Saying “you’re called to that.”
Jan 21st by JonA friend of the family adopted a baby a few years ago. He and his wife are Caucasian and the baby is African American, so occasionally they get asked interesting questions. I believe his favorite one to answer is, “What country did you adopt from?” He loves responding to this one because his answer is, “The country of Mississippi.”
There are a tremendous amount of orphans in the US and this is simply his slightly amusing away of drawing attention to the kids across the street that need to be adopted too. I was talking about adoption a few weeks ago with a different friend at dinner. I mentioned that someone I knew had adopted a special needs child from Europe. They purposely decided to adopt an older special needs child and give them a new home and a new family.
As soon as I started that story, my friend blurted out something Christians the world over say when faced with tremendous love like this, “You’re called to that.” Then he breathed a tremendous sigh of relief and went back to eating.
He was comforted by that sentence in part because of what it really means. When you hear about another Christian going off on some crazy, difficult mission for God, you get a small ping of guilt. We’re a very guilty people some times and in this particular case that guilt stems from thinking that you should also be adopting special needs kids. What are you doing right now in your life that is holy or big or adventurous? Nothing? Better throw out that get out of jail free card, “You’re called to that.”
I think that sentence is funny because it’s not complete. When we say that, what we’re really saying is, “You’re called to that and I was not. I would totally do that. I would live in Guam with clothes woven of bamboo shoot and nurse a baby llama named “Punbar” back to health with love and applesauce if that’s what God wanted me to do, but so far, gosh darn it, he just hasn’t given me that call. I’m ready though. I am ready. I’ll get you a mission trip machete if I do end up going. You’re called to that.”
Am I wrong? Have you ever heard someone say something like this? Have you ever said it?
Comments
Wrestled with this for years. Desperately wanted to be a missionary to the 3rd poorest country in Africa—God led us to a suburb in Northern Virginia. And it’s been so frustrating, particularly feeling like I have to justify being there by telling you I wanted to be a missionary to Africa.
I do think obedience is absolutely essential. “If you love me, you will obey my commandments.” The trick is figuring out which of the commandments are universal for all Christians and which are local to me.
Another question that came to mind was this: Does the Bible have accounts of people moving to “do something for God” where it was, in fact, disobedience?
Every time you comment, I think Chris Tomlin has jumped on the blog for a second. You musht hear that non stop.
My two favorite related stories:
1. I was in Phoenix for National Youth Worker's Convention, and I took this guy who was trying to get to NorCal to the bus station, so I missed maybe the first hour of the evening session. As I walked back solo into the Convention Center, I ran into Chris Tomlin and one of his crew walking out. No one else was around. So I walked up to him, showed him my nametag, and told him I was tired of being asked if he was my dad—i.e. Chris Tomlin(son). He laughed and apologized for it. I forgave him, because that’s what Christians do.
2. I wrote a few bloggers last month to ask if they would review a book I had coming out. This one blogger wrote back and said, “I’d love to. It’ll be great.” Yada yada. And then he finished with “I heard you started a church with Louie Giglio—how’s that going?” Answers descended on me like those glowing jellyfish in Avatar, many of them sarcastic, one of which was clever, none of which were kind. So I just gently said he had the wrong guy, but I’d love the review anyway.
Perhaps one day, people will run into Chris Tomlin and say, "Oh, I thought you were that author…nevermind." Or maybe not.
A friend of mine wants me to work with kids in church in a leadership position. I KNOW that I am NOT called to be a childrens church leader, yet she never misses an opportunity to tell me that I AM called to it even though I have no desire and God has never put that on my heart to do. Volunteer once a month, yes. LEAD a class everytime, no. Instead of telling her that she is called to that I tell her that I am not called to that. It's GREAT when people are called to that, but how do we really know if someone is called to the thing they are doing? Truly? What I do know, is what I am called to do or not, and I would hope that if I am later called to something I would be faithful in following through. I try to be now, but I have no problem flat out stating that I do not feel called to something. And I certainly don't know that my friend who is adopting a special needs kid from Florida is called for that either, but I do know that if God wills it in her life or mine, it's gonna happen one way or another. Who is to say what anyone is called to do really? Only God knows…..
That being said…… I don't shirk a responsibility to lend helping hands either. We are called to help and support eachother, so if we are not called to lead, that doesn't mean we aren't called to help. EVERYONE can help in some capacity, whether it is their "gift" or not. And maybe by being open to helping God will stir a calling in you that you didn't know.
It's true that some people say "you're called to do that" because they feel guilty about not doing whatever it is that has been done – I know I'm guilty of that – but the truth is that some people are called to do some things, and other people are called to do other things. If it's true that you aren't called to whatever the topic is, then there's no need to feel guilty. "You're called to do that and I'm not" can be simply a fact.
My church mascot is a llama. I'm serious. It's great!
I completely get your point. I hadn't thought of it that way before, but yes, the majority of us don't keep an ear cocked for God to call us to move into the slums of Africa, or Chigaco, and minister, yet we greatly admire those who do.
One time, no kidding, a friend of mine asked her sister why she never went on a mission trip with her husband, a pastor. Her answer: "I like my own bed." (Now there's honesty for you!)
I think the problem with the use of this phrase is when it is used as an excuse to not do anything except for what we want to do. It is often used to get out of doing uncomfortable or hard things.
I think it has just enough truth to be deadly. Because we ARE called by God to various places and times, to do certain things to build His Kingdom. But that call is not always blatantly obvious, beyond what the Scriptures call all of Christ's followers to do. So the call to "care for the poor and widow" looks vastly different for the suburban Christian than it does for the Christian living in Uganda. But as Ephesians 2:10 says, "We are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."
So yes, we all, as members of the body of Christ have "a call" from God, multiple calls even. And they will not always look like the person's next to us, because as a body, we have different gifts and functions. Not all of us are going to be doing prison ministry or going to impoverished countries, because white, middle-class suburban Americans need Jesus just as much. So some of us will be called there instead.
But may we never use God's "calling" as an excuse to not do things that we should and could be doing, but sincerely seeking His call on our lives, that we may love Him and our neighbors well.
I couldn't have said it better myself. No, really
Tough balance needed here, I think
Not being called is never meant to let us off the hook any more than not being an evangelist gives us license not to be a witness (on the flipside…being "called" shouldn't free us from accountability, another Christian trend, see all of the fallen pastors/leaders)…if scripture has said for us to do something, we ought to do it, that is call enough
However
Scripture is full of "calls to ministry"
Moses, Jeremiah (like fire shut up in my bones), David, etc.
lots of experience seems to support this…the people I've known who have argued there isn't a call needed to be a missionary or pastor (mostly because they haven't felt called) have typically been the people who never ended up going or at least didn't stay very long
you don't stay in ministry (and you don't stay passionate about service) unless compelled by God, it's too hard otherwise
If you want to talk about 'being called' check out my blog, Mike Hyatt's blog or http://www.thedoorpost.com/hope/The Butterfly Circus/
This piece of film talks more about Christ's love and its application to our unique gifts than anything I think I've ever seen or read. Truly inspiring.
We serve an amazing and awesome God whose so much bigger than our petty human 'issues'.
No offense, but it's sad that there is enough ammo to write this book. But what I seen is true. Hopefully this will be an aid to people who call themselves Christians to shut up and put up. Don't talk about doing it…DO IT!
Yeah, lately I've been saying stuff like, "I'm called to write about God." But even more recently I've been wondering if that's true. Like maybe I'm not hearing the right voice. God's voice. Who knows.
Love the comment above. I've actually used the phrase, when declining a request to teach Sunday School, "I'm sorry, teaching young children really isn't my gift." But seriously…I don't even really like kids that much (except my own of course), so I think it's probably a good thing I'm not teaching Sunday School!
so were you called to write this…. I heard this on the radio and it brought back tragic memories, I am not sure if you hit this difficult topic.
The ultimate Christian rejection: God is calling me to be single now
Ha then a week later they are dating some huy in your Cultural Legacies class or you see them making out with some guy in the club… I knew this was not just me when I heard it rocked on K love this morning,.
I didn't WANT to be called to a vocational ministry position. I didn't listen. God didn't send that archangel with the sword of unobtanium — He sent a herniated disk. While I was flat on my back, unable to stomach soaps, had seen enough other TV to make me sick, I turned to really studying scripture. Lo and behold, He told me He wanted me to serve Him as a career.
Don'tcha know, I immediately jumped on that!
Sure did! I said, "Okay, Lord, but You know, at my present job, I'm making X amount of money at my current job." How quiet He can be. My next attempt was rather ambiguous, "Okay, Lord, but You know I need at least enough to pay for the mortgage payment and groceries." I figured He could calculate the amount.
It wasn't until I gave in and just said, "Okay, Lord" did things get "fixed" — the job was created, I had successful back surgery and I haven't looked back once.
Your spiritual gift is your calling. If your gift is giving, then your are called to give. If your gift is exhortation, then you are called to exhort others. If your gift is teaching, then you are called to teach. You are NOT called to teach in Africa, or in India or in Peru, or anywhere else. The geographical setting is not part of your calling. The gift itself is your calling.
We used this term a lot in our younger years. Now as 50-somethings and retired, when my husband and I discuss opportunities of service, we stay honest by saying, 'We WANT to do this," "we aren't comfortable with …", or "no way!" But no matter what WE say, we pray
some great disussion here!. Thanks!
Last year we adopted a baby girl with special needs who is a different race than us. Favorite wierd question: Do you tan that baby? We discussed this very issue. We certainly felt led by God onto the adoption path. We felt God's presence in the whole process and His leading, but bottom line is the Bible says to care for orphans. That's really leading enough, no special calling needed.
Holy cow, I can't believe someone asked you that.
Were they really serious when they asked you that? Because if they were… Wow, I don't feel too bad now that I think of some really silly questions I've been known to ask in my lifetime…
I've actually heard the more hip version, "I'm not feeling it" used. ie: When asked to help with Sunday school, they would say "You know I want to help out, but "I'm not feeling it".
I get "be careful what you wish for, it might come true" and "bless your heart" all the time – also both get out of jail free cards in christian-ese… they both pretty much mean… are you crazy or just stupid? what on earth would possess you to do that? surely the Lord would not put that on you, or perhaps he would and I'm praying He won't put it on me. — I took in an incredibly difficult child from an incredible loopy family for a while while his mother was sick.. not only did my friends not get why I put up with the endless insanity from said group of people, neither did my family. I heard these 2 phrases continually during the roller coaster ride of interacting in such an intimate way with this group of people… I think they were all afraid if I said I couldn't take it anymore, they might get "called" to take him in LOLOLOLOL
Speaking from personal experience, there are times and situations when God has given me a vision (a "calling") for a particular ministry or direction my life should take… And there are times when He seems silent. Yes God calls all to general ministry, but He can also direct us in our daily lives in very specific ways. Some people are certainly called specifically to Guam as missionaries. However, I would say that most people probably are not simply because if everyone was called to Guam, who would be left for the rest of the world?
In those times when I get a glimpse of my role in God's plan nothing is more satisfying than obeying. In the times of silence, nothing is more growing than stepping out in faith, knowing that my actions (or sometimes failure) will be used by God. I believe that when God is silent, that is the time for action coupled with prayer and a listening heart. Sometimes it is only in movement that we can know if our life is headed in the right direction.
Sometimes saying "You are called to x" is used as a cop-out or as "blackmail", but there are some who hear God's voice clear enough to legitimately say it. If those few people in my life told me I was being called to something I would take their words seriously and decide through prayer and consultation with other mature Christians if the calling is genuine.
" In the times of silence, nothing is more growing than stepping out in faith, knowing that my actions (or sometimes failure) will be used by God. I believe that when God is silent, that is the time for action coupled with prayer and a listening heart. Sometimes it is only in movement that we can know if our life is headed in the right direction. "
I like this. Take a leap of faith off the cliff edge. God will either catch you or teach you how to fly. Who knows, He might even be the rock on which you crash and burn
Forgive me for smiling but this is so fitting to my own experience. I have 11 kids, none of them biologically mine; fostered a dozen more and I've had the, you're called to that… with the "thus saith…. " added. I can assure I don't possess any special skill. I'm doing this, in part, because the people that should have done it abdicated their responsibility. I was given a choice I could help those in front of me or I could turn my back and walk away. It was easy at first and has become much harder over time. Did I make the right decision? Time will tell.
I have learned this, God does not honor false humility or those who are self appointed. The biblical principal is that God was the initiator and the called responded in faith. I think He is still operating by that principle. Still there are a hundred other lesser "callings" or ideas that cause consternation of soul as we individually pursue God's purpose for our life.
I’ve never felt like that. Personally, I feel upset to not hear more people adopting from the US just as much, if not more, than they do from foreign countries. American children need healthy homes too. I commend your friend for spreading that awareness. I don’t think I’ve heard the “You’re called to that.” get out of jail free card though.
Phrases I have *sworn* I will never use again (unless joking):
Called
God told me
I heard God say
spiritual gifts
I've been in ministry too long (read: jaded) that the special vocabulary drives me banonkers. Staff members or lay people will leave to go to another church (for both unselfish and selfish reasons) all the while using the phrase "called to __."
People will say God told them to plant a church (start a ministry, start a business, etc). What happens when it fails? Who was wrong? God?
Does God speak to people? Yes. Are people gifted in certain ways? Yes. But for whatever reason Christians can't call a spade a spade and end up pulling out the deck of God Cards instead.
For the record, I don't think people are called to adopt. I think it's one of many good life decisions — it just happens to make sense for some people more than others. As an adoptive parent, I could write a paragraph or twelve about that, but I'll refrain.
Also meant to say– So many of the things that people say they are *not* called to do are the hard things in life. The things that require a high level of commitment and sacrifice.
I call that the "silver bullet" of M work. Or rather the reverse is: "I'm _not_ called to that." What can you say at that point? I'm your boss and I say you are?
Love this post! It is so true.
In an effort to live it out, that is a life like Christ, we sold everything and moved to the 3rd world to work with a non-profit corporation. I can't the number of times we heard,
"I'm glad you were called to that because I just couldn't leave my house/job/car/family….."
We loved our work in Africa and and were richly bless by our living God. We spoke in many churches. At the end of one mission presentation a member of the church said, "when I get old I'm going going to become a missionary and work over seas". I wanted to say but didn't, '"when you are old and worn out God no long wants you".
everybody has said that. i think all of us are called to do things that we are waiting to hear from God, yet all the stuff we're waiting to hear He has already said
Favorite: In college I told a friend that I was rooming with my non-christian friend the next semester so that I could invest in her life. Her response? " So she's not a believer? Yeah, I'm just not called to that"
Ha ha! When I went to a Lutheran high school, teachers would always say that they "felt the call" when they left to go teach in places like California and such:)
This is pretty standard in LCMS. If you get a job offer, it is considered a "Call", and you have to publish it so that everyone can pray about it. However, since you won't get such a "call" without having applied for the job, it kind of seems strange to see it presented as though God appeared in a burning bush and said "You should go teach at school X instead of school Y". My DD's principal has gotten "calls" the last two years, and has prayerfully rejected them-but not until after the board has increased his salary.
My brother says this all the time, but I believe he really was called to live his life in music. He just is so opinionated and arrogant that he tends to offend people when really he's just passionate. I'm not making an excuse for him, he can be a total jerk. But sometimes when people say they are called to do something, its not so bad, because they really are.
[...] the other day, I read a post by Jon Acuff over at Stuff Christians Like, that hit me to my core. It might not be in God’s plan for us to ever have adopted children, [...]
People tell us that all the time. I guess that's what happens when you move to the "hood' in Atlanta – people think you might be slightly crazy . . .