Youth group rules.
Nov 5th by Jon- Tagged in:
- camp,
- retreats,
- teens,
- youth,
- youth group
“What am I supposed to do, swivel?”
An exasperated friend asked me that recently. He was telling me about a rule he had received as a Christian youth camp counselor. In the contract for the camp, he had been told, “You can only side hug the campers. No front hugs.”
And that’s an OK rule. That makes sense, I get that. It’s designed to protect both the campers and the counselors. But my friend had a problem. Occasionally a camper would break down in tears, say something like, “My uncle just died and it is killing me” and then throw their arms out for a front hug.
Which is when my friend proclaimed, “What am I supposed to do swivel? In that moment, as they lean in for a hug, should I just turn, lightning fast and offer them a side hug? ‘Go ahead, let it out fella, go ahead and cry on my hip.’”
The weird thing is my youth group basically had the opposite rule. At the end of each time we hung out, we couldn’t leave the room until we had all hugged the mandatory number of necks. The youth minister would say, “5 mandatory hugs tonight” and then the most awkward 7th grade hugs would commence. (They weren’t awkward for me, I was rocking MC Hammer type pants and a vanilla ice stripe in my eyebrow, my hugs were dope. Yo.)
But hearing his story about the forced side hug made me realize something: there are no internationally agreed upon rules for the governance of youth groups.
So today, I thought I would set out to right that wrong. To create a list of rules for all youth groups based on the ideas we’ve all discussed in the last 18 months. I give you …
The Stuff Christians Like Youth Group Rules …
1. The youth group bus or van will not be purchased from a dealership named, “Vans that like to catch on fire & buses that break down in the middle of the night on the side of the road on the way to New Hampshire ski retreats.”
2. Only one “dude with an acoustic guitar” will be allowed per youth group.
3. If you go on a retreat and you’re boyfriend/girlfriend doesn’t go, they should expect to get dumped when you return home. Cause that’s happening.
4. All youth group ministers should expect at least one kid to ask for a precise definition of “what it means to be a virgin.”
5. Only tankinis and swim shirts shall be worn on youth group beach trips.
6. All youth group retreats should be held at locations that could double for horror movie backdrops because it adds to the intensity of the weekend.
7. Youth group volunteers who are helping out primarily to relive their own high school glory days vicariously through the teens will be removed quickly and quietly.
8. At no point should there be a circle of back massages during a youth group event. (Saw that happen a number of times.)
9. At no point should a youth minister try to keep a bad dating relationship together simply because he knows that as soon as the church girl dumps the non church boyfriend he’ll drop out of youth group.
10. Every month there should be at least one gross food related game played. Preferably involving baby food. Preferably not involving me.
11. The big tub of orange drink should not be stirred with a youth worker’s sweaty arm.
12. You should pull and eventually apologize for epic pranks, claiming that you want to do “all things with excellence” when you are caught.
13. The one parent who complains about something you did will not be empowered to steer the entire course of the youth group. The 50 other parents who didn’t complain will also be considered.
14. If someone hasn’t complained or taken issue with or questioned something your youth group has done in the last six months you will retreat to your youth room and ask yourselves, “What are we doing wrong?”
15. The guy with the jeep will always let the pastor’s kid ride shotgun. In 1993 that would have meant me and the jeep guy were pretty tight.
16. If the youth minister changes his/her tone of voice, vocabulary and outfit, when they get around youth, saying things like, “Yo, my tweets are blowing up, we ballin’ on a budget,” that youth minister will be hit with water balloons filled with honey.
Those are my rules for youth group, but I’m sure I missed some.
What rules did your youth group have?
What rules for youth group would you add?
Comments
1. Every youth room must contain at least two but no more than ten used and reused (preferrably used once more) couches.
1.i) They all must be no less than 15 years old and at least one must have some sort of inexplicable odor.
1.ii) The total cost of said couches may not exceed $15.
1.iii) During sex talks all students are required to sit on the couches for the sake of relieving potential awkwardness and creating a more "bro-friendly" environment.
1.iv) They may also be used for the use of the Xbox 360 but only if one or more non-Christians are present.
1.v) Remember, couches are not for comfort, they are an evangelistic tool!
17- Every person must hug and shake hands with the newcomers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLGLBVSpBzY
This is "FLAMERS" for Jesus about the "best" youth pastor ever
#1 – our van was carpeted, floor to ceiling in the early eighties – frightening.
#6 – we did have a retreat site off Long Lake in Michigan that looked just like it came from Friday the 13th.
This video encompasses everything about youth ministry & SCL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPI2xYtso-s
Here's another video about side hugs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_Oj0-splZw
That Youth Ministarz video is amazing.
LOL
#6 is awesome. I once covinced a group of middle schoolers that I saw a peg legged man with a shotgun after we got lost inside a creepy camp…what do you know, curfew was never broken.
I really only have two rules. They are rules #1 and # 4. They both say: "Don't do anything stupid. If you have to ask, it's stupid." I don't even remember what the other rules are. But it seems that rules 1 and 4 are enough to hold everything together.
I was once the victim of a swivel. It wasn't pretty.
rule #5 – guys look funny in tankinis
We had a "make t-shirts for every special event and trip" rule. I had SO MANY youth group tees. And we always got one extra large size to add the the collection that hung around the youth room.
[...] love the youth group related posts, and this one is particularly good. These are my favorites. Click here to read the whole thing. You won’t be [...]
all new youth ministers must have their house rolled at least once during their first 2 months.
The kids who feel like they have had a come to Jesus meeting right before the youth group summer trip will not be allowed to go until they have washed their share of cars and sold their share of cookie dough tubs. Am I bitter? Maybe.
It helps if the Youth Leader can build a crazy big bonfire for the last night of a retreat to really emphasize the point he was making about hell. I know that one stuck with me. Of course it also helps if hurricaine force winds kick up just as you get it lit too.
Youth Leaders should not adopt the 'Let's ask Mikey to do it -Mikey will do anything ' mentality when looking for volunteers for #10 and instead should spread the 'fun' around…My 90 pound teenage daughter out ate a boy whose nickname was Big John. The following week she was the last one out in a game that involved eating an entire jar of Tika Masala sauce one teaspoon at a time. She was the leaders go to girl if you will when it came to volunteering.
God bless Youth Workers!
Your discipleship weekends and lesson content should be devoted to the gospel of "Don't Have Sex" at least 75% of the time.
Oh wait, that should go under the list of things you should NOT do. Oops.
Can not BELIEVE you didn't put in — NO PURPLING!
We made our own pop.
to add to no. 6
All youth group retreats should be at real ourdoor campsite where they can learn to survive without hair dryer and spending too much time occupying the bathrooms. City kids need to learn to embrace the outdoors & nature together with all the insects!
Thou shall rap about side hugs.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_Oj0-splZw&fe...
I love it. That's got its own special brand of crazy going on
[...] stuffchristianslike.net (ht: Justin Taylor) [...]
HA! Number 9 is SO TRUE!!
My youth group had 3 simple rules
1. Don't be dumb – this rule was primarily for the boys in the youth group, since guys tend to do stupid things like "Lets see if we can climb on top of the church and jump off" or "Lets see if we can sneak out of the cabin without getting caught" Our youth pastors said "Before doing something, ask yourself 'Could this be considered dumb' If the answer is remotely close to dumb, don't do it."
2. No Drama – This was primarily for the girls, since they get crushes on the boys and spread rumors and generally create a huge hormone driven mess. I say in general because, while this may not be true for all girls, it is more true for girls than guys.
3. Embrace the Awkward – Invariably, when you get a large enough group together and take a trip, awkward things will happen. So, my youth pastors told us just to roll with it, and not let it ruin a good time, ha ha.
You can swear at youth group, IF you want to lick a rock
[...] this post on Stuff Christians Like about youth group rules. Hilarious! Here’s a clip, lots more goodness if you hit up the link: 1. The youth group bus [...]
We had a kid chug chocolate milk with his guacamole chips and fundraiser hoagie while riding shotgun in the Pastor's car. Of course he got sick – and puked out the window while we were in the Interstate… chunks flew back in and hit the kid in the backseat. From that day forward – we agreed – NO dairy on road trips.
lol…I would love to see a youth minister change when amongst the youth….I have never seen it but it sure sounds entertaining!
about the initial hug thing:: Our church has this really weird rule about hugs that have to be performed a certain way to "protect" the congregation and leadership…but we don't follow that rule. We hug each other willy nilly in whatever style is appropriate at the time and so far as I know, no one has complained.
I think my youth group kinda knocks down a few of these rules, but still share in some others. Our group is called Cross Culture. Each Youth camp ended with a terrible home made sandwich which was covered in mayo but still tasted BLAH!! The bacon is NEVER edible, and is a disgrace to pork. Side hugs are for the awkward "not quite friends enough to give a full on frontal hug" and full on frontal hugs are for "brothers and sisters". As far as I know we never played hide and seek but we played this one game were the small groups had to team up guys and girls and go throughout the dark church and find glow sticks in thier team color. We all had to hold onto a rope and we couldnt let go.
Princess Bride the worlds best movie. We had a movie night and they chose to play it in a small room instead of the audatorium, yeah, there were like, no seats avalible.
Oh and I forgot, this is my favorite part about my youth group. The last messege of every camp, no one in the room was ever left with a dry eye. Grown men on thier knees. Seeing God movie in the lives of teens and adults is the most amazing thing I've ever seen.
" and is a disgrace to pork"
I'm so gonna steal that line to describe some of the food around here
No, you may not have a contest to see who can stuff the most Ritz crackers in their mouth while riding in this death trap of a church van. Sorry.
[...] Youth Group Rules [...]
[...] Posted on November 9, 2009. Filed under: 1 | Youth group rules. [...]
This has probably been said already, but:
17. When youth group numbers aren't pleasing to the church board, the youth pastor or assistant youth pastor must tantalize his subjects to bring their friends by agreeing to shave his head if X number of newbies show up.
Oh yay! I've read through the archives the point of active conversations. How fun!
I'm doing children's ministry at my church, and #14 is one of ours. We were worried earlier this year when no-one was complaining (or commenting at all) about our curriculum. Hmm…I should ask the children's director if that changed, or we just accepted that as fact and moved on.
All meeting rooms for the youth group must contain at least one worn out couch that was donated to the church. All "couples" sitting on said couch must be reminded regularly to "make room for Jesus".
The circle of back massages has to be the stupidest idea in the entire world!!! Oh, they are SO annoying, even though I have a bad back and love massages. Well, I should say that I don't mind them when it's all girls… but when you add guys in, it's just an excuse for the guys to feel the girl's bra straps or else the guys are just totally naive and don't see the issues with it.
Our youth group has to be the king of gross food related games… and friend of mine ate grapefruit peels once and actually liked it. Yeah, she's weird. And then earlier this year we played hot potato with baby food and this new girl got it twice in a row… she hasn't come back since.
I was raised on Dr. Dobson, and have just sent him a letter requesting his assistance to help me stop loosing faith in the Christian Church. My Mom respects Dr. Dobson as much or more than any other Christian leader, and she is interested to see his response. I only started learning the truth about the 9/11 attacks last fall. It took me an entire year to convince my own parents to listen to me, and begin reviewing the evidence for themselves. Now that they have thoroughly and objectively taken a fresh look into all the available evidence, they too are now aware of how badly we have been deceived. They now fully support my mission to find out what really happened to 2,993 of our fellow countrymen that fateful September morning. My mom is very interested to see if/how Dr. Dobson will respond. Please read my open letter to Dr. Dobson and share your thoughts at………
http://blandyland.com/?p=459
Does Christ's Church really stand for TRUTH & JUSTICE? That is the question!
Daniel Edd Bland III
http://www.BlandyLand.com
no mooning people while you are the driver of the church van… yes yes, a friend of mine did this
If there is not a rule in the church formed out of the union of a skateboard, the "parlor", some ice cubes and a nine iron, then you need to rethink your role in youth ministry.