Christian Music Supergroups Poised to Take the World By Storm

(It’s guest post Friday. Today’s is one from a Stuff Christians Like legend, Curtis Honeycutt. If you want to write one too, submit it here.)

As music trends come and go, everyone’s waiting for the next big thing—the next wave of artists to take the world of music into uncharted territory. Well, believe it or not, here are some Christian music supergroups poised to be the biggest things in music since the British Invasion:

I Can Only Imagine Dragons
This is actually a series of college campus lectures given by the guys from MercyMe where they tackle the peculiar passages in the Bible some have linked to dinosaurs. Was Jonah actually swallowed up by Nessie? You’ll have to buy a ticket and find out!

Switchfootloose
This straight-to-VHS documentary about a popular band from California who wants to express themselves through dance has gotten pretty mixed reviews from the online community. The best scene is when the group’s manager refuses to let them perform an interpretive dance number during their concert, so they run off into the forest and do some serious angry dancing. In the end, it’s a beautiful letdown.

The David Crowder*Experiment (DC*E)
In this new TLC reality show, The Rend Collective Experiment takes a My Fair Lady­style bet from a rival band that they can’t pass off David Crowder as their long lost banjo player from Northern Ireland. The group tries and tries to shake Crowder’s heavy Texas accent, and it almost works, that is, until he unpredictably busts out a keytar solo in the middle of “Build Your Kingdom Here”. Hey, I’d buy that album.

The World Wide Webb
Derek Webb takes his music around the world in this supergroup that combines everyone he’s ever worked with, including Caedmon’s Call, Jars of Clay and some obscure, yet cool bands from NoiseTrade. The tour also includes people he’s always wanted to work with, like Questlove. Years later, Al Gore will take credit for the idea of these guys getting together to form the World Wide Webb.

Relient K Cups
Sometimes you really only want a taste of Relient K, but don’t want to have to make an entire album full of their music. Now, you can have a single serving size Relient K song with Relient K Cups. Simply open up the cup and one Relient K song will play. After the song is over, simply toss the empty cup in the trash and start your day.

The Goo Goo Ga Ga Güngör Tour
What do you get when you combine hit rock group, the headline-catching artist who brought us hits like “Poker Face” and the band who’s bringing umlaut back? You get the Goo Goo Ga Ga Güngör Tour, coming to a city near you. This is the biggest and strangest thing to entertain kids’ ears since Yo Gabba Gabba. Make sure to stay until the very end, because you won’t want to miss the encore, where all three acts come out and sing their hits while wearing outfits made entirely out of fruit leather.

Audio News
In probably the best idea out of all these, Audio Adrenaline combines forces with the Newsboys to form this truly supergroup that includes two thirds of dc Talk. Their debut album is phenomenal, but there is one major problem: after downloading Audio News’ songs, iTunes gets confused by the band’s name and categorizes their tracks as podcasts, so no one gets around to listening to them. Oh well. That would have been an awesome band.

What bands did I leave out? What groups would you like to see take the world by storm?

(For more great ideas from Curtis, follow him on Twitter.)

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Comments

  1. Nate Horsfall says

    CARMAN MAN
    Carman comes back with a multi-instrumental, experimental sound that will knock your socks off and bring you to your knees. Free concerts. donations gladly accepted.

    NEON TREE63
    With a new “alternative” version of “Blessed Be Your Name”.

    POINT OF THREE DAYS GRACE
    After the resignation of lead singer Adam Gontier, Canadian rock band Three Days Grace combines forces with remaining members of middle-aged mommy baby-boomer band, Point of Grace. The newly combined band will now be re-recording hits such as “You Will Never Walk Alone” with slashing guitar riffs, daring drum solos, and screaming positive (and uplifting) lyrics you’re familiar with.

    • caitlin.brantley. says

      Now wait… How DO you turn Coldplay and U2 into death-metal outfits?

      I have a better idea… The Cold-Pressed Play. A man with an unbearably cute falsetto brings you piano-driven electronica, along with a chick who sings ever so soulfully.

  2. says

    Google Plus One

    A new Social Network that lets you enjoy all of your old boy band favorites from the 90s. Sadly, like boy bands, it fades into obscurity after people are too embarrassed to admit they use it.

  3. says

    Guns and Moses. This band will form in the end times when the two unknown prophets return to try and make us repent one more time. This will happen during a very convincing Slash solo played on a cross shaped guitar.

  4. says

    By The Tree 63

    Caedmon’s Calling Glory

    PO-Direct Message
    Youtube video of former frontman Sonny Sandoval reminiscing of old times and free styling about the spam of direct messages on twitter.

    Shout To The Lord’s Army
    -In this sketch Darlene Zschech invades a Southern Baptist Awana night to lead the children in her version of I’m In The Lords Army
    “Yes ma’am!”

  5. says

    Bebo Norman Bates/Bebo Norman Rockwell

    This 2 Pack CD special is a musical journey from the darkness to the light, a wild ride that will have you on the edge of your seat. A reminder for sure of those hopeless days before Christ and the all sunshiny happy days of life with Christ

  6. Queen B**** says

    Looking forward to hearing that Christian/Polka fusion: punk vs. funk. I’m all ears, elephants never forget. ;)

  7. caitlin.brantley. says

    I was thinking Florence Feeds the Machine. Or the Coldplay Harmonic. (Oops… That already happened… well, sorta.) Or Martin & Martin, bringing together the worship legend of Delirious’s Martin (Smith) and the iconic voice of (Coldplay’s Chris) Martin. (No we can’t do that… We already have Shane & Shane… names are too similar…) Or, tobyMacKeith, bringing you the best of country & R’n’B.

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