accompanied by a (: and a "jk"
I'm a sucker for the emoticons…I don't think I'm ready to say goodbye to =) just yet.
I haven't retired my Ace of Bass yet…
That made me sad that to read that I'm supposed to…