Looking for Goliath.
Jan 6th by JonIf you change clothes in a handicapped bathroom stall at work, never start with your pants.
For some reason, people in other stalls freak out if you strip your pants completely off in a bathroom. I find it’s best to start with your shirt or sweater. Focus on your torso until the bathroom is empty and then change out of your jeans.
These are the valuable lessons that people like Max Lucado refuse to share, but not me. I’ll tell you everything, because right now, everything is weird.
I learned the bathroom lesson after a quick trip to Chicago. I had spoken to a bunch of people as the last speaker at the Cultivate Conference. Then I got up at 4AM the next morning and caught a flight to Atlanta. I rode the train right to work, grabbed a clean pair of khakis out of my car, which I had left behind, and changed back into work mode.
Less than 12 hours later, it was like the whole Chicago thing hadn’t happened. The 150 folks, the speech, the Q&A session, that was fiction now. Fact was me sitting in an IT meeting looking at an excel spreadsheet.
Has that ever happened to you? You had a quick brush with an extraordinary life. You got to do something you loved doing. It was a mission trip you went on. You worked with some kids and remembered how much you love teaching and how little you like being an accountant. Or you painted or played music or did a million other things that sent a little shockwave through your heart.
“This, this is it! This is what I was created to do. I am alive in this. This is me!”
And then you went back to a day job. You went back to the real world. And that other thing, the music, the ministry, the whatever, faded back into the recesses of your imagination.
Those moments are not fun. Those moments can be incredibly frustrating. I will not try to soften the edges of those moments with pithy words. But I will say, I think I know why I keep having those moments.
My disappointment of trying to live an extraordinary life in the middle of an ordinary day stems from one simple fact:
I don’t want the gift of invisibility.
What’s that? That’s the season of life God usually grants before things get loud. Call it training, call it refinement, call it whatever you want, but it’s usually a time when regardless of your best efforts, things do not seem to go your way.
We hate those periods. We hate them because we are constantly searching for “Goliath moments.” We want the big, bold dramatic moments when the spotlight shines bright and we do something great. (A recent survey showed that something like 80% of the millennial generation felt like they’d be famous when they grew up.) No one wants the shepherd part of David’s life. The idea of being alone, in a field, for years with a bunch of sheep doesn’t inspire anyone. You can’t put that on a poster. You can’t fire up a crowd with tales from the quiet years of David’s life. But the truth is, you don’t get Goliath David without Shepherd David. Before he fought a giant, he wrestled bears. Before he became a king, he learned to be alone. Before he was great, he was invisible.
Maybe you are too right now. Maybe that thing you’re trying to start is not taking off. You’ve got a New Year’s resolution that you’re sticking to because this is going to be the year where you step out on an adventure and do something big for the Lord. But it already feels a little small. And that feels frustrating and really isolating, but you’re not alone in that.
Look at the Bible. Moses? 40 years of invisibility before the burning bush. Joseph? Years in prison before he became Pharaoh’s right hand man. Jesus? 30 years of invisibility followed by 40 days in the desert before his ministry became public. Over and over again we see the gift of invisibility in the Bible.
I’m in the same place you are right now. Yes, the book comes out this spring and that is a dream of visibility come true, but speaking wise, I’ve been pretty invisible. I honestly thought that after I spoke at Cross Point last July, I’d have the opportunity to speak at more churches on Sunday mornings. I thought, and this is a little embarrassing, that after I posted video of me speaking I’d have more chances to do that. You know how many times I’ve spoken at churches on a Sunday morning since July? Zero. Know how many times I’ve done that in almost two years of doing this site? One.
Then on Monday, I got rejected from the leadership program at work. Weeks after I helped lead thousands of people from around the world to build two kindergartens in Vietnam, I got told I wasn’t a leader. For the second year running. That’s not fun. It’s not fun wrestling with invisibility 40 hours a week in a cubicle where Stuff Christians Like doesn’t matter a lick. But I am convinced God gives us the gift of invisibility. I am convinced his timing is best. I am convinced he’s got me placed here because the people I work with need to know his love and that this important. I am convinced he has bears he wants us to face before we face Goliath.
That thing you’re trying to do, whether that’s start a ministry, follow your dreams or pour into your kids as much love and truth as possible, that thing is important. Don’t worry about your Goliath moment, it will come. And when it does, you’ll be glad you wrestled some bears first.
Comments
Thanks for this. It's so encouraging right now!
OH MY LANTA! I just got back from the PASSION 2010 conference last night, and while I was there, God gave me HUGE confirmation about going to do missions in Uganda. But today I was sitting around my room, looking at my class and work schedule and feeling really down- a little bit like, "What the heck am I doing here?!"… and then I read this post. Wow. Thank you, Jon. Thank you for being submitted to the Lord and for letting the Holy Spirit give you the words that so many of us (especially a frustrated college student in Charlotte, NC) need to hear.
woah. thank you so much for that.
Ha!
Seems like you're not alone. I'm feeling the same way and it's such a big, oppressive feeling. I find knowing so many others are out there being invisible only mildly comforting. Thanks for sharing your feelings openly and honestly though. I have to get back to my sheep…
This is a wonderful post. Thank you.
Oh and…shouldn't it be a David moment? I mean, Goliath ended up taking a dirt nap!
I seriously needed this today, seriously. Thank you.
Don't get discouraged. When I got out of college, I couldn't find a teaching job to save my life. And it was depressing because I though it would be so easy. I won't lie, it was.not.fun. So I worked retail for a little bit. It was in that time that God really spoke to me and totally changed the direction of my life. It took about a year and half, but I took a risk and applied for a small ministry job. I started out small but now God is allowing me to do things I never thought He could accomplish. God does have big plans for all of us. It may not make us famous (who really cares about that anyway) but I always like to dream big and submit them to God. And He'll work it out.
What if you think bears are scarier than Goliath?
PS: I hope you don't mind, but I often think of this blog as my church. Which kinda means you're talking at my church almost every day of every week. Seriously, you should take a break sometime, you're headed for Christian-flavoured burnout!
But yes, you are invisible. Maybe you should ask Wes to cartoonify you with different expressions. You could paste in the appropriate cartoon to each post.
There'd be the "Serious Wednesday" look: thoughtful, pensive, thumb and index finger over your mouth and one eyebrow lifted …oh wait, monobrow. Can you raise your monobrow in a questioning way? Anyways, I'm sure it could be done.
Then there'd be the: "You've seen me be crazy before, but you're gonna FALL OVER when you read this!" look: I'm imagining you with the expression of an over-excited Labrador (unless that isn't your favourite dog, in which case, insert your favourite dog in there).
I'm sure there are some other looks you could do. Whatdua think?
Yeah yeah, I know, I kinda missed the point of the post. I do that all the time in church.
Testing.
Awesome post! Thank you for sharing and your honesty. You are right, most of life is not going to be a Goliath moment and it is important to remind ourselves and others of that fact often.
Thanks Jon. The gift of invisibility is also a chance to practice your dream, get it down pat. Organize and get the facts straight before you bust it out in front of a crowd. Thanks again.
YAY!
Thanks for being a leader to the rest of us invisibles!
Very good post…
After years of volunteering, the church was finally able to put me on paid staff full time, doing what I had been doing for free and loving it. But, 4 years later, the church had shrunk and bills had risen, and there was just no longer any money to cover my pay. The rest of the staff also took some very serious cuts.
So, now I work a desk job, and squeeze in as much as I can at the church.
At many times through the whole process I've felt like a complete failure. It's a sucky place to be.
Thanks Jon for letting me see I'm not alone…
That Goliath Moment. There is the other side of this also. You could have had many of those moments and now where are they? We were missionaries in England, started a church that is grew, trained up the leadership over 11 years and turned the church over to them. We felt the call to come home and do it again.
While in England I was a conference speaker, had a radio ministry and was being invited constantly to preach at special events churches were having in our area.
Now we are home, starting another church and it has been a real struggle. All those Goliath moments that were so common are now rare. I believe is it just a season that God is using in my life. I feel like I'm molting like you spoke of in another post. It can be frustrating but I know that God always moves in perfect timing. That God is working more of the shepherd David into me before he brings back the Goliath David.
I have felt the same way for years, wanting to impact God's kingdom in a big way (ie. Goliath) but often being placed in uninspiring situations. but then i think, i might not want to rush God on this one. if he's working to strengthen my character then strengthen on. i don't want to end up in a Goliath situation and find my character lacking. or maybe he's working to strengthen my foundation of truth and security in him. i don't want to be in a Goliath situation and find myself doubting God and questioning his truth. like you said, i want to be well versed in fighting bears before God offers me Goliath.
Dude, super insightful and transparent.
Thank you for this timely post. Today was the first day back at my office job after Christmas, and it was filled with mundane tasks like filing and scanning. Meanwhile the thing that I am most passionate about, my true calling in life, is under threat due to lack of financing. I was feeling very sorry for myself when my husband sent me the link to your post. I've been mulling over your wise words all day. I have to have faith that God led me to this job and it is where I am meant to be for this season of my life. Who knows what valuable lessons he has in store for me to learn here? Thank you for prompting a change in my perspective, it was much needed today.
Wanting the recognition is difficult. It's one of those things that can be difficult to talk about in church. Yes, pastor's joke about it all the time.. wanting fame, wanting to be seen… but it's difficult to talk about it in a serious way, because everyone just assumes it's not that big a deal, that everyone wants to be famous.
At least that how I've felt at times. It can even get worse when you feel like you've earned the right to be recognized… like, don't you know who I am and what I've done… here let me tell you.
I appreciate your authenticity to share this. It's helped me examine my own thoughts and motives. which I know needs to be done.
-Marshall Jones Jr.
I just wrote a blog about something similar to this on January 1st, at http://www.danbyl.com this is such a big thing for many of us waiting for our moment in the sun. I know I am trying to find mine, trying to work at creating new opportunities. I am currently working on something that I think will help build the projects I am working on. It seems that we put in so much work in the hope that we get something back, sometimes it flops sometimes it takes off but the key is that you learn all you can, and that we wait for Gods timing instead of rushing ahead.
I, too, am in one of those inbetween places that seem so "invisible." trust me, Jon. You are NEVER invisible. There are people watching (and listening
at ALL times. You have no idea how you will influence someone even during seemingly mundane tasks that lack any sense of personal achievement. Every moment is God's moment. If we can ever share in the glory at all we are blessed 
.
That's a great article. Great thoughts at the start of the new year. Really encouraging for a kid that's trying to find the will of God in his life.. Thank you so much! May God Bless You!
absolutely what I needed to hear, especially after my whinefest to God yesterday. Thanks!
I really needed this today. Thanks for the encouragement.
For five years I sent marketing emails, and boxed manuals and shipped them. Not thrilling. Yet I wouldn't be who I am today without those days of learning to be someone before I do anything.
Thanks so much for this poist. I feel I have been here in this spot for a while now and sometimes lose sight that God knows where I am and He knows where I will be going. I just lose that trust sometimes and wonder why I am here. I am in a job that is alright, but I really want to be home with my son as he is 1 year old and growing so quickly. We just can't swing it financially right now for me to stay at home, so I just get frustrated sometimes. For now I will just trust in the invisibility and that it is where God has me. This post totally encouraged me today.
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Wow. I totally needed to hear that. Thank you so much.
GREAT post, Jon. Dynamite.
1. I love you. [Note: like agape, not eros]
2. Why am I crying? [Note: like tears of relating, not sadness]
3. Come speak in East Los Angeles. [Note: like totally/completely/full on serious, not a joke]
Just remember, people in the ghetto need Jesus too.
Day job: Public relations director for my church in LA (http://www.ccmtb.com). I bring in guest speakers.
Side job: Saving the world from bad theology, boring bible studies, and bad body odor.
Thanks man… Much needed.
I am becoming a SCL junkie…. We dont really have a church home right now. So for now I am getting my "God Moments" from you…. Keep up the great work!
Mandi
This is so, so helpful. And so, so humbling. Thanks for sharing this part of yourself.
Awesome image Billy. Hope you don't mind that it went into my idea stack for future use
That's a great way to look at it!
All day today I was getting grumpier and grumpier because I was feeling less and less appreciated and spotlighted, and then I came home and there was this post. This reminded me that faithfulness in daily tasks is never ever invisible to God (and may even carry more weight than faithfulness in the moments of ecstatic prominence). And I remembered that it was when Elijah came down from a literal mountaintop experience and was feeling alone and unappreciated and let-down that God came by in a quiet whisper instead of a whirlwind or an earthquake or a fire and reminded him that God is not just about the flashy things.
Thank you.
This post takes me back to middle school, but in a good way. At the time just about everyone participated in the theater program, as that was pretty much the one and only way of fulfilling an arts requirement at the school I attended. When it came time to decide who would do what, everyone wanted to be in the plays and on stage, everyone that is except me. I begged the teacher to let me do something backstage, and he ended up making me the backstage manager, and I adored it. So I don't really get how everyone actually wants the big Goliath moment, and in ministry I'll do anything that keeps me off the stage except for maybe the curtain call. Yet YHWH seems to thrust me onto the stage anyway.
Thank you so much for this post, it was a needed blessing today.
Thank you for sharing this today. I think right now I’m the most invisible in the world.
That's a great post, Jon. Thanks.
By the way.. JON!!!!!! It’s off the topic, but… How’s the categorizing going?
and sometimes, Goliath hits back and even connects, and when that happens, Invisibility is a surprisingly welcome gift as it wraps around your healing-time and draws you, slowly, to your feet…
I was reminded how David followed his Goliath moment with some time in the cave of Adullum.
Great post!
Dave
Amazing. Extremely encouraging. Thank you!
Awesome! Thank you for another great post!
Your "invisible" days are numbered, my friend. We expect great things from you and you will not disappoint us.
Haha, you're right. Max Lucado never seems to share the stuff that I really need to know about. Thank you for filling that void, Jon.
I'm with you too. I don't desire to be visible, necessarily, but I want to be useful. Right now I feel that everything about me is stagnating, and I really don't see why God has me here in this position. While I feel a little better that other people are going through this too, the thought that it might last another 29 years is very depressing. I keep wondering if I'm doing something wrong or I missed something and I should be somewhere else.
One that I keep coming back to is "It will all be all right in the end. If it's not all right, it's not the end."
This is absolutely what I needed to hear, read and be reminded of today. Thanks for letting God work through you.