Zakk gets vested!
Nov 19th by Jon
“I think they’re layering their bangs right now. It’s this kind of a bunching technique that they’re doing.”
“Hmmm, are you talking about having one bang go right over his eye? I’ve seen that. Where just one triangular swoop of hair stays over an entire eye the whole time.”
“I thought about that, but my concern is that it if we swoop the hair too much it will make him look too emo. The other thing is the tips. Do we frost them?”
That’s the conversation Wes Molebash and I had last night. In the last 10 days, he and I have become social anthropologists focused primarily on an intense study of metrosexual worship leaders. We’re like the Jane Goodalls of Urban Outfitters and Buckle.
Today, Zakk joins us in a vest. Is the monocle next? Perhaps a pocket watch on a small chain? A black cane you can use for emphasis? Hard to say. Probably should ask Justin Timberlake, who I personally blame for the arrival of the vest.
Do you think bankers across the country walk into their vest store one day to buy a new one and were flabbergasted that there had been a sudden run on small, skinny vests? “What are you saying Lou? You’re out of vests? You’re the only guy that sells vests in town. I’m the only guy who buys them. What are you saying Lou?”
But we didn’t stop at the vest. Because Wes has a flair for the subtle we threw in some thumb rings. Wait a second do I see a ring on Zakk’s hand? Is Zakk married? Fear not ladies, he’s married, married to the music.
In about $2,800 we hit our next micro goal and the $50,000 mark. Let’s try to hit that goal before Thanksgiving. Let’s try to hit $50,000 on our way toward $60,000 to build two kindergartens in Vietnam. Let’s tell close to 500 kids that they matter to strangers across the planet because they matter to God.
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Question:
Zakk Attackk, Zakk’s band, goes on tour. What would they name the tour?
Comments
Extreeeemmmeee Love Tour
Those thumb rings are awesome.
"The Agape, Grace, and Goodwill Tour to Reach Mankind"
Strike that… 'Mankind' isn't metro enough…
"The Agape, Grace, and Goodwill Tour to Affect Humanity"
Sorry, I just need to correct your spelling here. I believe it should be "The Agape, Grace, and Goodwill Tour to Affekkt Humanity."
Or to take it one step further "Da Agape, Grace, & Goodwill Tour 2 Affekkt peoples"
I'm concerned that Zakk has no sleeves……..must not have any tats………
that is a must, tats are a must.
But what would he have tats of?
a lot of greek would be involved. Probably a cross and maybe even some barb wire from his younger more impressionable days.
I think hebrew would look cooler
In order to more accurately depict Zakk as a metrosexual worship leader, Jon and I have been studying metrosexuals in the wild. Jon gets mad when I wear my safari hat, but I think it makes the experience more "authentic".
I just laughed out loud. Literally.
Wes, You are an awesome cartoonist! Thanks for adding to the joy….
I see Zakk smiling a little more. When will he have half lidded eyes and "lose himself in the worship"?
He'll get there. His "metro-confidence" is increasing.
So he's still at the Tomlin curious stage? http://stuffchristianslike.net/2008/06/the-score-...
Yeah, does worship-leader-face come before or after the French press?
Only time will tell.
WIll you be able to make him sway slightly?….just before he BREAKS IT ON DOWN with his badself?
Can the next accessory be a hairdo? He needs a faux hawk, or some Robert Pattinson-esque do. Seriously, bring on the hair gel.
Can the next accessory be a hairdo? He needs a faux hawk
"Attackk: We're Putting the Devil on Notice"
Or maybe "On Notice," just to confuse people who don't "get it."
Two thumbs and two big toes up. That's right, I'm wearing flip flops in the time between being barefoot on stage. just to get that winter tan.
I love it ! But maybe tighten it up a little:
Zakk Attakk: Puttin' the Devil on Notice"
When Zakk's dressing is finished, maybe you should make tshirts with Zakk's picture and market them to metro worship leaders. Metro worship leaders wearing a shirt with the picture of a metro worship leader would make a great ironic fashion statement
I will totally buy a Zakk shirt as well as buy them for my brothers for Christmas. Maybe the proceeds from t-shirt sales can go toward the kindergarten.
Good idea! Would be a fun way to raise some money.
[...] Back in October I drew a cartoon based on a blog entry at Stuff Christians Like and sent it to Jon Acuff, the blog’s author. Jon loved the drawing and he posted it on the site along with the original post which you can view here. This has subsequently led to Jon and I combining forces on some new artistic endeavors, most notably Zakk, the metrosexual worship leader. [...]
"Let’s try to hit $50,000 on our way toward $60,000…." What if we could just get to the $60,000 and give $50,000 a miss? It could be like 5 and be right out, but methinks we must (not try to) count to $50,000 and then proceedest on to $60,000.
On a separate note, give the 10% overhead, perhaps we should consider shooting for $66,000? I think we can do it. It's certainly not beyond God's ability.
I think the 10% overhead is factored into the $60000
I think that whether or not Zakk is or is not married to Jett, he should just go ahead and wear a wedding ring. That will avoid that Stuff Christian Women Like #234: Having a Crush on the Hott Worship Leader.
Not that I'VE ever been distracted from worshipping the almighty God of the universe by a cute boy with a guitar…
No of course not! No Christian woman would ever have that happen….:p
Oh, it happens the other way, too, when they get a pretty, single lady singing up on stage.
It's a little creepy to me how much Zakk really does resemble my church's worship leader…
What Zakk really needs is an oversized beanie that hangs 6 inches off the back of his head. I don't know about everywhere else in the country, but they seem to be taking over the ATL.
The name of the tour would obviously be “Get Attackked”.
"Fear not ladies, hes married, married to his music" Classic line right there.
It is going to be sad when Zakk become cooler than me.
The fact that a cartoon worship leader is cooler then me is very depressing.
The Attack(k) of Zakk Attack: Emoting for Jesus
I'd go to that concert.
Whoa, whoa- TWO thumb rings? Looks kinda strange. Exchange one for a spiritually-themed tattoo peeking out of a sleeve and you've got it.
I agree…. should be only a single thumbring… otherwise it's too precious. Zakk would prob. wear 2 at first, but then someone with better Cooldar would tell him that he's overdone, and he'd immediately stuff the second one in his pocket…
it's be call the "Worship like an Eagle" tour, then he has the necessary reasons in place to display the worship eagle.
The tour would be "The Kindergarten 260 Tour", as in God just built 2 Kindergartens with $60,000. (Actually SFL suggested that for the name of the band, but it makes a better tour name.) In addition to worship, Zakk would be bringing awareness to the poverty and lack of education throughout the world.
Zakk Attakk: Off The Trakks
I think his hair should be parted on both side so that it all goes toward the middle. That seems to be the latest craze with hair. It’s not for me, but maybe he’s hip enough to sport it.
"The Attackk of Zakk Attackk"
The vest is perfect!
Hello? Tattoo….
2 thumb rings? Ehh… replace one of those with a leather band bracelet (he made it himself. Actually, he killed the cow, skinned it, tanned the hide, cut it, and fastened the bracelet all by himself – it was on a men's only retreat where they trekked through the wilderness in order to commune with God.) Also, on top of that, add a few friendship bracelets made by the inner city kids he ministered to on one of his many summer missions trips. That'll do it
Zakk can't be a real worship leader until he has on the skinny jeans. We have a bunch of worship leaders and almost all of them wear skinny jeans.
The tour would be called the "Bandage the Broken Hearts Tour". Zakk, as a caring, deep, soulful individual, comes out on stage crying, having spent the last eighteen hours sobbing in his special room of the tour bus, and hands boxes of tissues and hugs out to everyone queued at the stage, as his diamond sparkle tears fall softly in the hair of each person who cries into his shoulder as he hugs them.
At least the churches I've attended with a metrosexual worship leader have had this happen on Sundays.
Tell Wes he needs some makeup next.
I am conflicted about the skinny tie AND the scarf…. Though each looks stellar with the vest by itself, having both of them is awkward for me… I need links to this in it's natural habitat!
He needs an iPhone!!!!!
The vest is the most awesome article of clothing ever, and I cannot express to you how glad I am to see it making another comeback. Again. Unfortunately, I'm sure I'll be waxing poetic (or, more likely, prosaic) about the comeback of the vest again 20 years from now.
So, no less that Bart Millard of MercyMe was touting via tweet (twouting?) the awesomeness of the vest only yesterday. Admittedly, he was referring to an outer, thermal garment and not a fashion accessory, but I wonder if I should consider Bart metro?
I think Zakk needs a fedora. A pin-striped one.
And dark framed glasses…
The Saved by the bell tour.
Also speaking as a metrosexual worship leader, I think he needs some black plugs.
Thank you! Someone else noticed that his band has the same name as the kids on Saved by the Bell. I was getting worried there for a minute….
Name of tour? How about "Loud as Love" or something similiarly cheesy sounding?
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