“Do you consider yourself a pastor?”
Someone asked me that once during a Q&A at a conference. That one threw me for a loop and I answered it the best way I knew:
“I consider myself terrified.”
That’s the truth. I don’t know how to do most of this, so these weird moments are a mix of abject fun and slight terror. Like the time I mentioned having struggled with porn in the past to a reporter. You know what the first line of his article was? “In addition to many other problems, Jon struggles with P.” Awesome. Thanks fella. “Many other problems.” Fantastic.
But no one tells you how to do smart interviews. So you do dumb ones and then realize later, that was dumb. And part of the reason this whole thing is so weird is because I’m boldly and bravely tackling such hard issues. Like today’s. I don’t see Mark Driscoll or Rick Warren stepping to the plate on this one. But I am. We are. Today we’re going to settle something that is divisive and critical and currently tearing the church asunder:
Is God Mac or PC?
That is, up in heaven, is he cranking away on a Mac or a PC? Does he love the iPhone or is he currently listening to Michael W. Smith’s greatest hits on a Zune? Does he have a little apple sticker stuck anywhere?
I feel like lists work well on blogs, so let’s break it down list style and weigh all the facts.
1. Macs are beautiful and glimmery white in their design. Christ and God are always represented as the “light of the world.” PCs are often dark. God is definitely a Mac.
2. As soon as you own an iPhone you start to feel a potpourri of pity and shame for anyone who does not own one. Someone whips out a Blackberry and you immediately, smugly think inside, “That poor person. Pushing on physical keys. The horror.” God doesn’t like that arrogance. God is a PC.
3. Apple makes real efforts to improve the planet and recycle their products. God loves that. God is a Mac.
4. Apple is notorious for rejecting apps that people try to put on the iPhone. God doesn’t reject anyone. God is definitely a PC.
5. PCs are often plagued by viruses and crashes. Much like sin, God hates that. God is definitely a Mac.
6. Mac commercials are constantly mocking people who use PCs. God hates mockery. God is definitely a PC.
7. You don’t have to learn a complicated operating system to use a Mac. You turn it on and go. Same with God. Repentance and salvation are not complex systems designed to confuse people. God’s a Mac.
8. PCs are constantly needing to be upgraded and updated with the latest software and operating systems. Just like sanctification. You are constantly changing and being renewed. God’s a PC.
9. Macs take a very holistic approach to computing. There’s iLife and iTunes and iPhone. They all work together seamlessly. Just the way God wants to be integrated into every part of our life. God’s a Mac.
10. Some people treat Apple’s Steve Jobs like he’s God in a mock turtle neck. Turns out God is not cool with that. God’s a PC.
11. Macs are very intuitive. When you want to do something, you don’t look up how to do it, you just do it. With a PC, things are often backwards. When you want to shut down for instance, you have to click “Start.” The Bible is very intuitive too. Proverbs lays out pages of simple wisdom that just makes sense. God is a Mac.
12. Macs are all about outside appearances. They look fantastic. But God cares more about what’s inside. Macs are too vain. God’s a PC.
13. Macs make music easy to enjoy. They’re more artistic and often the choice of graphic designers and photographers. God is a great fan of the arts, as evidence by the colorful sunsets and sunrises he paints each day. God’s a Mac.
14. Macs are really expensive. God’s not. He paid the cost. He paid the debt we owed to him. God’s a PC.
15. The Mac logo, an apple with a bite out of it, is reminiscent of our fall from grace in the garden of Eden and God’s forgiveness of us. God’s a Mac.
16. The Gates Foundation has given millions and millions of dollars to help people around the world. God’s all about generosity. God’s a PC.
17. Apple stores are not designed like traditional retail outlets, but are more like aesthetic sanctuaries. They’re practically consumer churches. God’s a Mac.
18. Mac is constantly teasing us with information. There is a tablet. There’s not a tablet. God, on the other hand, is much more direct with his love and purpose in our lives. God’s a PC.
There’s the list and I’ve got to tell you, I’m stuck. I have a PC desktop and an Apple laptop. I don’t know who to score this one as anything other than a tie. How about you?
Is God a Mac or a PC?
What evidence would you offer to support or deny either decision?
Comments
God is a BeBox.
Yes, God is Linux. Stable, well-designed, and free to anyone who wants Him
My husband's response (he's a CTO at a web-based company) : "Shame on him…. God has a computer of every type, and he loves and uses them all equally. God is a Mac, a PC, a Linux box, DEC, alpha, Sun, RISC/6000……. The list goes on….."
Remember I am all things to all people. I am a Mac, PC, and Linux Box at the same time. (I do use multiple monitors on each…of course.)
LINUX!!!!!!!!!
I have a mac desktop and a pc netbook…
PC is like the old covenant. Macs are the new covenant. We are no longer under the law of sin and blue screen of death.
At teh risk of stating the obvious:
God is God. He doesn't NEED a computer!
(That said, I make $ fixing windows machine. I get my work done on a Mac.)
I would be really depressed if God used a PC or a Mac. I'm sure he has his own customized version of Linux!
i think he is a linux
God is multifaceted and meets whatever needs you might have. God is VMWare.
And boy do I wish I could come up with something regarding VXWorks, not that anyone would know what I'm talking about.
God is a Ubuntu. Ubuntu is simple, free, and clear. It lets anyone create applications for it and it helps you.
well duh God's a Mac.. a unibody at that. Because we are all one body of Christ.
Is it just me, or does it seem like all the PC arguments still are about how good, awesome, superior or beautiful the Mac is… and God really is all these things!
[...] God A Mac or PC Saw this post from Stuff Christians Like and had to share it with you all. [...]
Who's god?
Sorry Jon, can't agree with point #8 either technically or theologically. On a technical standpoint, Macs have had far more OS releases and upgrades than PCs, which is evident by comparing their respective Wikipedia pages.
Theologically, sanctification involves human Christians being "upgraded", not God. God doesn't need upgrading, nor can He be. So this point falls flat, sorry.
God is a Mac — we are PC's . Someday, when the world is redeemed . . . we'll all be mac-like.
a PC is a personal computer, a mac is a specialised form of a personal computer, so therefor it's a PC.
having said that, the article focuses on the things that make up the dominant operating systems for each (Windows and OS X).
firstly, point #5:
OS X is currently one of the most insecure operating systems on the market – far more so than newer versions Windows (admittedly Microsoft has improved tremendously in this apartment).
This point should be on the PC side, especially if you consider all the alternative operating systems you can use instead of Windows, and the inherent security in them (see Linux)
secondly, point #13 I'd like to point out that iTunes is bloated, and has poor support for open royalty free formats such as Ogg Vorbis and FLAC. Plenty of Linux distros ship with media players that integrate very well wit your workflow, and is built with support for "iPods" and what not. and to my knowledge, OS X's only real merit in this area is the presense of IEEE 1394, AKA firewire. Photoshop is also available for windows, and I'm certain there are plenty of decent video editors available for Windows and Linux among other operating systems.
One of your readers stated something along the lines of "there's 1 true mac", and "thousands of different PCs".
I personally don't know what God looks like, so personally saying to m, "this is the appearance of the one true God", would instantly convince me that this appearance is that of a false god.
Since the appearance of God would be subject to interpretation, the many different kinds of PCs shows us our own interpretation of God.
If the bible contains any passages pertaining to the appearance of God, I'd like to know of them.
another reader named "Brain" stated above that " Macs have had far more OS releases and upgrades than PCs"
this is false.
below is a short listing of the allows operating systems
Mac
* OSX
PC
* Windows
* Thousands of Linux Distributions
* BSD
* Solaris
considering these alternative operating systems, the "PC" has literally thousands of releases and updates every year, most of which aren't relevant to everyone. The amount of updates available for the Mac's operating systems still pales in comparison.
and my final point comes around as a hobbyist programmer.
I've met plenty of people who program for Windows, and even more people who do coding work on Linux.
What of OS X? Just one single developer!
Till it gets to OS X users, I've also had next to no trouble getting non-programmers/non-developers to compile code.
to me that says pitifully few OS X users even ponder how computers work.
in a religious manner I'd say they operated on blind unquestioning faith.
Make of the above what you will, personally, God is a PC.
Ha! As far as #2 goes… God may be a PC but Christians in general are most definitely Macs. It's not good enough to just own a Mac and be happy with it, but they have to share with everyone how great the Mac is and feel sorry for those who don't have one. They can only hope everyone will let Mac into their lives before it's too late. For one can never truly experience computing if they do not accept Mac as the superior product.
I guess no one has heard what mac really stands for M = magnifying the A=all mighty C= creator. Enough said!
The stupidity of this just blows my mind. Not even funny.
God won't tell you if She/He/It is a PC, a Mac, or even exists at all.
God is living in the cloud; He might be running Google Chrome OS.
"Is God Mac or PC?
That is, up in heaven, is he cranking away on a Mac or a PC?"
He's definitely on a PC. Haven't you ever heard the song, "The Windows of Heaven are Open"?
GOD IS A MAC NO QUESTION
I'm sure God's neither. He probably has some super advanced holographic microchipped wireless device with unlimited storage and internet
[...] Find out HERE! [...]
Oh this so way too funny!!! He's gotta be a MAC user. My husband calls me a MACSNOB and every time he is having PC issues he grumbles something about wishing he had the money for a large screen iMAC.
[...] [...]
Jon, I think you should do a post on how Christians say OMGoodness instead of OMG.
P.S. I know your mom. She is a good friend.
God is helpful and loving…God is not only a PC…he's the MS Paperclip!
As an owner of a laptop PC, and iMac, a Zune and an iPhone I have concluded that God is both.