Conferences, AKA the Christian Prom. Remix
Oct 15th by Jon- Tagged in:
- conferences,
- dancing,
- hair,
- music
Last week I attended the Catalyst Conference, one of the most amazing conferences I have ever been to. If you’ve never been, imagine if you put Billy Graham, a U2 concert, 4 sticks of dynamite, worship music and 100 gallons of awesome into a blender and hit “puree.” It’s like that.
It’s also a little like the Christian Prom, every conference is to some degree. Though it’s been above 15 years since I rocked a rented tuxedo at the Saint John’s prom in Worcester, Massachusetts, the similarities between the two events are pretty stunning …
The Hair:
Prom
In the south, when it’s prom time, girls get “up do’s.” Which I think is Latin for “complicated vertical hair.” I don’t remember if I did anything fancy for my head when it was prom time for me. Probably just rocked the Tony Hawk long on one side haircut, like I was prone to do.
Christian Conference
You get a haircut a few days before in anticipation of looking so fresh and so clean at the conference and make sure your gel supply is well stocked. Granted I participated in hair roulette, that dangerous barber game you play any time you go to Sports Clips since you never know which person is going to be cutting your hair, but trust me on this one. Thousands of guys in Atlanta last week, including myself, were deliberately messing up their hair to make it look accidentally messed up.
The Pre Parties & After Parties:
Prom
You might never see these events on an official schedule, but one of the big draws of the Prom are the pre parties and after parties. Where’s everyone meeting before we go to the Prom? Is anyone going anywhere after? When the music dies and the last song is played, whose house/restaurant/hollow in the woods are we all going to?
Christian Conference
You run into a friend at the conference and ask him if he wants to go to lunch. He immediately says, “I’m going to that special lunch with that famous blogger/author/pastor.” Outwardly, if your name is Jon Acuff you think, “Oh cool. I hope you have a good time.” Inwardly you think, “Aww man, I knew there was an after party I was missing. There’s always crazy fun mini events going on that I don’t know about.”
The Dancing:
Prom
You dance, dance, dance the night away. And is there anything better than dancing in a tuxedo? Yes, actually, there is. Everything is better than dancing in a tuxedo. And those rental shoes are like torture chambers for your feet. Very difficult to do the windmill or any other complicated breakdancing moves in a rented tuxedo. And if you own your own tuxedo in high school, you’re probably an international spy and in some Eastern bloc country on a mission during the weekend of the Prom. But there will be dancing.
Christian Conference
You dance at conferences, maybe. This depends in large part of the specific conference you go to. If you attend the “John Lithgow Footloose Commemorative No Dancing Conference” you probably shouldn’t Bust a Move like your name was Young MC. Otherwise, break it down in the aisles, especially at Catalyst because the worship leaders play with abandon and aren’t afraid to dance up on stage if the moment hits them.
The Transportation:
Prom
You rent a vehicle you never usually ride in, like a limo, and just have a good time. It’s like a road trip, with you and your friends being silly singing along to Miley Cyrus and Lil’ Wayne as you make your way to the prom.
Christian Conference
You borrow a vehicle you never usually ride in, like the church van, and just have a good time. It’s like a road trip, with you and your friends being silly singing along to Chris Tomlin and Carman as you make your way to the conference.
The Clothes:
Prom
It’s dress up time. You get a big, crazy dress with loads of cool little details that say I have arrived! If you’re a guy you rent a tuxedo and try to act cool like you wear cummerbunds all the time.
Christian Conference
It’s dress up time. You buy a hip shirt with those cowboy buttons and intricate little stitching or maybe a graphic t-shirt and try to act cool like you wear a Castro style revolution hat all the time.
The Date:
Prom
Ohhhh, we are so nervous. Will that girl say yes when we ask her to come to the prom? Will it change our relationship? Will being there together and hearing how romantic the music Extreme plays change the way we function? So many questions! So exciting! (Yes, that was a “More than words” reference.)
Christian Conference
Ohhhh, we are so nervous. Will the worship minister say “yes” when we ask him to come to the conference? Will it change the relationship? Will being there together and hearing how fast and upbeat the music Fee plays change the way our worship functions at church? So many questions! So exciting!
Those are the ways I think Conferences are like the Christian Prom. Did I miss a way?
How do you think Conferences are like the Christian Prom?
Comments
The Aftermath:
The Prom
You spend a long time preparing and planning, asking a date, buying the clothes, renting the car… You have an amazing night, possibly the best night of your life so far. And then, it's all over… What do you do now?
The Conference
You spend a long time preparing and planning, asking the worship leader, buying the funky shirt, starting the church van… You have an amazing time, possibly the best time of your spiritual life so far. And then, it's all over… What do you do now?
Hopefully, in the case of the latter: go, make disciples of all nations…
I think a lot of single Christians go to Conferences to 'hook up' – that is… to meet Mr "I love God… watch how welI raise my hands and sing to the Lord"…. seems they find it a good 'hunting' ground…
Girls dress up and such to attract the boys and the boys act extra 'godly' to attract the girls…
I think there is also the "hook up" with God thing.
At prom many couples are expecting a little something extra in the physical department that night.
At a conference many people are expecting a little something extra in the spiritual department.
At a popular Christian conference in Australia a couple of years ago.. it seems 3 couples I know… got..er.. physical and now have babies as a result
Well yeah there is definitely some of that going on. I was trying to keep it holy, but some people … not so much.
heheh… well.. all three couples were married.. so… it's like the commandment "go forth and multiply" and it also helped with church growth…
Our official prom song was Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes." That has very little to do with the post, but that song was the jam and I am so proud of us for not picking something like "Blame it on the Rain" by Milli Vanilli.
What was your prom song?
Our prom song was "Free Bird" by Lynard Skynard. I think that would have been very cool had we graduated it the 70s. Sadly, it was the mid-90s and we were just trying to avoid Boys to Men.
I’ll Be There – the cool Jackson 5 version… NOT the lame Mariah Carey “wanna be a legend like the Jackson 5″ version.
"Stairway to Heaven" was the song at my 1974 prom. Maybe one could use a version of it at a Christian conference!
Stairway to Heaven. Which would've been fine with me, but of course a parent of a classmates ( pastor, naturally) freaked out and called the parents and school officials together to protest because there are subliminals in that song that would case all the kids to commit suicide. He was shouting the school would be responsible if any one of us attending committed suicide in the future. It was crazy. So, I attended prom in my updo and sparkly dress constantly expecting people to suddenly start slashing their wrists or pull out a bottle of pills
Hang on…I think I was AT that St. John's prom!
1991?
okay, nope, you were three years later. I'm pretty sure the class of 1991 had that as the theme, too.
(original, those St. John's guys…)
Ours was "Friends" by Michael W. Smith. Odd for a public school in 1992, but a group of us in charge campaigned for it, got a re-vote, and split the "Heaven" vote by listing both the Bryan Adams and the Warrant versions on the ballot. Devious? Maybe. But we were all "Friends," and the dining hall at the local college was not-so-much "Heaven," so I think the winning theme was more fitting.
Well when you go to a private school that is filled with hundreds of different beliefs you don't get a prom song, you get a magic show. Ya I am still a little bitter about my prom.
I went to Prom and Prom Alternative. My GF lived about 90 minutes away so she and her mom made a trip for the weekend. The two events happened to be Friday and Saturday. Prom Alternative was an event put on by the Oklahoma Assemblies of God district so Juniors and Seniors didn't have to go to the evil dancing. It was a nice dinner a decent magician (I think they used the phrase Christian illusionist because magicians are also evil) and a really bad comic. We sat at a table with people we didn't know but ended up making friends and had a great time. Then for camp that year we made a point to pick the same camp as them so we all hung out again. Lots of fun. Of course I also did prom so I'm not bitter.
well I guess I am not really bitter, as I think about it really a smile comes to my face at how funny and ridiculous it really was and how frustrated me and my friends were.
I personally think I would have been frustrated if I hadn't had the opportunity. I think people need to get over themselves sometimes. Why do we make everything legalistic?
"This is the Time" by Billy Joel.
This was our prom theme:
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"Wonderful Tonight" was out theme. But it wasn't all that wonderful.
"The Best of Times" by Styx. It was the early 80s, what can I say?
I really wish I could have made it to Catalyst, or one of many YP conferences this past year/upcoming year. They are all set on having money though, so if it is a choice between attending something frigintastic and possibly life changing and being able to take care of my family I guess I'll do the responsible thing, even though I hate being the responsible one.
I would perosnally wear a graphic tee and rock it hard because I do wear them practically every day. I also rocked the tux because I didn't wear the cummerbund, I went with the vest option. My prom was amazing and very uptown with very specific dress code requirements. When my date (who I eventually married and have been married to for ten years now how cool is that?) accidental turned the tasteful split in her dress into a potential wardrobe malfunction she went the the bathroom to try and figure out how to salvage the evening. There was a bathroom attendant with a full sewing kit that returned it to normal with no visible repair. My wife's prom was very hick. The girls were wearing sneakers with their prom dresses and they had wheelbarrow races and other stuff like that.
In my experience Christian conferences are like that. Depending on which one you go to they are very upscale or very not.
um, I'm not sure we had a theme song, I remember we had a band. I also remember the theme of the prom was "a night to remember" but ironically there is so much I don't remember. It's like a highlight real. I remember a group of us went out before to a nice restaurant, and then a guy was complaining because they wouldn't let him in since he didn't meet dress code. Later a girl got drunk and was escorted out in tears. I vaguely remember dancing but not the songs we danced to. I also remember several ice sculpture but not what they were, though I'd bet on at least one lion since that was out mascot. I guess our theme should have been "A Night to Barely Remember 13 years from now"
"Stairway to Heaven" in 1997
Good post considering I’m registering for the Cinti NYWC today!
I’ll agree with the “hook up” with God. The last time the Conference was in Cinti I made myself sick worrying because I couldn’t shut out the million things I have to do.
One of the things I remember about Prom is telling my best friend how the guy I voted for Prom King was telling a few of us how he’d never win. We then watched him be crowned King. According to one of his last Facebook posts, he just finished doing something (mastering, mixing, one of those engineering things) to Mark Schultz’s new album, so I still feel cool for voting for him.
You've upped the ante for Cultivate. I'm off the Salvation Army and Wal*Mart for a new wardrobe.
That is the way to do it my friend. Rocking the white T has never looked so good.
Skip Wal*Mart, but there is plenty at Salvation Army, here in town they are running a special sale.
Don't forget the cummerbund and boutonniere.
At prom, the girls secretly envy the designer dresses the other girls are wearing. At Catalyst, the fashion-conscious ministers secretly envy the designer jeans the other ministers are wearing.
I really liked the pink stretch hummer that we were picked up in, in the parking lot at Catalyst to take us to the front door…there was no Carman or Tomlin in there–it was just pure pink-smothered greatness.
I'm also glad I got to share my 1993 and 94 prom experiences with the same guy I got to experience Catalyst with…
Christian prom? Try JR/SR BANQUET.
BINGO! That's where I thought this post was going at first. That's the real Christian Prom!
Absolutely, I went to tree of them. Talk about all dressed up and nowhere to go. We did have skits so I guess there was that . . . and the Girls Octet sang…
yeah no kidding! we had Promquet AKA Real Christian School Prom!
went with my senior minister and he was sure he was the oldest guy there (he might have been right)
just like the guy who graduated three years ago who is taking his senior girlfriend
The Cool Guy
Prom:
This is the guy that dances with every girl, wins homecoming king or whatever prom thing they do, wins the prize for best dressed and shows up late and leaves early because the party follows him. He wears the all white tux with a cane and a top hot and looks normal.
Conference:
This is the guy that knows everyone. He doesn't need a pass to get backstage, he is the backstage. In conversation he throws out names like John Acuff and John Saddington and talks about how they want to meet with him. He seems to be on the stage every other session and don't forget about him winning the mac book pro that one of the booths is giving away. This guy wears stuff that you didn't even knew exist, astronaut type stuff.
Hmm, I wore the white tux and talked to everyone at my prom, but I wasn't the Cool Guy despite what my wife seemed to think. At Catalyst I am definitely not the cool guy but I might have met him and not noticed. I'm the socially oblivious guy that doesn't know who the cool guy is even though he may or may not be friends with him.
I wasn't the cool guy despite what my wife thought, but I did hang out with just about everyone. I'm the social ninja, able to blend in with every group. At conferences I hang with the YPs, the Senior Pastors, the Evangelists, and Communication people, even the worship leaders and that dude with the guitar. I might even be seen with a children's pastor from time to time. Social Ninja.
The Predictable Song List (you touched on this a few times)
Prom:
Depends on the era/crowd but still predictable…in my day it was Extreme, Color Me Badd, etc…and in the end, no matter what era YMCA snuck in there and was the song with the most participation
Conference:
Depends on the era/crowd but still predictable…right now it's gonna involve a lot of David Crowder, Hillsong United, probably Bluetree/Chris Tomlin's God of this City (nothing wrong with any of those by the way)…and of course don't forget the "We Love Jesus, How About You" cheer that someone will start up if there is any downtime and somehow, no matter what era YMCA snuck in to the conference too and was the still the song with the most participation
I went to a Baptist church in high school, and they are against dancing. So as "prom-alternatives", we had banquets. Same goes with Baptist-oriented colleges and high schools. However, I went to a public school so I got to dance the YMCA and Macarena at a real prom (yeah, that dates me a bit).
We had conferences too, but it was mainly just listening to people preach and signing some hymns. No bands, no dancing, no hand-raising (we were Baptist, after all).
Kids still rock YMCA and Macarena… that and the Electric Slide.
Here's another one (that was mentioned but not detailed)
the Unnecessary but Ever Present Theme
Prom
Something that has to do with friends or romance that lasts forever or is once in a lifetime (because we all know how many high school romances and friendships last) or being the generation that changes the world (even if your eventual career looks more like The Office than anything earth shattering).
Conference
Somethng that has to do with igniting a passion/fire in your relationship with God/in your church/in the world or being the generation that changes the world.
Cool thing about the conference vs the prom on this one…it really could and should be true and endure the rest of time.
Nevertheless, has anybody ever attending a prom/conference simply because of the theme? Has anybody ever said,
"No, I'm not planning on going to (insert prom/conference). Oh, wait, what's that you said? The theme for the conference is "Love for a Lifetime/Rock the World" then I'm in. I've been waiting all my life for a (prom/conference) that had that theme!"
PBJ gets me. themes.
I did marry my prom date, I'm just saying.
Kudos
As a youth pastor, though, I can tell you very few of the people I do weddings for went to prom together and few of the students I have who went to prom together got married (though I know of at least two couples).
I also know whenever I tell my students something like that there's always someone like you around that proves me wrong
pbj,
As a YP myself I try to break as many of the rules as possible.
I'm laughing right now
but generally speaking I try to avoid that onling "heeheehee" thing
so you'll just have to trust that I'm laughing
Have a great day Nick
i believe i will only attend events based on themes from now on…
My prom's theme was "If only for one night." We thought that was kind of sick, depending on one's interpretation of the phrase.
And yes, I married my prom date. To totally add to the cheesy/fluffy/cliche factor, that was the night he proposed. LOL. (Although we'd been discussing the idea for awhile.)
I like the aftermath. I just 'networked' with all these people during this awesome conference. Now…who will actually call me back? Was this just a 'One Conference Stand', or did something really get started during this weekend?
Ugh, I hate that. Someone tells me, yeah I'll add you on FB or follow you on Twitter or whatever but then I don't hear from them till next time we run into each other at a conference. This time I get their card because they are lazy/forgetful.
This post reminds me of another funny church story.
I usually play piano and sing in our worship band, but one Sunday the keyboard player was at the piano, and I was on the platform with the other two singers. "Shout to the Lord" was the last song in our set. To end the song, our male lead sang "Nothing compares to the promise I have in you" and then the other woman and I echoed in harmony. We did that twice in practice. However, in the service, the pianist ritarded and ended the song before we'd sung our second echo. The band followed him. When the soprano realized what was happening, she cut short her echo after the word "Nothing," leaving me singing alto harmony a capella all by myself. I, too, decided to stop short. It was an awkward enough moment already, but then as I exited the platform, I had to suppress a laugh because I realized I'd just ended our time of worship by singing, "Nothing compares to the prom."
Looks like your post proves me wrong.
(BTW, thanks again for the win in the funny church story contest. Just curious: Did I take it for "OH, LORD, LET THE NEEDY BE FORGOTTEN" or "Watch me break this board with my head"?)
Never been to Catalyst. If it's like prom does that mean there are couples making out in dark corners and people smoking in the bathrooms? And body glitter. Lots of body glitter.
Not sure about Catalyst, but i've been to Christian conferences where i suspect there might have been some of that happening occasionly
I think you have prom confused with the Twilight Vampire series … seriously glittering vampires?
its to make vampires more lovable…duh!
I am going to a Conference tomorrow (Catholic Festival of Faith). I am gld that I read this so that I can pick up body glitter while I'm out today.
My rather uninteresting, but admittedly very hot, date unwittingly wore a slightly see-through dress, and come picture time… well, if anything like that ever happened at a conference, we'd have problems
.
However, there is always the awkward, unexpected conference/prom romance, the one that pretty much lasts for that weekend/night.
The Comparisons (aka sizing up the other couples/competition)
Prom
What did you do for dinner? How cool was your ride? Who's the best dressed, having the most fun, already in a fight, etc.?…All of the pre-party stuff you mentioned.
Conference
What's your church like? How many people came with you to the conference?…Particularly if it's a Pastor/Church confernce…if it's a singles/college conference, it might just be the exact same stuff as the prom
hahahahahaha… SOOOO true. SO true.
Get the extra sparkly, often sold at Christian bookstores as "Holy Glo". So good you're doing this. I've often said, "What's the Catholic church missing? Body glitter."
There is Christian glitter? I always knew my spiritual life was missing something
OF course there is Christian glitter, it is the bane of existence. The story tells of a single fish scale that was missed when the loaves and fishes were blessed, this was the first piece of glitter and it has been multiplying ever since.
Last one, maybe – I like this comparison
The Awkward Moments for the person that attended alone
Prom
Pictures, Slow dances (dance alone or awkwardly find another loner), Tears, etc.
Conference
Pictures/Video if they're flashing "live" moments up on the screen…I remember one conference I attended alone and they were showing live worship on the screen, meanwhile I was in tears because it was a breaking moment for me, all I could think was if some camera man puts mean on the screen right now I'm gonna punch him (not very holy, I know)…slow dance equivalents (partner prayer or just sitting alone), etc.
That said – I love conferences but I guess I loved proms too
awesome
Excellent!
I read this title, it said to me "Christian Porn" instead of prom.
I think the overall theme of the post would still be the same.
wow…
Prom: Some girl gets drunk during prom and repeats every other word that the emcee says.
Conference: Some lady is so excited to be at the conference that she repeats every other word that the session speaker says.
ha!
hahahahahahaha. Oh , my gosh you're right.
The effect is amplified for Christian youth conferences. Despite the fact that you'll only be there for 4 days some girls bring with them huge suitcases of clothes. They then have a major crisis every morning trying to work out what to wear. Its a little pointless cause after a day or two of sleeping on the floor, terrible temporary showers and getting barely any sleep no-looks very good.
That's how we roll. No since waiting in lines for ages when you can roll out of bed pull on ur jeans still laying on the floor nice and wrinkled and stroll in with mussed hair just in time to get on the DVD and somehow snag the best seat in the conference. You gotta live life not wait around for it.
The effect is amplified for Christian youth conferences. Despite the fact that you'll only be there for 4 days some girls bring with them huge suitcases of clothes. They then have a major crisis every morning trying to work out what to wear. Its a little pointless cause after a day or two of sleeping on the floor, terrible temporary showers and getting barely any sleep no-looks very good.
There's also the crazy lining up. Back in my younger days everyone wanted to get themselves on the big screen/conference DVD. I remember on several occasions queuing for at least 2 hours…outdoors…on some of the hottest days of summer. I think the only one who ever did get a good closeup on the conference DVD was a youth leader who sauntered in about 10 minutes before the conference started. What a waste of our time!
you hit spot on
I try to avoid conferences… for some reason the friends that I know that go to them seem to come back really flying high… and most of them cannot explain why except that everything is so "AWESOME" and God is so "AWESOME" and I missed out on so many "AWESOME" things!
"like what" I ask…
"I don't know…. there was just a lot of AWESOME speakers, and the worship was AWESOME and the whole experience was just so AWESOME!" they reply
"So share some of the things that the speakers shared" I reply,
but they don't know… and a week later they can't get out of bed they are so depressed.
I can do without being Bi Polar thank you very much… I will stay at home!
My senior prom's song was End of The Road by Boyz 2 Men. Now, my prom was in 2003, and that song came out when my class was in elementary school. And when they played the song, everybody at the prom sang along. It was awesome.
My seminary holds a Christmas banquet every year; a friend of mine dubbed it "God Prom".
Nicely done Jon!
I've never been to Catalyst, but we take a group to Passion events every year, and it is SO like this!! Maybe even more so, since the overall demographic is younger at Passion than at Catalyst.
In fact, I have to admit that I am preparing my wardrobe already for Passion in January…gotta look hip and cool with all the college kids! Yep, me=loser…
Oh yeah, and I forgot, there is a big debate about whether the Senior Pastor AND the Worship Pastor will attend Passion with us…its a big deal…will they say yes…or will we suffer rejection??
Oh the stress!
dont forget padazzling your "Jesus" shirts for the conference so the stand out!!!
Rob Bell look-a-likes.
What about those annoying conference hoppers?
Is there a Christian-prom equivalent to them?