There are two things I don’t prefer to do with my hands at church.
I know you’re probably thinking that “throat chop” is one of them, but that’s not really in my control. If I run into a cat burglar stealing the offering, I can’t tell a killer whale not to be a killer whale. Nature tends to run its course.
And it’s not that I don’t like shaking hands with people. Our church doesn’t do the “turn to say hi to the person next to you,” but if they did, I would be pretty amazing at it. My greatest skill in those kind of moments is trying to shake someone’s hand who is trying to hug me. I am so awesome at that.
No, what I don’t particularly like doing at church is clapping my hands and raising them during worship.
I don’t judge people who do. (Except if you brought your own tambourine.)
I am glad you like to clap and happy you feel called to sing with your hands raised. I don’t and for years have felt what doctors call “lazy hand shame.” Have you ever felt that too? It’s the feeling you get when you find yourself sitting in a flock of hand raisers or aggressive clappers. You look at your dumb mitts and think, “Why do you hate Jesus so much?” But deep down you know you don’t have faithless digits. You know your hands are full of hope, but they don’t want to get down like everyone else.
For years, I suffered in silence, alone in my own Creed like prison. But no longer.
I have the solution my hand challenged friend. I have the cure to all your appendage woes. And it is so simple. Ready?
A coffee cup.
That’s it. That’s all you have to do. Next Sunday, bring a cup of coffee into church. You can’t clap with coffee in your hand, that’d be crazy! You can’t raise your hands when God is roaring like a lion, or raining down love like water or doing whatever like fire or something, it’s pretty early and I’m kind of tired.
I would love to, but look at my hand! It’s full of hot liquid that I would prefer not to spill on you or God’s carpet.
And if you attend a church that doesn’t allow coffee, all the better. People will be so offended that you are breaking the rules they won’t even notice you are not clapping. Win to the win.
So grab a cup. Kick lazy hand shame to the curb.
Do you sing with your hands raised?