SCL

I was raised with Santa and I distinctly remember being heart broken when I found out he wasn't real. For me it was more the fact that I'd been lied to than anything elsel. That, combined with the fact that Jesus was NEVER a focus in my very Catholic childhood, has basically brought me to this:

I've got a almost 5 year old & an almost 7 year old. I tell them Santa is a lovely story, but he's not real. We can read about him, watch movies about him, but that's it. He's no different than Spiderman. I try to explain/demonstrate that we should focus on God's mercy as we reflect upon Christ's incarnation – after all, the Cross is the best give any of us are ever going to get.

That being said, I don't want them to go crushing any of their friends at school by telling them Santa isn't real. I don't want my kids to be the ones to break the hearts of other kids.

My kids (4, 3, 1) know the story of Santa, and love it. We watched Rudolf last night, AND LOVED it. (Though, their fave Christmas classic is Little Drummer Boy. ick.) That being said, they know it to be a story and nothing more. They know it is pretend, and that some families think its real. We are are definitely not ANTI-Santa (except for the whole sitting on a creepy old guy’s lap part) but it is pretend. Let’s save their faith in the unseen for reality. That’s what we do.

I suppose you could treat Santa as Saint Nicolas, the early Christian matyr who did bring poor children toys, and a symbol for peace and charity and just be done with it. Think of him as Jesus disciple on that one day of the year. Without him, a lot of people would have less of a clear vision of what Christianity is all about.

This will be a bit lengthy but just thought I’d toss them out there… My wife and prayerfully toiled over the issue for some time when we had our first child. Ultimately we decided not to do the Santa thing… here are some of the reasons.

Among other things we discussed, wouldn’t it be better to establish a pattern of honesty with our children by telling them the truth about Santa? Wouldn’t it be better that they grow up with a confidence that, even in the small things, we were honest with them?

I explain to my children that with the game of Santa that some people play their gifts are dependent on their good behavior throughout the year… I explain that it is a ridiculous standard of perfection that cannot be kept. (Romans 7:18)

It sends a message on top of that, when we buy gifts for them anyway,and say that Santa overlooked their bad behavior, that behavior really doesn’t matter apparently…

I reasoned with my four year old and she totally understood. I said, ‘Sweetheart, are you good all year round? Do you do things sometimes that get you in trouble?’ she said ‘yes daddy’ I said, ’so if you have to be good for Santa to give you gifts… do you think that he should bring you any?’ she said ‘no’. Then I went on to explain that mine and her mother’s gifts to her and her brother aren’t based on their goodness. They are given because we love them. She totally got it and said that she understood it and even later hugged me and said ‘thank you daddy for loving me and brother.’

Christmas is such a wonderful time to share about the Birth of the Savior its true. But oh how much more can be demonstrated! I explain to my kids that I love them and their gifts aren’t dependent on their goodness. It affords me to explain to them that their mother and I are bad sometimes… that we sin too. I asked my daughter if she loved me, she said yes… I asked her if I am mean sometimes and shout at her on occasion if I’m angry (rare). She said yes… I asked her if my mistakes every now and then make her not love me… she looked shocked that I would even pose such a question and said no… I still love you.

So explaining that they get gifts from us and from their family because we love them and not because they’ve been good… what door does that open for me to begin explaining? hmmm that sounds so familiar… (Eph. 2; John 3:16, THE WHOLE BIBLE! ha)

I can then explain to them the most amazing gift ever. The gift of eternal life and salvation. That knowing we can’t be good and in fact because we are bad, God sent Jesus to save those who will forsake this world and trust in Him.!

So we don’t do it… and yes we get villified for it… told that we are robbing our children of the joy of Christmas… coming from unbeliever’s that comment doesn’t bother me.. coming from brethren… it saddens me. How inoculated to our culture have we become when we would dare make a statement like that. To even propose the idea that there is any mythical story that can enhance Christmas or that the Biblical narrative behind Christmas isn’t sufficient for a joy filled holiday to me is to flirt with idolatry…

I did mean to add in there also that we do watch the Santa movies, frosty, etc… but they understand them to be fantasy just as my son understands Superman & Spiderman are fantasy and my daughter understands that Cinderella & Belle are fantasy… I did Santa as a child and when I learned the truth about him, EB, TF, and so on… I felt stupid. I started remembering comments I’d made about them to adult relatives and such and how foolish I must have looked and how they knew the truth. I was a bit upset. I also had a slightly difficult time reconciling the belief in those myths with the reality of Jesus for a time after.

We have a great time with pretend. We do, though, teach our kids to respect that other families choose to let their kids believe in Santa. That it isn’t their job to be the school yard herald and proclaim their knowledge. I tell them that if asked whether they believe in Santa they are not to lie. They are to tell the truth. But if not asked, or if they just hear a friend talking about it. Keep their mouth shut about it. It isn’t their place to do that. While we don’t agree Santa should be done by Christians, we know that is between each family and God.

I figure by the time they figure out the truth about Santa, they won't be listening to anything I say anyway. I know I didn't at that age.

@michael lol good one… that made me literally laugh out loud… thanks ha

We don't do Santa with our kids. We don't ban him or anything – we watch the claymation movies and "Elf" and listen to the classic song by Eartha Kitt (may the Catwoman rest in peace), but we try to make it clear that Santa is a fun story, a mythical creature, like Clash of the Titans or Hannah Montana, and while some people believe he is real, he isn't. We've told them about St. Nicholas and how the story got started, and since all of their cousins believe in Santa, we tell them that even though they know the truth about Santa they are verboten to break the illusion for others. I just can't bring myself to lie to them about something so trivial. I know a lot of people who are actually judgmental of me for that – "You're hyper-literal! That's not lying

! It's sharing a good story! I did Santa as a kid and it never was a stumbling block for me!" I think they hear me and think I am saying, "You are a lying liar who lies to children in order to create and subsequently shatter hopes and dreams." In actuality, I don't care if they do the Santa thing. It makes sense to me. I know the kids enjoy it. I know they aren't being malicious. It's just something that feels wrong for me, for our family, because I worry, like your friend did, that my kids will think I'm lying about more important things. If my friends have thought of a way around that situation, then good for them, but I frankly am too lazy to be bothered with (1) perpetuating such an involved myth in the first place (reindeer noises, hiding the gifts, making and consuming cookies and milk on Christmas Eve when we already have three other family events going on, etc.) and (2) trying to think through a good way to explain the whole Santa meets Jesus concept later on down the line.

We don't do Santa at our house. I want full credit for the fun gifts (only 3 from us) that they get. But the kids know who he "is" – we say that he's like a fairy tale. Older daughter knows the origins of Santa. But despite our best intentions, I overheard the kids playing "Santa" the other day, with one kid pretending to sleep while the other left gifts. Also, middle kid said the other day, when I said that it was winter now, "Santa coming soon? For pretend?"

Yeah. Not sure how successful we've been.

I don't have kids yet, but I'm pretty sure I'll just go the route of telling them about the REAL St. Nicholas, and letting them be the obnoxious kids who ruin it for everyone else……and kudos, by the way, to BenofBenandJacq on page two who brought up the fact that St. Nick slapped a heretic. I just learned about that in my history class. It was one of the best things I've learned this year.

My parents always told me Santa Claus wasn't real, and as I got older, they would see other parents telling their kids about him or people bringing him up at christmas, and they would make smug little comments like "we never lied to you." I thought it was hilarious as an 8 year old, like a big secret I was in on because my parents were too cool to lie to me.

I have never heard so many harsh things about "Santa". I don't recall when I was blessed with the truth about Santa but it never messed with my believe in Jesus or GOD. I was raised in a christian home who "played", as it has been called here, the Santa game. I have 3 boys who all believe in Santa as well as know that Christmas day is really the day we celebrate Jesus's birthday. When they get older they will understand Santa more as the image that St. Nick has been given as well as they will know that Dec. 25th is not really the day that Christ was born… just the day we choose to celebrate it just like when we have their birthday parties on days that are not specifically their birth day.

I see no harm, since it has never caused me harm, in letting children be children with their imaginations. As long as they get all the facts as they grow and mature….. I don't always believe that kids mature at the same rate so they will know in their own time as to what is real and what is not.

Just my two cents and I know it will raise some eyebrows and words but I stand by my words.

My Mum always told me that Santa was a fun make-believe game of pretending that everybody played. She also said it wasn't nice to tell people that Santa wasn't real, even if he is make-believe, because that would ruin the fun of it.
This meant that as a kid, I knew the truth, but I was never a jerk about it. Plus I never had the shock of finding out I’d been deceived.
Thanks Mum! You're smart!!

My Mum always told me that Santa was a fun make-believe game of pretending that everybody played. She also said it wasn't nice to tell people that Santa wasn't real, even if he is make-believe, because that would ruin the fun of it.

Why can't Santa be a friend to the Holy Trinity? Sort of like what other parents have done, teaching about St. Nick (which I think is a really cool idea, by the way). When it comes down to it, Santa isn't a contradiction to the Christian faith; he's a loving, giving, charitable person who expects nothing in return. I think a happy medium is to explain that Santa Claus does good work, God's work, and let him contribute to the greater Christian faith without incurring lighting bolts (that part made me LOL, btw). That way you don't destroy the magic of Christmas for kids, your own or others, and you don't kill God with Santa.

This is a hard one. We got caught up in the "fun" part of Santa. We didn't actually "lie" but we didn't "tell" them the truth about Santa. My spouse calls him “Santa Fraud” . Mom reminds me that I made Santa footprints from the fireplace to the presents out of baby powder, and it was really a lot of fun, so yeah we did teach them about Santa. The church we attended with our children actually had Santa come visit but they knew it was grandpa. I might have even continued having fun with Santa but teaching children’s ministry changes my perspective on a lot of things.

One of my big problems with Santa (other than he is now become a retail marketing tool), is when I am teaching children (in the ministry) they confuse Santa with God. I do not think it is my place to say to the children “Your parents are lying to you, there is no Santa”. However I gently correct them and say, “No that is God, or no that is God’s Son Jesus”. They also get God and Jesus mixed up, so my job is to teach them.

One of the things I have done in the children’s ministry for years is sing. “He sees you when your sleeping he knows when you are awake”, and ask them who am I talking about. They yell “Santa”, then I start teaching them about how God loves them and is watching them and knows when they sin and when someone is mean to them and when they do right, that no one else may know, but God does. A funny thing, I sang the same song to the teens last year and they got REAL quiet, and then one of the boys responded “a pervert? It is kinda creepy”. Oh I laughed hysterically, never thought of it that way.

We also teach the children (at the ministry) to say CHRISTmas and then ask “why do we say CHRISTmas?” Teaching them CHRISTmas is all about Jesus CHRIST, even what the word “Christ” means. It sound corny but it helps them think. I also take the top off a decorated box and ask, “What does God want for CHRISTmas?” As they look in the box at their reflection in the bottom of the box and I tell them, “The best gift you can give God is you!” Teaching them how by being obedient to God they are showing God they love Him.

I realized that Santa is so out there everywhere that he had snuck into the ministry too. So this year I made a decision to totally “de-santize” the ministry. I have been gradually pulling Santa out in the past, yet this year I still put up “stockings”. I didn’t think much about it until the thought hit, “what does this have to do with Jesus?” So next year I will not put up stockings, no big deal I still have lots of decorations.

Because we now know how horrible Christmas can be to some children we buy tons of $1. gifts and have a huge CHRISTmas party and make sure everyone gets a gift. After talking to the teens about CHRISTmas, I decided they need a CHRISTmas party with gifts also. Should you feel guilty that your child has lots of presents? No, that wouldn’t change anything, but you can teach him how to give to others at Christmas. We teach the children that Jesus got presents and we give presents to each other to celebrate His birthday. We also teach the Bible does not tell when Jesus was born even the wise men (actually called Magi) brought gifts when Jesus was 40 days to 2 years old.

So if I had it to do all over again, this is what I would do. I would take Santa out of the house. (Yes he is everywhere else, but that is a good start.) I would totally focus on Jesus reading a small portion of the gospels everyday until Christmas, and read the Bible every night. I might read about the original “Saint Nic” and explain “because he had the love of Jesus in his heart he wanted to give to children that were poor”. Odd I remember as a child I wondered why a certain hateful rich girl got lots of presents from Santa and the nice poor girl got nothing. How far away from the original thought behind gift giving has become.

If your child asks if Santa is real, you may want to explain the difference between pretending and real (as you probably have at other times). If you make such a big deal about what all Jesus did for us, Santa want be so important. How does eternal life and life more abundantly, ask and you will receive, and being giving the desires of your heart and more than you can ask or think compare to toys? Romans 6:23, John 10:10, Psalm 37:4, Ephesians 3:20

There are well meaning Sunday School teachers that have told children that Santa to have the wrath of mothers that were told that Santa is a lie. Then there are children that feel they need to “enlighten” other children and the parents have to confess Santa is not real. It is kind of like choosing to eat healthy; there are choices if you want to do the right thing, yet you don’t force down everyone else’s throat. You make the choices that are right for you and your family. It is not about division but coming together and celebrating the greatest gift of all Jesus.

My kids just seemed to come of age. Well they're 14 & 12 I cant remember exactly when they found out, but it certainly wasnt a big blow up of you lied to me!?!

We always celebrated Christmas as Jesus birthday but also had the fun gifts that show up on Christmas morning with different wrapping paper.

fun article to read

Laughter is the only way I can deal with the pain of being rejected by my own mother. If I didn't laugh, I would cry. Your comment wasn't the kindest either.

[...] to add my thoughts to all the Christmas and Santa posts that have come out. (You can see some here, here, here, here, here, and here; if I didn’t link to yours, then leave it in the [...]

We kept it simple with our kids. We told them Santa is fun but not real. They have coped well. They didn’t go out and tell every child that Santa is not real. AND best of all we get the credit for the presents NOT some figment of their imagination!!!

How about all of the above? This is what I mean first we embrace Santa with open arms teaching our kids te real tory of Saint Nicholas and where some of the traditions we now have for santa come from. If we do that we will kil the God like santa and also will combine Jeus and santa!

another con about just simply killing santa would be yourkid would be the one telling all he other kids that santa is a fake!!!

http://velvetgsus.blogspot.com/ Yes a shameless plug

I killed Santa for my kids when I got mad at my youngest's whining and told her I bought the presents. Full story on my blog. I wish we could all just throw Santa off a cliff (metaphorically speaking – hang on is it possible to get metaphorical about a mythical personage?) with the Easter bunny and the tooth fairy and all the rest. Con #1 is right.

[...] Read the hilarious details of Jonathan’s three points HERE [...]

My biggest problem with Santa isn't Santa. My biggest problem is everyone who ruins it by trying to push Christ out of Christmas, in favor of worshiping Santa.
We (my sis and I) believed in S and put out cookies and were amazed they were gone the next AM and neither of us are all jacked now that we are adults, b/c of believing it as kids. I don't think Santa is bad for kids to pretend with, but be careful how much time and effort you put into making your kids believe it.
My wife and I tell ours who St Nicholas was back in the day and what he would do for the kids of his day and that is who the Santa character is based on but Santa is not real; not like Jesus is, And that Jesus is the real reason for Christmas. We also celebrate with a Birthday cake for Jesus on Christmas day.
I just read an article where a "Town hall", or some local gov't building had a nativity set out on the lawn and the ACLU didn't like it so they were forced to either take it down or put a Santa on their lawn as well. How dumb!
Maybe I can tell my kids that Santa was a sheppard who tended reindeer in Bethlehem???
People who don't believe Christmas is a Christian Holiday, need to find a different holiday!!!!!

I didn't read through all the comments yet, just the first ten or so.
I have to say I am absolutely happy I came across this site/blog/whatever. It totally hits my off-beat comedy-loving sense of humor. And you speak Christianese to top that off. AWESOME.

[...] Not knowing what to do with Santa [...]