It’s almost wedding season, or as I like to call it, “Waffle maker season.” I’m not pretty sure they don’t let you buy one of those unless you’re attending a wedding. Nothing says eternal love like a waffle. (I bet the pancake industry hates weddings. The pancake people and waffle people are probably like the Biggie and Tupac of breakfast pastries.)
That’s a photo of the waffle maker Jenny and I used to own. I say “used to” because when I posted it online and someone saw how hard we’d waffled over the years they mailed us a brand new one. Pretty sure I’m posting a photo of our car next. I digress
Every time, wedding season rolls around it reminds me of a post I wrote years ago. A post that I fear we might need now more than ever. A post that started with this bold statement,
Fine, I’ll say it: We Christians need to agree to a one sex joke maximum during our wedding ceremonies.
Seriously, let’s make that happen today.
I don’t know where this started, but I’d like to be part of the solution to stopping it even though it is a very uniquely Christian thing to do. Think about it, if the couple getting married already had sex then what they’re going to do on their honeymoon night might be very similar to what they might have done last Tuesday night. Big deal. There’s no point in joking about it. It would be like joking about me being awesome at breakdancing. Everyone already knows I do that all the time, so it wouldn’t be funny. But if you’ve got two virgins up on stage I fear that’s a joke opportunity that an increasing number of young ministers are unable to resist.
For example, I was at a beautiful wedding last winter and one of the people officiating the ceremony made about half a dozen sex jokes. The young couple squirmed and blushed while the crowd laughed nervously. The first joke was funny and appropriate. I mean if you’re doing a Christian wedding then theoretically joking about sex should kill in that setting. They’ve never had sex before and by talking about it you get to shock the crowd in a fun way. And so I welcomed the first joke and felt relieved that we had gotten that subject out of the way. In my head I thought, “Great, let’s move on to the unity candle, perhaps a three stranded ribbon that represents the man, the woman and God and then eat some cake.”
But this guy kept working the room blue. From “good lovin’” to “what you’re going to do later,” he was unstoppable. By the sixth sex joke I wanted to stand up in the aisle and shout, “We get it, they’re going to do it! Everyone, these two people right here are going to have sex!”
I didn’t though because my wife was there and she really hates when I yell things in the middle of weddings. But maybe today you and I can agree to a one sex joke maximum at Christian weddings.
Let’s change the world together.
We can do it.
I believe in us.
We built this city on rock and roll.