Seeing your pastor in the wild.
Nov 23rd by Jon- Tagged in:
- church,
- pastors,
- Pete Wilson
You probably shouldn’t have a list of “favorite pastors,” but I do, and Pete Wilson is on it.
He’s one of the pastors of Cross Point Church in Nashville and is perhaps the nicest person I have ever met. In addition, he’s also one of the funniest and recently told me a story I wanted to share with you.
One Sunday night, Pete was headed back to church to preach the 6:00 service. On his way there he stopped at Blockbuster to rent a movie. As he walked through the door, the guy behind the counter recognized him and told him how much he loved Cross Point. They chatted for a minute and then Pete walked down an aisle. Twenty feet into the store and another shopper stopped him to talk about church. Turns out that guy went to Cross Point as well. It seemed as if everyone in that Blockbuster attended Pete’s church.
After a few minutes of conversation, Pete made it to the wall of New Releases. Suddenly he felt a tap on his shoulder, and heard a woman say, “Excuse me.” Believing that this was perhaps another member of Cross Point church, Pete turned, gave the woman a warm side hug and said, “Hey, what’s going on?”
Looking a little startled, the woman, paused, raised the movie in her hand, and said, “I wanted to ask if you had seen this movie.”
She didn’t know Pete. She didn’t attend his church. She wanted a movie recommendation. What she got was a side hug.
I love that story, but I think it highlights a question we all have deep down:
What do we do when we see our pastors out in the wild?
How are we supposed to react? It’s kind of like the first time you see your second grade teacher at Applebee’s and you want to run up and ask, “Why aren’t you at school right now Miss Grondin? Isn’t that where you live? You’re going to put a rip in the fabric of time unless you get back to Cox Street Elementary School immediately.”
And since those pastors in the wild moments can be so awkward I came up with 4 things you can do when you see your pastor outside of church ….
1. Play stump the pastor.
Bring up a really specific, impossible to answer in a short period of time at a grocery store check out line theological question. Say, “By the way, do you mind explaining predestination vs. free will for me, here in the cereal aisle? I’ve only got a minute, so if you could keep it short that would be great.” Or reference a really old sermon they preached by saying, “Remember that time you preached from the Old Testament and you quoted that verse from Proverbs? What was that verse again? It would have been around 1998 or so.”
2. Ask “is this what you do all week?”
Regardless of the “this,” that question is going to be a little awkward. Whether they’re playing golf or renewing their driver’s license, what you are essentially saying is, “Oh, see here I thought you spent all week praying. But it appears that you’re kind of like me. I suppose you need to eat too and go to movies but, I was kind of hoping when you weren’t preaching you were locked in a hermetically sealed prayer closet. Hmmm.”
3. Say, “Is this where my tithe goes?”
This is especially fun to say if you see them out at dinner and they got the large bowl of queso appetizer with chips the color of Purple Rain. “Whoa, appetizers? I didn’t know the church was doing so well that the pastor was able to order apps? And I see you didn’t give the dessert menu back to the waiter yet so apparently you’re going to order some sort of delicious after dinner chocolate volcano treat as well? With my tithe? Interesting. Good to know. Might need to bump that back to 7%.”
4. Tell them they’re shorter than they look on stage.
No one ever gets tired of hearing that sentence. I’m not a pastor, but after speaking at a conference a few weeks ago someone came up to me and said, “I’d never heard of you before, when I came in you looked kind of short and like you’d maybe have one of those mousy, annoying voices that I can’t stand. But you didn’t. I really liked what you did.” You probably shouldn’t use that exact quote, but please know that the pulpit adds roughly 6 inches of height to any minister.
If those options seem too complicated or ridiculous you could always just do what I did when I saw pastor Matt Chandler at a restaurant a few weeks ago – stare. That’s all I did. I couldn’t naturally figure out a way to work myself into the conversation and actually say “hello” so I just hid behind a brick column and kind of giggled like a pre-teen seeing one of the Jonas Brothers. But again, I’m not all that cool.
How about you, have you ever seen your pastor in the wild?
p.s. this should be one of those posts where people who go to smaller churches say, “I play golf with the pastor three times a week, he’s like my best friend” and people who go to bigger churches will say, “I saw my pastor once at Home Depot but got nervous and hid behind a row of broom handles.”
Comments
I like the experience a friend of ours had. She is a nurse who works in post-op recovery. One of her patients was one of our pastors who just had surgery to remove his appendix. She said it was extremely awkward to have to check on his incision to make sure there was no bleeding. She turns beet red when telling this story.
Last night, one of my [celebrity] pastors spoke from the front about how awkward it is to be "spotted" in the wild. Random people wave and shout at him so often that his default reponse is to wave and shout "Hey man!" back at them … but then every so often he realizes too late that they were waving at their friend standing behind him … err … awkward. Well, at least this hasn't stopped him from being friendly out there, giving of his time, and active with the church community.
Before we moved up north, our pastor was kind of on this weird pedestal. Only in my mind-but I saw him as some kind of icon-unapproachable, unknowable. His faults and shortcomings were God's way of hooking him up with sermon examples for 'the rest of us'. He never acted like that but I had him on a mental pedestal. When we moved to Michigan, and a much smaller church, everything changed. Our pastor hangs out at my house, watches too much TV, loves video games, is nervous about dating (he's single and young)
The other day, some friends rented the movie, The Ringer- a very funny movie and I think there is probably only one swear word but it is the big one. Our pastor loved the movie and the following Sunday he comes up behind me and whispers, "When the F&$ did we get ice cream?" I laughed so hard I nearly peed. I never expected to hear a pastor swear. I'm pretty sure God isn't hinging his salvation on a single word- at least I hope not.
I always imagined a hermeneutically sealed prayer closet.
I married my pastor’s nephew.
And when we’d only been dating a few weeks and went to his parents house for game night and my PASTOR was there it was just too much. How do you play balderdash with your pastor? Doesn’t he have a hotline to God that he has to call everytime he catches me lying?
I'm a pastor – just recently moved to a large church in Florida. I'm only an associate, so i don't expect people to know me like they did in the previous smaller town. Just this past Saturday I was out running. It was Yard Sale day in the neighborhood. As I ran past one of the sales I saw the perfect dining room table that my wife and I have been looking for just right around the corner from our house. I got home an told my wife, "I just saw our new dining room table. It's at a house around the corner in their yards sale. It's marked $100, but I bet we can get it for $70." So my wife and I headed back. I had just finished a 3 mile run, I was sweaty, in running clothes, and hadn't combed my hair. We walk up to the sale and the woman comes out of the garage and says, "Aren't you the new pastor at XXXX church?"
DANG – it didn't get the last part of the story!!! my thought when she said that was…"Dang! Now I'm gonna have to pay full price for this darn table!"
Hilarious! I hope you paid full price and not the "ministry rate"
My awkward moment (probably one of many, actually) was at a performance of Les Miserables…with a handful of families from the church in the audience, how do you handle some of the songs like "Master of the House" and the ladies of the night scenes?
My wife's was a double whammy…future mother-in-law who is a pastor's wife…they went to see Miss Saigon with her college dorm…my mom had no problem but my girlfriend now wife still is mortified by some of the content.
Tips for the Wild
1) definitely say hi, wave, acknowledge our existence
2) definitely keep it appropriate in regard to time…being a pastor is sometimes like being president and sometimes being a celebrity (and sometimes being the trashman and other things too but that's a different topic) so if we're out for an anniversary dinner, we don't mind saying hi but we probably don't want you to just join us in the booth
3) definitely let the pastor's wife get the shopping done…it's a kick but my wife often has an hour added to her shopping…that doesn't mean don't talk to her but don't demand an hour of her time (after all her husband is waiting out home, in the sealed prayer closet of course:-)
4) definitely help out with a name if it's been a while and show grace even if it hasn't…out of context, thinking about other things, etc.
5) definitely be ready at any moment (buying alcohol…movies…magazines, etc.) we're out there and when we're in the wild, we're walking through walmart looking for unsuspecting church attendees to surprise!
I go to a medium-sized church, about 350 or so members and my family is actually friends with our pastor. We've had him over to our house and been to parties and such with him in attendence. I like running into him at the store or wherever. It's like running into anyone else! The only time he really seems like our pastor is on Sunday mornings when he's preaching! But I do know other people in our church who aren't as close with him and it's awkward for them to see him in public. They never know how to act.
I remember the first time I saw Rob Bell in the wild. I could not get over the fact of how tall he is. Amazing
having a "spotting" is nothing new for me. I usually like to down play it though.
One of my favorite things to do to "famous people" is pretend like I have no clue what they do.
This worked well at catalyst. Nothing like pretending that you do not know who Andy Stanley is, or for that matter Jon Acuff.
*snicker*
Well, I go to one of those tiny churches, so I see my pastor all over. But I do need to note that my husband is the youth minister, and he is the adult sponsor for one of the high school's FCA, and it's so funny to see kids when they see us in public. Some act like he's a celebrity, and some act like they're his Best Friend. It almost always makes me laugh afterwards!
My pastor is my father-in-law…so I kind of see him all the time. He did perform the wedding ceremony for my husband and I, but he did NOT do the premarital counseling. That would have been pretty awkward when we got to the part in premarital counseling where you have to talk about "it." You all know what I'm talking about.
A few years ago I moved to from Hamilton to Christchurch (I'm from New Zealand) take up a Ministry Internship position at the Church I now attend as part of my Bachelors degree in Ministry. This saw me running the pre-teens youth group and helping out with other youth ministries, under the direction of the Youth Pastor.
The congregation is on the larger-side of medium, with quite a large student population (about a 1/4) … so there were lots of people my age, which was awesome.
One weekend, about 6 months after I started, some of us decided to go stay in a camping ground outside of town for a night, and after setting up and hanging out for the afternoon and having dinner, we found in the same camping ground another group of students from our church, and having also just finished dinner, were sitting outside their tent having a few beers. We sat down and chatted for quite a while, they had a guitar so there was a bit of a sing along and what-not.
The sun set and the night went on, and it got to about 11pm and we decided it was time to head back to our tent. As we said goodbye and walked away, I heard one of the other group say to another, "Finally, we can get another beer, now the youth pastor's spy is gone!"
I'm from a small church, and I am doing an internship at a huge church. I say hi to the pastor and he knows my name and stuff, and I thought this was normal. I was kinda freaked out when people thought there was something remarkable about the pastor of an 8000+ person "megachurch" knowing the name of an intern. I didn't know there were pastors who didn't know most, if not all, of their congregation.
Now I have people come up to me in restaurants from this church that I don't know, and I'm still not used to it.
I go to a small church and know my pastor pretty well, but I don't often see him 'in the wild' – the one time I remember was after I'd just run for a train and when I got in the carriage really out of breath, there he was. That was awkward not because we were outside church, but because I couldn't really talk with all my huffing and puffing…
I love "Is this where my tithe goes?" though – my pastor would find that hilarious.
I go to a larger church- but I grew up there- so I know all of the pastors.
I had to play the piano for the prelude and hymns for a Sunday night service a few months back. I shouldn't admit this- but I took a friend with me and planned to leave right after the worship portion ended. We decided to go to a Starbucks right up the street from my church. We pulled into the Starbucks parking lot at the same time as the Sr. Pastor. He was there with some new members that had been baptized that night. They were there to celebrate. He actually didn't give me to hard of a time for skipping seeing that he technically was also- and he treated myself and my friend to our coffee:)
I go to a 5000+ member church and the senior pastor knows the name occupation etc of everyone! His display of genuine interest is endearing and breaks down the idol worship potential.
As a former second grade teacher who sees adults who were once her students in the mall all the time, the most difficult question you can ask is "Hi _______! Do you remember me?"
When my older brother became a pastor, it was kind of a weird transition for me to make from the inside. I'd listen to him preach the Gospel and encourage his students (when he was a youth pastor) to treat their peers with Christ's love, and the entire time I'd be thinking, "Isn't this they guy that put Play-Doh on my teeth?"
Now that I'm a little more used to the idea of him being a pastor, it's weird to still hear him tell fart jokes and tease family members, "This is a pastor?" Yes, he's a pastor, and he's still my brother. Weird.
I guess I never had a problem seeing my old pastor "in the wild." Our families got along well together and they've even invited us to go on vacation with them. I haven't had quite the same experience in my new church, but my husband and I hang out with the YP and his wife often and seeing them outside of church really isn't a big deal.
Of course, they're also the Southern Baptist type that don't have a problem with people drinking, but they feel that they can't indulge because if someone from the community saw them, it could destroy their witness. I think that's sad, but I'm happy that they care more for the souls of others than their own preferences.
[...] As a minister, it can be a little awkward to be run into. For the next time it happens, check out Jon Acuff’s list of fun games to play. My [...]
I go to a fairly large church. I have only seen the pastor outside of church one time, and it was last year (mind you, I've been going there for about 6 years). It was after church, and my friend and I went to lunch at Brick Oven. When we walked, not only was he and his family there, but they were at a table right in front of the door. He yelled my name and jumped up to give me a hug. It was wasn't as weird as I thought it would be, but it had an element of strangeness.
My pastor actually lives right around the corner from me. I actually knew him as my brother's friend's dad before I knew him as Pastor anything. I see him almost every weekend cutting his grass and have been over to his church numerous times. On halloween, a couple of my friends and I decided to go around town and hit our three pastors' houses. We got tired of walking though, and gave up after hitting our Youth Pastor and the Senoir Pastor.
I was walking across the street one day when a van tore through the intersection and missed me by about two feet. I turned to glare at this reprehensible person only to see my pastor grinning and waving at me!
This is hilarious. I laughed my head off. Mostly because I've had those very conversations with my parishioners in public spaces before. This post has inspired me to post a response. You can find it on my blog at http://www.barryclair.com
I'm reminded of this past summer when my husband, who is a student minister, and I along with a few friends went to The Melting Pot to celebrate my birthday. While being seated, he saw a student from the ministry so he stopped by the table to say hello. I wasn't there so I don't know the exact words, but basically the student expressed how surprised he was that we could eat at a place like that. My husband felt the need to explain that we were celebrating a birthday and we don't usually spend that much on a meal, but I still think it was somewhat unnecessary.
Last Saturday while eating breakfast at McDonalds I ran into my old Senior pastor from a church I no longer attend. I did the only thing I felt I could do and awkwardly invited him to sit with us while he drank his coffee, which he awkwardly accepted. Then we proceeded to stretch a five minute conversation about the unseasonalby warm winter into well over 45 minutes. Looking back I think maybe a warm smile and a wave would have sufficed….
My church is very small, here in Japan. We don't live in the same town as our pastor, so I don't see him out and about. But every so often he will come around for whatever reason, and that's when I see him wearing normal people clothes. It's weird…
I served on a church staff for 12 years with the same Senior Pastor. The thing that endeared him the most to me was that he was the same person at Wal-Mart as he was in the Pulpit. He was always highly visible in the community just being a regular guy. It's not seeing a Pastor in the "wild" that's awkward for me; it's seeing a Pastor in the Pulpit who takes on some weird persona that's different from the one he has when he's grocery shopping!
I attend a church of about 400-500, and when I was first visited the church, the lead pastor came up and talked to me, asked me my name, and where I was from. A few months later, when I went back to visit again, he came up to me, remembered my name, and that I had moved to the area recently. I was so impressed! Even though he is known in the national spotlight, he makes a point at knowing who is in his congregation and what is going on in our lives. Even joking with us, and going by a nickname of PE for Pastor Eugene. One of my friends even dressed as him for Halloween this year, which he mentioned from the pulpit.
Let me add a third option – churches without pastors. I go to a church of about 120, 150 members, and we don't have a pastor. We do everything ourselves, and have guest pastors to deliver sermons, baptize babies, marry couples etc.
But since we've been growing so much, it's hard to keep up with everyone, so we've hired a pastor starting february. I expect when I run into him, I'll wave and say hi. I'm revolutionary that way.
Your P.S. is spot on! I was thinking I had no idea what you were talking about in your post — I have a small church, if I see my minister out in "the wild," I walk up and talk to him like I do any other friend.
[...] Pastors in the Wild [...]
I've been a pastor for a little over 8 months now, and I've worked hard to get rid of the pastor stigma. I don't want to be seen as someone special or holy – I'm a regular Christian doing what God has called me to do. I've asked that they call me Shawn, and not Pastor Shawn. So if people see me "in the wild," I hope they respond as if they would when they see me at church.
I remember being in high school and seeing my pastor (one of the big church ones who seemed bigger than life to a mere teenager) out at some music store. Of course I was buying the Adam Sandler CD with the big ol Explicit Lyrics sticker on it when he walked up so I quickly dropped it and grabbed something much more acceptable, probably Michael W. Smith. After he walked off and my heartbeat calmed down I went back and bought the Adam Sandler CD. My small act of rebellion there.
Now that I work for a church as a kids director it's great for kids to look at me with awe or surprise that I exist outside of church activities. Yes, I do have to buy groceries or clothes or GASP toilet paper. And no, I don't live up at the church, though preschoolers always assume I do. I've always wondered where they think I sleep, maybe next to the super secret bathroom.
That made me laugh because I see Matt Chandler every Sunday…. but most of the time it's on a screen… "flat Matt" if you will
and also, I'm posting this comment from Hiram, GA. If I were still in town on Sunday I would go to North Point and if I saw you I would hide behind a brick pillar and giggle…
The church I attend is very liturgical and sacramental, so as you can imagine the pastors there are typically robe wearing and serious.
The first time I saw one of them on a Saturday morning, he was wearing a Harley Davidson wife-beater.
(Don't worry. His wife was next to him, and she seemed just fine.)
On the other hand, the pastor I grew up with was a friend of the family. Turns out they're people just like us! Who would have known?
If you prick them, they bleed.
Well, not that I tried…
When I was growing up, my family attended a very conservative Baptist church, in which my father was a deacon and my mother taught the children's sermon. My mother does not drink, but for my parents' 20th anniversary they went out to a fancy restaurant and my mother decided to have a glass of wine with dinner. Of course (of course!) the pastor of our church just so happened to be at the restaurant and came over to say hello just as the waiter arrived to drop off my mother's wine. My mother was mortified. She was only talked out of rededicating her life to Jesus right then and there by the retelling of the miracle of turning water into wine, but I didn't see her raise an alcoholic beverage to her lips for ten years.
I saw my pastor the other night going to see the movie 2012… I wanted to say, "But I thought pastors don't believe in the world ending like that. A great worldwide flood…? Really?"
Well… considering my dad is my pastor… I have indeed seen him "in the wild".
I used to work at the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory on Sunday afternoons after church, and the pastor of our 3,000 member mega-church always swing by to get a big glorious candy apple as his post-sermon pick-me-up or for his wife who was pregnant at the time. He also stops by occasionally on a date-night with his wife which is a prime candidate for Pastor in the wild sightings. The best thing is that almost everyone who works at our store goes to his church, so we freak out when he comes in. You don't even have to turn around before you hear his unmistakable voice bursting through the double doors! He comes in like a whirlwind – talking to everyone ordering his apples all at once as we play-fight over who gets to take his order and ring him up, and we comment on how much we appreciated his sermon that day or week and tell everyone in the store – this is our amazing pastor. We love JD, and we're also glad that he loves candy apples
.
It took me a second, then realized that this scenario is a not a worry for me because I see my pastor enough outside Sunday morning that the thought it would be awkward is silly.