There will be rocks.
Mar 11th by JonThese last two years have been a weird learning experience. From the Stuff Christians Like book to the blog, it’s been this fire hose moment of trying to communicate and share and not fail and take risks and try new things. In the midst of that, I feel like I’ve learned something about communicating …
there will be rocks.
When you speak to someone or blog to someone, they are often holding rocks in their hands. The rocks are built of all the negative experiences they’ve ever had with the idea you’re trying to tell them about. I think this is true of everything from faith to organized sports. As you talk to them, they hold their rock, a rock composed of a dad that forced them to play baseball even though they hate it. They hold a rock composed of a church they fell in love with only to have the pastor have an affair. They hold a rock full of all the conversations they’ve had with hypocrites and liars who once shared the same idea you are.
And they want to throw it at your idea. To unleash that rock.
The temptation Christians face often is to pretend that rock isn’t there. There’s a weird dynamic that we believe. We sometimes think that if we admit the church fails or that Christians fail, it means that God fails. So instead of admitting the rocks are there, we ignore them. Or we try to come up with excuses for them or shine them up or dress them up.
But I think that’s the wrong thing to do.
What I’ve learned is that the best thing to do is to confess those rocks are there. To get off your platform, whether in a one on one conversation or on a blog, and stand beside the person and say honestly, “Hey, you’ve got a rock in your hand. It’s a rock that I helped put their with my own hypocrisy and mistakes.” And then, once you’ve said that, once you’ve built a relationship that is real, I think you can ask them for the rock. You can say, “Can we talk about that rock? And while we talk, can I hold it for you?”
You know what happens when they give you their rock? Their hands are open and empty. They can now hold something new in those hands. Something like truth and mercy and grace. You can hand them something new when they hand you something old.
There will be rocks, but that’s OK.
We serve a Christ who knows a thing or two about moving rocks.
Comments
Sometimes that rock is a weird kind of security for me and you're going to have to pry it out of my clenched hand. But that would be good.
Thanks, Jon. I'm going to remember this one.
nice.
Also, if we need to defend ourselves against those rocks, we can stand behind THE Rock." (and I don't mean Dwayne Johnson).
So very true. Reminds me of the scene in Forrest Gump: "Sometimes, I guess there just aren't enough rocks." A powerful moment that can teach us all about mercy & grace. And our rocks. Thanks, Jon.
- Jer 17:1 –
The LORD says, "My people act as though their evil ways are laws to be obeyed, inscribed with a diamond point on their stony hearts, or with an iron chisel on the corners of their altars
We all have lies written on our hearts chiseled in fact with diamond point pen. Only God can heal those lies a.k.a rocks as you put it. Our job is to allow them to be exposed. But with that exposure comes freedom and healing.
When i finally started realizing I had been reacting to my husband and others out of lies that already written on my heart by life I freed them from being what their not suppose to be. Flip side when I know someone is reacting to me from a lie written on their heart it helps me understand that its not about me. I now know how to pray for these people.
One thing that I think needs to be made clear is we don’t need to hold anyones rock. That’s not our job. Our job is to point to Jesus. If we don’t tread lightly in that process that friend could get the wrong idea. Only God heals and deals with rocks. He exposes them anyway he sees fit. We can’t point out others rocks . We can know the other person has them but ” what’s that to me”. I have enough rocks of my own that I need to deal with with God alone. Satan could very easily slip in there. a person tring to hold my rock. But we weren’t meant to do that . Remember God holds the rocks, he exposes them in his time. Not humans. Now if your talking about sin that’s something different.
Thank you Jon……gonna try and drop some rocks today……
Beautiful! I'd say 'you Rock!', but… well, that'd be weird.
Jon, that was awesome. This is something I've been desperately needing to hear. Thank you for saying it.
Plus, bonus points for the best closing sentence I think I've ever read. Ok, maybe not THE best because I've read a lot of thing, but it is definitely one of the best
Yup, got teary eyes on that last sentence.
“We serve a Christ who knows a thing or two about moving rocks.”
That rocked my world. Ha. Seriously beautiful post for an equally beautiful idea.
Very well put. I love the rock analogy. Although we don't face the same physical rocks that Stephen and eve Paul did, we are lying to ourselves if we believe them to be any less destructive. It is amazing what a Christ centered, honest relationship can overcome though.
Great thoughts. It takes an extra effort to move past our defensiveness to see the baggage driving someone to be hurtful.
That's great post! That was what I needed to hear today.
This is excellent. I will be referring back to this. Very insightful
good stuff bro
"They hold a rock composed of a church they fell in love with only to have the pastor have an affair."
That's a hard rock to hold. Unfortunately, too many of us have held and are holding that one.
Rocks are so heavy to carry…
Beautiful. Especially the part about asking them if we can hold their rock for them. We don't do that nearly enough. I pray for courage to do just that.
Thank you.
Love this. My blog just had a major spike in views yesterday after WordPress was kind enough to give me some homepage space, and I have been sucking in my breath every time I see that there's a new comment. So far so good, but I know for certain that there are rock holders out there, and probably soon I'm going to get hit. This post is really timely for me, and really encouraging. Thank you.
Wow! I've been trying for years to get friends and believers to recognize that they DO have rocks. They're so busy denying the rocks. The worlds sees the rocks and they would have so much more respect for us if we just said, "yeah, I've got rocks and often, after I've thrown one, I pick up another one." Then maybe we could come together on something we all have in common – rocks!
//You know what happens when they give you their rock?//
Their hands are now empty to hold a DQ Blizzard shake. Mmmm sacrilicious!
We can hope that it's not really a rock. We can hope that it's actually a chunk of ice that might melt with the right kind of warmth.
Really insightful, especially about the rocks that we contribute to in others' lives.
awesome post…thanks. I need to hear that today.
Great post. And your comment that you can ask/talk about the rock "once you’ve built a relationship that is real" is so important… it seems that so many people forget this step…
Good word. Reminds me of some of the best advice (in just two words) I've received from an accomplished pastor: nothing's easy.
This advice has helped me through numerous projects, mostly involving home improvement/repair.
So true! My husband and I are really big on this. The church today and "Christians" today so many times don't look like Jesus–me included. I pray that God uses us to show others Jesus' love without trying to defend where we've gone wrong. People know when we've messed up–and when we're fake. The last thing we need to do is try to act like those rocks aren't there.
In the first few verses of Mark, Mark talks about John the Baptist (or the Evangelist, if you will). Quoting from Isaiah, he says that John's goal as an evangelist was to prepare the way for Jesus or "make the paths straight," not so that Jesus would have a smooth walk, but so that people could have a face-to-face encounter with Jesus. The rocks in between them and Jesus (be they the "hypocrisy" of believers, finer points of Scripture, creation/evolution, whatever) had to be pushed aside.
Our role as evangelists isn't to convince people of the truth – that's the Holy Spirit's job. Our role is just to help them to let down their defenses, put down their rocks, and have a clear path to Jesus.
This was kinda beautiful.
Loved this. I'm working right now with some young teenage "church" girls about dealing compassionately with some of their peers. I think I'll challenge them to try to discern what kind of rocks they're holding – and then offer to hold them for them…wow.
I think Stuff Christians Like is all about admitting our rocks and offering to hold others' rocks.
Excellent thoughts. Thank you. I've been the recipient of some rocks from non-christian friends because of my blog over the last couple of days. And I'm not a 'You don't have rocks' person…turns out I thought that was the magic button for not receiving rocks.
I was wrong.
[...] March 11, 2010 at 6:56 pm (Uncategorized) There will be rocks. [...]
"We serve a Christ who knows a thing or two about moving rocks," or daring someone to throw them! Well said.
Another blogger who commented today on my latest post has an armload of rocks. Unfortunately, Christians put them in her hands.
My latest post: http://singleandsane.blogspot.com/2010/03/witness...
A nerdy (Christian) geologists’ input on the subject: one thing we know is that rocks are subject to weathering, the process through which rocks are broken down into smaller pieces, or minerals. Some of the minerals are more resistant to weathering, depending on their chemical composition, and so they stick around longer in the environment…
Jon, I would add to your analogy by saying that the “breaking down” of the painful past experiences, or rocks that we hold onto, is one of the keys here… and, that TIME is a key factor in the process, both in the weathering of the rocks and in letting go of the past. Finally, a very important key factor in the process is the softening of our heart, so that the rock can weather, or break down faster, with the love of our Heavenly Father in our lives.
Rock On!!
yikes, i added my website wrong
this has the correct link…
"It’s a rock that I helped put *their* with my own hypocrisy and mistakes."
I believe that the word you were looking for is *there*. Grammar rock flung!!!
That is what happens when you live in a glass house, people throw rocks at it.
I am with you though, I wont throw any
Absolutely. this was an accurate and insightful reminder. Interesting how the simple entries can sometimes hold such profound meaning. We live in a fragile world that we have built of stained glass, that we gaze at through rose colored lenses… or at least we strive to build up some sense of security that is just that fragile when all is said and done. Because of our fear of instability we are often quick to throw our rocks at others, forgetting that we have built up our own house of glass. We are then surprised when our own world comes crashing down in a painful and brilliant collapse. Sometimes a collapse isn't a bad thing though. It can allow for things to be built on a solid foundation. Now what if after we tear down our houses of glass and lies, we identify the rocks we have been holding onto and release them so that we can place them under our feet and they no longer become a weapon, but are reconciled and actually become a part of our foundation. That is redemption and grace. What a God we serve. He takes what has potential to harm and turns it into soemthing we can stand over in victory.
Wow! There will be rocks. This is true, too, when we share the Lord with unbelievers–we have to be patient, kind enough to not ignore the rocks, and address (or accept) them as appropriate. Rocks, such as abuse by a "believer", rejection by "Christian" family members, and many more, keep people from understanding the Love of Christ. If we ignore those rocks, what will they do with them? Thanks from one who avoids rocks at all costs..but shouldn't.
Good word man. Needed that after today. He can move some stuff
great post! One good rock…On Christ, the Solid Rock, I stand! All other ground is sinking sand!
awesome post!
i read your blog, because i think you are really funny. and when one is part of a pastor's family, trust me, laughing becomes a survival skill! so i apreciate your humor.
and then you hit me with this. and it is so true. and even though i already kind of know this concept, the picture of people holding rocks will stick with me and help me in dealing with people and their rocks. so thank you!
again, awesome post!
Wow I really like this – you have great analogies Jon. This is a great way to put it. Thanks for this – I really needed to hear this today.
There's a scripture that Jesus made reference to casting stones in the New Testament. Folks that cast stones are usually people that have the inability to see their own sins. So they perceive people's sin as an offence to a collective standard that exist only in their brains (lol). Most importantly the accuser took other people sins personally. There is a three step rule that I try to focus on:
1. Acceptance
2. Embracement
3. Servitude
If someone has a character flaw or does something you don’t expect them to do we first have to accept that character just the way they are. Second we learn to embrace their personal sin(s) (with the love of Christ); rather it be against someone else or against ourselves. Third we serve that person they still have the condition until they are will to grow out of their condition.
Blessings.
This is a great statement on how we as Christians should view those who "troll" against us when we share what we believe, especially on the Internet.
I usually don't read SCL for the Serious Wednesday posts (I prefer the silliness) but this one got to me.
Thanks.
I read the book and laughed an awful lot in embarrassing public situations. Thanks
For that and this post; this is so true.