Wishing certain celebrities were Christian.
Jan 26th by Jon“Yeah, we lost Michael Jackson, but we got Prince!”
A friend of mine who is a Jehovah’s Witness said that to me the other day. And he’s right. Prince is now a Jehovah’s Witness. (Tell me you wouldn’t ask him to sing the chorus to “When Doves Cry” if he ever came to your front door to witness?)
And although my friend was clearly joking, on our side of things, we Christians do like to wonder about famous people following the Lord.
“Can you imagine what would happen if INSERT CELEBRITY became a Christian? That would be so huge for the kingdom of God!”
I think we say this because we believe that if Justin Timberlake became a Christian then a bajillion people that like his music would also become Christians. Right away. Probably instantly at a concert. Jessica Biel too. It’d kind of be a package deal. (And it makes sense, other than naming his first album “Justified,” Timberlake has made very few mistakes. Let’s be honest, “Justincredible” would have been a worse name. I’m just saying.)
But maybe Justin Timberlake isn’t who you think from a celebrity perspective we should recruit. Maybe you’re thinking Brad Pitt or Kanye West. Fair enough, I mean you’re wrong on both accounts, but fair enough. It seems pretty clear to me, that when it comes to hoping a celebrity becomes a Christian there’s only one person we should be focusing on ….
John Mayer.
I know, I know, he’s perfect and you wish you had thought of that. Suddenly you’re feeling kind of silly about the Brad Pitt pick. I understand. I forgive you, but let’s look at the specifics at why John Mayer is the perfect celebrity for Christianity.
1. He’s already got the tattoos.
Bottom line, Christians love tattoos. I’m almost positive that some of the sleeve of tattoos he has could be slightly edited to look Christian. And on his chest he’s got the number “77.” We add a third 7 to that and we’re looking at one powerful tattoo. Carlos Whittaker should be shaking in his sleeve length conversion of Paul as I type.
2. He’s almost done with money.
Every time we visit a really nice house, I ask if the owner is by chance a copywriter, much like myself. Thus far, the answer is a resounding “no!” But Mayer is rich. And even better, he’s almost tired of the money. Every celebrity that is rich enough, for long enough realizes money can’t buy happiness. It’s why Patriots quarterback Tom Brady wins multiple super bowls, marries a model and then says that he’s not content. It’s part of the reason celebrities start charities and care less about money the older they get. And although he’s young, John Mayer already has a watch collection worth $24 million. Yes, you read that correctly. You can’t tell me that Mayer hasn’t looked at those watches at least once and thought, “What am I doing with $24 million in watches? There has to be more to life than this.”
3. He’s funny.
“I like John Mayer the comedian, not John Mayer the musician.” More than one person has told me that and it’s true. He’s funny. Here’s something the Chicago Tribune reported recently: When a New York Magazine reporter, asked him about health care and the public option, he responded: “Have you ever heard me play guitar? I’m really (expletive) good. You know what I’m bad at? Answering questions about public health care.”
4. He gets that sometimes he looks like a jerk.
If you’re a good friend of John Mayer, when he calls you and says, “I’m going to pose on the cover of Rolling Stone frolicking in bed with my shirt off and talk a lot about masturbation, how’s that sound to you?” The correct response is, “Horrible.” And Mayer knows it. Here’s what he twittered after the article came out, “Just read my Rolling Stone cover article. I’m still not sure if I would want to hang out with me.”
5. He’s talented.
I don’t care if you hate John Mayer. It’s virtually impossible to deny that the dude is talented. He’s a ridiculous guitar player, a good songwriter and he knows Krav Maga, the Israeli fighting technique. On top of that, some of his lyrics sound a lot like the message Bible. We need his talent.
6. He’s connected to a huge slew of other celebrities.
John Mayer has been a bit of a rapscallion with the famous ladies. And it’s fun to say as a guy, “I gotta tell you, if I was young, single, rich, attractive and famous, I’d stay home and probably do long, extended quiet times.” Oh if only that was true. I however, tend to become a jerk when I find an extra $5 in my pockets I wasn’t expecting never mind wearing $24 million in watches. I digress, the point is that if John Mayer becomes a Christian so will Jennifer Anniston, Jennifer Love Hewitt, and Jessica Simpson. Yahtzee!
7. We could turn him into a worship leader in about 4 seconds.
Tell me you wouldn’t love to see John Mayer leading a chorus of “Blessed be the name.” I would love that. I would raise my hands and probably even do a little dance. You would too.
Those are my reasons for picking Mayer. Who is your celebrity pick for Christianity? Wait, what? You’re not doing that with your friends? What are you doing instead? Praying for your neighbors and witnessing to them, almost as if your neighbor matters as much to God as John Mayer? Have you heard “Your Body is a Wonderland” or “Daughters?” Come on!
Comments
I'd get celebrity writer Jon Acuff to become a Christian 'cos he's funny and he'd be really open about how he's actually a jerk….
…oh….wait….
Usually I love the comments to your blogs Jon, but today's is just disturbing. To see Christians chatting away about who's a beleiver and who isn't is so unseemly. What's even worse is that so many people mentioned have talked publically about their faith life and following Jesus.
Instead of playing who's in and who's out why not simply take people at their words and pray for them as brothers and sisters. God is doing an amazing work in Hollywood right now and those of us in flyover country are totally missing out on this.
I wouldn't be shocked to see anyone even Lady GaGa make a decision to follow Jesus right now. Things are getting that crazy. Along those lines pray for the Arquettes(David and Courtney). My buddy is working on a screenplay with them and they have some amazing talks.
I don't know much about the Arquettes, but I do know that they had Coco baptized. So they may in fact already be Christian.
Can't believe your post! Yesterday afternoon I said to my husband, "I would love to have a worship album by John Mayer. Do you think he would ever do it?" We spent the next few minutes talking about worship songs & hymns we would love to hear him sing. Coincidence?
Probably the same things that go on in most of our own minds.
Wow. ýou are so very correct. Now, instead of worrying about lusting over @johncmayer, I’m gonna use that time to pray for his conversion. Much better use of my time. Lol
See that, it's about changing lives Leslie.
Mine would have to be Pat Robertson
I vote for Ellen DeGeneres. Who doesn’t LOVE her!??
Second that! I pray for her to find Jesus every time I watch her show. She's just so great, I wanna know she's on my side of eternity.
Think that's the audience response she's going for?…
Third that! Ellen is fantastic.
I love the comparison of passion for our neighbors vs celebrities! God has called us to a Great Commission. To preach the Gospel to those He has placed in our path… Haven't personally met many celebrities. Jesus give us a hunger to see ALL souls saved! Take the fishermen, and snot nosed teen-agers, and make them the kind of people that "Turn the world upside down!"
You are so right on about Mayer. I think he's searching. I almost coughed up my Testamint when I heard him say this on his last live album:
So check it out right, I've tried every approach to living. I've tried it all. I haven't tried every thing, but I've tried every approach. Sometimes you have to try everything to get the approach the same, but whatever. I've tried it all. I've bought a buncha stuff. I went "ehh, I don't like that." I kinda came in and out of that a coupla times.
I thought I would shut myself off. I thought maybe that's cool. Maybe that's what you have to do to become a genius is you have to be mad. So if you can get mad before the word genius, then maybe you can make genius appear. Right? That doesn't work either.
And I'm in a good place. I've paced myself pretty well. I'm 30, I've seen some cool stuff. I made a lot of stuff happen for myself. I made a lot of stuff happen for myself. That's a really cool sentence when you're in your 20s, right? "I made it happen for myself." But all that means is that I've just somehow or another found a way to synthesize love. Or synthesize soothing. You can't get that, and what I'm saying is I've messed with all the approaches except for one, and it's gonna sound really corny, but that's just love. That's just love.
I've done everything in my life that I've wanted to do except just give and feel love for my living. And I don't mean like, uh, Roman candle, fireworks, Hollywood hot pink love. I mean, like, "I got your back"-love. I don't need to hear "I love ya." You guys love me. I love you. We got that down. But some of the people who would tell you they love ya were the last people to just have your back. So I'm gonna experiment with this love thing. Giving love. Feeling love. I know it's corny, but it's the last thing I've got to check out before I check out.
- "Bold As Love (Live)," from Where the Light Is, by John Mayer
Wow. Powerful stuff.
If only people would see that love is truly what Christianity is all about, instead of seeing it as some messed-up judgement society.
I like how this started out about celebrities in general but quickly – stealthily – jumped back to a Mayer post. Nice…
-Marshall Jones Jr.
My vote is Alec Baldwin, though not because I think he would bring in more people as Christians, but just to see him transform from a potty-mouthed, egotistical, possibly abusive guy to a humble man on fire for God. I don't see him doing anything by halves. Plus, his little brother would be happy AND it would most likely torque off Tina Fey.
I think you're on to something, Jeff. My vote: The President. Wait, we've already been there! Dang. Try again….
yes, they are..sadly
I used to think that it was really cool when celebrities became Christians.
That was before Baldwin and Rice.
Just curious, to which "Rice" do you refer?
/If this was a recent thing, I have been out of the USA for about the last 18 months, which is almost the same as living in a cave.
Not to mention Kirk Cameron
What is that, anyways? It seems like another sissy religion trying to find the answers and put duct tape over the cracks of a broken heart.
I gotta go with Dave Matthews. The man is arguably the most influential musician of his generation, has an even bigger ring of celebrity friends (which by the way includes John Mayer, so he'd get thrown under the salvation bus along the way), and he's well past the sick of money phase (he drives a Prius for crying out loud). He's already founded Bama Works, is a huge part of Farm Aid, and is wildly supportive of other charities. Plus his lyrics often reference God not-so-subtly, and he's a self-proclaimed agnostic (one step closer than atheist!)
I can see the appeal of Dave. I've seen him in concert a few times and can stand behind your suggestion.
continuing thoughts …By all means pray for celebrities and celebrate it when they choose to follow Jesus – they're just as in need of life in all it's fullness as kids in Hiati, houswives in Louisville and snarky ministers in Tasmania, Australia – but they're not pawns (or even more upscale pieces) in some cosmic chessgame of 'my religion is better than yours, and that makes me better than you.' Let's find our validation as human beings in the truths that; 1 we are created in the image of God; & 2 He loves us so much that he made the ultimate sacrifice to restore us to the fullness of what that means, after we stuffed it up.
Wait…if you pick Brad Pitt then you get the moment where he and Angelina realize they have to get married! That would so be TMZ worthy! And think of the numbers gained when he "and all his household believed" It would be like the church in Acts when thousands were added to the church in one day! Sorry…couldn't help it
Yeah, but which pastor would do their wedding? Probably Rick Warren, if I had to guess.
I'm going to go ahead and say Conor Oberst. No one will read this because it's so far in but if someone did read it they would say, "who the hell is Conor Oberst." and I would say, "He is a monster of folk, the best modern day poet and you need to understand who he is." Also, He is the most searchingest man I've ever encountered and I would like Him to know Jesus because He needs him.
That is all.
I could see Conor. I love his song about the money changers in the temple. Great stuff
Well, Mr. Acuff! I think more highly of you now. This snobbery is a sickness.
-I would raise my hands and probably even do a little dance.-
Jon, I immediately went to wondering how would you raise them? The pound cake? And would your dance be like the soccer mom's worship dancing? These details are crucial!
I feel like I would probably lean toward a pound cake. At the end of the day that move most appeals to me.
This post pretty much made my day. I have been a fan of John Mayer ever since I heard his song "Bigger Than My Body," and it is still one of my favorites today. You rock Jon!
The only thing that I would have against him becoming a Christian, (since I do think it would be amazing to attend any sort of worship led by him!), is that my already short list of secular artists I love to listen to would go down by one. (But for the sake of John Mayer and all of his fans, I would be willing to give that up!)
That is big of you Nat. It's about sacrifices. It really is.
Not to be a nit-picker, but as a self-proclaimed celeb gossip expert, JT and Jessica Biel have broken up. So, the package deal might not work. We could totally get Cameron Diaz to jump on the Jesus band-wagon, though. And, J. Simp is already supposed to be a Christian – remember how she saved herself for marriage the first time?
Did they break up? I keep hearing they're back together and then I keep remembering I don't care.
I WISH – on a star- that PAT ROBERTSON would become a Christian.
Why? Well, he has sway in the fundamental and elderly demographics, a daily tv show, a university, the Ice Capades, and raises a lot of money that he doesn't need, …Oh Wait… the Ice Capades went bankrupt.
The funny thing about wishing famous people were Christians is that some could be, but it just REALLY doesn't look like it.
On the other hand, this might stuff Christians Like, but not stuff I like, so I rescind my wish.
PEACE OUT
From a non Xian POV all of you Christians smugly saying who is and is not Christian, is very off-putting.
The more I read this blog (or more accurately the comments) the harder it is for me to have a favorable opinion of Christians. Just thought you should know.
Well, I think this post in particular is making fun of how some people like to make a line, and you are either a Christian or an "other" and they want everyone on the Christian side. When in reality, it's about love, and you should love everyone regardless of whether or not they claim Christianity. Not to mention, it gets really dicey when you start trying to decide who is and isn't a Christian (especially famous people, whom you don't know at all, just their publicity). But overall, people are kidding.
Of course, I'm not sure what specifically in this post is off-putting, so I apologize if I missed your point entirely and went off on some random tangent.
I always thought ABBA would make for a great Christian band since their name is already mentioned in the Bible. And Tom Brady would make a great Christian sports celebrity, he has the Christian quarterback look to him much like Tebow and McCoy.
I friend told me about this post. I was so encourage by it. I first heard Johns music (yes I refer to him as John & all my friends know who I am referring to) in 2005. After about a month of listening to Heavier Things&I was like John would make an amazing Christian. He has great insight and his songs are penetrating. Since 2005 I have been praying for his salvation. Not only because of the way he could influence others but because he is searching. I have been to 8 (soon to be 9 concerts) and have even met him once briefly. He is an amazing individual (though not without his faults like us all). I first fell in love with his guitar playing ability. But soon came to love his way with words. I can hear Why Georgia 100 times and the 101 time I get something new and fresh out of his song. Just imagine if he wrote about the Lord. Those songs would be amazing. Take In Repair for instance: Stood on the corner for awhile, To wait for the wind to blow down on me, Hope that it takes with it my old ways, And brings a brand new life upon me. Change the lyrics slightly: Stood on the corner for awhile, To wait for the Holy Spirit to blow down on me, Hope that He takes with away my old ways, And brings a brand new life upon me.
in 9th grade at a retreat i decided it was my life's goal to make john mayer a christian…so i could marry him. if you can handle the conversion part, i'm pretty positive i'd still be up for being mrs. mayer
Hilarious, as usual! My celebrity pick: Let’s get Oprah back! She is going to have a lot of free time soon. Can you imagine what having that Oprah’s Book Club seal on the covet would do for The Holy Bible would do for us?!
Oh, my good heavens, I love John Mayer. I DO wish he would become a Christian.
Don’t know it someone said this yet, but…
How about Madonna? She has the Lord’s mom’s moniker, was like a virgin, and has an international platform. She’s already following Kaballa (a sect of Judaism), so it’s just a matter of transitioning to the full gospel. Sounds like a plan.
Jon Stewart.
What’s up now?
As a pastor friend of mine said once, let’s remember God doesn’t need celebrities, they need him… but in the spirit of the post…. Kevin Bacon, apparently he has the largest sphere of influence… he’s connected to everyone!
I've gotta throw in my vote for the already-mentioned Russell Brand, if not only for the awesome testimony he'd tell around the campfire at a retreat.
Yeah… we need some REAL celebrities to be Christians. All of this Kirk Cameron stuff… and having to settle for a lesser Baldwin is just sad.
Not many female celebs were mentioned so I'll vote for the rest of the unnamed unsaved to become Christians. Especially Sandra Bullock. I mean, after playing the lead in "The Blind Side", she's already halfway there
gosh you're like obsessed with john mayer- shouldn't being christian be a spiritual decision rather than the latest trend to copy celebrities?
[...] SCL humorously gives his take on why he believes John Mayer would be the perfect celebrity for Christianity. [...]
♥ John Mayer's music. His live CD is amazing. There are too few musicians these days who do good guitar solos. I may have suggested this before, Jon, but I think you should do an SCL post about how Christian musicians like NOT doing guitar solos! What is the reason behind that? There are some freaking awesome guitarists in Christian music, and IF they do any guitar solo on their CD, they're MAYBE 20 seconds long. So sad.
Not sure if that's readable…
I love John Mayer's music. His live CD is amazing. There are too few musicians these days who do good guitar solos. I may have suggested this before, Jon, but I think you should do an SCL post about how Christian musicians like NOT doing guitar solos! What is the reason behind that? There are some freaking awesome guitarists in Christian music, and IF they do any guitar solo on their CD, they're MAYBE 20 seconds long. So sad.
[...] ProdigalJohn said it well on Twitter… “prayers for @johncmayer tonight, fame that fast & that far tends to leave shells in its wake.” (See also: Stuff Christians Like’s humorous post on “Why John Mayer would make a great worship leader“) [...]
Dave Matthews for sure.
It would be cool if he became a Christian… what lame reasons. How about because the bible calls all to repent and put their trust in the Lord famous or not. I pray God will save him before he slips right into hell.
I'd like to see Madonna become a christian.