3 things you can only do in church.

Church

Years ago, my friends Tripp and Tyler did a video about the things you can’t do when you’re not in a pool. It was a hilarious look at those two guys spitting water at people on the sidewalk, making absurd underwater faces and in general being perfectly silly.

It made me think though, are there some things you can only do in church? Are there some weird things we take for granted that if you did other places would seem ridiculous?

I think there are and here are the three I came up with:

3 things you can only do in church.

1. Ask a stranger to scoot in to the middle.
If you’re late to church one morning, it is perfectly acceptable for you to ask a complete stranger sitting on the aisle to scoot in to the middle. You might not think that’s a weird thing, but try that same thing the next time you fly Southwest. If you’re in the B boarding group, walk onto the plane and find someone from the A group who has claimed an aisle seat. Walk up to them and say, “Excuse me, will you scoot in to the middle so I can sit in the aisle?” Let me know how the rest of the flight goes.

2. Hug people you don’t really know.
Your church might not do this, but I’ve been at plenty of churches where the pastor said, “Turn to the person next to you, give them a big hug and let them know you’re glad that they’re here!” (Cue collective introvert shudder.) Try this one at Starbucks today. As you wait in line, just turn to the person next to you, embrace them in a full frontal hug (no leg wrap please) and say, “I am so glad you are at Starbucks!” Please do not mention this blog post in the arrest report.

3. Shout phrases of encouragement when someone says something good.
I love when people shout “Amen!” when I am speaking at a church. I also like “That’s the truth!” I find both of those things encouraging. But next time you’re in a meeting at work, try that. When your boss reads off the plans for a new client, just scream from the back of the room, “That’s the truth!” Or better yet, scream out, “Devil is a lie!” Then email me and I’ll help you figure out what it feels like to be unemployed. (Technically you can yell at concerts but I don’t cotton to sitting near the guy who screams “Jesusssssss!!!!” directly in your ear canal all night.)

There are a lot of things you can only do in church.

Those are my 3, what do you think is something you can only do in church?

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Comments

  1. Nicki says

    I’m not sure how I would do in the job market if I could justify leaving my last company because I felt like I “wasn’t being fed.” Hmm…

  2. says

    At our church the acolyte brings in the light of Christ at the beginning of service. I think if I slowly walked into my office holding a lit candle and praying to Jesus, there’d be a pretty big kerfuffle soon after.

  3. says

    1. Side hug.

    2. Eat bread that has been torn from a loaf by hand by someone who, only 1/2 hour before, was shaking hands with everyone who walks up to him.

    3. Doodle.

  4. Ron says

    Jon, first of all, amazing job at YPS!!! I pooped my pants every time I saw your name on the schedule. You owe me a pack of underwear (preferably one with 2 bonus pairs, A.K.A. any pack of underwear).

    Along with that I’ll add to #3 there was a person that continuously yelled throughout the conference, “COME ON!” I couldn’t figure out if he was saying it with irritation (i.e. spilling coffee on your shirt and yelling “COME ON!”) or to encourage.

    I also challenge you to follow up this article with “20 things you can only do at Rock the Universe / Night of Joy” (i.e. chant “we love Jesus, yes we do…”, demand high fives from strangers, etc…). I’m fairly certain there are at least 20 things.

  5. Prophet Ezequiel says

    Getting baptized in the Holy Ghost. Try that in public, and they send you directly to the emergency room

    • Chandre De Wet says

      There’s a revival happening in a small town in South Africa called East London… It’s sweeping across the churches. During worship, someone in the choir at a Methodist Church fell over (from the Holy Spirit) and because no one knew what that was they called the Ambulance… :)

  6. says

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  7. Josiah Coleman says

    Puppet shows. Speaking in tongues. Dance groups made solely of white kids who listen to (sorta) rock music.

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