Inviting people to church.
Dec 14th by JonFine, I’ll say it.
I don’t know how to invite people to church.
I thought I did, I mean on the surface, “Do you want to come to church with me this Sunday?” is a pretty simple sentence to say. There aren’t any complicated words in there like “transcendentalism.” It’s a short and simple thought, and yet, I have a hard time saying that sentence.
So when I recently thought about inviting a coworker to church I went through a mental list of possible ways I could ask him:
1. The Sneak Attack
I could just slip the church invite into a long sentence that is otherwise about work, effectively cloaking it amongst other items. For instance, “Hey, did you get those promos done? I need the comps by EOD and the code needs to be in place by Thursday. Do you want to go to church with me and did you get the files you need from the software engineer?” See, you didn’t even notice it did you? You were on your way to church with me, weren’t you?
2. The Production Values
The friend I want to invite to church is a graphic designer so I could always focus on the way the church uses graphic design. It’s not a church invitation, it’s an invitation to experience a graphic design wonderland. I could say something like, “You would not believe the way my church designed the set for this new series they’re doing on ‘The Matrix.’ The graphics are ridiculous. I think you’d really appreciate the production values. You should come with me some Sunday.”
3. All the Single Ladies
I know, I know, for shame Jon Acuff, for shame. But I admit, there have been times when I’ve invited single friends to church and may or may not have mentioned the abundance of singles ladies at North Point Community Church. Which is actually pretty dumb, because it’s not like I know any of them. What’s my plan, to invite my friend and then just point out a group of single girls and say to him, “See, right over there? That’s where they sit. Go talk to them. Go on now, git!”
4. Topic Perfection
I could always just wait until there’s a sermon series that fits my friend to a T. That’s sometimes an easier sell, when you can hand them a postcard or forward an email invite and essentially say, “Hey, you know how you’re a red headed, divorced uncle with a beard? Well this week my church is starting a new series called ‘How red headed, divorced uncles with beards can find meaning in this crazy world.’ I thought you might like it.”
5. Lunch Hostage
Bottom line, people like home cooked meals. So invite them to lunch on Sunday and then say, “Why don’t we just meet at church and then go back to my house from there? My wife makes an amazing fried chicken and it would be a great meal to have after church is over. P.S. Which we both will have attended together.”
6. My Kid
People at work are always bringing in sign up forms for girl scout cookies or popcorn fundraisers. There’s a long, proud tradition of using our kids to spur action in coworkers. So instead of inviting them to a school play that your kid is in, wait until your kid is starring in some sort of church musical. Then casually and calmly say, “Hey buddy at work, you know how I went to your little league game last week? I’d love you to return the favor and come see my kid sing in this musical thing. We’re really proud of her. Here’s the address, just look for the steeple.”
I suppose at the end of the day, you could also try something called “honesty.” Or maybe even “prayer.” I’ve heard both of those approaches have worked for several people in the past. Just walking up to someone you have a friendship with and saying, “Hey, I really think you’d like the church I attend, want to come with me this Sunday?” That radical approach could work.
How about you? How do you invite people to church?
Comments
You can combine 5 and 6 with a slumber party – where you get the parents to pick up their kids from school.
The combo, I love it!
I meant "church" obviously. Having parents pick up their kids from school won't help you get them to church…
IF the school happens to be where the church meets it will work, plus you double your sneakiness.
Although it is tempting to trick ppl into coming to church, once they realise it's not a 'rock concert' or 'a comedian' or 'a musical' but it's actually Church, I think they feel cheated and lied to… I think it's good to let them know that it's church… and pray lots! I have been surprised at people's response to a church invite – even done honestly and openly… I find that if I talk about church like it's normal and not like i'm ashamed or embarrassed about it… people act like that…
Also, I find the dinner invite very helpful
"yea, we're all going to Nandos…. we're leaving straight from church… why don't you meet us there @ 6" – just in time for church to start 
)
I agree. I wrote about that once with a post called "bait and switch." It creates such a weird situation.
"Bait and switch" might apply if the Pastor actually preached the Gospel. Sadly, many churches are more focused on the "experience" of tickling ears and entertaining the "seeker". Most messages are topical, feel-good, How-to conversations designed to excite the emotions. There is much talk about the effects of the Gospel but little or none on the Gospel itsel. Sure, they'll sprinkle a few bible verses in here & there like a Hallmark greeting card but there is very little (if any) real biblical teaching or preaching on things like repentance or what it really means to be a Christian. Then, at the end, there will be a 1 minute quickee invite to "Ask Jesus into your heart:. Sad.
Jon. This is awesome. And hilarious. I have no idea how to ask people to go to church with me. Mostly I just talk about how I feel when I go, and how great the experience is when I'm there, and how it jumpstarts my week. Sometimes that'll convince people to come. I sorta let them invite themselves. 'Wow, that sounds like an awesome experience Becky, I'd love to come with you.' 'Really? Of course I'd love for you to come!' But that only happens once every 6 months or so, if I'm lucky. This prayer thing you speak of sounds like it could be a more efficient approach…hmm…
We usually use #5 to get people to go to church with us. It's not that we're tricking them into going, but it's an incentive for them to go. Most unchurched (or formally churched) people have little desire to step foot inside a church and throwing in a free lunch usually helps spur them into motion. At least, that's usually how it works with us. After spending a few months inviting someone to church and they're constantly shooting it down, we finally get to this conversation.
I have been asking myself lately, "if I didn't already come to church would this stuff make me want to come?" and I am not sure if I wasn't interested if I would. I'm not the guy that shows up for a "free weekend" at the time share knowing that they are going to be selling me all weekend. Not worth it, but I guess it does work or the timeshare ppl wouldn't do it.
It's not a TRICK. It's an INCENTIVE. Nice!
Me: "Hey, this Sunday is going to be a pretty awesome sermon. Mrs. Redneck and I would love for you guys to come with us."
Him: "I dunno. I've got some yard work to do, my kids are a pain to get around that early in the morning, and the Colts play an early game this Sunday."
Me: "Oh. I was hoping you'd be able to make it this week. After church, we were going to invite you and your family over for deer steak and rabbit stew."
Him: "Did I say the Colts had an early game this week? I meant next week. We'd love to visit your church and then come over for lunch. Rabbit stew, huh? Will there be desert, too?"
I thought the rabbit stew was teh desert … the big question is, do you pick the shot out or do I have to be careful while I eat?
One can never get all the shot out. There's been tons of times I've chomped down on lead and thought some thoughts that I shouldn't have thought.
So for months my youth group was running about 80% girls. I felt really weird and didn't totally get why so many girls were there because I relate much better to guys. It occurred to me more than once that if I could find a way of letting guys know they could find girls there it would like double the group. Eventually I think word got out without my encouragement and we are pretty even now. I feel more comfortable but the new problem is the serial dating. Things were much simpler before the guys showed up.
I think one approach I see happening a lot is the "Oh you attend church? Well let me tell you why my church is such a great place and why you should come here," approach. I think people want to invite others to church but get uncomfortable talking about it to people who aren't attending church already. Once they find a person that does attend, well they don't have to convince that person church is good in general, just that their church is better.
Which isn't even witnessing at all, it's just churches cannabalizing each other. The Body of Christ doesn't grow; the fingers just get told that they really ought to become toes. (Sort of.)
I tell people that I'm not a sheep thief, but if they would like to come visit, we'd love for them to be our guest. But, I'd rather have folks that aren't yet in any fold to come.
On a side note, one more serious. I think we feel that inviting people to church is equivalent to being a Christian witness. I don't see that as a Biblical idea and it isn't a terribly successful witnessing tool. The problem is we figure, "I'll get my office worker to come to church and then the preacher will be responsible to convince them they are going to hell and need Jesus."
Don't get me wrong, I'm not against trying to get people into church and I don't think for one second that only people that are saved should walk into the sanctuary, but maybe we should focus on witnessing instead of trying to get people into church. Think about how Paul did it. He wasn't on Mars hill checking out the altars and telling people, "hey if you like this place of idols and philosophy you should totally come to service tonight. I have a relevant message you need to hear." He threw down right there.
I'm not saying that everyone should hop up on their desk and have a 15 minute, 3 point sermon with an altar call, but maybe the effective way of filling up the church is to build a relationship with people and tell them about how Christ has saved you and changed you.
Yes, I see this too. That's an excellent point, Nick. I think it's a much more effective approach – hey, forget effective… I think it's a much more biblical approach to first preach the Gospel, then invite to church. It doesn't have to be "all up in your face" preaching the Gospel, just living it goes a long way. We already have enough unsaved, church goers without bringing more. I'm not saying we should never bring an unbeliever to church, certainly not, but I don't think that should be our focus.
This is quite a challenge, though, but it does avoid many of the awkward problems that come from inviting people to church. It avoids the "stealing 'em from another church" problem and the "bait and switch" problem and so on. Plus, the recommendation goes much further when you've already built that relationship with each other through Christ.
Okay, now that's I've written all this, it's time to put it into practice… the hard part.
-Marshall Jones Jr.
Agree. I think inviting people church is a nice first step to reach people who don't know Christ. But living it out in front of them is SO much more important and effective. And actually telling them the difference God has made in your life.
I created an account just to vote this comment up.
We need to lead people to Jesus. An invitation to church is likely to be a part of that process, but building relationships and sharing our testimony are more important factors in my opinion.
Agreed! When I became a Christian in HS my mom was surprised (her experience with professed Christians is busy-body, gossipy old ladies who snub their noses at you). And as she saw that I was not becoming "one of them" she showed an interest, but wouldn't come to church because she thought I must be a mutant or something compared to the rest of the congregation. Then I started singing in church. She can't miss out on me singing. And then there were picnics occasionally. Now she goes on her own and is getting to know and like the people. We use the sermons as discussions and I constantly pray for her eyes and heart to be opened.
Good point.
I'm with you. I think that a personal discussion is much more helpful. Eventually the person may become interested in finding a Church to worship at, but leaving them on the Church doorstep and hoping for the best is not the way to go.
Jesus lived first and foremost with the people to whom He ministered, i.e. incarnationally. A lot of people are uncomfortable with the thought of going to church, so we as Christians are called to be willing to meet them in their own comfort zones first and from there to witness the truth of the Gospel. Church invites are good, but I agree with you in that they can be way to defer responsibility. Thanks for the honesty.
Love all those ideas Jon. I think of it this way. If we're to be fishers of men, then we need some kind of bait. With a lot of people I know, the bait I use is any type of food fellowships or when there's an open gym night for some basketball. These types of bait are the frozen peas to goldfish and the bloody limbs to piranas. We play basketball, then BAM…devotion time! I have a blog post on letting outsiders in. http://nicodemusatnite.blogspot.com/2009/11/letti...
Seriously though, we can use all those ways to invite someone, or be honest. If the person who we're inviting knows us, we shouldn't feel too awkward because they know we're sincere. Shrewd as a snake, innocent as a dove…
nicodemusatnite.blogspot.com
# 6: a church has a children's group, children's choir or arranges camps, and then use a concert, a special "invite the parents" or closing meeting to get the adult people to church.
It's hard to know how to invite people, there seems always to be something that makes this time the wrong time to ask someone to come.
Here's a crazy thought…. Maybe we invite people to church so that they'll hear the Word being preached which will open their hearts to the Holy Spirit which in turn will convict them of sin and lead them to repentance and faith in Jesus Christ.
Nahhh…. crazy idea. Too offensive & boring. Besides, are there even any Pastors that actually preach/teach from the Bible anymore on a Sunday? Now, if you're looking for a feel-good, "How to have a better…" (fill in the blank), emotionally charged & entertaining "experience", perhaps this is what your invited friends will find in many churches today. I mean, that's whats behind all this seeker friendly, emergent, purpose driven marketing, right? Invite people to church. Let them see how cool, relevant and funny your Pastor is and if you like Jesus, then they'll like Him too! Very sad.
Oh I'm sorry, was this supposed to be a funny post today? My bad.
~ktf~
John
John – sorry to hear you've had such bad experiences with church. Hopefully, there's one in your area that you can connect with.
I kind of see inviting to church being something you do when you've already talked to someone about the gospel and know that they either already have Christian beliefs (usually from childhood), or are moving in that direction, but don't really have that connection to a group. At least where I am, in the heart of the Bible belt, "What church do you go to" is about as common of a conversational gambit as "do you have children", and religion is a pretty common topic of conversation even at secular workplaces. I can tell you where all of the kids in my daughter's dance class go to church, for example, just from talking to their parents for that 45 minutes a week while we wait while our little ballerinas do their thing. And if someone doesn't seem committed to a church, that's when I'll often start talking about what our church does. If someone IS committed, well, we often still end up inviting each other to small groups, bible studies, and youth activities.
Interesting. You say "Seeker friendly", "Emergent" and "Purpose Driven" like those are remotely the same thing. They all have their weaknesses and excesses, to be sure – but they come from three completely different philosophies of what the gathered church is about. And your assumption in your first paragraph is also interesting. Jon's post wasn't about why we invite people to church. It was about the stupid fear that many Christians experience when it comes to inviting others to try out their church. I know followers of Jesus that are KJV-only conservative literalists who have experienced exactly what Jon described, as well as folks who attend churches that fit into the labels you so neatly dismiss. Judge much lately?
The guilt trip – hey man, it's ok that you did not accept my last 20 invites. Come this Sunday and I'll forget being ignored. Actually that's ok – I get points with God for the number of times I invite people, and you're my ticket to the top of the list.
lol
Hahaha! Patience, patience, patience. I've been inviting my college roommate to BOTH Bible Study and the weekly meetings of Campus Crusade (that's 2 invites a week since September), every single week. Every single time she has declined. I will not stop asking until she either attends or the 2nd coming. Whichever comes first.
or graduation?
yeah patience. but sometimes I feel like the Airport traffic controller telling the pilot to pull up in his diving airplane, and he just says yeah yeah yeah, maybe if I wake up early next week.
i'm a terrible church inviter. why is it that i have no problem inviting a friend over for dinner or for a football game, but inviting them to church makes me antsy? i invited a co-worker to church last year and i had to psyche myself up for it like I was about to jump out of a plane. i'm a work in progress on this one.
I think it's because you're basically saying, "Sooo….you're not saved, huh? Well, if you want to work on that, I have a place for you! Are you in?" It's a lot more charged than your normal invite for a dinner, where the biggest question is "anyone have dietary restrictions?"
my old youth pastor would invite us to play basketball at the church all the time. Only to have us do 456985.4 hours of work followed by 30 minutes of shooting before he "had somewhere else to be"
That is classic. That needs to be it's own post. I had that same experience in the 8th grade about 47 times
That's funny. I invite people out to work only to have about 456985.4 hours of play with about 30 minutes of unproductive work mixed in. I suck a a youth pastor.
I'm a bit wary of inviting other people's children to church…a friend invited me to church with her when we were kids, and my mom felt strongly that she and my dad should go, too, to make sure she knew what I was told and so they could help me understand it when we got home. It was a very conservative and, um, passionate service, and I was really scared by it (I was probably 7) so that experience probably colors my opinion here.
But, right, back to what Jon was writing about – I think you just leave it open, "Would you like to go with me on Sunday? I think you'd really like it" (the key part is that you actually do have to think they would like it/get a lot of out it). No gimmicks, don't make them feel like they're going to a laser light show when it turns out it's just a Powerpoint wth bullets from the sermon…because that is not the way to get off on the right foot. I do like the idea of promising food, though. Everything's better with food.
You're going to have to update us as to what graphics man says.
Yeah, I second that key part, "you actually do have to think they would like it…"
If you're you're pretty sure they WON'T like it, then what? That's generally what stops me. I don't always like church, and if I can't be sure if I'll like it, why would I want to share it? I'd much rather invite those people around to watch a DVD or go out to something that church people are part of, but not "church".
wow, i've always went with that 'radical' approach… and just asked.
wow, you are a rebel.
I find it easier to invite people to night events, at least initially. Inviting someone to a night event works even if they already claim a church (and in my part of the country, you won't find many people who don't claim a church, even if their only reason for claiming it is that, 35 years ago, they were baptized into a church of that denomination somewhere), while Sunday morning, unless it IS something special and unusual, always feels to me like I'm saying "Liar! You don't really go to church!".
I also find it fairly easy to invite people to events at our church school, especially if they have kids in the age range the school covers. Everyone is looking for a good school, and even parents who are 100% secular often send their kids to parochial schools. And after that point, it's so easy to encourage them to go to church there-and we have an active adult inquiry class which is largely school parents from other denominations who did very little with church until they sent their child to parochial school. Actually, I ended up coming that way myself-my church didn't have a school, or much in the way of children's/youth programming, and while I was happy with my original church, it was obvious the new one was a better fit for my daughter-and wasn't a bad one for me either.
I don't suppose that counts for partial credit?
How about this for a thought – you ARE the church! Inviting someone for lunch IS inviting them to church whether or not you attend a meeting first. It's how you do that that is important.
Amen!!
Reminds me of a t-shirt I almost bought, which I am using as the inspiration for my post tomorrow on "Church" as part of the word a day blog carnival. "Don't go to church" on the front "Be the church" on the back.
The key issue for me in inviting people to church is whether or not the environment I am inviting them to is going to be "safe." If I am certain that my pastor is not going to talk over their heads (or worse, down at them), I am more apt to invite them. That's one of the things I love about my current church, that I can invite an artist and not have them distracted by terrible "christian" art. I also know and trust the church leadership to not intentionally offend non-believers.
The gospel is offensive, so my entire goal can't be to avoid offense, but at least i can aim for the gospel to do the offending, and not the peripheral "Christian" subculture.
Funny you should mention this. My pastor jokes all the time when he makes a point some might consider offensive, saying something like: "I'm guessing if you invited someone to church today you're cringing in your seat right now and wondering why Pastor Mike didn't preach on something light-hearted and funny today, right?" Unfortunately, we can't always tell what the topic will be or avoid topics that may seem more likely to alienate non-Christians. Maybe we just need to invite them to church and leave the rest in God's hands
The weirdest and strangest way I've ever got someone to go to church with me was through a bargain. My wife and I had asked our friend to go to church with us several times and he kept putting us off. Likewise, he kept asking me to go out and have a drink with him. Eventually a bargain was struck. I went to Texas Roadhouse and had a drink with him and he went to church with me for the next month. Turned out pretty good, actually, because he wound up going to church with me longer than he had to.
I'm in college, and so getting up at 8 for a 9 o clock service is like the apocalypse for some people. When I'm trying to invite someone, I usually go for a really long run-on sentence that includes all of the following:
1.It's really fun and I love it and I can't imagine a week without it
2. they serve really great coffee from ***** Coffee House (popular coffee house in our area)
3. afterwards all of us girls go and get brunch it's really fun you should come.
It's tough, but with a deep breath, I can manage it.
But truthfully, the honest *I'm really excited about church* approach has worked for me. So far in the past 10 weeks I've gotten 3 more people to start coming with me.
It seems to me that most people are open to church, they're just unwilling to go without a friend alongside them.
Nick the Geek will probably have an opinion on this comment but here goes. Inviting someone to church is rather lame. It's like inviting someone to go clothes shopping with you. It only works if – a: you like shopping for clothes and b: you like relatively the same clothes. Even though my family regularly attends worship services, people are always inviting us to church. Here's some examples (and my responses of what generally transpires)
1. Would you like to come to church with us? We have relevant teaching and music!
Me: Really!!! Relevant teaching and music???? Wow. Amazing. Does that mean pastors and worship leaders all across the world are waking up on Sunday morning and deciding to preach irrelevant messages? I am supposed to be impressed that your leaders figured out that if they attach that the word "Relevant" to those same old G, C, and D chords they bang away at on the guitar every week that people will drink the "New Coke"?
Yes I have an opinion on this. Mostly I am flabergasted (I haven't used that word in a long time but I think it's ready for a comeback) that people insist on inviting people to church when they already attend church. It's like people think the church world is a closed system and the laws of entropy don't apply (hows that for some mad geek science reference).
To explain, in a given system energy must be put into the system or it will expire as energy dissipates from the system. Within the church world this means that we can't just move people from one church to another and think that the church is growing. We need to actively pursue people who are not in church or the church will grow old and die (literally). This is the state of the church in America because American Christians are lazy and want to ask people who attend another church to attend their church so that they will think there is actual growth happening when in reality the church is getting smaller and smaller.
It doesn't matter how relevant we make our church, we tend to only attract people from other churches. I have often thought that I should start a church but refuse to let anyone attend from another church. Instead insist that only people who have not been in church for at least a year are allowed to come.
Then again I'm pretty lazy myself and would only have myself to blame when the church didn't grow.
Why catch fish that are already caught?
continued….
2. Would you like to come to church with us? We sing the old the hymns….
Me: Old hymns my [bleep]!!!!!! You don't even know what old hymns are. You probably think those fruity things written in the 1920's classify as old (they don't) What about Hayden or Luther, or Sibelius? You probably even think Amazing Grace is a hymn. (It's not) And why does it gotta be old? Why not the new hymns? The Lutheran church has done a great job putting out some recent hymnals in the last several years, employing some of the newer resolution techniques involving secondary dominant and 7th chords. Whoaaaa!!! You didn't expect that did you? Didn't realize that I know my way around some music theory. You thought that because I have product in my hair and I'm wearing Pumas, that I'd automatically want to hang with the guitar crowd instead of with the organ playing team. Gotcha!
continued…
3. Would you like to come to church with us? We're different!
Me: Different you say? Let me ask you some questions? Do you have music? (yes) Do you have preaching? (yes) THEN HOW IS THAT DIFFERENT?????!!!!!!! We'll we're different because we have relevant teaching. Me: See example #1.
So the lesson is….skip the church invite. In most cases, they've been to a mosque or church or some sort of worship center and they'll probably just attend (if they even do attend) out of courtesy. Besides you really can't find any good examples in the Bible of God directing us to invite people to church. But you can find examples in the Scripture to reach out to people in our world. So invite your buddies out to watch the game over a beer and some hot wings. Show your "churchness" by refraining from commenting on the college hotties and respect your wife. Or join their tennis league, or whatever they're into. And the next time you feel guilty for not inviting someone to church, try inviting them to go clothes shopping with you first. You probably won't feel so bad, then.
[...] of people had already recommended this site. Our assistant pastor, Pete, thought I’d like this. I did. He was the first person I’d heard to use the phrase ‘relational [...]
Don't forget about the sports angle: church volleyball or softball. Much easier to ask someone to play sports than actually enter a church on Sunday morning. After they discover that there are pretty normal folks who go, and you know a few people on a first name basis, THEN trying Sunday morning isn't quite as big a chasm to cross.
I'm a fan and have used 2, 4, and 6 but instead of having kids I was the kid and I was trying to get my parents to church!
And about #3 shame shame…
We have people come to church with us in two ways:
(1) We brag on our church so much that they ask to come…
And (2) We invite them to big events. Sometimes this is our kids: My daughter just invited non-churched friends from school to come to Pumpkin Olympics last month. And after that, it's easy to invite them to other church activities (she's even invited kids to retreats — they always come because they know how much fun it will be, and what an environment of love they'll be stepping into)…. I suppose this is the middle school version of #6 above…
And our church makes it very easy once a year, because we hold our Easter services at the Hollywood Bowl. Easy to invite people to the Bowl — if they're nervous about stepping into a church building and not knowing where to go, etc., well, that's all gone. And with everyone snacking and hugging and waving hi and wearing casual clothes, it's just comfortable all around. And then if you want to invite them to "real" church, well, it's now seen as something cool.
Several have posted that we should focus on being the Church and shouldn't invite to church. I agree we need to be the Church. And I agree with others that inviting to a worship service isn't the absolute best way to evangelize. Yet, we should also recognize that people are looking for Community. You don't get that over coffee one on one. People are looking for ways to help others, you don't get to make the change the world impact we long for individually. See Vietnam Project as exhibit A. I don't have any problem inviting people to find solutions to their spiritual needs. And the crazy thing is, a huge majority of unchurched folks would attend church and be involved in church, if they were invited.
Dude-bro you are very right, if they're not invited they're not coming because people don't tend to invite themselves. We long to belong, we want to be where we're wanted.
How many people sit at home on Friday night wishing someone would call and want to hang out? – Many people are not creatures of initiative, or happen to be a bit insecure at the moment. We need to invite people into our community (this requires the real measure of love). There is no point in being passive-aggressive about it. We have to make the reach.
I agree that we need community and I agree that we need to meet corporately but the problem is when we begin to think the church is the solution. If anything the church is an amazing benefit. Sort of like sex and marriage. Sex is pretty well not the solution to anything but it is an amazing benefit to a healthy marriage.
Plays out like this – When someone actually ACCEPTS my invitation and we are all sitting on the pew, and I'm sweating bullets hoping the sermon "entertains" or "moves" them enough that they'll be happy they came and want to come back. Makes me nervous…
That's a whole 'nother blog! The post first experience "was it good for you?" conversation. Followed by the pathetic "it's usually a lot better" explanation and the unspoken fear that your friend now knows you're lame.
YES! My thoughts exactly!!! And after the first bad experience – it's nearly impossible to ask them again!
Tiff, i can certainly understand your anxiety. I feel that too, as a pastor. I want our guests to have a great time and start making friendships. Then, God kinda got on to me about that. Such anxiety arises from our trying to provide a program that satisfies others. That will fail. But, if we look at church services as an introduction to Jesus (i mean for our lost friends), then it isn't about whether or not we do good enough, but whether or not Jesus will be enough. I'm convinced He will be every time. That takes the pressure off me to "perform" and allows me to worship as i need.
Great way of looking at it. I'll try to remember that! Thanks!
good point EKP!
"Today we're talking about hell and tithing!"
THAT'S HILARIOUS RK500!!!
wow, this is really weird that I read this right after I made a comment about sex … but you have to admit it makes sense. If we think sex is the answer to a problem then we end up with this "entertain" mentality that makes us nervous with the inevitable "was it good for you" awkward conversation, but if the relationship is the focus and we build a healthy marriage then sex is an amazing benefit without the weirdness.
The same is true for church, if we build relationships and make Christ the focus then church is an amazing benefit to our Christian life.
Has anyone ever thought about inviting someone to church using the tactics the kids use to invite someone to the prom? Kids these days are so creative and the thing's they're doing are outrageous. How about sky writing and invite? Hire the glee club? Town herald? How about hiring one of those mobile billboard trucks?
Come on, lets make inviting people to church an adventure. When you really want someone come with you (like the prom) you'll put some thought into it! Remember this is a special moment for them as well!
We might as well have fun with it.
Funny and oddly practical. That’s why I appreciate you, Jon.
Unless you're good friends outside of work, inviting a coworker to your place of worship is HIGHLY inappropriate.
I don't think so. We all have happy-hour friends that we never see on weekends. If they express interest then fire away. There is no harm in putting it out there, just don't be weird about it – it's a little awkward already but so is any attempt to expand your relationship to be independent of the workplace.
We have to pick our battles and be willing to take no for an answer.
Amen to that RK5000. It's not like you're telling them they're going to hell wearing gasoline drawers, you're just inviting them to church. Granted it's easier if there's an event or a special speaker or something. Jesus certainly wouldn't have given a fig about being PC or inappropriate. There are ways to invite coworkers, pray with/for them, etc without being accused of proselytizing at work.
Gasoline drawers = priceless
Not to be crass, but i doubt any coworker is going to be thinking about how inappropriate we were, if they enter eternity without salvation. Will anyone in Hell say, "I can't believe how incredibly rude she was to me to try to keep me out of here!"? You don't have to be obnoxious about it or start off preaching through Romans. Yet, in my humble opinon, the cruelest, most inappropriate thing for a Christian to do is withhold the Message of Hope from people who need it.
What's a "place of worship?"
a church, temple, mosque…. You really don't know?
I know how the term is tradionally used to ghetto-ize worship to a few specific buildings where it can be tightly controlled by religious rules and authorities. What's ironic is that worship almost never happens in "places" like that.
As in: "The other day I felt God prompting me to encourage a depressed co-worker but I politely asked Him to wait until I got to my 'place of worship' to speak to me. He understood that I was busy devoting my life to my real god – work- and left me alone."
Seriously? SERIOUSLY? What kind of monster believes in that Your God is Satan if you think that's true. I'd rather burn for eternity than worship a God who allows that.
Jan, I'm not sure what you're saying here, but i think you're trying to say that you don't believe in Hell and if God did send people to Hell then you wouldn't want Him. If i'm wrong, please ignore me.
Besides the fact that Jesus warns us about Hell, here' are a couple of other reason – the need for choice and the need for justice. Hell was created for satan and his angels (Matthew 25:41). God's desire is for everyone to be saved from hell (2 Peter 3:9). But, if you don't want to go to Heaven, what else is there? We are already condemned (John 3:18), but God gives us a choice. That doesn't seem cruel to me, but a lot more fair than i deserve. more follows
Secondly, there is a universal need for justice. God has to punish those who rape, murder, steal. They break His Law and they must be punished. But, God also has to punish the crimes that we don't think are so bad: lying, lust, blasphemey, gossip. If God doesn't punish law breakers, He is indeed cruel and unholy. Jesus offers to accept our punishment – to stand in our place, so that justice is served. We just need to accept His offer. I'm sorry, but I hardly see how that makes God cruel.
I know this is long and i apologize, but maybe it will give you a different perspective.
Jan, you are making the point many orthodox Christians make. God doesn't send anyone to hell. They choose to be there.
yeah I got to tie in with everyone else. If I thought that I would say it is highly inappropriate to ever say anything to my coworkers other than something work related.
"So I was watching the game last night …" Yeah that is just as inappropriate if you think that way. I have my favorite teams and I'm not afraid to talk to coworkers about them, so it isn't any different to talk about Christ.
I like direct, clear communication so I rely on, "You should come with me to church this Sunday, you coming?"
I have lonely single friends who walk into my line of fire, they'll say something to the tune of, "why do you know so many girls? You should introduce me." I'll respond with something like, "If you came to church you'd already know them." or (my favorite), Yes they are very nice but they won't be interested in you because you're not a Christian."
It always seems to be the days I bring a heathen to church when the pastor talks about money or hell or something.
If you know single, attractive Christian guys, I'd love to be your friend. I might even go to church if you were to invite me to meet said single guy friends. But I like my current church so I just might try to migrate said friends to my church eventually.
I am the poster child for this post….much thought!
This is hilarious! I was just telling my husband that I really want to invite our son's friend's parents to church, but I don't know how to go about it. He suggested having them over for lunch on Sunday after church. Yikes! I was much better at this when I was younger. I'd ask anyone who would listen.
I find that the easiest way to invite someone to church is to make it sound like you're being graded on it and offer to feed them after church – like "Hey, our pastor wants all of us to get 3 people to join us at church this Sunday. We're going to this restaurant afterwards that makes the best chicken fried steak in Texas. Would you like to come?". Works like a charm.
My father-in-law, who is not an outgoing person is REALLY good at this. I think it just takes practice and building a tough skin from all the rejection. Most of the time people say, "I feel like the church is full of hypocrites." His favorite response to that is, "There's always room for one more!" I've never heard what happens after he says that. Hmm…
Man, your church is so sexist. What about all the red headed, divorced aunts with … beards out there who wanted a sermon series just for them?
hmmm, good point, I'll do a sermon series on laser hair removal.
To be honest, I wouldn't invite myself to my church. I don't have the choice to not go, though.
I have felt this way at many, many churches. Hubs or I have been on staff at a few of those churches, too. Sometimes it's been a red flag that says "move on." Other times we've chosen to stick it out for the sake of our kids and the sake of the other people at the church. (That is not as egotistical as it sounds.)
I've been a churchgoer my whole life — seen every flavor of worship service from A to Z. And yet there's still not any one of those churches that I would have felt comfortable inviting someone else to attend.
I don't have the answer. For the neighborhood *I* live in — 3% of its people are in church on any given Sunday. That means there should be lots of people to invite, right? Wrong. They're not at all interested in going to church–so inviting them is pointless. We have to completely revamp the whole idea of evangelism. For us that means taking the church to the community versus bringing the community to church.
I'm already a Christian, so your invite to me wouldn't really count, but Single Ladies would definitely work for me.
where's #669?
Why is this so stinking hard? I mean, other than because I am a total coward. I must say that I have used your above mentioned ploys, er, tactics, um, ministry tools. I think I will give the direct approach a try. Good article.
OK, are you all reading this?….I WISH someone would invite me to their church. My family travels a distance to go to a good church, but we've not connected there because of the geographic gap. The Bible studies have cliques and groups that have known each other forever, so as "outsiders" (meaning we live 15+ miles away…yeah, that's way inconvenient for people to travel that far to our side of the river for a social, I guess) we don't have much in common. Our kids don't go to the same school, and we don't have the same circles. Blah, blah..sorry, I'm on my own soap box now. So, we've tried 13 churches on "this side of the river". Now, they aren't ALL that bad, but a few of them were crossed off the list immediately because the "relevant sermons and contemporary worship", but they felt more like 'the world' but cleaned up, and left us wondering why we didn't even have to open up our Bibles or have any moment of "Hmmmm, that really makes me think of what God is trying to show me or what the Holy Spirit is trying to teach me here".
Ok, so the reason for this post: if someone, anyone, would invite us to their church (and hey, an invite to lunch would be awesome too!), we'd go! That church, like mentioned above, may not be a good fit for our tastes in worship, style, etc. But, if it's theologically and doctrinally sound, we just may go back next Sunday. Same for our 18 yr old daughter. She's basically stopped going to youth group because in her eyes, it's more social-circles than Christ-followers. She's gotten 1 personal invite to church in the 3 years since we've lived here. Yeah, I'm bummed. People are relational, they want to be invited and included, and I can't think of a better invite than one to worship, learn about and praise God – together. Next week, we're going to the 5000+ member Baptist church not too far away. Geez, with all those people in town you'd think ONE invitation? At least we know they'll be food at the Sunday School class!
Jaxnurse, I would like to give you a personal invitation to come to our small church in Eastern Ky. You children will still not be going to our schools and the commute will be kinda hard on you. But, you and all your family are invited to our church full of misfits, hypocrits, sinners and altogether broken people.
Haha! Yay, thank you…a real church invite! That would definitely be a bit far to commute from FL, but still, I appreciate it!
Hey Jaxnurse, I'd like to invite you to our church in Gainesville, FL. It's very diverse and I have to say I really like it. It's the first church I visited when I moved here and I've been going ever since. If the commute's not too far for your family you should most definitely check it out, even if you can only do it one time. Let me know if you want more details.
Thank you Luvs2Dance! I now know there's hope for some invites. Well, I'm actually just south of Jacksonville, so Gainesville is still a bit too long of a commute! Thanks for making me smile, though
I know I would have started going to church years earlier than I did if anyone had invited me. In high school, someone invited me to their youth group once, and I went and liked it, but it was the last meeting of the year. No one invited me back the next year, so I didn't go back. I actually wished someone would invite me. In college, again, someone invited me to visit a church with her once and I did. Neither of us liked it, so that was the end of that. I was too nervous to visit churches on my own, at that point, but I was always willing if someone invited! When I did finally start going to church on my own, several years later, I chose the church where I'd visited the high school youth group, because it felt at least a little familiar. (Our new next door neighbors have invited us to go to church with them, by the way, but we already have a church.)
Your story breaks my heart.
Wow, I'm sorry you didn't get invited more often. I'll keep your story in mind next time I find myself chickening out of inviting someone to church. After all, the worst thing that can happen is they'll say no.
Statistical speaking, 84% of people that are invited to church will say yes and come…just saying
What are we as Christians, who are in possession of the truth, so afraid of? Rejection shouldn't be the problem.
I'm pretty passionate about this. I don't think it's fear rejection or even fear of failure. I think it's fear of Lordship. We really like Jesus saving us. Don't know we're so keen on His getting to tell us how to live.
Hilarious hyperbole, Jon!
Great thoughts, Jon. But if this post were truly Inspired, wouldn't there be 7 techniques?
The evangelist David Nasser says that the guy who first invited him to church gave him 5 reasons to go. Those 5 reasons: the 5 prettiest girls from his high school! Just sayin! Now he's leading thousands to the Lord!
Oh, and #3 totally made me laugh. All of us single ladies appreciate that one. Okay, maybe not all of us appreciate it.
[...] Acuff hits the nail on the head again, with this post about how to invite people to church. “It’s funny because it’s true.” (Acuff’s Stuff Christians Like is [...]
“Going to church makes you into a Jesus follower, like going into a garage makes you into a car”
Isn’t it amazing that the 1st century CHURCH(called out or separated ones)…the People/Bride/Body/Temple/House/Family, had NO concept of “going to church” they WERE the CHURCH with all different kinds of meetings or assemblies….the main one being gathering in each others homes to eat
Acts 2:42-47
Who turned the CHURCH into a corporation or a “service” or a show with only One Giant mouth(the “senior pastor”) and tons of little ears?????….1 Corinthians 12…..