I write a lot about queso.
That’s probably not a sentence Hemingway ever typed but whatever, this is my life. He made his own decisions as an author. These are mine.
I could certainly write volumes about the many positive aspects of queso but I do have one problem with it. I’m never sure if I am supposed to pray before I eat it at a restaurant.
In fact, I’m not sure if you’re supposed to pray before the appetizer or before the entrée. It seems like everyone approaches it a little differently, so here are some rules we might all be able to agree on.
1. You don’t have to pray before a side salad.
If it’s a light appetizer, that does not include any meat, you don’t have to pray before it. Here’s a rhyme to help you remember, “If it has neither hide nor hair, that appetizer needs no prayer.”
2. If you order just appetizers you have to pray.
In college, my favorite thing to order at restaurants was water and whatever appetizer came with as much free bread as I could fit in my pants. I’d look longingly at people who could order from the right hand side of the menu. If that’s you, and the appetizer is your whole meal, pray before it arrives.
3. If your appetizer is taking a long time to show up, pray.
Every Christian on the planet knows that if you want your server to appear instantly, just start praying. Out of thin air they will materialize the minute you close your eyes and start praying creating a vortex of awkwardness. Do you speed up the prayer, sensing them standing there? Do they walk away three feet, allowing you some prayervicy? (I just made up that word, you’re welcome.) That’s your call, but trust me on this one, if you want quick delivery of an appetizer, prayer is your go to move.
More than likely, it will take more than one blog post to settle this debate. Christians have been arguing about God and food since the disciples first disagreed with Jesus that they didn’t have nearly enough fish and chips for the crowd. (Pretty sure I got that story right.)
What are your rules about praying before you eat?