Judging who is poor enough for our charity.
Dec 9th by JonRecently, a church group made a gangsta rap video about side hugs. Since I’ve written about the side hug phenomenon a bunch and it’s on the cover of the Stuff Christians Like book, some people assumed I did the video. I didn’t but I did manage to get one piece of really funny hate mail.
Here, as I’ve chronicled on Twitter, is a section of what someone emailed me concerning the video:
“this is not a threat by any means, i have no intentions on harming you or sending someone to harm you. Just dont do another rap video, cause you are about as gangsta as pocket watch.”
First of all, that initial sentence is the least reassuring thing I’ve ever read in my life. That someone has not been officially sent to harm me is not comforting. It’s like the person that is constantly telling you “I’m not crazy!” If you ever hear that phrase over and over again, please know that the person saying it is in fact crazy.
Second, I agree with the last sentence of that. I am about as gangsta as a pocket watch. I was just telling that to my neighbor the other day at my mailbox. He asked, “How are things at work?” And I replied, “Pretty good, but then you know how I roll, gangsta as a pocket watch, holla!”
That’s just who I am and as much as I want to point the finger at the guy who wrote that email and proclaim, “Judgy McJudgerton,” I can’t. And I can’t because he has nothing on me when it comes to being judgmental.
I was reminded of that fact last Christmas when my church small group did a charity project.
The premise was simple. We were giving presents away to needy families. They would pull up to the distribution center. We would walk out to the warehouse drive thru and help them load big sacks of gifts and bicycles and other items into their cars. It was a blast but about midway through I noticed something.
I couldn’t fit the massive bags of toys into the back of some of the vehicles.
Why?
Their speaker systems were too big.
I’d pop the trunk or open an SUV back window and find a huge speaker box blocking my way. LL Cool knew what he was talking about when he said “Cars ride by with the booming systems.” There was bass in your face my friend, bass in your face!
And then I started to see nice cars pull up for the free presents. A tricked out Range Rover drove in, sitting on dubs. (See how natural that sentence sounded from me, like a pocket watch!)
You know what I did next? I started to judge all those people. This is gross but in my head I started to think:
“That dude has a nicer car than me. He’s in a Range Rover. Are you kidding me? They’re playing the system! These people don’t deserve my charity.”
And in that tangled mess of a thought I started to do something that I think is very dangerous. I started to edit scripture.
I looked at Matthew 12:31 and stopped reading it the way it is written: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.
In my head I wrote it like this:
“Love your neighbor if they meet your predefined standard of poverty.”
or
“Love your neighbor if you feel they are going to properly take care of the love you give them and will not squander it by making bad decisions.”
or
“Love your neighbor if you feel they’ve earned it by being humble, responsible parents who have done everything they can to take care of their kids.”
That’s so broken, but I promise you that’s what I did. And what was I really saying? That people in 1984 Toyota Corollas deserved my love and support but people in newer cars didn’t? Where’s the cut off line on that? Is it rim based? If you’re rocking rims bigger than 20 inches I won’t serve you but if you’re sittin’ on 19s it’s OK?
Crazy.
But it’s not an easy issue to wrestle with. There are a ton of messy possibilities. Including trying to define what “love your neighbor” means in any given circumstance. A friend once called me from rehab and asked if I would help him escape by giving him a ride home. I had to turn him down, because giving him what he wanted in the midst of withdrawal really wasn’t what he needed.
I don’t know what to do with this issue, except to say I can’t imagine God’s cool with us putting our human stipulations on his call to “love your neighbor.”
And that’s why the Vietnam Kindergarten project has been so amazing to me.
You, me, we didn’t judge who deserves our charity. We discussed the cause and the reasons, but ultimately, none of us know the kids in that village. We didn’t judge whether they were “poor enough” to be helped. We didn’t say, “well are they really going to use this kindergarten education the right way, according to my expectations?” We didn’t say that because the verse is pretty simple. Love your neighbor as yourself. We don’t get to edit that.
We just get to live it. And sometimes it’s easy. And sometimes it’s hard.
Sometimes it means you give 480 little 6 year olds two kindergartens to attend half way around the world. Sometimes it means you put toys in the back of a Range Rover.
And all we can do is live it.
Comments
I think it's important to also ask questions about the nature of charity itself, as well as the economically homogeneous churches that we consider successful.
This is a generalization, but it seems like it is easier to be rich in many churches than poor. The "poor" are folks that receive from the benevolence ministries of the church. They are rarely a part of the church. The church is made up of folks with extra resources of time and money to give to the "poor". Rarely does the person who receives from the benevolence ministry also serve in key positions in the church. There is a not-so-subtle bias against "poor" people relative to their ability to contribute other valuable gifts to the church. Shane Claiborne said, (loosely quoted) "The problem in the church isn't that we don't have compassion for the poor, it's that we don't know any." We are far cry away from the kind of community we see in Acts 2 where there were rich and poor as equal partners in the faith community.
As for charity, I think it's important to realize that most forms of charity do very little to actually change the social conditions that lead to poverty. A case can actually be made that most forms of charity ensure that very little changes. Charity is a way to help resources flow from the haves to the have nots, but it does nothing to change the system so that poverty is dismantled at a systematic level. Oscar Romero said, "When I fed the poor they called me a saint. When I asked why there were poor they called me a communist." It's not much different today.
By keeping the poor at a distance and using charity as the means to stave off our guilt we are actually doing more to ensure that poverty continues. Poverty is a very complex phenomena. The solutions don't come easy. The biggest hurdle, in my opinion, is that real solutions require those with power to voluntarily use that power on behalf of the poor. Someone wise said, "It's hard to get people to see something when their entire way of life depends upon them not seeing it."
When I was a senior in high school my house got out of control. My cousin started to rob places at gunpoint, and he threatened my mama. So we moved out, and into Section 8 apartments (government subsidized based on economic need). I grew up with no money, so moving there wasn't a problem at all. My problem was always with the external stuff I saw. I would always see new, shiny cars, or people in brand name clothes living in Section 8.
I was 18 then, and now I'm 27. I can't say that I've changed all that much, but I'm much more aware. And I'm learning that what people have or show us externally doesn't show us the whole story. I hope that I can move from just learning it to living constantly. Because plenty of people could my help, and my judgment of them isn't worth anything.
This is the stuff great blogs are made of. This is a monumental issue of faith in America.
I find myself struggling with this all the time in multiple areas. A friend related a story recently…he was studying abroad and his roommate ate his food, used his stuff, even to the point of using his toothbrush…but the kicker for me was that this roommate asked him to borrow money…which my friend lent to him. Subsequently, my friend needed to borrow money and the roommate would not loan him any. Wow…you know those kinds of friends…the 'double standard' friends. What yours is theirs, and whats theirs is theirs…but never vice-versa. If they ask you for something, you're expected to humbly remit whatever is requested…but if you ask them for something, they will say no and you are expected to take your medicine and like it.
As Americans, after we've bled taxes, social insecurity, and medicare from our paycheck. After we've given 10% to the church…the question becomes 'where did the money I worked so hard for disappear to?' And when God calls us to give to someone with a nicer car than we own, with 20's, with an addiction, with ungratefulness for what they are given, with malice or a sly sarcasm for knowing they are taking advantage of the system, even with hatred for the very people that are giving to them…difficult is not even the word to describe how intensely hard it is to give with joy.
The joy comes in understanding what Jesus has done for us and how our sacrifice teaches us about His on a a sesame street level. When we give to those that resent us, to those that take advantage of us…that is when we are most like Jesus. Because it is when we give in this way that we begin to understand a little about Jesus sacrifice for us while we were yet sinners. We are the ones who are blessed when we give. God pours out His love on those who give with a joyful heart.
I can't leave this topic without referencing Malachi…'test me in this and I will throw open the gates of Heaven.' That verse gives me chills…not for money or for prosperity but for the joy of the Lord…because He alone is faithful.
First off love how you avoided the number! I was wondering how you would handle that.
Giving has more to do with the state of my heart than the level of perceived need.
Wow, this is so true. I judge people based on their rims ALL the time. Also by the satellite dish attached to their run-down shack.
Silliness aside, thanks for bringing to light another humbling truth!
This is one of my most common sins. I get so self-righteous – if *I* can use coupons, and not have cable, and drive a 13-year-old Corolla, etc., to make my living situation nicer, then surely the person asking for help while driving a 2-year-old SUV and talking on their iPhone doesn't need charity – that I start judging people and judging whether they deserve what I can give them.
This is something I've really been trying to work on. We all have our pet money-eaters – for me it's clothes (although I do buy them from thrift stores), for a friend it's shooting, for another friend it's electronics – and it's so easy to say, "Mine's OK, but theirs isn't," with no reason for that to be so.
None of us deserve anything at all, so we should try to help anyone who asks of us.
To those who said that the Vietnam project was easy because the people there are faceless to us… I agree with that, actually, though that doesn't make it any less awesome how God is going to use the gifts and the schools. I wonder if we could raise money for a homeless shelter somewhere? The best way, by far, to help a homeless person is by giving to your local shelter. I work at a church and we have lots of people stopping in for assistance, many of whom are homeless and admit to having alcohol problems, or who have outright said they choose that lifestyle because they don't want to work. In those cases it is RIGHT to judge whether to give them financial assistance, because if you did, you would be supporting something that hurts them. But by giving to the homeless shelter, which will feed anyone and try to get them back on their feet via job training, placement, and Biblical counseling, you are truly making a difference to those who want to get out of the hole they've dug for themselves. I know of one youth group who will be spending their spring break this coming year volunteering at a homeless shelter here in Jacksonville. I think that is AWESOME.
Ooo…found this quote by Richard Stearns in my notes this morning: "God never asks us to give what we do not have, but He cannot use what we will not give." Maybe it's too late for others to read, but I was convicted!
Thought you might find this interesting, on the same topic:
http://www.boundlessline.org/2009/12/a-giving-con...
[...] So in my line of work these questions come up all the time. The judgments we are called to make or not make are sometimes very tough on these hearts of ours. Sometimes they speak more about us then they do about the people we serve. I’ll let you read what I am talking about for yourself on Stuff Christians Like. Click here. [...]
Convicting and thought-provoking post. I agree with those who said it's our duty to be obedient to God by giving to others (be it time, money, food, etc), and that what the receiver does with our gift is between him/her and God. If we're giving to someone we barely know, or even someone we do know, we're not always privy to the reasons behind their need for help. Making snap judgments would help no one in that case so we can only give in love and let God take care of the rest.
However, in the case of organizations, I think it is our duty to make sure that they are reputable, and not just a front for a money laundering scheme (not that I know of any, it's the first example that popped into my head)
I would urge you to consider 1Timothy Chapter 5. In this Chapter, Paul defines the criterion by which widows could be put on the list for support from the Church. In other words, church leadership was responsible for STEWARDSHIP, which involved JUDGEMENT regarding a needy individual's situation. Don't beat yourself up for doing intuitively what God has told us to do extrinsically.
Thanks.
A millionaire is need is as needful as a beggar in need.
To each the need is there.
The effect of considering who needs and who doesn't puts a person in a bad position,
that is playing God.
Jesus did in fact meet needs, no matter who.
Michael