“Don’t stretch those out.”
Once again I have to begin a post with a statement from my wife. In this statement she was saying I have a big head. Not ego wise, just physically. I have a large melon.
I didn’t realize this, or that I have a hammer toe, until I got married and my wife pointed both things out. (I always just thought my big toe liked to spoon with the toe next to it.) Sure, hats never seemed to fit that well and when Mike Myers said, “Look at that boy’s head, it’s like an orange on a toothpick,” in the movie “So I married an axe murderer” I took it a little personally. But I never knew my head was larger than average until my wife stopped letting me borrow her sunglasses on road trips.
Turns out the width of my cranium stretched out the arms of her sunglasses, rendering them useless for her. So that night when I asked to try on her new pair of reading glasses, she wisely said, “Don’t stretch those out.” Fair enough.
As a Christian, I’m used to conversations that center around our head. In fact, every good Christian knows that one of our favorite things to say is actually about the head. I’m of course talking about the ubiquitous statement,
“The hardest 12 inches to travel are from the head to the heart.”
You might say it differently. You might have instead heard, “I believed it in my head but not in my heart.” Or perhaps, “I had the Sunday School answers, I had the head knowledge, but not the heart knowledge.”
But it’s a new year. This is 2010 we’re talking about. That phrase is so 2000 and late and if you’ve seen my Christmas card I believe you know I am so 3000 and 8. Here are three possible ways we can freshen up the old “head to heart” statement.
1. Take God from your “head to your hands.”
If that sentence isn’t destined for a social justice t-shirt I don’t know what is. At once it both tweaks the old sentence and creates a powerful, “Get off your butt” motivator.
2. Take God from your “head to your house.”
Is this in reference to hosting a pot luck supper at your house complete with crock pots? Is this in reference to hosting a blogger at your house that may be visiting from Atlanta? Who’s to say, but one thing is for certain, let a little love in your house.
3. Take God from your “head to your (h)wallet.”
I really wanted all of them to work on the whole alliteration tip so this h has to be silent. Like when basketball legend Akeem Olajuwon became Hakeem Olajuwon. But this one clearly is the perfect phrase for a fundraising event. It’s the kind of sentence that people who tell you, “Let me know if there’s anyway I can help you” but secretly just want to pray and not actually give you money, are going to hate. I love it.
Those are my three. (And I really struggled with the temptation to have one say, “Take it from your head to your hips” and then make a Shakira joke about how the “hips don’t lie.” But I didn’t because I’m mature.) You can have those three for free. Go on and take them. Put em on shirts or stickers or bracelets. Take some fresh tomatoes and cucumbers while you’re at it. The misses and I insist. You’re going to need it on the road you’re traveling. (Don’t know why I wrote that, it just felt right. Suddenly I was the farmer who helps Frodo in the first book from the Lord of the Rings.)
Have you ever heard some form of the “head and heart” idea?
Comments
Long sleeve V-neck. no other way that Jon will make a shirt. crew necks are overrated.
With a built-in unnecessary scarf.
Exactly!
I believe that Mother Theresa herself struggled with this. (Not kidding.)
We're not all blessed with believing and trusting hearts.
But we can all HEAR the words of God. We can all read about (or be read to) how he sacrificed his son to save us.
So even if our HEARTS doubt, we are still supposed to ACT as Christ commanded us to.
"Love your God", "Love your neighbor", etc. Love is an ACTION, not a FEELING.
We are still saved, purified, and clean in God's sight even if our stubborn, sinning, human hearts are weak. As long as we take the steps of faith, acting in faith.
The end!
It is not your heart, but your very essence that should have faith. Faith creates Strength and Hope, Hope conjures Perserverance, and when you have those, Love begins to dawn. Love is the ultimate, it can overcome any foe that brings arms against it. That makes the three survivors of the Zombie apocalypse, now occuring in a life near you.
Love is actually a state of heart that compells constant action for what it is directed towards.
OMG you're right. I'm sorry everyone!
Thanks to my kids, there's a constant medley repeating in my head that consists of::
– the Veggie Tales theme song,
– the song from Bear and the Big Blue House,
– the theme song from Dora the Explorer (at least the version my 2 year old sings because I've never actually seen Dora), and
– Europe's The Final Countdown (which has been going non-stop ever since that kindergarten thing)
The lyrics are bound to get mixed up every now and then.
It is a grave violation. I actually winced when I initially read it. Thank you, kind sir, for bringing order and justice to the world once again.
[Of course, now I've spun into a frenzy of Silly Song madness that's swirling in my head. The Water Buffalo song.. Where is My Hairbrush.. Song of the Cebu.. <sigh> Might need to start thinking of, "It's a Small World After All" just to snap out of it]
Thanks, you just hurt my thought process. Instead of those, try getting a song not intended to be stuck in you head, stuck in your head. How about that one Phineas and Ferb song, or even 'Rise and Sing' by Fee.
Are there Veggie Tales songs that aren't intended to get stuck in your head? I heard they hired scientists to invent a way to ensure that the songs would embed themselves forever in our consciousness. That's why the government had to shut them down.
Have I committed the Unforgivable Sin?
The guilt is killing me… the shame… <hand-wringing> <pacing> <tossing> <and> <turning>
How about taking God from your "head to your shoulders, knees, and toes"? How's that for taking Sunday school to the online streets?
-Marshall Jones jr.
Disneyland bound bloggers with families welcome in our home! However, be forewarned I might force you to speak at our church… By the way you should do a special valentines day pre-order special for those that missed out on the sweet Christmas deal. I want an acuff autographed Xmas card…
|:-(
Ouch! I used that head to heart statement just today while kicking off a Bible study and talking about the importance of applying what we are learning. I guess it's time to rephrase. Thanks for keeping me up to date on the right lingo. : )
If anyone still feels compelled to pull out the 'head to heart' line… don't forget to 'love on' others while they 'bless your heart'.
As a student at a Christian university… thank you, Jon, for bringing humor to any and every cliche in the book.
Yes, every Cliche, Old, New, and Future. We are way ahead of this world, we have even forfeited the word 'Eastre' and forgotten how to spell it. We now call that sacred holiday celebrating the life-restoring power of our Lord Resurrection Mass, since the other banned word refers oftentimes to spring and bunnies, much like X-mas refers to pretty scenes with no blood or pain in them.
Wow this is just what I have really been convicted of lately. Moving my faith beyond that stage of knowing it's true, to acting on that and having a relationship with God because it's true.
Thanks Jon!!
ubiquitous – I just did a little happy dance because I love that word and you used it in a sentence.
as for head to heart – you could spice it up like a traffic report by saying "there's a stall on the cerebral-cardiac connection heading south" (that alliteration was a freebee) though I've also said that I have, or someone else has, a cerebral understanding but lacks visceral conviction (I believe it takes guts as well as heart to understand the things of God and sometimes, the gut is right where he hits ya!)
Do you COME INTO MY MIND!?? I have been saying this phrase over and over and over again recently.
I'm afraid my southern-baptist roots will not allow the "head to your hips" to be put into action.
Head to house – if you're ever in Columbia, MO, Jon, you've got a air mattress with your name on it. Nothing but the best.