The guy who always flips his Bible open to the exact verse he needs.
Dec 1st by Jon- Tagged in:
- Bible
Wow, sorry to hear you’re going through such a tough time right now. That sounds really hard. Have you tried flipping your Bible open? No, I don’t mean reading your Bible, I mean “flipping it open.” Literally just flipping it open to whatever page your hand lands on and then reading that verse?
I don’t want to brag, but I have a 100% track record of success with that approach. Maybe that’s my spiritual gift. Is there anything written about the “art of the flip” in the Bible? I wouldn’t know because I’ve never read the whole thing, but there must be, because I’m really, really good at it.
Sometimes when straight flipping to a verse feels too easy, I’ll bust out a move like magician David Blaine and throw the Bible in the air against a window. Whatever verse it opens up on is the one I go with.
But you’re an amateur, so you should probably start with the simple approach and just flip your fingers through the pages like the wheel on Price is Right. Big money, big money, clickity, clickity, Jeremiah!
See that, I landed on Jeremiah 38:7. Let’s see what the Bible has to say today about your uncle’s gambling problem which is perplexing you right now:
“But Ebed-Melech, a Cushite, an official in the royal palace, heard that they had put Jeremiah into the cistern. While the king was sitting in the Benjamin Gate,”
OK, OK is your uncle by any chance named “Ebed-Melech?” No? Is he a Cushite? Has he ever vacationed near the Benjamin Gate? No? Hmmmm.
Ahhh, I see what’s going on. Your uncle loves to gamble right? Well have you ever been to the casinos in Philadelphia, Mississippi in July? I know, that name doesn’t even make sense, it’s like calling your city, “Chicago, Arkansas,” but I promise you it’s a very real place. And although it’s a nice place, during the summer, Philadelphia, Mississippi is like a cistern. It’s about 1,000 degrees, the air is so humid you can drink it, and there are rows and rows of people physically attached to nickel slot machines by gambling card necklaces they wear. Very cistern like.Very, very Benjamin gateish.
Wow, man. What a fliptastic interpretation! Sometimes I even surprise myself.
You’re welcome.
What? Context? Meaning? Bigger picture of the theological ramifications of the text’s heart and soul? That’s adorable. You need to trust in the gift of the flip. I’ll pray for you.
Clickity, clickity.
Comments
Who is going to be the first to create an iPhone app to flip a virtual Bible?
I suppose since God controls even the fall of the dice–"The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the Lord" (Proverbs 16:33)–we should be open to God moving even in our weakest moments. And flipping, which I've done, comes in my weaker moments: trusting in the hope of the miraculous when taking hold of God's living word doesn't seem to satisfy.
Seeking the hand that guides the dice is good; seeking the heart of the One who owns the hand is better.
Heh… the bible app on my iphone selects random verses when I shake it. Flippin' paper is so old school!
Bible Verses Free
Looking for Daily Bible Inspiration? Or even Hourly Bible Inspiration? This application gives you a new Bible Verse each time you launch it. The verse is then saved in your Bible Verses List for future reference.
Oh my. Kind of gives a whole knew meaning to the term petting zoo……
Yeah. I don't do the Bible flip to solve problems, though I have done it just to choose a book from the Bible to read.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcyNJXz9cZA&fe...
Yes, it's a rap about side-hugs….
My hermeneutics professor in seminary called it "luck-dipping" and had hilarious stories of peeps how had this go bad for them after attempting "the flip". Maybe he should have called it "not-so-lucky dipping".
Ok, so I don't have that ability with anything but the book of Acts. I was able to prove one of my friends was most like the apostle peter by flipping quickly to Acts 2. I was able to reference that Paul was immune to snake venom by flipping to Acts 28:1. I studied that book in lame eigth and ninth grade classes and now have a pretty good handle on it. It switches from Peter to Paul in chapter fourteen. I do know someone who likely has complete mastery of the bible, and he is the oldest guy I know, and he drives the church bus. He recently retired from the Associate pastor position.
Dude, sarcasm. You know, like the post itself.
lol! Sarcasm is for suckers.
I used to flip-but always ended up in Ezekiel where God talks about the doom and destruction he's got planned for the wayward.
That is true that they use sarcasm, but it is not unheard of to flip open to the exact verse you need at that exact moment. It has happened to me before, and it was useful, very useful.
*Grin*
Starting my work night after my last choir rehearsal ever, because now my job interferes with my one extra-curricular activity I enjoyed more than anything, I was feeling pretty down. This post had me giggling. Well, in my head anyway. Externally, I grinned. Thanks.
Bible Bingo! I actually know of people who have had their lives changed by it but they didn't know much about God/Christianity at all when they did this so i think God cut them some slack
and of course i never use this approach…much Yeah i'm guilty
At 15 I asked God to tell me if I should date the (non Christian) drummer at our school. I flipped and found something like "King Asa did what was right in the eyes of the Lord." The drummer' name was Asa. God was laughing so hard. It was a short lived romance as my Youth Pastor told me to tell my parents or he would. And I haven't flipped since.
My Bible got wet when I was walking to church in the rain, and now it doesn't flip. Does that excuse me from Bible reading?
lol!
I have often solved my problems with the Flip method, but not many lately. Maybe that is why I can't seem to figure things out…
Anywho, I am actually from MS, and drive past Philadelphia all the time when going home to visit my parents in Corinth, Mississippi. You definitely got the humid summer part right.
4 Life,
Josh
Lovin church in Tuggeranong Canberra
I was always so jealous of people who could pull off The Bible Flip and slightly terrified that if I tried it, I would end up on a verse about Balaam’s talking donkey or something. What do you do with that?