SCL

Can we please put TobyMac in a laboratory somewhere and get him on top of this already? Seriously, lock him and Kirk Franklin and Mandisa and maybe Barlow Girl in a room in Nashville and don’t let them come out until they’ve figured out how Christianity can have their own version of the uber popular dance sensation Lady Gaga.

Why?

I have three reasons we need a Christian Lady Gaga.

1. Her music is impossibly catchy.

If you’ve never heard any Lady Gaga music, please don’t google her as a result of this post because if you do, you will never, ever get the songs out of your head. “Just dance” and “Poker Face” are like some sort of neon-colored musical starfish that attach themselves to your brain the very second you hear them. If Bible verses were as easy to remember as her music I would have the entire New Testament memorized by now. And it’s easy to change the lyrics into anything you want. A few weeks ago I did a speech called “Date Less Jerks,” and my friend Jarrett Stevens walked in before it started singing to the tune of “Just Dance,” with these words, “Date Less Jerks, gonna be alright, do ba do ba, Date Less Jerks.” This music can’t be stopped.

2. The lyrics are impossibly dirty.

Dang you Lady Gaga, you’re lyrics are so filthy I can’t even throw out a Christian disclaimer to justify listening to your music. My favorite one to say is usually, “This isn’t a Christian band, but I really like the beat and I don’t really notice the lyrics. I just listen for the beat.” Or another good one is, “The writing is really good, I just like the writing.” But you eliminated any possibility of using a Christian disclaimer or even throwing a verbal canary Lady Gaga when you wrote a that chorus about disco. You know what I’m talking about. Ridiculous.

3. The music is impossibly fun.

You know why you turn that song up loud and sing it when no one else is in the car? Because it’s fun. Lady Gaga makes fun music. But you know who is a bigger fan of fun than Lady Gaga? You know who invented fun and music and sex and all the amazing stuff that all the Lady Gaga lyrics in the world will never truly capture? God. We know the creator of all those things and need to make music that reflects that relationship.

Is there already a Christian version of Lady Gaga? Have I missed her? It’s possible and it’s also possible that Rob Bell’s opinion on the whole concept of having a Christian version of anything in his book Velvet Elvis makes this whole post irrelevant. I’m not sure.

But maybe I am not the only one that wishes there were a Christian version of Lady Gaga.

Have you ever thought, I wish there was a Christian version of _________?

Let’s play fill in the blanks today.

“I wish there was a Christian version of ____________”

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