Looking for Goliath.
Jan 6th by JonIf you change clothes in a handicapped bathroom stall at work, never start with your pants.
For some reason, people in other stalls freak out if you strip your pants completely off in a bathroom. I find it’s best to start with your shirt or sweater. Focus on your torso until the bathroom is empty and then change out of your jeans.
These are the valuable lessons that people like Max Lucado refuse to share, but not me. I’ll tell you everything, because right now, everything is weird.
I learned the bathroom lesson after a quick trip to Chicago. I had spoken to a bunch of people as the last speaker at the Cultivate Conference. Then I got up at 4AM the next morning and caught a flight to Atlanta. I rode the train right to work, grabbed a clean pair of khakis out of my car, which I had left behind, and changed back into work mode.
Less than 12 hours later, it was like the whole Chicago thing hadn’t happened. The 150 folks, the speech, the Q&A session, that was fiction now. Fact was me sitting in an IT meeting looking at an excel spreadsheet.
Has that ever happened to you? You had a quick brush with an extraordinary life. You got to do something you loved doing. It was a mission trip you went on. You worked with some kids and remembered how much you love teaching and how little you like being an accountant. Or you painted or played music or did a million other things that sent a little shockwave through your heart.
“This, this is it! This is what I was created to do. I am alive in this. This is me!”
And then you went back to a day job. You went back to the real world. And that other thing, the music, the ministry, the whatever, faded back into the recesses of your imagination.
Those moments are not fun. Those moments can be incredibly frustrating. I will not try to soften the edges of those moments with pithy words. But I will say, I think I know why I keep having those moments.
My disappointment of trying to live an extraordinary life in the middle of an ordinary day stems from one simple fact:
I don’t want the gift of invisibility.
What’s that? That’s the season of life God usually grants before things get loud. Call it training, call it refinement, call it whatever you want, but it’s usually a time when regardless of your best efforts, things do not seem to go your way.
We hate those periods. We hate them because we are constantly searching for “Goliath moments.” We want the big, bold dramatic moments when the spotlight shines bright and we do something great. (A recent survey showed that something like 80% of the millennial generation felt like they’d be famous when they grew up.) No one wants the shepherd part of David’s life. The idea of being alone, in a field, for years with a bunch of sheep doesn’t inspire anyone. You can’t put that on a poster. You can’t fire up a crowd with tales from the quiet years of David’s life. But the truth is, you don’t get Goliath David without Shepherd David. Before he fought a giant, he wrestled bears. Before he became a king, he learned to be alone. Before he was great, he was invisible.
Maybe you are too right now. Maybe that thing you’re trying to start is not taking off. You’ve got a New Year’s resolution that you’re sticking to because this is going to be the year where you step out on an adventure and do something big for the Lord. But it already feels a little small. And that feels frustrating and really isolating, but you’re not alone in that.
Look at the Bible. Moses? 40 years of invisibility before the burning bush. Joseph? Years in prison before he became Pharaoh’s right hand man. Jesus? 30 years of invisibility followed by 40 days in the desert before his ministry became public. Over and over again we see the gift of invisibility in the Bible.
I’m in the same place you are right now. Yes, the book comes out this spring and that is a dream of visibility come true, but speaking wise, I’ve been pretty invisible. I honestly thought that after I spoke at Cross Point last July, I’d have the opportunity to speak at more churches on Sunday mornings. I thought, and this is a little embarrassing, that after I posted video of me speaking I’d have more chances to do that. You know how many times I’ve spoken at churches on a Sunday morning since July? Zero. Know how many times I’ve done that in almost two years of doing this site? One.
Then on Monday, I got rejected from the leadership program at work. Weeks after I helped lead thousands of people from around the world to build two kindergartens in Vietnam, I got told I wasn’t a leader. For the second year running. That’s not fun. It’s not fun wrestling with invisibility 40 hours a week in a cubicle where Stuff Christians Like doesn’t matter a lick. But I am convinced God gives us the gift of invisibility. I am convinced his timing is best. I am convinced he’s got me placed here because the people I work with need to know his love and that this important. I am convinced he has bears he wants us to face before we face Goliath.
That thing you’re trying to do, whether that’s start a ministry, follow your dreams or pour into your kids as much love and truth as possible, that thing is important. Don’t worry about your Goliath moment, it will come. And when it does, you’ll be glad you wrestled some bears first.
Comments
I'm an apprentice in a ballet company (which means, back row, no solos or even semi-solos, or anything I would consider "important") for my second year. I have had lots of moments, most when I'm there, actually, where I feel invisible. Thank you for writing this. I am about to start up again and I needed to hear that God has a purpose in these sometimes heart-wrenching situations.
This was really Good. You can come speak at my church's youth group. But I can't pay for your flight. Or hotel. Well there ya go.
Thank you.
Really enjoyed the article. I've always had dreams (or delusions) of grandeur. Wanted to be Time's Man of the Year back n Junior High. Wanted to go to Hollywood and become a famous actor as I studied theater in college. Wanted to be one of the 10 best preachers in America as I started out in ministry. Now I just want to serve God and let Him get the glory. The question for the dreamers is, "Can I be satisfied being a shepherd?" There are a lot of shepherds out in the fields staring at sheep and gazing at the stars. Can I be one of those guys and be content? If I never get a Goliath moment, will my life have been worth living? ABSOLUTELY! Those sheep need tended and if that's what God wants me to do, I will let others slay the giants while I keep the sheep safe and in line. If He's got bigger plans for me, then I know He'll bring them about in His timing and according to His will. I just have to be ready when Goliath needs to be taken down if that day ever comes. Great article. Made me think and I love stuff that makes me think!
THANK YOU! Been having that grumpy, “no one cares for my life” (although not under dramatic circumstances as David, obviously) feeling this week. Was reminded last night of how much God has been teaching me about Himself and how much my faith as grown over the past few years, even when my life seems like it’s on hold. “Seems” being the operative word.
May you receive God’s NEW mercies today with a humble heart,
Mandi
Oh man, oh man! This hit directly to my heart!!!!
As a stay-at-home mom with big dreams, I find myself in the shepherd David moments more than I care to count. Thank you for this reminder that those moments matter just as much as the biggies.
You are making a difference Mr. Acuff.
Absolutely beautiful.
Thank you.
I needed to hear this.
Last summer, I went to this great 3-day Christian music festival with bands and speakers. It was fantastic being surrounded by Christians singing praises aloud all day and hearing Matthew West talk about not "going through the motions" in life…but then when I got home and returned to my job at a daycare. I was hit with a MAJOR case of feeling invisible. I wasn't doing anything amazing like the speakers said to do, I was taking care of a bunch of kiddos. (Of course, I know the kids are important and I love those kids, don't get me wrong; but it's not exactly touring the world and preaching the gospel or something). I remember writing things in my journal about feeling like I was made for more, yet stuck and not able to do anything about it.
All that to say, thanks, Jon, for your encouraging words. This was just what I needed to read. To view that invisiblity as a gift, as intentional training time from God, puts things in a whole new perspective. I understand what you're saying about you not having speaking opportunities, but I think your time will come! And in the meantime, remember that God is using you mightily to speak to our hearts every day.
Jon, this is exactly what i needed to hear. I’ve been struggling with my New Year’s resolution (I know it hasn’t even been a week yet!) and to other people it may not be a big deal but I know that I will be rewarded in the end (although that many not be for many years to come)!
Thanks (with a BIG side hug!)
yeah.. several of those sentences really struck home right now. thanks for reminding me to stick it through. it's hard to be invisible.
! Super Cheers! Awesome post. Just found your site and am now a dedicated reader.
Once again, another serious Wednesday post that spoke directly to my heart. Thanks again Jon. You nailed exactly where I'm at in life right now
Wow! I dont know what to say. This is Wednesday's post, isnt it?
This is really close to what I am wading through at the present. I wouldnt use the terms visible or invisible, pertaining to myself, because most of the time the things that make my heart fly are very invisible anyway. But, because the monotony at times and the unclear purpose for me not being able to be in that place all the time, I would say that that is His invisible hand. Still working out His purpose even when we cant see it.
Thank you for this post, it does give me a little hope. It is easy to start doubting and getting negative.
Have a great Friday!
Lindsey
I feel like I'm going through an invisible time right now, but I didn't know how to put it in words. Thanks for doing it for me! This blog was very needed right now!
SPOT ON! I've had my sling in my hand for over a year looking to whack that giant. I'll go pick up my shepherd's crook instead. Absolutely true, my friend.
I work with adults, from 18 to 100, who are on welfare and trying to get off. What I find, almost universally, is that, regardless of their previous education or experience, they not only WANT, but EXPECT to get a mid-level job that pays double the minimum wage….at least. This was an awesome analogy for not just talking about where your Christian life is going, but other circumstances. I just had a particularly frustrating conversation with a woman who didn't want to even apply for a dispatching job, because she felt it would be a "step-down". Really? Having a job would be a step down from having no job? Shepherd David vs. Goliath David. Excellent!
Wow. This is exactly what I've been struggling with. I used to be a freelance writer and I'd get recognized by people all over my town. Now, I'm just a mom and wife. I told my husband two nights ago that I just want to be famous, to be recognized by someone other than the ones I'm taking care of.
Then, ouch, I read this and think that probably God has me right here for a greater reason.
Thanks, this is a great post. “This, this is it! This is what I was created to do. I am alive in this. This is me!”, I almost cried when I read that (tried not to as I'm at work). That is our heart's cry when we find that one thing, and we forget to wait. Thanks for your raw honesty.
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Wow thank you, you put into words things I have been struggling with. Just wow.
Thank you for this post. I truly believe it was an answer to my prayer this morning. I've been going through a long time of invisibility, with unfulfilled dreams, and it's incredibly frustrating. Thank you for your words of encouragement. I don't think you're invisible at all – you have reached out to many people through your blog. Maybe it's not "glamourous" or "Goliath" in the way you imagined, but it's still having an impact on real people. Keep doing what you're doing!
And to anyone who feels that their daily drudgery is not important – I truly believe that God has placed us where we are for a specific reason. I've started praying for my co-workers and various situations at work, and the answers to prayer have been inspiring. I'm by no means an outgoing person, or an evangelist, or a preacher, but at work everyone seems to know that I'm a Christian (I don't preach from the mountain-tops, but if they ask, I tell them). Several co-workers (non-Christians and non-"churchy" people) have come up to me and asked for prayer for different personal situations, and it's amazing to see the answers to prayer. My daily job is not glamourous or exciting, but it's the relationships that keep me going.
I really enjoyed your post!!
Please, let me traslate it in my youth blog from Argentina.
I can so relate to this. I have sensed God leading me to do a ministry that has nothing to do with the "day job" I'm in, and during the month of December, I had two unexpected opportunities come up in which I was able to do that ministry…and then go back to work the next day. I have felt that same sense of letdown that you described here. Thanks for the reminder of the importance of the seasons of invisibilty. Good stuff!
Amen bro! Thanks for this – very encouraging. I hope and trust that you deepen in the knowledge and love of the Lord in this "invisible" time, and that you continue to do this throughout your life. I think some, or perhaps most, of the real Saints are people upon whom the spotlight of fame and recognition never shone, but who quietly, faithfully and servant-heartedly plugged away, loving the Lord and the people around them, and bringing the Kingdom in. Those are the people who will be the real heroes in heaven, the ones Jesus noticed all the time, but we didn't!
Just what I needed! I've been very down because i just got rejected from the major I wanted in college- piano performance- which is what I thought i'd be doing for the rest of my life. Apparently I still have a few bears to wrestle and some more sheep to herd! thanks for the encouragement.
I don't know if I'm too late posting on this, or not. But here goes. This post meant so much to me that I actually printed it out and am now carrying it around with me. I asked my husband to read it and he began to laugh. I spent the entire weekend wallowing in self-pity, saying, "I thought this is what God wanted me to do. Why isn't this happening like I thought it would. I just feel so invisible." Thank you so much for writing what you did.
I feel like that at work 95% of the time. I work with kids all day long for 50+ hrs per week and almost all I get out of it is a small paycheck and stress from co-workers that I just don't get along with, for whatever reason.
But it's the 5% that keeps me here and keeps me going. Like when the teacher whose class attended one of my programs today thanked me for giving a role to all of the girls in a family of quads and how impressed she was that I got her kid having the most trouble with speech out of his shell and starring in the lead role.
If it wasn't for that 5% I think I'd quit. But that little bit of my day helps me feel like maybe, just maybe I actually am making a difference (I'll be it a small one) in the world and community I call home.
J.D. Salinger writes in Franny and Zooey: "I wish I had the courage to be a nobody."
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thank you.