One letter that changes everything.
Jul 21st by Jon- Tagged in:
- serious wednesdays
“So why are you airing our dirty laundry in front of the world? They already hate us, why give them ammunition?”
Someone online told me that a few weeks ago about something I wrote concerning us Christians. Their fear was that I was adding more fuel to an already ugly fire. Their concern was that the world already feels we’re hypocritical or fake or unloving, do we really want to agree with them? And I honestly thought they were asking a very smart, kind-hearted question. Should we really admit our bumps and bruises and failures?
The easy answer is yes. Like the show Burn Notice having LeBron James do a cameo now that he plays for Miami, the answer is simple. Yes. Yes we should be honest about our mistakes. Yes we should be real about our stumbles. Yes we should be open about our faults. But there’s something else at work that I want to discuss. Something a little devious. Something I realized recently.
Satan likes to throw shame at the very things we are called to share.
He likes to tell you that failure is something to put a coat of paint over. He likes to tell you that no one will ever understand. He likes to tell you that if people really knew you, they wouldn’t love you. He likes to tell you to push things deep and into the darkest spots of who you are. He likes to fan the flames of regret and ask you to hold heavy things you were never meant to carry.
Why?
Because he is afraid.
In God’s hands, your mistakes are not open cuts, they are healed scars that tell stories of great hope. They are not wounds to lie about, they are words other people need to hear. They are warning signs on roads your friends and family and neighbors are on. They are lighthouses in the midst of stormy weather. They are neon signs he uses to point the way toward repentance.
They are something to share.
I believe that when we roll up our sleeves and reveal healed scars, we reveal a God who makes us brand new. I believe that when we tell friends the truth about regrets, we tell friends about a God who knows no condemnation. I believe that when we tear off the wrapping paper of hurt, we show the gift of hope inside.
I believe in the power of share.
I don’t know what you believe about those two words, shame and share. They are so closely wound together and yet so opposite. They share everything but a single letter. The “r” is the only thing that changes “shame” to “share.” One little “r,” but it changes everything.
To me, the r stands for reborn.
To me, the r stands for renewed.
To me the r stands for redeemed.
One simple r, one continuous decision to chose share over shame. A one letter difference, but what a difference it makes. We see it when Christ returns. When overcome with doubt, what do the disciples do to verify the truth? To know that hope is real and returned?
They touch his scars.
Roll up your sleeves today.
Don’t hide. Don’t give in to shame.
Share.
Comments
Wow, Jon! Excellent post! Thank you for sharing this today, I completely agree. I'm specifically reminded of 1 Timothy 1:15-17. "The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life. To the King of ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen."
Living in Colorado Springs through the Ted Haggard scandal and after I have often wondered how things would have been different if he had been honest from the pulpit? How many others would have come forward? I firmly believe I HAVE to share if I am going to affect anyone for Christ. Great post!
Ted Haggard would never have had a sizable audience in the first place if he had been honest about his homosexuality from day one.
Homosexuality is a "special sin", in that Christians collectively seem far less forgiving of it than they are of others such as greed, sloth, gluttony, alcoholism, or dishonesty.
I agree with you about Haggard's audience had he been honest, but I don't agree that it's because of homosexuality being a "special sin". I wouldn't have given creedence to what he was saying because if, as a pastor, he doesn't know/care what scripture says about leaders being at a higher level of accountability, I have reason to distrust the rest of his teaching.
How about a fat preacher? Such a person is obviously making no attempt to control his sin of gluttony. Would you listen to a fat preacher, or would you disregard his teaching because leaders should have a higher level of accountability?
Just FYI, not all fat people are gluttons. Most fat people aren't gluttons.
Everyone's metabolism is different. Some have hormonal issues. Some have joint issues and can't exercise.
People we consider "fat" get a really bad rap, and I don't think it's right. So, my $0.02.
I think sometimes, part of the need to cover things up is that the public face of Christianity is about absolute redemption. There's very little out there that says "I'm a Christian, and I still struggle." Almost all the Christian media out there is telling us that once you're a Christian, you're so much of a new creature that you can't have problems anymore. And if you do, you're either not really saved, or you're not really trusting God. I was even flat out told by a Christian that there was no way I could be of use to others until I "got over" my problems – as though only those who are perfect (which of course is impossible) can even remotely be used of God. Just because we're Christians doesn't make us beyond humanity.
I think there are a LOT of people out there who could use the simple message, "I'm a Christian, and I struggle with _______."
It's intuitive, of course– no one is perfect except God, so every Christian struggles with something. Yet we seem to get stuck in the mindset that we are the worst sinner, that there never was or never will be anyone as bad as us. We allow Satan to cut us off from support with our Christian siblings.
I struggle with that ALL the time. Since I've been saved, suddenly I have to have all the answers? That is not what I thought I was getting myself into! Hello! I don't have to know all the answers because I have a God who does! There is relief in knowing I don't have to know it all. And knowing that being broken is ok, b/c Jesus loved to hang with broken people. I'm not sure exactly why the media decides to portray Christians as having it all together, but I know for my story that couldn't be the furthest from the truth.
If only being Christian was enough to guarantee a lifelong marriage. It is so sad how many Christian couples split up.
I'm reading "Confessions" by ST Augustine right now. He confesses everything from his time before knowing Christ. It makes him human and vulnerable. I believe that kind of person is more able to help and influence without being dragged down by others pointing out his flaws. He never hid them, never pretended to be a perfect human, and, in doing so, gives permission for us "normals" to seek Christ like him without feeling we aren't a "special Christian" limited to baking casseroles for pot-lucks. We're children of God with the same Holy Spirit.
The illustration, at the end, of the disciples checking Jesus' scars for proof of hope, resurrection, and rebirth, instead of being sources of shame – brilliant.
Great post, Jon!
Because of everything you share here, my wife and I are sharing our painful story of marriage, divorce, and remarriage this morning at the Beeson Pastor's School at Samford. Our story is found at http://www.traylorlovvorn.com .
For so long we compared our worst with everyone else's perfect mask and we lost that comparison every time. This allows the enemy to shame us which leads to even more hiding and more striving.
Unfortunately, so much emphasis today among evangelicals is turning prodigals into elder brothers instead of true worshipers. My wife and I realized deep unbelief of the gospel was at the core of our hiding. Because God loves us as we are and has paid the price for our sins, we can live as we are…boldly in the light.
Thanks again for a great and timely post!
Traylor
Spirit-led. Deeply meaningful. Thanks so much.
Way to preach it Jon!
This is a fantastic post Jon. It's a serious one, which leads me to something I've been chewing on.
Can humor and theology amalgamate?
Are they mutually exclusive?
I see you have, for a while, made a separation with deeper spiritual thoughts away from quips and good fun. Perhaps for the purpose of clarification? So the message doesn't get convoluted?
I'd LOVE to know-
Do you find that you either have to be quite serious to be considered thoughtful and theological, (serious Wednesdays) and toss out the funny?
I'd like to ask your fans:
How much humor takes away from the seriousness of living a Reality that accepts God as the Source and center of all things, including our salvation?
Is there a constructive tension, or have we been going about it wrong? Or "other"…
Please link/jump over, and weigh in. (here: http://wp.me/pri9O-KR )
thanks. very. much.
love and peace
Lisa
So what does the "m" in shame stand for? Mamby-pamby? Mealy-mouthed? Miniscule?
I agree that many (if not most) Christians are hypocritical, fake, and unloving. Organized Christianity is mainly about gathering together with supposedly "like-minded" people to try to pretend to be something they are not. Throw in the self-aggrandizing, evenagelical leaders who prey on the ignorance of the masses, and it's no wonder the rest of the world thinks what they do.
You may be able to discern by my distaste that I left "the church" some time ago; if so, you would be correct.
Revelation says we overcome him by the word of our testimony and the blood of the lamb. If we don't talk about what we have been thru and healed from then we don't have testimony. The more we talk, the quieter he gets.
(self-pimp: wrote an entire book on this: The Devil in Your Garden. Find it at your local Amazon link today!)…. *cough* sorry
Don't know if someone already said this, but one of the reasons they hate us is because of our insistence on promoting the lie that we have no dirty laundry.
"… with just my family."
Been there. And have been thanking God for my family ever since. God blesses us with support systems even in the worst times.
Great post! I will keep sharing – warts and all.
great post jon!
[...] This past Wednesday (7/21/2010) he posted, as part of his serious Wednesday postings, a blog title One letter changes everything (I highly recommend you check it [...]
Everyone who lives on this planet has those places of brokenness and the scars of a lifetime of of being tossed around and bumping into other broken people. By being willing to show others our scars, and even our open wounds that haven't healed yet, we acknowledge our common need for help and mercy and can act as signposts, pointing the way to the true source of healing, mercy and love. There is tremendous hope in knowing that his love is greater than our shame. That is the gift we have to offer each other and the world.
Not sure you're checking comments this late in the game, but I had to tell you that while God filled you with all sorts of funny when he created you and using it to minister daily to those around you, the Jon that comes out on Wednesdays is, by far, my favorite. Serious without taking yourself seriously. We should all recognize that our cheese constantly falls off our cracker.
That's amazing. I really love this post. It defines what I try to help clients do as a counselor. Come out of the dark, into the light, ugliness and all, and find freedom and healing by being real.
I love these ideas so much that, when my very talented cousin asked me to make me a sign as a housewarming gift, I asked her to convey this message on the sign. Here's what it looks like: /U<img src="http://i257.photobucket.com/albums/hh238/atsjen/38332_1537099155747_1482922649_3057872_6618347_n.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket">
[...] One letter changes everything (Stuff Christians Like – Jon Acuff – @prodigaljohn) [...]
Shame. That's one of the biggest things I hated about becoming a Christian. Sad, I know.
I like this a lot. I recently met a guy through my boyfriend who grew up in a tumultuous household. Its no wonder he turned to drugs to escape his reality. He's finally moved out and gotten a great job, but he is not afraid to share what he's gone through, because he wants to help people. He wants people to see what he's gone through and see what he's become, in spite of it all. He is an incredibly gifted guy, super intelligent with a lot going on in his brain, he just doesn't have a lot of good outlets to express himself. Its a perfect example of sharing instead of being shamed. This is a wonderful serious Wednesday post. Love it.
Don't need church after that! Thank you Jon. It's so right on and a message that needs to be shared with the world. It's funny that I happen to read this today because I literally dealt with an issue concerning this matter. It was a difficult process to unearth a shame of my own. I thought I would just die going through he process of hashing through the emotions but once I stepped over to the side of sharing, the mercy and grace that followed was much sweeter than the burden of hiding. The faith of stepping ot and allowing God to use our wronging or our shame is a testimony to His Word and His Faithfulness to fulfill His promise to His children. Thank you so much for sharing your heart and stepping out in faith. This post is what I call a "God-sighting".
[...] They are something to share. (One Letter Changes Everything) [...]
the thing that is frustrating for me is that my friends and parts of my family use my regrets against me when we have this discussion…
I have told my wife plenty of things that I have never told my parents, because I don't trust my parents the way I trust my wife. It's sad when one can't trust his own parents, but it happens. All it takes is them using trusted knowledge against you once, and you can never trust them again.
Powerful
I once was told by a wise and Godly woman that the scars we carry from sin and abusive, disfunctional experiences are trophies of grace. Being able to function as a whole and healed person despite our scars is a much better example of God's love and grace than trying to hide our pain and faults.
That explains people who are a bit heavy, like 20-30 lbs overweight. It does not explain gigantic 350lb people.
The fact is that people have a hard time looking at a really fat person and saying "sinner". It's MUCH easier to do that when it has something to do with sex, isn't it?