#631. The campus babysitter.
Oct 2nd by admin(Ben Meredith writes really funny comments on Stuff Christians Like. His is funny. And it turns out he’s pretty generous too because he was willing to share a great guest post with us today about the weird things that happen when you’re a campus minister. And I was the student he describes in this post so hopefully this will serve as a bit of a tribute to the campus ministers that put up with me in college. I really dug this post and I think you will too. Enjoy.)
“Hello, my name is Sue Ellen McDenomination, and my eldest grandson is a sophomore at State University. I’ve encouraged him to get involved in the Campus Crusade group on campus, but I wanted to see if you’d go by and invite him. He loves the Lord and is looking to get plugged in to a Christian community on campus. I’ve included his contact information below. Thank you and may God bless your ministry.”
Due to the nature of my job with Campus Crusade, and the fact that my name is on our ministry’s website, I get emails like this about once per week right at the beginning of school each semester. Here’s what she meant to type. Must be some sort of weird spell-check error.
“Hello, my name is Sue Ellen McDenomination. I have this grandson who may or may not be the antichrist. He lights things on fire, got the youth group banned from McAllisters for the rest of this decade, and once received the atheist club’s “most outspoken” award at his high school. How he even got into the college where you minister I am not sure. If I’m being honest, the last place he’d ever willingly go would be to a campus ministry. He’d be a lot more likely to be perfecting his keg-stand form, if his facebook pictures are any indication. He currently holds the fraternity record for most consecutive mornings waking up in someone else’s underwear, at 5.
Once at a youth retreat he stood up to place his faith in Christ, but mainly because Kaylee, his girlfriend, said she’d break up with him if he didn’t.
I’d love for you to stop by and convince him that, even though your group’s name is “Campus Crusade for Christ” and he’ll immediately associate you with the horrors of 15th century Europe (if you’re lucky) or our youth pastor (if you’re not), you’re a great group to get involved with. On second thought, could you hold back any information regarding your name or affiliation until he’s been coming for a few weeks? And I’d avoid giving him the website name for your group. Our church’s website has been redirecting to one of three Russian mail-order bride websites for over four years after he hacked it.
Can you actually forget the whole campus ministry thing for about six hours per week, (what do you people do for 40 hours a week anyways?) and just go and make sure my grandson doesn’t hurt himself or anyone else? I have a spare key to his car that I’ll be sending you via FedEx, and would love for you to hide the vehicle from him. That’s where he keeps most of his illicit drugs, though, so I’d obey all traffic laws. I’d hate for you to get pulled over “ridin dirty” as Chamillionaire so aptly put it.
Thanks so much for your time reading this. God bless your ministry. (but, again, I’d avoid calling it a “ministry” for at least a year after you invite Jimmy.)
PS. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell him how you got his information, or his car keys. Thanks!”
(For more great stuff from Ben, check out his blog.)
Comments
Hi Jon.
I am a regular reader of your blog. I check daily to see what is new. I am actually just commenting to say that I like the new site. I do hope that it will do well for you.
Small comments / critique if I may.
1) The comments link at the bottom of the post reads (0) even when there are comments made to a post.
2) The contact details at the bottom of the site is difficult to read (gray and black are not working too well)
For what it is worth I use Firefox !!! – will never ever use MS Internet Exploiter .
God bless
Hanno
Love the new site! I too am a regular reader.
The comments thing shows up accurately for me and the black and gray look great! I'm hip and therefore use safari.
I'm curious to see what kind of advertisers you get. Most christian sites have ads about orphans or clean drinking water. Blog about that!
Keep up the good work!
I love your post, Ben. It gave me a good chuckle though I'm sure you roll your eyes when you, once again, get another request from Sue Ellen McDenomination and her cohorts. Blessings!
I like the new layout a lot!
Gratuitous comment for the purpose of subscribing to the comments for this post. Love the payout, but I’ve only seen it via iPhone at this point.
I have a friend who is a "babysitter" of sorts. he talks about this responsibility a lot. What is more glaring is the fact that inside the request of babysitting is that it can actually work. I had another friend in high school who had his parents ask the campus babysitter to help and it actually worked. My friend now is a completely different person and he gives a lo of that credit to the campus ministry house that he was apart of for four years.
Sometimes it works and sometimes it just feels like babysitting a spoiled little kid.
The campus babysitter…wow…there are definitely those peculiar individuals who seem to have the ability to capitalize on your time when you are in ministry…i usually have them do pushups while i give my talk…
I almost did that to a family member. Probably a good thing i didn't if that is what gets read into such requests!
Nice new format!
funny post, for real! but why only 7 comments? what am I doing wrong?? I mean, it is Sunday night for me. Jon, I think I broke your new site. Sorrrry.
I'm pretty sure there was more but that some went missing in the layout change
You really did all those things, Jon? Even the underwear part? Sheesh… you ARE weird LOL .
Loving the new site!!
Funny stuff, Ben. Keep up the good work. I have a special place in my heart for CCC. Went on a couple of projects and met my wife at a Crusade meeting.
lol i was cracking up the whole time reading this bc i am a student leader in campus crusade at the university of florida. really loved the part about bad connotations "crusade" has. haha it's why we call it "cru" and cringe a little each time people say "seriously? crusade for christ?" great post!
Well, Jen, that is the name of the organization. Crusade. And it came out of modernistic 50's where no one would have imagined that the crusades were actually a bad thing.
Anyway, I get these every year. They never turn out well. Most of the time you extend a hand out but nothing comes of it.
I actually posted my thoughts on our name HERE and would love more opinions on the matter.
I actually posted my thoughts on our name HERE and would love more opinions on the matter.
Ben, I think I only had one good experience when I responded to a letter like that from a sister. She first told me nicely that she wasn't interested (girls are more subtle) but then a year later, she came looking for me at a Crusade meeting and I ended up discipling her for two years.
Angel? Do your last name rhyme with "Show?"
That would mean you are the most popular staf girl ever (Vonette aside)
Just sayin'