Wanting the wisdom without the walk.
Jun 30th by Jon- Tagged in:
- serious wednesdays
“You don’t need novocaine. I’m just going to use this drill to shape your tooth a little.”
My dentist told me that yesterday. If I didn’t have a complicated contraption in my mouth at the time, I would have replied, “You’re using a high powered drill to shape my tooth and you don’t feel like that requires novocaine? Seriously? Novocaine was meant for moments like this like the Kardashians were meant to date professional athletes.”
I didn’t say that though and he proceeded to drill. Instead of drugs I just went to my “happy place,” which is currently the Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Orlando.
I went to the dentist in an emergency because my teeth have been killing me for a few days. One in particular feels like it sustained a shock greater than the Bachelor and his “love” interest “breaking up.”
My dentist took one look at my mouth and saw the problem. Stress. I’ve been grinding my teeth at night while I sleep. Wrestling and clenching my jaw in anxiety. And I know why.
These have been some crazy days.
My oldest daughter is entering the first grade. I’m writing a second book. CNN is letting me share the gospel on their site. Some fun opportunities and ugly challenges that make my head spin have popped up. And to be honest with you, I kind of want God to use some sort of voodoo on the whole situation.
I want to click ruby red slippers and wake up with everything figured out. I want the wisdom of the journey without the walking. But life doesn’t work that way and neither does God. This is something I reminded of every time I read the story of Joseph.
We know his story. He was sold into slavery by his brothers. He was wrongly thrown into prison. He interpreted Pharaoh’s dream with God’s guidance and became the second most powerful man in Egypt. We know that, but a counselor once forced me to look at that story with different eyes.
He said part of what’s amazing about Joseph is not just where he ended up but where he came from. If you look at his family tree, it is littered with funk. It is a recipe for generational sin.
Abraham lied and prostituted his wife. Not once, but twice. He doubted God’s ability to provide a child so severely that he started another family with his maidservant. Isaac repeated the same mistake by whoring out his wife too. He also created a household where he had a favorite son and his wife had a different one. Jacob and Esau were a mess, with Jacob stealing Esau’s birthright. Jacob then proceeds to repeat his father’s mistake by creating a favorite son, Joseph.
One can only wonder what would have happened to Joseph if he had stayed in that environment. Credited with perhaps being the cockiest Israelite ever, chances are he would have been a mess if he stayed at home parading about in an “I’m better than you v-neck rainbow robe.” But he didn’t stay home and he didn’t wreck his life by repeating the same mistakes as his family. He turned things around. So how did Joseph transform into an awe-inspiring man of God in charge of Egypt?
It’s simple, he suffered. He was sold into slavery. He spent years in a dungeon. He hit his bottom and found God waiting to lift him up. He was refined by the trials and tribulations of his life.
I do not like suffering. I do not like hard times or wish them upon anyone. I think God works through blessings too and that going through suffering is not the answer to all of life’s challenges. But in my 34 years, I cannot dismiss the clarity of God’s voice when all other distractions are removed from my life in the middle of a crisis.
And when I think about suffering, I am required by Christian blogger law to write about someone I’ve written about before, Job. I want to look at my own periods of confusion like Job did in chapter 23:9-10:
When he is at work in the north, I do not see him;
when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him.
But he knows the way that I take;
when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.
How did Joseph break the dysfunction that had hurt his family for generations?
He came forth as gold.
Being shaped is never easy. Becoming gold is never as easy or as quick as I would like it to be. Have you ever felt that way? Whether it’s a job that is slowly wearing you down or a relationship that feels tangled or a dream that is dying on the vine as you work somewhere to pay the bills, life is not always easy. And to be honest, there are days when I want to yell, “Where are you God? I catch no glimpse of you!”
But the truth for me and the truth for you, is that he is at work.
Even if we do not see him. Even if we catch no glimpse of him. Even if the testing weighs heavy, he is in motion. He is unchanging. He is relentless with his grace and mercy and love.
He knows the way we take.
And he will bring us forth as gold.
Comments
I laughed out loud at your happy place. Seriously, when ARE you going to plan an SCL event there?!?
I always like to think that "paying your dues" is like weeding your garden.
It doesn't seem like you are really getting any where, and why would you want to do it?
However the fruits of your labour are very apparent at the end of the day.
Like the story of Joseph, it is rarely where you are that matters most, it is how you got there.
I really enjoy this blog. Very much actually. I am a fan. I send links to friends, etc. And I'm disappointed. _Two_ references to trash/reality TV? And in the first 4 paragraphs? Nauseating. Not funny. Not witty. Not cute. Just trashy.
May I recommend that you stick to what you do well? More God stuff please!
[...] He will bring us forth as gold. Categories [...]
yes yes yes.
So agreed.
I'm going through this now where Im on a walk I dont understand and deeply just want the story and to know the ending but I know God has me this path for a reason even if other people (or just myself) dont understand.
Thank you for this.
Diamonds – Pressure, Heat, Time (and some other stuff I know but this makes better preaching)
Is it possible to both love and hate a post because it is so right?
Thanks, Jon. Needed to hear this.
I so needed to hear this today. Thanks so much for the encouragement.
So there with you right now. Waaaaaaiiiiiting on God to get us back where we belong and not understanding why He's not moving on it already …. Right now I am asking to catch a glimpse of Him in this waiting. Thanks for the reminder that He is in motion.
Mesi Anpil!
T.
Sometimes it does seem overwhelming to sort stuff out… especailly when you've already been through something and you find yourself facing the same kind of thing again … or when you're in totally new waters. With time it's getting easier to trust that the same God who walked with me through the previous stuff is going to see me to the end. I've had plenty of times too when I thought I really wanted something or I had a better plan than God, only in hindsight to see how merciful He was for not giving me what I wanted.
Thanks, Jon. Your Wednesday posts always seem to be just what I need to read. Thanks for reminding me that God is at work in my life, even when I can barely sense His presence.
Btw, I also grind my teeth and recently got a mouth guard from my dentist. It's helped a lot.
When are we going to learn that Christianity is more a relationship than an education. Learning more (wisdom) will come as the icing during the journey!
it's pointless to hate the hard times. why? because they're inevitable, and to think otherwise is FOOLISH. i'm not trying to burst anyone's Christian bubble, but it's just the honest truth. that doesn't mean that God isn't there, and that He didn't already know we would go through hard times. honestly, does ANY of us think we're the only ones who have gone through hard times? what about all those before us who didn't have NEAR the resources we have, but yet still were able to live their lives, because God made a way for them? i'm not saying the hard times are fun, but you know what? most of life isn't fun. that, again, is the honest truth, and to think otherwise is just as you may have guessed: FOOLISH.
Thank you. This post was exactly what I needed to hear, exactly when I needed to hear it. I mean, read it. Isn't that just the way God works though? A little ironic, that a post about "where is God?" is God saying to me, "I am here". That's not exactly what you were getting at, but it's what I got from it
both abraham and Joseph were given promises from God… Both had to wait, be patient and keep believing.. I bet it would have been so easy to give up and start doubting (and I'm sure they did)… Just goes to show that we should be patient and keep believing and trusting God to deliver what he has promised us
I must admit I have a problem with your renderings of the prophets of the Old Testament. Jacob, for instance, did not steal Esau's birthright. Esau sold it. The fact that Jacob had enough understanding of his brother's contempt for that power and responsibility, that Esau would satisfy his own appetites rather than sacrifice all to serve God, shows a good deal of awareness. Indeed, the depth of that awareness may indicate a little divine enlightenment. Your portrayal of some of the greatest of God's children, those with whom He covenanted, the Fathers of His People, as unrighteous, whoremongering, selfish, lying incompetents seems incongruous to me. I realize that the brevity of your piece may not allow for a fully developed representation of these men, and that the point was not to evaluate them as men or as Men of God. It is with this understanding that I try to subdue my own distaste of shallow and flippant charicatures and nod my agreement with your basic premise that God allows suffering for our sake not for His own hateful vengeance, and that as we come unto Him, He will make of us more than we ever thought we could be.
So when you say "come out as gold", you are, in fact, suggesting that you came out of the detist's office with a gold tooth, right? I mean, we know your desire to be a rapper…
Ahhh. how I needed these words today. I thank you for them.
Thanks Jon for speaking in a raw way. This is me right now with so many areas of my life. You have no idea how critical it is that you continue to speak the realities of your life…the questions, fears, unknowns, pains so that we are able to hang on to God through your words and be drawn back to truth as God uses you to speak it into us. Thanks friend…you are wise beyond your years. God bless.
When I find myself in an unpleasant situation asking God, "why me, why now, why this?" His response is always the same, "well, why not you? I planned this time especially for you, should I give it to someone else?" Is God allowed to do whatever He wants in my life, or rather, the life He's gracefully breathing into me everyday?
He planned me to live for Him to glorify Him and I can't do anything apart from Him, even suffer. I can't properly suffer without the God who planned the suffering.
I need to embrace the spiritual logic wherein I realize that when my circumstances suck, it's really just God showing that He loves me enough to break me and make me better.
I always try to have that response too – whenever I want to ask "Why me" to respond with "Why not me?" It doesn't change the situation, but it does lessen my self-pity.
Jon, the dentist chair *is* my happy place because that's where I enjoy my drug habit. I can't have any alcohol (migraines) and don't use any of the others. So laughing gas is it. I practically skip my way into dental appointments. Because no matter how much God has molded me in other areas, He wants me to be happy in that chair.
I'm new to reading your blog and it's already one of my favorites. I'm loving your approach in your writing, light and heavy at the same time…I'm just loving the truth that is being shared! Joseph is an example I return to time and time again and hearing the story retold through other's circumstances is so uplifting and encourages me to not be weary in this walk but know at all times God is working, He never gives up on us – He is the Restorer.
God's plan @ work sound extra familiar in my life right now. i currently feel God's warm touch of awakening to his plan involving me, its big… as big as it'll ever get, i think… scary stuff! Yesterday his power & mostly grace covered me & a friend with my same calling, in a different location. We later confirmed his plan in us… as recent as yesterday!
We (me & my also called friend) are now an agent of change in our circle of friends & peers. WOW! He's actually using me & communicating with me in a clear plan. God will do with us HIS plan & no variation. I listen but now I can't stop reaching people that he tells me to go to & talk to, I say what he tells me to, which surprises myself as I talk to people. I like being an instrument.
God used to use me in this way when I was young in a small way giving God's wisdom through my speech (which in itself is a miracle cause I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed), slowly I coldly decided to try different thing of the world but now he knocked on the door to my heart, I heard & answered.
I feel it.
I am guilty of wanting the wisdom without the walk in that I want to have the theological wisdom without always having to put it into practice. Obviously pride on my part (and maybe other issues). Thankfully, I feel conviction about this, so don't worry too much.
“I’m better than you v-neck rainbow robe.”
love.
Training Walk 5 – Slogging!…
I found your entry very interesting and I’ve added a Trackback to it on my weblog
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