Getting mad when someone interrupts your quiet time with God.
Oct 20th by Jon- Tagged in:
- Bible,
- prayer,
- quiet time
What? Who is calling me this early? Which one of my friends is up right now and not engaged in a quiet time, like I am? Sweaty heathen. And they’re calling me?
I’m not answering the phone. I’m in the middle of a quiet time. Come on, stop calling. I see your number, I know your name, we’ll talk later. I’m in the middle of a quiet, reflective moment with God. I need a prayer closet. No forget that, I need a prayer bunker. Possibly somewhere under ground. Maybe a prayer lair that spits on fog from one of the fog machines they use in youth groups. Fine, I’ll pick up the phone.
“Hello?”
“Yeah, I’m just doing my quiet time right now. What are you doing?”
Pause.
“Oh you’re driving to work? Cool, well it’s been good talking to you. I’m going to get back to this quiet time. I’ll call you later. No, seriously, I want to hear about the divorce you’re going through but I’ll give you a call after I’m done reading God’s word. Yeah, I gotta go” …
Wow, the nerve of that guy. I’m trying to learn about God and how to love people and build community and he’s totally interrupting me.
“Knock, knock.”
“Who is it? Oh, it’s you L.E., you need to go back to bed. It’s too early to get up. You know you need to sleep until 7 on a Saturday. And no, you can’t watch ‘Calliou’ or ‘Cry-ou’ as someone put it. That kid is afraid of air. Plus, daddy is trying to do his quiet time. I can’t play right now. I don’t have time, I’m reading the Bible. Stop knocking. Go ask mommy that question.”
Pause.
“Knock, knock.”
“Seriously, talk to your mother. I’ll be downstairs in a few minutes. I don’t know how many teeth a giraffe has and if they can run faster than a dolphin can swim. I won’t lie to you, it’s a legit question, but you’re not respecting the sanctity of the moment right now. Sanctity means, never mind. JENNY, can you please get the kids to go downstairs? I’m trying to worship God right now!
Comments
I wish I was serious enough about my quiet time to even have the oppourtunity to get mad when it is interrupted.
"Prayer lair" …I *totally* want one. Like Dr. Evil's, maybe inside a giant volcano sculpted on the outside to look like praying hands. With a nest of worship eagles on the cliff. And inside, weird machines with labels: "praises", "intercessions", "conspicuously selfless requests (lookee lookee!)", and so on. Oh, and a sliding floor over a pool of ill-tempered mutant sea bass with laser beams attached to their foreheads. Those would be for the people who interrupted my quiet time with God. Because it's THAT much all about me. Thanks for the laugh and the God-shaped footprint on my pants, Jon. As always.
That sounds amazing. I want a sharks with freakin lasers on their heads.
you made me laugh, Mad God Woman. Hard.
I think TBN sells these in various designer colors. Someone even thought to put a flashing light on the "CSR" machine that we can pretend not to notice. Unfortunately, the sea bass "lasers" are only those red light versions used for marking targets and don't really inflict any damage. That is why I NEVER brush my teeth before quiet time…
I tend to use interruptions as an excuse for getting out of quiet time, like, "Well, God, I had something totally awesome planned for quiet time. My prayers would have been psalm-worthy. Then I got a text message and it ruined the mood. Maybe next time."
Brilliant.
I wonder how far I should defend my quiet time?
For me, I avoid answering my phone, email, texts, facebook messages, etc, when doing quiet time. For me it's a release: A way of saying 'I'm not the most important thing right now, I don't need to manage my life because God does that far better than me.'
I'm not a family man (yet) so I don't really get the pressures on your time Jon, where do you draw the line?
Ian –
Great question. I've had to learn a lot about time management lately. One of the biggest lessons I've learned is that I need to make time decisions that are difficult for me, not for my kids. I get up at 5AM each morning because it's the only way I can fit in a quiet time and writing time before my kids get up. That's difficult on me, but doesn't impact the kids. I try to carve time out of the spaces in the day that don't impact my kids. So right now, that means mornings. I can carve the hours from 5-7 any way I like, but after that, when the kids are up it becomes a lot harder because now it's "our time" as a family.
If that makes sense
Jon
I've always wondered, do you go to bed early to help get up early? Or do you live off low sleep? I try to get up at 5:30am to have time for a Bible study, but if I don't get to bed before 10pm I'm just wrecked in the morning.
How do you handle it?
Ian –
Great question. I've had to learn a lot about time management lately. One of the biggest lessons I've learned is that I need to make time decisions that are difficult for me, not for my kids. I get up at 5AM each morning because it's the only way I can fit in a quiet time and writing time before my kids get up. That's difficult on me, but doesn't impact the kids. I try to carve time out of the spaces in the day that don't impact my kids. So right now, that means mornings. I can carve the hours from 5-7 any way I like, but after that, when the kids are up it becomes a lot harder because now it's "our time" as a family.
If that makes sense
Jon
I like that- impacts me but not my kid. That’s helpful. Thanks.
I have to echo Heather and say that I wish I was serious enough about my time with God to care about interruptions. When I do crack open the Bible or meditate any excuse will do to leave it. I often think "maybe this is what God wants me to do for him this morning" if I am interrupted. Any excuse will do.
Oh this is so funny. I have very recently started the discipline of quite time (like as recently as 5 or 6 weeks ago)…haven't missed a day yet. Yes somtimes they get interrupted because I have two very little ones (2.5 & 1 year old). I actually did get mad at first when they would wake up before *I* planned on them waking up. Then, I realized how NOT-loving that was toward my children. It is a tough balance but the best advice I have gotten is make quite time a priority but be flexible and even if you get interrupted continue with that spirit and attitude of devotion throughout the day. It has been such a HUGE blessing for me so far and I eagerly anticipate what God has for me each morning!
I have 4 kids but if I wake up at 6:30 I'm all alone in the house for about an hour. That is possibly my favorite time all day long. Every once in a while they will wake up and come 2 the living room while I'm enjoying my peace and quiet and it should make me happy for mroe time with my kids, especially when I'm complaining about not getting enough time with them, but it just frustrates me. That kind of bothers me.
One of my favorite childhood memories of my dad is walking into the living room where he would be on his knees praying. I would creep up beside him and put my arm through his to "pray" with him. I'm suddenly grateful because his response was always to start praying aloud, so that his time with God became our time with God. Rather than shoo me away, he incorporated me into that time. I never realized until this moment that he must have felt some annoyance at his time being interrupted. But he never let me know it.
I love this! Thanks for posting! I have tried to start doing this when my girls get up. If I'm reading, I just read aloud to them. What began as annoying has turned into a special moment.
Tina, your comment reminds me of a similar situation that happens while I'm worshipping the Lord at church, and somebody bumps me trying to walk to their seat, or hugs me because it's the only chance they'll get to greet me … I've learned to continue with that spirit and attitude of devotion and bless them (and myself) with it !!
weird, it got posted twice.
heh… I thought you were just being funny!
I usually have my quiet time right when I get home for work. I look forward to it all day. The problem is that my mom comes home soon after me, and she always wants to ask 20 questions. Some days I get really upset which is awful. She's usually asking if she can make me food or do my laundry. Just one more thing to work on getting better at I guess.
Thanks for being relevant.
Same kind of problem with my mom. I imagine though that it is easier for us with moms than for people with small kids. We have a commandment telling us to honor them, so in a way, being patient with them when they impose on quiet time is a prayerful sacrifice in and of itself.
Seriously? I would be the happiest person EVER if I had someone doing my laundry and cooking for me! Man, enjoy it while you got it! I'm a fairly newly wed and I'm still adjusting to doing all of that housework for myself and another person. Laundry is my nemesis!
I do enjoy it. I just suspend that feeling temporarily during quiet time. Seriously, I can be reading about honoring my parents, then in a hot second I'm hollering at her.
As for commandments, parents are told not to bring their children to grief. So we're supposed to honor each other basically. I think with kids they don't really know better, but I somehow want adults to read my mind and know I'm in the zone and should not be bothered. It's unfair.
Have you ever considered just communicating with your mom? Mom…you're the greatest and I love that you are so interested in my day. I also really appreciate that you still do all these things to take care of me. I like to have some quiet time when I get home from work, so will you understand if I shut myself in my room for a bit before I come out to chat with you?
Seriously.
1. Moms love that encouragement and rarely get it. 2. If she works that hard to take care of you, she'll appreciate the communication. 3. If you get mad at her for interrupting your quiet time to offer to serve you when you've never even told her about it, then you're being ridiculously unfair.
I tend to feel frustrated and have the tendency to have an outburst, when people interrupt me… and then i feel guilty cos spending time with God should make me more loving and stuff right? so what the heck is wrong with me?
I guess all times should be God time… and the more I realize that God is not some hour window in the morning or at night, the less I feel I need to fight people for time with God… The more I interact with God in my everyday activities the more I get out of my quiet time (even if it is interrupted)..
Cos we are meant to 'Love God and Love people' right? (way easier said then done!)
Wow! I related to this so much. I didn't get married until I was 35. So, I was used to MY time in the mornings with God. The first time I sat down to have my quiet time with God as a married woman, my husband talked to me and read the news to me the entire time. I am super defensive of that time. It is so special to me. But you make an excellent point. I know God wants me to spend time with Him, but He has given me other people to minister to and to love on. Am I being a good example of God's love, when I ignore them or brush them aside when I am trying to have my time with God? Maybe those are divine appointments God is bringing me, and I am too focused on what I am doing to recognize it. But, I still want a prayer lair. Great post!
My husband tries to be patient with me when I forget, and interrupt his quiet time, but after all these years, I have gotten better about leaving him alone while he prays.
God is so funny! That funny God! I just gave my kid a hard time about talking to me while I'm praying and what's the first thing I read when I get in the office this morning…That God…he's so funny!
I have told my husband to: "Shut the heck up! Do you not see that my Bible is open? If you actually did your quiet time every once in awhile you might know what that looked like."
Granted it was that special time of the month and we had just had an argument. I did apologize later.
Ouch! That hit a little too close to home *snicker*
ohmigawrsh I have *so* done that to my own husband!
oh, this is my life! Where do you draw the line, how much sleep do I have to give up in order to fit in all the things I need to do and all the people I need to care for and still have productive, fulfilling quiet time? A this point, I'm working on about 4hrs of sleep a night. That's not good, either. Balance….it's so elusive. Thanks for the blog and the comments….somehow, I feel better knowing that others struggle with the same things.
I'm with you Jon. I have to wake up at 5am if I want to get in a good quiet time on Sat or Sun. (I only have quiet times on Sat and Sun, GASP, I'm going to hell) before my daughter wakes up. Sometimes I'll say, "I'll do my quiet time later." But later turns into being busy. So it's usually best to have quiet time when you say, "I'll do it later." Because those are the moments were we probably have the time right then but don't feel like doing it.
It is hard to have good balance in anything. I am sure He understands that, and smiles as we try.
I like how you contrasted "learning" to love and build community with the actual chance to love and serve someone. I know that I will never get to the point where I have nothing left to learn, but if it gets in the way of loving and serving someone else, I would think there is an unbalance.
Um what exactly is quiet time and where do you get it? Can I buy it on Amazon.com? Because I'd really like to get me some of that…
you know you're in a bitter place when you go after calliou….
I think it is good to define quiet time. Mine is about an hour, which sounds super spiritual, but the truth is I wake up an hour before everyone else and take my shower, get dressed, spend some time with God then plan my day, and finally I get online for about 15 minutes before I go get the kids up and ready for school. Any part of that gets messed up and my whole day is off. Ok I can survive without the computer time and often do, but still I really feel like I need all the other parts to get my day ready.
For me it goes past prayer time.
You mean I am not the only Christian who tosses friends and family aside for self-serving reasons? Darn it! I thought I had the market cornered. Oh well. Maybe I can grab the "so easily distracted that my prayers always sound like verbal diarrhea" market. Yep. I am well on my way to meeting that goal…
So, I have been thinking about this, and I think you should do a post on church Trunk or Treat. What's the difference in that and real trick-or-treating? I mean, you dress up and get candy either way, but what's the deal? Small children are the trick-or-treaters…how much "tricking" can they do, besides dress up in a devil or witch costume (I myself was a sorcerer…don't ask…sale at K-mart)? Maybe I'm missing something…
YES. Please please write about this. Am I the only one annoyed by Trunk or Treat? Do people think that because they are getting candy at church it doesn't count as Halloween? I know Halloween in general is a hot topic amongst christians. That would be a great post.
I guess if all they gave out was skittles it would be okay, but I am with you guys. Trunk or treating at church is kind of like saying it is okay to get wasted on communion wine or ok to watch illicit videos as long as thepeople in the "film" are married to each other. Grrrrr……Do post on this, Jon, assumikng you agree with me.
Yes, I'll agree with this! I also get annoyed by the double standard of Trunk or Treating.
Yes! Jon, please do a Halloween post about Trunk or Treat and other "Halloween Alternatives." And don't post it till Halloween, because our church's Trunk or Treat is the 25th, and I'm totally going dressed as a Metrosexual Worship Leader, and I don't want to feel all convicted and decide to stay home. I even went out and bought a white belt for my costume.
My church is having on of those this year, and we were all talking about how creepy it is to teach kids to take candy from stranger's cars.
Hmm. I sort of think the difference between trick-or-treat and trunk-or-treat is obvious. For one, you get your treats from a car trunk. Ideally, the candy is from someone at your church, so not only is it safe, you can talk to the people for a little while. It's way more acceptable for an adult to dress up and attend trunk-or-treat and yes, take part in the treats. And usually, there are other great things going on from chili dogs to a worship band. If you get lucky, you can bob for apples, though it's way too cold here this year.
I tend not to be up early enough to be interrupting anyone elses quiet time, although i think i interrupted someone saying grace today
I put my quiet time on my to-do list. That way (a) I have the flexibility to sit down and read/pray any time during the day without having to mess up my family's schedule and (b) If I skip it, I have a reminder right there in writing…. And I also try to stop every hour to pray for the people I've been in contact with during the previous hour…. It's not 40 days in the desert but at least it's something….
Jenny Gann, isn't there a rating system out there for sinful Halloween costumes like those? Goes something like this:
1. Any Halloween Costume (because it's the devil's favorite day) = Repentance
2. Ghost = Loud Weepy Repentance
3. Skeleton = Same as above, but in the Streets
4. Zombie = Fasting & Prayer
5. Witch = Serious Penance (We're talking stack-the-church-chairs-all-by-your-lonesome here.)
6. Sorcerer = Purgatory
7. satan himself = Probably Going to Hell
Harry Potter Character = Going to Hell in a Handbasket
I just say to my husband, "I'm talking to Jesus. Shh!"
There is always something to interrupt the quiet time…just about when I am going to dive to 400ft below sea level…a young ensign knocks on my door "Dad,are you taking me to worship band practice?"
"Dad, mom's at the store…can we get in trouble?"
SCL never cease to amuse me. I love the way the humour is mixed with a simple life lesson. Thanks Jon
Caillou needs some Jesus immediately.
I remember very clearly a number of times when i came down to breakfast before school. My mother would close her Bible with a snap & tell me what a lazy child i was-late for school! Or later that i looked like a tramp in the clothes i chose to wear.
I never understood how someone could go from "communing with the Lord" to being such a b*tch in microseconds.
It's a gift, really… he he he
Man, Kathryn. That must have been so hurtful. Thanks for posting because it challenges me to think about the attitudes I'm reflecting to my own kids when they "interrupt."
Reminds me of going to church and arguing with your family in the car only to get out of the car at church with nothing but big smiles on your face.
I wonder how many times God looks at us and just says "your an idiot"
Every stinking day, in my case.
I use to work at a church in Vegas, have you heard of the Crossing Church?
HA! love it.
That was us, every last least Sunday morning. "OK, we're here" (growl) "everybody SHUT UP and LOOK HOLY!" um, yeah. God had God's work cut out in our case.
I hope the point of this was – maybe sometimes God wants you to use your quiet time with him to show love and compassion and care to others – because that's what I got out of it. Sometimes, God says to me, Becky its time to get out of yourself and serve others. And sometimes that happens when I think I'm supposed to be doing my Bible study. Its incredible how he uses life to show us He's listening.
Prayer bunker. That kills me!
Caillou. Geesh what a weiner whiner that kid is. I weep for society when he grows up and moves out of his parent's home and is turned loose among the rest of us. Anywhooo…
Great post Jon!! Oh, and also? I have a "prayer lair". It's the laundry room. No one but me dares go in there for fear of being put to work, so viola…privacy!!
Definitely on the fence about this one.
In the blue corner it's: being protective of the time I spend with God (I call them Dates with Jesus) and once I set those boundaries I know every imaginable interruption is going to crop up. It always bugs me when I'm trying to have a conversation with my roommate and I'll listen attentively when she's speaking yet when I'm talking she'll be texting someone back on her iphone and has even interrupted me to show me a funny video (which I have passive aggressively call "commercial breaks" in our conversation). Since God "IS" a being, desires a relationship with me, I would imagine it breaks His heart when I've set the time to talk to him and listen to him and I don't give him my full attention in our conversation because of a phone call or a distraction.
HOWEVER
In the red corner: Religion likes to pose as relationship and it's clearly stated in the Bible (1 Corinthians 13:1-3) that if I "…speak in the tongues of men and of angels and have not love I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal…"
I'm sure things will shift once I'm married, but for now, when my friend is calling needing consolation about being "let go" from a job or someone is calling, in a mess, needing prayer… in my opinion, it's a good opportunity to invite Jesus to come with me in that situation rather than saying "oh well maybe next time, Lord"
totally agree! sometimes i think God sends the "interruption" so that we have an opportunity to ask His help and let Him do His work.
I have to laugh at your "commercial breaks". I talk to my mom by phone a lot and she drives me crazy when she talks to her animals. I'll be in the middle of saying something and suddenly I realize she's baby talking her St. Bernard and totally can't possibly be "hearing" me. Depending on my mood, I either start eating carrots, which drives her crazy ("do you HAVE to do that into the phone?" to which I say, "oh I didn't know you were paying attention, sorry.") or just tell her it's obvious our conversation is done, so I'll talk to her later. Which she will say, "oh, I'm sorry, I know you hate that." And she stops. Until she does it again ten minutes later.
So, this is something I struggle with too. If I'm praying in the bedroom, and I hear my husband or one of my kids coming down the hall to ask me something, what should I do? Do I get up and act like I wasn't praying so that I'm not "advertising" that I'm praying? That seems kind of like a secret agent prayer time. But if I keep on going, then I make the "interrupter" feel bad. What to do?
Oh my goodness. I totally know what you mean!
Oh my… I was praying this morning and I heard the phone ring. Twice. The second time I went down to get it but I did stop and ask myself, "Is it okay to stop praying to answer the phone?" Thanks for the reminder that it may be God wanting to answer my "use me" prayer right then and there.
I used to think I was so indespensible that if someone “needed” me I’d better answer the phone right away. Then I became a nursing mom. Now I realize if I can ignore the phone or even the doorbell for nursing my child, well I guess I can for devotional time too. And serve the rest of the day from a filled heart!
Glad to know that I am not alone!!
Jon, I have four kids and I struggle with this too. I have found myself getting angry and short at times at being interrupted. And I have asked God to search my heart and to help me with that. As I mentioned on a sub,sub post, I have also learned that sometimes it's goodto just start reading aloud with whomever comes down. Sometimes, it's appropriate to stop and live out what I'm reading (well- always appropriate to live it out, sometimes appropriate to do it that moment instead of "finishing" the quiet time). I just have to pray for His discernement to know the difference.
One interesting point is to page through the Gospels and look at all of the times Jesus retreated to pray or "withdrew" to a lonely place. You know what happened every time? Those pesky people popped up! (Though its interesting that in the desert those people weren't around…just the enemy! lol! ) But there was always an interruption of some kind. It's interesting to see the way He responded and see what we can learn from it.
Struggling with you on finding balance here….but trusting God that its once again about His grace and leadership in making me holy and not my efforts to be holy.
Great post!
Have you read Vince Antonucci's book "I Became a Christian and all I got was this lousy t-shirt"? He talks specifically about a time set aside for fasting and quiet time that was interrupted. Turns out, God wanted him put aside his quiet time and do something for Him. Awesome book, BTW.
OK. I'm officially convicted.
I know this is funny, but it was as if I was reading my life from this morning. I need a prayer bunker.
Reading about all these people who don’t have time to read the bible or who get up at 5 (!) am made me think of another thing some Christians like… Being self-sacrificing to the point of detrimental physical, mental, or emotional health. Just a thought!
This is sooo true. I remember when my kids were little (just yesterday, right!) and I was trying to have "quiet time". My oldest came up to me wanting something — probably just me — and I asked her to quite bothering me (not in so many words, but the intent and attitude was there). As she walked (toddled) away, I realized how ridiculous, and ironic, it was that I was trying to read God's word but was totally missing the point. I learned something that day.Can't say I've applied it perfectly but it sure helped begin changing my perspective in a number or areas. Funny, I think it is just possible I get more out of my time with God when I get over the need to not be interrupted — when God calls me to apply what He is saying to me in my time with Him, even if its inconvenient.
I'm often my worst interruption during these quiet times. I'm kind of like your kid in the sense that I'll start wondering about something off the wall. Like how many fish are in the ocean. Or what would I look like with a moustache? I'll be honest, I love the how many teeth does a Giraffe have? Classic interruption. But that's me, i'm normally the interruption. I'm an A.D.D. pray-er. That goes for reading as well. And if a sermon is borning….God help me.
I do yardwork. No one appears to be particularly interested in chatting with or to me when I have lawn care implements to hand out for everyone to use. And they have to be pretty serious about wanting to talk to me since I put on my iPod and listen to my Bible Experience CDs. No phones, no computers. The Bible and a pair of clippers is a pretty good quiet time.
"Cry-you," ha ha ha.
I've got my quiet time down to five minutes (or less), while I eat breakfast with three kids chatting around me at the same time. Better yet, I've started using The Daily Bread.
*gasp*
I had about 20 years there where I read Jesus' book. Now I've moved more to the "status update" kind of relationship.
I once attended a class on time management from an author that cranks out books, so I thought I'd listen. He has kids and everything, and I was like, "Wow, this guy's going to have some serious mojo I can steal and use in my life." I can't do it.
He would put a sign on his office door that said "At work" or something, and that was his time to write. No one was "allowed" to bother him. He never did say what happens if there's an emergency, but he was adamant about this time.
How do we get that time?
This absolutely happened to me today! After being convicted on spending daily quality time with Jesus for years, I've finally got to the place of grace and self-discipline where I'm getting up earlier than my children to have time alone with God. Day 3- the kids are awake before my alarm clock. Just when I'm feeling the grace and peace of God come into my life again… I'm grumpier than ever and yelling at my kids. I really do need that time away with God and it makes a difference in my day- but kids seem to sense that desire… how to love my children but still grow in relationship with God?
Quiet time, thanks for the reminder! How is it that we fill our time with so much trivial thinas and hope we have some leftover time for quiet time.."leftovers" for Jesus
how about this – were not focussing on a quiet time once in the day, but God Moments throughout the day, take 10 minutes every so often to think GOD and let him speak to you, it's totally changed how my relationship with God, He's on my mind nearly all the time instead of for a period…. how about having God moments through the day instead of a quiet time. Its totally changed my church!