Rooting for Tim Tebow.
Nov 3rd by Jon- Tagged in:
- Bible,
- famous Christians,
- sports,
- tim tebow
Unless you live outside of the United States, never follow college football or currently attend Florida State, you are required by Christian law to root for University of Florida quarterback, Tim Tebow.
I’m sorry if you disagree with me. I don’t write the laws. I just distribute them when they are dropped off on my doorstep by a pure white dove named Cornelius who works for the Southern Baptist Convention. The stories I could tell about the adventures me and that bird have found ourselves in. Wow! Another day, another day.
If you’ve never heard of him, Tim Tebow is the quarterback for the highly ranked Florida Gators and more importantly, a huge fan of God. His willingness to spread the name of Christ through the vehicle of football is honestly really cool and I am not just saying that because he could crush me like a grape while I flailed my tender writer hands around like a helicopter in self defense.
I dig Tim Tebow.
In fact I dig him so much that I am going to offer him a few words of wisdom for free. I know, I know, I’m a giver.
Here’s some advice for any famous Christian athlete:
1. Never spend time outside a strip club.
Forget about going inside that’s obvious, I’m imploring you to never even hang “outside a strip club.” Every news story that involves a professional athlete and the phrase “outside a strip club” ends poorly. I am convinced that “outside a strip club” is the best place on the planet to get punched, kicked, stabbed, pepper sprayed, drunkenly photographed and arrested.
2. Pick obscure verses.
Cornelius would tell you that if you’re going to paint Bible verses under your eyes, you only have two choices: John 3:16 or Philippians 4:13. I say “Poppycock!” Strong language perhaps, but I wanted to get your attention. Don’t feel like you have to use the same verses everyone else uses. The Bible is massive. Pick something obscure and or violent like Psalm 10:15 “Break the arm of the wicked and evil man …” That would be a perfect verse if you were a Christian UFC fighter.
3. Hang out with Josh Hamilton.
I saw Josh Hamilton, the professional baseball player, speak a few weeks ago and he’s awesome. Not only did he have a powerful story of addiction and redemption, he rifled a mini football into the crowd that almost snapped someone’s sternum in half. Both things were pretty neat to see. If I were you, I would make Josh Hamilton my wingman for some Christian adventures.
4. Join the Power Team when you retire.
Sure, you could be a broadcaster when your pro football career is over but wouldn’t you rather tour the country doing feats of strength and leading people to the Lord? Plus, the name “Tim Tebow” practically writes its own Power Team-flavored nickname. I’d suggest “Tim Tebomb” or “Tim TeBAM” or perhaps the less creative but equally effective, “WAC – Wicked Awesome Christian.” Any one of those would work when you retire someday from professional football.
5. Call Tony Dungy ASAP.
I don’t know how you get the former coach of the Indianapolis Colts to mentor to you but you should make that phone call. Dungy won super bowls, experienced the hurt of getting fired and then watching his former team win the super bowl immediately after he was gone and adopted four kids in his forties when he found out how many African American children were orphaned every year in the United States. I want to have Tony Dungy follow me around and offer suggestions on every aspect of my life. I want him at the supermarket saying over my shoulder, “You’re buying a Mexican cheese dip product named ‘Gordo’s’ Jon? You know ‘Gordo’ is Spanish for ‘fat.’ You sure you want to eat a product that is named ‘fat.’”
Those are my tips for famous Christian athletes.
Did I miss any?
What would you say to famous Christian athletes?
But baseball is Phillies! I'm...
Comments
The FSU starting QB is Christian Ponder. He's having a great season, but the defense bites so no one is talking about him winning the Heisman. Anyway, I was recently invited to join a Facebook group called "Ponder for Heisman (Our Christian is better than UF's!)." Thought you might like that.
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=16254573835...
and they both did "I am Second" videos…which is almost as good as a Billy Graham outreach…
Sam Bradford: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDt3Iu-j51Q
Colt McCoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qygFhxCkFkg
Bradford and McCoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnx2MungsGI
Big 12 FTW!
Ya for Big 12, to bad Mizzou doesn't have any cool christians on their team. Maybe next year
I agrees dwith MarniW and Lindsey UT longhorns all the way go to youtube and check out I'm Second but then again that is what happends when you live in Austin no matter how hard you try you become a UT fan
You are forgetting that EVERY GREAT COLLEGE QB this year is a Christian. Tim Tebow… Colt McCoy… Sam Bradford (I can root against him because I'm from Texas and that team hatred trumps all other fan relationships). I'm not sure I'd suggest hanging out with Josh Hamilton in Tempe, but at the same time they could all hang out and keep each other accountable… and have a cool name like "Josh and the Quarterbacks" or something. I'd buy that T-Shirt.
I have one more suggestion… Marry a Barlow Girl. Seriously, they are still available, and they are slightly older women (which is pretty much the "in" thing ever since Nick Cannon/Mariah Carey), and stinkin gorgeous and talented (I would have a celebrity crush on one of them if I could decide which of them was more awesome. I can't. It's impossible). Plus you'd have instant cred with the youth culture, prompting teens to grow up as your fans, and still be your fans when you are trying to get that one last great NFL season 12 years from now.
And Tebow should definitely join either the Power Team or UFC upon retirement. Or maybe at the end of this season.
Wasn't it Tebow that said he would play in the NFL because they play on sundays?
I heart Jesus loving college qbs…Timmy, Colt, Sammy(the I am second videos just made me want to side hug the heck out of those boys!) I also apparently heart putting 'y's' on the end of peoples' names. Either way, its great that there are young people willing to stand up for their faith in very public forums.
As an OU fan, I am not required to root for Tebow. I understand he's a great guy (though I was disappointed with his justification for Spike's eye-gouging), but Sam Bradford is my man. He too is a Heisman-winning quarterback passionate about his faith.
Check out this video of him sharing his faith: http://iamsecond.com/#/seconds/Sam_Bradford/
He also did a video with Texas quarterback Colt McCoy: http://iamsecond.com/#/seconds/Colt_Sam/
And Colt's video is here: http://iamsecond.com/#/seconds/Colt_McCoy/
Those are two stand-up guys, and a great example to sports fans of what is truly important. The fact that they are rivals yet are united through Christ is a testimony to the world. They have become great friends, even rooming together this summer at the Manning Quarterback Camp.
Seriously, all three are great guys, and I look forward to watching them storm the NFL next year.
Oh and Josh Hamilton has an "I am Second" video as well: http://iamsecond.com/#/seconds/Josh_Hamilton/
I feel that, as an amendment to this law, it also needs to be law to root for Andy Dalton and, more generally, the TCU Horned Frogs. Because we are, after all, Texas CHRISTIAN University.
Even as a UGA Dawg, I think Tebow is a stud, and like the message he HAS been sending, but was very disappointed by his remarks in this article.
http://www.ajc.com/sports/uga/eye-gouging-attempt...
false. when tim tebow plays for florida and they didn't actually get a touchdown that the ref called as a touchdown, causing them to beat your own football team, you are NOT required to cheer for him.
Transplant to Florida, a UofA grad, but I love rooting for the Gators!! My middle son is a future gator in about 4 yrs.
I would advise Tim Tebow to never grow his hair out. I feel like it's a samson thing, but opposite. If not that then there has to be some sort of Nazarite vow he made with God cause daggone he is getting some supernatural power.
Thanks for bringing this rule to light for us. I didn't know I was supposed to root for TT. Now I do… and I will. Tell Cornelius that Graham says hi. He and I go way back… back to the days when he used to work for the baby delivery service and he almost dropped me off at the wrong house.
Jerrod Johnson? Anyone?
My advice for Tim Tebow? Please sin in public, then confess and ask forgiveness. Just so we know you are saved by grace too and not actually as perfect as the press makes you sound. Tim, you have to sin or our theology is going to be totally messed up!
Yes, he does play a decent game of football….he is an awesome quarterback who uses his celebrity to help others. On his off time he speaks at Prisons and does missions work in the Phillipines, where he has gone since he was a teenager.
Nope, I think you covered everything.
In case you doubted today, you're hilarious.
PS I passed out the buttons you gave me at Cultivate
I'm SO proud to wear them!
from a gator-hater great job Tim but booooooooooooo gators p.s. Danny Weurfell (sp?) was an outspoken christian while at uf haven't heard from him lately though
Danny Wuerffel played in the NFL for a few years and then started a ministry for impoverished kids in New Orleans called Desire Street Ministries. Their facilities were pretty much destroyed by Hurricane Katrina, but according to Wikipedia, he is planning to rebuild. I think he does some public speaking too.
I'm a Christian Gator, and after Tim Tebow, Danny Wuerffel is our second-favorite person to keep up with
My cat's name is Tebow… seriously… don't judge me!
My family and I were out visiting different churches in the central TX area when we went to one in New Braunfels. The one Sunday we go there, they have a guest speaker…some kid about to go to UF and play quarterback. I'd never heard of him but was very impressed that an 18 year old kid was that into God. I made it a point to remember his name just in case he got "big" so I could remember when… That kid's name was Tim Tebow. Still impressed but if they play Texas in the BCS I'm going for another Christian QB…Colt McCoy. Plus, I'm from Texas and the Christian Texans come first.
im an OSU fan
i cheered when tebow got a concussion
then i prayed for him and felt really bad
I'm from East Tennessee (go Vols) and I always make the distinction, "I like Tim Tebow, but I can't stand Florida" as if Tebow running around the field doing the gator chomp is not being Florida.
For some reason I root for Tebow, Kurt Warner, etc. like if they are successful then God wins too. Here's to my mixed up logic!
Colt McCoy check out… http://www.iamsecond.com/#/seconds/Colt_McCoy
it's strong.
Question: If Tebow is such a great Christian, why did he end up at UF?
Just kidding!
… but seriously.
Go Colt McCoy and Sam Bradford!
I think he should practice yelling "Get beHIND me now!" like that Power Team member I saw one time. He wanted the crowd to yell and clap and cheer for him as he smashed a full coke can.
I think it's possible to support a man but not his team affiliation
Admittedly, I did graduate from FSU (thanks for the semi-shout out in the blog, Jon) and I admire that he has the character he does both on and off the TV.
i'd love to join the power team
If you dig Tim Tebow that much, then you must be homosexual.
Can we all just get over the constantly-hyped Tim Tebow? Honestly, he's not the only Christian athlete. I like my Christian-stud quarterbacks to be a little bit more understated…a la Colt McCoy. I mean, his name is Colt, he saved a man's life, he's an amazing quarterback, ESPN stops short of treating him like a demi-god (unlike Tebow), and he doesn't play for Florida.
Sorry, I'm a believer but ROLL TIDE ROLL!!!!
I agree w/ the Tony Dungee awesomeness, and….. YOU FORGOT ALBERT PUJOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I work for a Division I athletic department and I love Tim Tebow. It's so refreshing to see someone who's so talented embrace their platform and use it for the good of the Kingdom, rather than worship himself. He is college sports done right! I hope he starts a movement in college athletics. I read somewhere that Urban Meyer said that "Tim Tebow has made selflessness cool."
No. Roll Tide. It may take a big man to cry, but an even bigger man can hold the crying man to 13 points.
As an avid anti-Florida fan, as I am a two-time alumna of THE University of Tennessee, I have to say I'm surprised you've not written about what's been a'happening on our team. God's been hard at work on that team with the team chaplain, Chappy, this season. Several of the young men were saved in the fall and went on to talk about their faith in post-game interviews, which was amazing to hear as a fellow believer. I think we should be raising ALL young believers up who stand in a very dangerous spotlight such as college football.
[...] I do admire the guy, despite being a Bruin. I kind of have to, at least according to the hilarious Jon Acuff. I commend Tebow for being outspoken about his faith, without getting too preachy or Pat [...]
i'm a christian but i refuse to root for tim tebow. roll tide roll.
tired of hearing Christian men raving about football