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Zakk has pants! Zakk has pants!

Nov 12th by Jon
"Just pants, gonna be OK, boo do bada just pants."

"Just pants, gonna be OK, boo do bada just pants."

I’m happy to say that yesterday we raised over $3,000 toward building 2 kindergartens in Vietnam and we were able to add some pants to our Metrosexual Worship Leader, Zakkhaeus Barnabas Fouteknote. Or “Zakk” if you will.

If we raise $3,000 more today, we’ll add not one but two more elements of worship flair to Zakk. (And we’re only about $2,100 away from hitting our daily goal.)

Click here to donate.

(Love the $5 and $10 donations by the way, those are bigger than you know.)

Though I was tempted to dress him in tight lady jeans, because I know some worship leaders are rocking those right now, I realized that it would be too hard for me to avoid quoting the line, “My pants are tight and that’s OK” from the Beastie Boys. For some reason, that period of rap always makes me miss Young MC, so I probably would have had to quote “Bust a Move.” (She’s dressed in yellow, she said hello.) And I promised Billy Graham I wouldn’t use any Young MC lyrics during this campaign we’re doing with Samaritan’s Purse.

OK, I made that last part up. Billy Graham loves Young MC. OK, made up that part too. I don’t know if he does, but one thing I do know is that Zakk loves his new jeans.

There they are, with thick red stitching that seems to yell, “I’m going to make you respect my ability to hold pants together. Other stitches might be content to play a role behind the scenes, but not me. Look at me!” And the completely random white flourish by the pocket is perfect. (Wes Molebash is rocking this illustration.) Is that a dove? Is it a work of art? Is it a white sunrise rising over a sea of True Religion denim? Hard to say my friends. Hard to say.

But Zakk has pants and that’s pretty exciting.

What’s more exciting is we’re about to cross the $40,000 total raised so far on our way to $60,000 and if we hit another $3,000 today, Zakk gets even doper looking. Let’s do it.

Click here to donate

I do have a few questions about Zakk though that I think we need to figure out:

1. If he has a band that plays outside of church, is he forced as someone mentioned in the comments to name it “the Zakk Attack?” If not, what is the name of his band?

2. What does he do for fun when he’s not metro’ing the day away?

3. What kind of car is he driving?

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Comments

@benmordecai Nov 13, 2009

Vespa scooter? Smart car? Retro volvo?

kedmonds Nov 13, 2009

He doesn't own a car. He rides a fixed gear bicycle.

@benmordecai Nov 13, 2009

I think that Zakk needs to be incredibly bedazzled. We should double the accessories and half the cost of them, so when we reach the goal, Zakk will only be rivaled by Bon Jovi

StacyfromLouisville Nov 13, 2009

Or maybe his band name needs a little more mystery….KindernNam 2/60

I'm just saying I think the band name needs to tie into the cause and be one of those "what does that name mean?" so he can tell people about it. That's just how Zakk rolls.

Wes Molebash Nov 13, 2009

Less than $300 to get to Phase 2 of Zakk's wardrobe transformation!

Wes Molebash Nov 13, 2009

We're $50 away from Phase 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!!one!!!!

Shelly In Vegas Nov 13, 2009

We're there! We're there!

im_the_big_sis Nov 14, 2009

zakk should be a mac (kk) snob who edits music and video for his band (down with zakk attakk, saved by the bell is pretty cool) and while it doesn't really go with the metro look, in keeping with all his (kk)s it would be a little funny if he was driving a k car…