I want to, want to be crazy about the World Cup.
Seriously, my desire to actually desire the World Cup is off the charts.
I’m not sure anyone else on the planet wishes they were into the World Cup more than me. I grew up playing soccer. I think it’s a beautiful game. I wish our country shut down like other countries on the day our team played. The Brazilian player Kaka is wildly open about his love of Christ and a blast to watch. There’s no doubt that I would love to be caught up in the feverish pitch of the World Cup.
But the first few rounds are tough. The action is slow and I refuse to believe that a 0-0 game is exciting. In fact, if we were able to harness the energy people expend trying to tell you how a game in which neither team accomplishes their only mission is thrilling I think we could solve the gulf oil crisis in about 10 minutes.
The games are getting better though. The deeper you go in the tourney the more intense it gets. For right now though, the World Cup kind of feels like the movies of Kenny Chesney’s ex-wife/Bradley Cooper’s future wife. I want to like them, I feel like I should, but I just don’t yet.
What I do love though is the vuvuzela, the tiny plastic horn that appears to have been minted in the very mines of Mordor. Capable of creating a thick blanket of drunken wasp sound in the entire stadium, the vuvuzela is unstoppable. Rather than fight it and complain as many others have, I think we should embrace it and bring it to church.
Here are three ways we could employ the vuvuzela at church:
1. Give one to every youth minister.
Forget acoustic guitars and even cowbells, has there ever been an instrument better suited to youth ministry? A kid asks for a precise definition of “virginity” cause they want to redefine the boundaries? Blast them with the vuvuzela. The elders get unruly about how youth group is being run? Here comes some brand new flavor in your ear, vuvuzela. College kids come back and try to awkwardly date the high school sophomores? Vuvuzela! It works on so many levels it makes my teeth hurt.
2. Play it during baptisms.
I love when a Sunday School class or small group claps and cheers for a friend getting baptized, but what if instead they got to play the vuvuzela? How fantastic would that be? Imagine a wave of vuvuzela rising up from the sanctuary as someone rose up out of the water. That would be a game changer as far as I am concerned.
3. Drive home sermon points.
I don’t necessarily love the guy who screams “Jesssssusssss” in your cochlea at concerts during random intervals. But I do like the guy who says, “Amen” when the pastor cranks it out of the park on a particular sermon illustration or point. What if instead of just words, you could show your approval of a sermon with a steady screech of sweet, sweet vuvuzela?
I have to believe there are other ways we could weave this delightful instrument, dare I say “Angel’s Horn,” into church. It’s possible this is what the angels played when they awoke the shepherds at Christ’s birth. I think I read that in the message version of the Bible.
But what about you? How would you bring a bit of the World Cup to your church? Horn? Body paint? Penalty kicks?
How would you World Cup your church?